Our Cosmo, Who Art in Redmond,
Harrowed Be Thy Name.
Thy Mustache Come,
Thy Ill be Done
In Spite as it is in Hatred.
Give Us this Day our Daily Dread,
And Grant Us Misfortune
As We bestow Misfortune on Those who Irk Us.
And Lead us Not into Salvation,
But Deliver unto us Chaos.
For Thine is the Weeping, the Gnashing, and the Flailing,
Forever and Ever,