So I have a 3rd level LN Inquisitor of Erastil (Plant Domain) who is very focused on Intimidate. This half-orc is impatient and eager to destroy enemies of his god (and evil in general) but always has time to goad and criticize his foes prior to combat.
In the spirit of the Inquisitor I do try and spew out a short tirade before rolling the skill check but I am running out of interesting and cutting remarks. Can I get some funny, sharp, self-righteous....well, anything really.... rants to toss out at my foes?
Sandpoint needs you! Thanks!
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Foul wretches! An eternity of damnation awaits thee after a brutal death by my arrows!
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Oh, just to mention. He wields a greataxe and maybe a sling (no chance to buy a bow yet). Still, saying you will destroy someone with arrows but then charging in with a huge axe is a fantastic image.
Oh, just to mention. He wields a greataxe and maybe a sling (no chance to buy a bow yet). Still, saying you will destroy someone with arrows but then charging in with a huge axe is a fantastic image.
What are some of the creatures you've killed? I can do wonders with that.
Oh, just to mention. He wields a greataxe and maybe a sling (no chance to buy a bow yet). Still, saying you will destroy someone with arrows but then charging in with a huge axe is a fantastic image.What are some of the creatures you've killed? I can do wonders with that.
Many goblins (one was a Druid with its animal companion leopard and another was a Chieftan). A giant lizard mount. Some Yeth hounds. More goblins! A bugbear. Zombies. A mephit.
Only level 3 and we've been in one area for all of it. He's had some good rolls when he Enlarges.
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NOBODY EXPECTS THE AXE-QUISITION!!!!
Edit: Rats. Just noticed the last line of countchocula's post.
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(When facing something doglike) Is that all you got? I know TREES with more bark than that!
I'm going to snap you like a rotten twig!
Your crimes are worthy of the Wild Hunt. Unfortunately for you, they sent me instead.
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[bored, resigned]"Another to usher to Judgement? I am weary, yeah, but I will serve. You! Make your peace with your god! You meet them this day!"[/bored, resigned]
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You ought to learn the importance of family. Perhaps I should send you back to them in a nice wooden box.
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Prepare for another round of natural selection!
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Time to prune the garden!
Filthy slugs! I'll salt your wounds!
You'll be fertilizer when I'm done with you!
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If you haven't used it yet: I'm gonna gut you like a fish!
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You could just go all Dirty Harry on them ;)
"You gotta ask yourself something, do I feel lucky....well do ya punk?"
Or...
"A Druid has got to know his/her limitations."
Or...
"This is an 8 gauge steel Battleaxe of Erastil, the most powerful Battleaxe in the world. One swipe can take a Zombies head clean off."
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"Just the fertilizer I was looking for..."
"Who's next to the Chopping Block?"
"You're no tree...but I'll cut you down all the same."
"I'll build a raft out of you yet."
"My jury and judge is Nature. My executioner? Right here in my hands..."
"I'll skip rocks across your face like in the vast oceans!"
"Crawl back to whatever hole spat you out!"
"Your fear is but proof of Nature at work."
"I've met the Kraken once before. In fact, he's going to tear you apart right now!"
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My name is ______ and I serve The Lord of the Hunt. And you? You're nothing more than prey.
Remember when your mommy told you the boogeyman would get you if you didn't behave? Well.... Here I am.
You know, there's a word for things like you. Meat.
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Stick around.
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The Judgement of Heaven is swift but sure. Mine just hurts a lot.
Hello. My name is _____. My task this day is to escort you to your gods. Prepare for Judgement.
You have 5 seconds to leave this battlefield, or by my Holy Oaths to Erastil I WILL END YOU!
(Late at night, my suggestions are filled with puns and quips. In the morning, they're filled with threats of pain and death. Gee, can you tell I'm not a morning person?)
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I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.
-Genghis Khan
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The name is (Jon Johnson of Wisconsin, for example). Inquisitor and patriot. Scourge of the wicked. O Tyrant, hear His mighty name, and tremble!
And He shall smite the wicked and put them into the Fiery Pit!
I´m a lumberjack and I´m okay, I work all night and I purge all day
Win or Lose? Life or Death? Heaven or Hell? Let´s Rock!
For what the damned lumber would hope but for the mercy of the jack?
I´LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!
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Minsc is a great inspiration;
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, watch it! I'm huge!
Evil 'round every corner. Careful not to step in any.
Take heart fellow adventurers, for you have curried the favor of Boo, the only miniature giant space hamster in the Realm!
There is strength in numbers, and I am two or three, at least.
The bigger they are, the harder I hit!
(when berserking): Fear not! I will inspire you all by charging blindly on!
(to his pet hamster Boo, when battle is imminent): Go for the eyes Boo, GO FOR THE EYES!! RrraaaAAGHGHH!!!
(on failure to do damage with equipped weapon): I hit, to no effect!? I need a bigger sword!
Butt-kicking! For goodness!
Minsc will lead with blade and boot! Boo will take care of the details.
Jump on my sword while you can, evil... I won't be as gentle!
Squeaky wheel gets the kick!
Live by the sword, live a good looong time.
Ooo, squirrels, Boo! I know I saw them! Quick, throw nuts!
Feel the backhand of Justice!
Full plate, and packing steel!
A den of stinking evil. Cover your nose Boo! We will leave no crevice untouched!
When the going gets tough, someone hold my rodent!
There be safety in numbers and I am two or three at least.
These bars will not hold my wrath. Minsc will be free! Butts shall be liberally kicked in good measure.
Make way evil! I'm armed to the teeth and packing a hamster!
Boo points, I punch. Is very simple relationship, but it is effective.
Cities always teem with evil and decay. Let's give it a good shake and see what falls out!
If i knock you through a tree, will you bleed chlorophyll?
I'm going to "plant" you in the ground.
I'm going to solve the ROOT of the problem, by burying you.
[We(e) D]on't like your kind round here!
Leaf now or die!
Does your evil stem from your childhood, not that I care...
I'm gonna make you a weeping willow sanswillow!!
Timber!
I'd tell you you're ugly, but you aren't blind, I'm sure you've noticed.
If i crush your skeleton now, while you live, i wont have to worry about necromancers later!
There's nothing wrong with you that can't be fixed by the tip of my blade.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't a battlefield; it's an operating table, and I'm the surgeon. (Swiped from Batman)
Well played all! This should occupy me until Greater Bane.
Happy hunting.