Your Skippy's List -or- Things You're No Longer Allowed To Do In PFS

[FanaticRat]

Title says it all. In the vein of the infamous Skippy's list, post hilarious/outrageous things you have done or would like to do that have or probably will make your GM say, "c'mon dude honestly." Preferably stuff that is not in malicious taste, just kinda off the wall. In character or out of character, don't really care.

[Cheapy]

Synthesize.

[TOZ]

Watch Torch bathe.

[jcederberg]

Just yesterday, we were attempting to track an invisible BBEG that was trying to escape. By the end, I was on a giant vulture, tracking with scent, and had a dolphin summoned into my saddlebags in an effort to use echolocation (blindsight) to chase down the boss.

In the end, the BBEG was ruled as having escaped due to the dolphin's inability to effectively communicate the correct direction to me, as I was not the summoner.

Edit - I guess that story isn't quite "skippy's list" material, but I just had to share.

[Baron Edwin LeBlanc]

I am no longer allowed to topple shelves of alchemical items onto kobolds without first identifying the contents of those shelves.

[That Porter Kid]

Sell fellow pathfinders into slavery for personal gain.

[YogoZuno]

My son no longer listens to me when I say 'It'll only provoke an Attack of Opportunity, how bad could that be?', since the incident with a Remorhaz...

[RtrnofdMax]

Use Antagonize on an NPC who is trying to run away from the party. Honestly, it just seemed like the easiest way to avoid a chase scene. It also forced the DM to have the NPC attack me, which was very out of character for this particular NPC. I don't think she's forgiven me to this day.

[Mike Mistele]

I am no longer allowed to tell newbie players to spend all of their disposable cash on guard dogs before playing "Frostfur Captives".

[Mojorat]

Not to derail anything but... just how big are your saddle bags?

[WhtKnt]

Mike Mistele wrote:

I am no longer allowed to tell newbie players to spend all of their disposable cash on guard dogs before playing "Frostfur Captives".

ROTFL!

Major Spoiler about Frostfur Captives:

The Grand Lodge member in my group misinterpreted his mission objective and actively eliminated every captive, doing so (in large part) without alerting his party members!

[Zahir ibn Mahmoud ibn Jothan]

From LG, but still in line:

I was instructed that I was no longer allowed to shoot the Dragon Turtle that was added to the module "just for flavor."

Back to PFS, and along the same line:

I'm no longer allowed to shoot first before the smarter party members have determined its time to fight.

[jcederberg]

Mojorat wrote:

Not to derail anything but... just how big are your saddle bags?

Normal size, so not actually big enough to do anything but act as flavor. However, since my pc was a small rider on a large mount, there was enough space to keep her from flying off the back if we tied her down on the vulture itself.

Interestingly enough, the logistics of keeping a dolphin airborne weren't what prompted the GM to call the escape a success. Trying to convince him that we would just have the dolphin chitter as we got closer (like a metal detector) since she couldn't actually talk to me was what pushed it over the edge.

[MrSin]

I am no longer allowed to play an intoxicated alchemist who mixes all his drinks with alcohol.

[FLite]

Not myself actually but belongs on a skippys list.

Not allowed to say "There are five of us and one of her, we can take her" in reference to the Venture Captain giving us our mission briefing.

Especially not allowed to say this while playing a first level character in a party of first and second level characters.

[Rushley son of Halum]

No longer allowed to "bomb first and ask questions later"

No longer allowed to pursue vendettas against level 5 magus' with a level 2 ranger.

Just because it's made of wood does not mean we should burn it.

The gunslingers ammo pouch is not a "back up bomb"

When asking "what could possibly go wrong" the answer is always "treachery demons."

[BigNorseWolf]

No longer allowed to have charm person, grease, and black tentacles on the same character.

[Kurthnaga]

John Grigsby wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:

When I played Frostfur, I actually interpreted it the same way on my Druid. He had great survival and was fairly resistant to the elements, so I had a plan to track some wolves and lead them to the goblins with some fresh deer meat+some beef I had to try and tempt them into attacking the goblins, who would obviously attack back. I thought I was being fairly clever, as no one would even know it was me with my ability to pass through our oblivious party at night, but my GM and I had a conversation before I did so and he showed me what I was actually supposed to do in the scenario, so as not to screw up the other players enjoyment of the scenario.

TBH I was kind of disappointed he didn't let me do it. I thought I was being fairly clever, especially because it was exactly my druid's style.

[Rusty Ironpants]

MrSin wrote:

I am no longer allowed to play an intoxicated alchemist who mixes all his drinks with alcohol.

That totally needs to be an alchemist archetype. :)

[Kurthnaga]

To add to my previous post, which I can no longer edit.

I am no longer allowed to attempt to appraise female party members to see what their going street rate would be.

[Jelloarm]

I am no longer allowed to go "It's a goblin lab, of course there are alchemists fires in there! Just a lot of alchemists fire."

Because then the player will fill a backpack with it and throw said backpack at enemies. "What's the damage for 6 alchemist fires going off at the same time?" *headdesk*

[Reggie]

I can no longer use bush kangaroos to advise on neurosurgical techniques.

Reggie.

[Titania, the Summer Queen]

These made me laugh, thanks all.

[Jiggy]

Suddenly I want to read an "Evil Overlord List" but for RPG BBEGs.

[Sparky Spain]

No longer allowed to...

1) Attempt to give the Paracountess a sponge bath.
2) Attempt to give Torch a sponge bath.
3) Wake Drandle Dreng up at 3am demanding he give our Pathfinder group a mission.
4) Attempt to use Misfortune on a roll-off for a table boon.
5) Make a painting of Sarenrae in a compromising position with two succubi.
6) Give my oracle with Clouded Vision command of a pirate ship.
7) Have my oracle with Tongues speak in Pig Latin.

[RainyDayNinja]

Jiggy is no longer allowed to lock himself in a mission-critical room with the key.

[Fromper]

The scary part is that two of these have given me inspiration for my own characters. Appraising the female party members definitely sounds like something my pirate PC with 7 charisma would do. And the drunken alchemist thing makes perfect sense - I agree that it should be an archetype. We've got a drunken barbarian archetype, and this makes even more sense.

RtrnofdMax wrote:

Use Antagonize on an NPC who is trying to run away from the party. Honestly, it just seemed like the easiest way to avoid a chase scene. It also forced the DM to have the NPC attack me, which was very out of character for this particular NPC. I don't think she's forgiven me to this day.

A friend of mine almost broke the first part of Eyes of the Ten with the Antagonize feat. This is a very minor spoiler, so I won't even put it in spoiler tags, but basically an NPC shows up near the beginning of this double length scenario, casts the 10th level Summon Plot Device spell, and then teleports away before the party can engage him directly. Obviously, you're not supposed to run into him again until later. But my friend, the rules lawyer, insisted that he wouldn't be able to teleport away until one round after showing up and invoking the plot device (which is technically true), so her paladin with Antagonize and something like a +30 to use it almost broke the entire adventure by hitting him with it before he had time to leave.

There are very few game mechanics that I think are so broken that they should be removed, but Antagonize tops my list. I considered taking it for my prankster bard (who lives to mock and demoralize enemies), but decided it was just too cheesy.

[David H]

Heh, this thread reminds me of this fun list :)
2200 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG

[rknop]

I am no longer able to gain fame, standings, and monetary reward from the Society for killing innocent kobold druids in the swamps of Kortos island.

[Yiroep]

Retrieve a jade katana or talk to Captain Tanner.

[Fromper]

Those are totally not true. You can go fishing with Crazy Ol' Tanner any time you like. He's just not likely to show up during a scenario.

Although now you've got me thinking about how to make a PC out of him.

[Jason S]

No longer able to trick our party Paladin. Common, everyone knows you have to trick your paladin sometimes! :)

[godsDMit]

No longer allowed to have my then-Lantern Lodge Alchemist tell Amara Li how annoying he finds it that she always puts her picture on the mission notes she gives to him.

"I know what you look like! You are so conceited!"
---

Shouldnt be allowed to tell Canayvan to shut up because he is a terrible Venture Captain.

[Christopher Utley]

David Higaki wrote:

Heh, this thread reminds me of this fun list :)

2200 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG

Thank you for this.

[David H]

I am no longer allowed to use Osprey as a carrier pigeon, even if I cast Expeditious Retreat on him.

I am no longer allowed to cast black tentacles in a 20' x 20' room.

I am no longer allowed to cast spike stones down the only entry hallway into the dungeon without also having dispel magic prepared.

I am no longer allowed to cast confusion during a diplomatic session just for S&G's.

Despite taking a rank in Linguistics for sign language, it is still a -20 penalty to Bluff check to convince someone that flipping them off is a pleasantry.

I am no longer allowed to create a goblin named 'Fire Kender'.

I am no longer allowed to play my level 5 PC in a 1-2 mission and call the Out of Tier gold amount 'babysitting fees'.

I cannot ask Aram Zey to pull the scroll out of his rear end during a mission briefing.

I cannot ask for the identities of the Decemvirate so I can send them Foundation Day cards.

[FanaticRat]

Jelloarm wrote:

I am no longer allowed to go "It's a goblin lab, of course there are alchemists fires in there! Just a lot of alchemists fire."

Because then the player will fill a backpack with it and throw said backpack at enemies. "What's the damage for 6 alchemist fires going off at the same time?" *headdesk*

Sounds better than my idea to use a bag of holding with 30 alchemist fires as makeshift carpet bombing.

This thread has also inspired me to put my +12 linguistics to use and see if I can actually manage to bypass an encounter by forging a bill of sale and claiming I bought the place when mooks ask.

[Todd Lower]

David Higaki wrote:

I am no longer allowed to play my level 5 PC in a 1-2 mission and call the Out of Tier gold amount 'babysitting fees'.

Why not? Seems appropriate.

[BigNorseWolf]

It doesn't matter how much of my wbl i put on my velociraptor, he cannot have spinners on his talons.

[Kyrie Ebonblade]

I'm no longer allowed to refer to Major Colson's hat as 'his mummy's hat'.
I'm no longer allowed to call Aspis badges as 'Bullet targets', particularly in social events.
I'm no longer allowed to give the Goblin PC salt water taffy, fireworks, spicy/gassy food or tell him where any of these are found.
I'm no longer allowed to petition for the destruction of the Blackros Museum.

[David H]

It is not proper to ask Kreighton Shaine if he needs someone to take him to rehab.

It is also not proper to ask Kreighton Shaine if I can have some of what he's on.

I am not allowed to cast silence in my room so I can sleep through a Drandle Dreng summons.

I am not allowed to woo Paracountess Dralneen, even if my Charisma checks are high enough to do so.

I am also not allowed to woo Ollystria Zadrian, even if my Charisma checks are high enough to do so.

Despite not being worth prestige any more, I am not allowed to use scrying to figure out what others factions mission are.

I am not allowed to reskin my Sczarni Tien PC as Yakuza.

I am barred from taunting the new grippli PC's about my +20 bonus to French cooking.

Despite how clever I think it is, naming my dhampir cleric "Dr. Acula" will raise some eyebrows.

I am not allowed to use GenCon race boons as Kleenex to taunt non-congoing players.

I am not allowed to spend 2000 gold on single purchases of holy water just to use more Inventory Tracking sheets than everyone else.

Despite how high my Charisma is, I am not allowed to cast arcane mark on the Int 7 fighter and convince him he's my eidolon.

I am not allowed to sunder every bit of treasure we come across just because we still get the gold for it at the end of the mission.

I am not allowed to drag the corpses of enemies we kill for a bonus to my Profession: Taxidermist Day Job checks.

I am not allowed to burn my Prestige Points on porters and send them into a room first in Bonekeep.

I am not allowed to use my Profession: Insurance Salesman skill on lower level PC's when they are playing up in a mission.

A wayfinder is not to be used as the following.
-a coaster
-a doorstop
-a strobe light by opening and closing it repeatedly
-getting discount drinks during Happy Hour
-a masterwork tool for Profession: Trail Guide
-convincing goblins that I am a powerful wizard

I am banned from creating an elf with Con 5, even if his name is 'Fraileaf'.

[Aerik Prativhssen]

I'm not even allowed to talk when Sheila Heidmarch is in the room. D:

[Jack-of-Blades]

- Holding up a vial of Antiplague and saying "It's covered!" with a lewd wink is not an appropriate way to reassure someone you are attempting to woo.

- It is not appropriate to make lewd comments to ANY Venture Captain, faction leader, or important NPC contact during a mission briefing. ESPECIALLY if they are married and/or their spouse is IN THE SAME ROOM.

- Just because the local law states that "Any thief caught stealing will be punished..." is not to be met with a "Challenge Accepted!" from the quick-fingered members of the party.

[Mike Mistele]

David Higaki wrote:

I am not allowed to woo Paracountess Dralneen, even if my Charisma checks are high enough to do so.

I am also not allowed to woo Ollystria Zadrian, even if my Charisma checks are high enough to do so.

I am no longer allowed to request that Paracountess Dralneen and Ollystria Zadrian engage in a mud-wrestling match, even though it would be the best recruiting tool the Society had ever seen.

[Mash]

Me cant tell Drendle Drang "You know this is why I trust Grandmaster Torch more than you, right?"... again.

[Jelloarm]

Thomas Graham wrote:

I'm no longer allowed to petition for the destruction of the Blackros Museum.

This comes up at our table about once a month.

I am no longer allowed to refer to the rest of the party as 'simpletons,' even if I triple their knowledge checks.

[RainyDayNinja]

When I see a child in a dangerous situation, I'm not allowed to make a Knowledge (Paizo editorial guidelines) check to determine if that child is really something else in disguise.

[Fromper]

RainyDayNinja wrote:

When I see a child in a dangerous situation, I'm not allowed to make a Knowledge (Paizo editorial guidelines) check to determine if that child is really something else in disguise.

I thought that skill was called Knowledge (Metagame). I have it trained on most of my PCs.

[Jiggy]

No matter how creepy the tiny little fishing village is, I'm not allowed to go camp somewhere, prep half a dozen or more fireball spells, then stand at the top of the 400ft high cliff that surrounds said village and level the whole place in less than a minute.

[BigNorseWolf]

it doesn't matter if it followed me home, I can't keep it.

not allowed to play weekend at bernies with the 1,000 year old mummy

not allowed to fireball the party and that NPC commoner that was comming right for us

not allowed to burn down the orphanage, no matter how many creepy twins there are

not allowed to burn down the orphanage because the old lady running it gives me the heebi jebbies.

not allowed within 1,000 feet of an orphanage

not allowed to refer to other party members for spare parts.

I cannot name the two headed skeletal velociraptor i "adopted" linsee and lohan.

i cannot put BBQ sauce on the party members with 20 foot movements

not allowed to use party members as a material component for animal messenger

not allowed to rules lawyer the throw anything feat into allowing me to keep 50 halflings in an efficient quiver.

paladin is not the other other white meat.