>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<


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I blame Cosmo that we can't all be as delicious as Pizza the Hutt.

{stomach rumbles implacably}

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo that Pizza Hut got rid of their online $7.99 Large 2 topping deal after years.

And also that they’re trying to pass off these 20% percent off deals in its wake like its an improvement.


They're offering 50% off by us.

Silver Crusade

Nice, haven’t gotten one of those yet.


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Ya know, I tried to be good and avoided ordering from Bezoar Bezos as much as I could. But with everything shutting down and me still needing sanity-preserving supplies for my new obsession addiction hobby, I pulled the trigger and did it. And now, now the stuff I was depending on being here this Friday -- stuff that's all in stock and just sitting there in their warehouse -- has been delayed until April 24th at the very earliest!

[selfish whine] AUGH! Cosmo, why?! Isn't my mile-a-minute fevered brain important too? [/selfish whine]


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I blame Cosmo that it took me the entire game session to import my wrath of the righteous character into roll20.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I blame cosmo that one of my players in 2nd darkness decided to use the 1 divine intervention I that I give each player for some cosmo caused reason. I almost had a TPK too.


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I Blame Cosmo for cloud cover keeping me from seeing the moon tonight :(


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I blame Cosmo twicefold. Not only did it take me an hour and a half to put the critical hit deck into my roll20 campaign, I can't just copy it into my other campaign due to pretending to be fiscally responsible, so must do it again.

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for Zipper and their eggs.

There, I said it.


Cosmo broke my battery charger for my electric lawnmower. But...Cosmo was...dare I say it...merciful. One month before the warranty expires. Not his usual M.O.


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Rysky wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for Zipper and their eggs.

There, I said it.

I Blame for not understanding the above.

I also Blame Cosmo that I just learned today that Zonkeys exist.


Vanykrye wrote:
Cosmo broke my battery charger for my electric lawnmower. But...Cosmo was...dare I say it...merciful. One month before the warranty expires. Not his usual M.O.

That make me more nervous...


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Selene Spires wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Cosmo broke my battery charger for my electric lawnmower. But...Cosmo was...dare I say it...merciful. One month before the warranty expires. Not his usual M.O.
That make me more nervous...

He’s banking on you putting it off or the mower people brushing you around until it is actually expired.


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Selene Spires wrote:
Rysky wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for Zipper and their eggs.

There, I said it.

I Blame for not understanding the above.

I also Blame Cosmo that I just learned today that Zonkeys exist.

I think Zipper and eggs is an Animal Crossing thing. I blame Cosmo that neither Selene nor I have a Nintendo Switch.

(FWIW, I also just learned today that zonkeys exist.)


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I blame Cosmo for eBay sellers who don't answer polite, reasonable questions sent to them.


Vanykrye wrote:
Cosmo broke my battery charger for my electric lawnmower. But...Cosmo was...dare I say it...merciful. One month before the warranty expires. Not his usual M.O.

Something, something about getting a replacement with the whole Coronavirus thing.


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Souls At War wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Cosmo broke my battery charger for my electric lawnmower. But...Cosmo was...dare I say it...merciful. One month before the warranty expires. Not his usual M.O.
Something, something about getting a replacement with the whole Coronavirus thing.

Something, something about not even getting a reply back from them yet with the whole coronavirus thing.


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I blame Cosmo that Vany forgets that He-Who-Must-Be-Blamed plays the long game.


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I Blame Cosmo that I hate when I’m right.


Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
I Blame Cosmo that I hate when I’m right.

I did get the automated response that acknowledged that I sent them something. It even sets me up to expect utter failure.

Quote:
Your request (173326) has been received and will be reviewed by our support staff. With the current situation of COVID-19 (coronavirus), we are taking all necessary steps to keep our office spaces safe for our employees. This may lead to longer than normal response times between emails. We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause and thank you for your understanding and patience.

Silver Crusade

Well at least you have a time stamped paper trail you can refer to if they try to give you gruff later on.

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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Vanykrye wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
I Blame Cosmo that I hate when I’m right.

I did get the automated response that acknowledged that I sent them something. It even sets me up to expect utter failure.

Quote:
Your request (173326) has been received and will be reviewed by our support staff. With the current situation of COVID-19 (coronavirus), we are taking all necessary steps to keep our office spaces safe for our employees. This may lead to longer than normal response times between emails. We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause and thank you for your understanding and patience.

:)


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Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
I Blame Cosmo that I hate when I’m right.

I did get the automated response that acknowledged that I sent them something. It even sets me up to expect utter failure.

Quote:
Your request (173326) has been received and will be reviewed by our support staff. With the current situation of COVID-19 (coronavirus), we are taking all necessary steps to keep our office spaces safe for our employees. This may lead to longer than normal response times between emails. We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause and thank you for your understanding and patience.
:)

Failure achieved.

Even though everything clearly says it has a four year warranty, they are quite insistent that it has a 2 year warranty and are thus not responding to me again. It's like Cosmo is running an entire department of pugwampis.

On the serious side, I'm only out $60 for the charger, which is a small cost when the mower itself is $500 and each battery is $100.

But, back to the annoying side...

I plugged in the new charger and discovered that it's not the charger at all.

Apparently the previous owner of the house took his electrician's apprenticeship from "Cosmo's Online 'Training' Courses of All the Things!" I didn't even consider to check the breaker because nothing else was plugged in to a single outlet in the garage. Lights were on. Garage doors work. I have now discovered that the garage outlets are on the same circuit as the basement lights and outlets. No, nothing is plugged in down there either, so I have no idea how the breaker got flipped.

So now I have two battery chargers for my electric yard equipment. Ok...fine...might as well...I didn't need that $60 going towards anything else in my life, I'm sure.

Silver Crusade

I will not Blame Cosmo that they’re reopening my work today (a gym).

I will however leave many offerings so that his gaze will turn to the no doubt many many d&+#%&#s I’m going to have to deal with today.


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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Rysky wrote:

I will not Blame Cosmo that they’re reopening my work today (a gym).

I will however leave many offerings so that his gaze will turn to the no doubt many many d*!@+##s I’m going to have to deal with today.

I Blame Cosmo that I now have to worry about Rysky's health on top of everything else!

Stay safe, Rysky!


I scrapped a chunk off my leg and got a wicked looking (though superficial) cut on my thumb.

But I don't blame Cosmo.

No, I blame the b!~$%+# crazy a#!&%&# couple that thinks if you have someone build and rebuild something six f*$#ing times then they'll somehow improve on the original.

News flash, a++*+*~s!

YOU CAN'T IMPROVE ON PERFECTION.

I think I need to watch Tiger King again.


I guess I'm just annoyed because after we're done with this job we get to build a mysterious landscape Gundam in the nether regions of Green County.

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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captain yesterday wrote:
But I don't blame Cosmo.

ಠ_ಠ


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*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^


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Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^

I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.


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Master Pugwampi wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^
I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.

Damn, if only I had spent years building an expendable army of aliases!

Oh wait, that's exactly what I did!


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Master Pugwampi wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^
I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.

I blame Cosmo for MP's lack of knowledge on this subject. Not true! We also have....

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

THE COMFY CHAIR!!!

Which is full of knives...


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Master Pugwampi wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^
I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.

ever thought of not gnawing them?

alternatively, put a sign on them, and hit with the side of the sign, depending on the material, could be used as an improvised axe or war-fan.

I blame Cosmo for having that kind of thoughts.


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Ensign 5th Account wrote:
Master Pugwampi wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^
I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.

ever thought of not gnawing them?

but gnawing is half the battle...


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Cosmo Cultist wrote:
Master Pugwampi wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^
I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.

I blame Cosmo for MP's lack of knowledge on this subject. Not true! We also have....

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

THE COMFY CHAIR!!!

Which is full of knives...

AS AN IMPORTANT LESSON, MANY OF THE CHAIR KNIVES ALSO CONTAIN TINIER SURPRISE KNIVES.

(I BLAME COSMO THAT THIS COMMENT IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY HEARD IN CHRISTOPHER LEE'S VOICE.)


Limeylongears wrote:
Ensign 5th Account wrote:
Master Pugwampi wrote:
Pontiff Rysky, of Cult of Cosmo wrote:
*pokes Captain Yesterday with holy stick thingy^
I Blame Cosmo that all we have to strike at interlopers like CY are stick-like things full of holes.

ever thought of not gnawing them?

but gnawing is half the battle...

Gnaw them into spiked stick-thingies...


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Unreliable Narrator wrote:
(I BLAME COSMO THAT THIS COMMENT IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY HEARD IN CHRISTOPHER LEE'S VOICE.)

I read it in the voice of Janice from the YouTube show Sorted. FWIW.


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I used my new-ish digital kitchen scale (only $12!!! WOO!) today to very precisely break down out a family-size pack of ground chuck into 1lb (for meatloaf tonight) and the rest into 1/3lb hamburger patties (for the freezer). And it wasn't just satisfying, but bordering on pleasurable.

I blame Cosmo that I am turning into the anal-retentive chef.


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Take it from me, you definitely want to stay regular.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Cosmo why did you have make one of my players acquiesce the request of a glabrezu to wish down the wards of a building surrounded by demons?

The AP didn't say what the demons did if that actually happened. So I spent 12 hours figuring out what everyone inside was going to do and what all of the demons were going to do if the players didn't interfere. Prerolled everything for 3.5 rounds. There were 75 things things in the initiative. It took 4 hours to go through 4 rounds of initiative. I blame Cosmo for my strange need to go into that much detail.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Also Catfolk are currently well in last place on the Wrath of the righteous choose the race poll. Cosmo why do you not like cats?


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30 minutes ago Me: must be very careful using this x-acto knife for intricate crafty things.
Cosmo DM: OK, you're fine.

5 minutes ago Me: getting some foil for this baking sheet for baked potatoes.
Cosmo DM: OK, you crit failed. You take bleed damage from aluminum foil papercut.


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As promised elsewhere, I blame Cosmo for the cluster#^!$ that has resulted out of the issues the Batwoman show has had recently from having to recast the namesake character. I also blame Cosmo for making DeathQuaker post a logical argument that it isn't likely to get any better. I was just starting to kindasorta enjoy the show instead of watching it out of a sense of Arrowverse completionism, Cosmo! Why?

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

30 minutes ago Me: must be very careful using this x-acto knife for intricate crafty things.

Cosmo DM: OK, you're fine.

5 minutes ago Me: getting some foil for this baking sheet for baked potatoes.
Cosmo DM: OK, you crit failed. You take bleed damage from aluminum foil papercut.

Cosmo DM is best DM.


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Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

30 minutes ago Me: must be very careful using this x-acto knife for intricate crafty things.

Cosmo DM: OK, you're fine.

5 minutes ago Me: getting some foil for this baking sheet for baked potatoes.
Cosmo DM: OK, you crit failed. You take bleed damage from aluminum foil papercut.

Cosmo DM is best DM.

Forever and ever, Natural 1.


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Cosmo Cultist wrote:
Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

30 minutes ago Me: must be very careful using this x-acto knife for intricate crafty things.

Cosmo DM: OK, you're fine.

5 minutes ago Me: getting some foil for this baking sheet for baked potatoes.
Cosmo DM: OK, you crit failed. You take bleed damage from aluminum foil papercut.

Cosmo DM is best DM.
Forever and ever, Natural 1.

Child’s play, natural 2.


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F!ck me for being a sh!tty person and a sh!tty sister.

Spoiler:
I blame Cosmo that knowing I wasn't getting though, knowing that none of my seemingly carefully considered* and deliberately chosen* points were finding purchase, I plowed on arguing anyway. I saw the warning signs -- I remember literally thinking "that is a warning, you better back off. Just let it go." -- and I kept right on going. I kept trying different angles, different lead-ins, different seemingly relatable examples, and I failed to convey it as not different forms of personal attack. Now she thinks that I think she is sh!tty person; she's not, and I tried to explain I didn't think that, but I clearly didn't say that right either. I keep thinking that I'll hit on a good enough sequence of words that will unlock those defenses or slip under the closed door, and that it will allow the information to be heard and understood... and clearly it just comes across as a brute force attack. And full well knowing this, seeing and recognizing the signs in real time that I'm only making it worse, that I'm only making her angrier, that I'm only hurting her more and more, I f!cking keep trying anyway.*

Seriously, what the f!ck is wrong with me that I couldn't just let it go?

We've had fights before, plenty of them. But this feels substantially different. Now it feels like I've irrevocably broken a bond that I can't repair even if I knew how. I'm not sure my sister will ever want to speak to me again, will ever want my nephews to see me again.

...

I also blame Cosmo that I ruined my dad's evening watching us fight, and now she may not visit him again because I might be there.

* Even now, my hubris is so uncut and pure you could get high off it.

Silver Crusade

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*offers hugs*


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:(

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