Phrases I want to use in conversation, but probably never will

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

My list is short, but growing.
Beginning with something I heard today.

-Effervescent s$~$stain

If I ever start a garage band that's going to be the name.

[Tirisfal]

I've always wanted to get into an argument with an old lady so that I can say "now listen here, grandma."

[Steve Geddes]

George Carlin did a routine about sentences that had never been said before. "Pass me that grand piano" was my favorite.

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

I've been lucky enough to be able to use the phrase "Mr. Sister" in conversation on multiple occasions. It's one of my favorites.

[Heathansson]

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

I actually used this once.

[Heathansson]

It made somebody mad, too.

[Sissyl]

For some reason, saying "I forgive you" remains one of the most efficient ways of getting someone off their rocker. But as to fun phrases, here's mine:

Now feel the power of my FREEZE RAY!

[Braingamer]

Just going to leave this here...

[Mikaze]

"Sure! I can manage a menage-a-trois!"

"Please take it, I insist. Fifty million dollars is more than enough for me to live on."

"If you're certain you want me to have your Caterham AeroSeven, who am I to argue?"

[An Inglorious Basterd]

Yes. Yes, that's fine; no need to thank me; I am very happy to let you three young ladies do those things to me, and all at the same time, right now, this very minute; yes, just like that. Ohhhh.

[Tirisfal]

"You can do what with a bidet? No, I'm not doing anything right now, I'll be right over."

[GeraintElberion]

"That's not a Cornish cream tea; that's a Devon cream tea! Never speak to me again!"

[Vod Canockers]

I'm just happy when I can use defenestrate in a sentence.

[Lathiira]

One I've used at work: "It's okay, he's not on my list of people I need alive."

Also: Don't make me eviscerate you with my fingertips so you can die screaming in a pool of your own entrails. I keep breaking nails, it'll just hurt more.

[Aberzombie]

I've actually used "I never drive faster than I can see. Besides, it's all in the reflexes."

[Freehold DM]

"Yes officer, that is my mobile suit parked in the red zone. I'll move it right away."

[Orthos]

"GET/STAY IN THE DAMN BALL"

I use it a lot, but using it real life and actually having it be applicable would be awesome.

[Lathiira]

Freehold DM wrote:

"Yes officer, that is my mobile suit parked in the red zone. I'll move it right away."

My variant: "Yes officer, that IS my battlemech double-parked on that Tahoe and that Tundra."

Also: "Yes, I know my Locust IIc was doing 150 down the Inner Loop. Oh, and you're upset about the twenty-two miles of wrecked cars? Sorry about that too."

[Mark von Drake]

"The main problem here is too much freewill and not enough complete devotion to me."

[Scythia]

Vod Canockers wrote:

I'm just happy when I can use defenestrate in a sentence.

So long as you don't create opportunities to do so.

Mine would be: "Yes, you are right to worship me."

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

"When someone asks if you're a god you say 'Yes'!"

[Orthos]

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:

"When someone asks if you're a god you say 'Yes'!"

I have an ex-roommate who used that quote frequently.

[Ivan Rûski]

"If anyone needs me, I'll be on the holo-deck."

[Pan]

"Fire the laser"

[Quirel]

"No, officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over."

For context