Gravity Ring
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot hands; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Shadowy, arcane runes etch themselves into the sides of this adamantine ring. The runes are pulsating arrows depicting to the wearer which direction gravity flows.
When the wearer of the gravity ring turns it clockwise on her finger as a move action, the gravity and perspective of a 100 cubic foot or less room rotates clockwise by ninety degrees. A successful Will save DC 17 negates the effect. Turning the ring counter clockwise only causes the runes on the ring to flash and disappear for 1d4 minutes. Turning the ring counter clockwise three times in a row causes it to disappear into a pocket dimension. A successful Reflex save DC 17 allows any creature within 15 feet of the ring to escape being drawn into this pocket dimension.
The next rune doesn't appear until the ring is turned clockwise and the last rune disappears as it is rotated under the wearer's knuckle.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, reverse gravity; Cost 40,000 gp
AHA! Came in 3 minutes under deadline!
Faithful Hand
Dirty jokes notwithstanding I like the name. It piques my interest.
Faint universal eh? Hmmm...what could be in store. Pricing and slotless indicate this is going to be a consumable.
"has been carved to a tapered point" seems better than "has been carved to taper to a point" and saves a word :)
I literally laughed out loud at "invigorating back scratch".
The 2nd sentence in the 2nd paragraph seems...like a fragment. Maybe because it should be rises?
Still a hilarious item.
I like the item which is obviously meant to be humorous. There's a good idea in here with the scratching and massaging...if only it had a real game effect such as dissipating X non-lethal damage or something like that. Good name (aside from the dirty jokes it provokes) and good imagery.
Hello, theheadkase! I'll try my hand at critiquing your item, if you don't mind.
Gravity Ring
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot hands; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Plain and direct name, not particularly inspiring, but it works ok. It tells me what the item is and hints at what it does. Thus said, it also tells me that it is a ring, and therefore not a wondrous item, so it would be disqualified - rings and wondrous items are in diferent magic items categories. Change it to wristband or something and we are back on track.
Description
Shadowy, arcane runes etch themselves into the sides of this adamantine ring. The runes are pulsating arrows depicting to the wearer which direction gravity flows.
I like the description, good use of active voice. I'm not completely sold on the idea of the arrows pointing the gravity's vector, since it would be a little redundant - it is fairly obvious which way gravity is flowing. However, even if it is not particularly useful, it makes for a nice visual, so I'm ok with it.
When the wearer of the gravity ring turns it clockwise on her finger as a move action, the gravity and perspective of a 100 cubic foot or less room rotates clockwise by ninety degrees. A successful Will save DC 17 negates the effect.
A nice spin on reverse gravity, allowing gravity to flow virtually in any direction instead of simply inverting it. Still, a little too close to the spell.
I'm not sure what you mean when you say the perspective rotates. I think it is good that it is possible to avoid the effect with a save, but it would be kind of a pain to make saves for every creature and magic object in a 100 cubic foot space.
Activating the item is a move action, which is really powerful in terms of action economy. It should be a standard action. You don't state how long the effect lasts; for all I know, the change could be permanent.
Turning the ring counter clockwise only causes the runes on the ring to flash and disappear for 1d4 minutes.
I'm not sure what this is for. I suppose it is to disguise the ring as a regular ring. If so, maybe this should increase spellcraft DC to identify the item while the runes are hidden... just a thought.
Turning the ring counter clockwise three times in a row causes it to disappear into a pocket dimension. A successful Reflex save DC 17 allows any creature within 15 feet of the ring to escape being drawn into this pocket dimension.
I like the singularity/black hole tie in with the pocket dimension.
However, you don't adress the question of how to retrieve the ring once it goes to the pocket dimension, or how to escape it, or how the pocket dimensio works (is there enough air for everyone drawn in? How long will it last?). There is a lot of relevant information missing.
The next rune doesn't appear until the ring is turned clockwise and the last rune disappears as it is rotated under the wearer's knuckle.
Maybe I missed something, but I didn't understand what is going on here.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, reverse gravity; Cost 40,000 gp
Looks pricey, but I didn't do the math. I'll come back to this later.
Cheers!
Thanks Pedro!!!
Gah...Can't believe I forgot that rings are NOT wondrous!
The arrows were completely for visuals.
I tried to imply (but I should have stated since I still have the wordcount) that the effect only lasted while the ring was there. Great thing to learn on my part. What's clear to me is muddy to the reader.
I meant to trim perspective out-my original idea was that the room actually rotates. I decided against that and that word was a legacy.
Totally understand the pain of making saves for every magic object and it is a big space. That said...just because there is a save doesn't mean it has to be taken :)
I struggled on the action type. Swift was too quick for me. Standard seemed too long. Move seemed right...but again this is an area I struggle in so maybe this is one spot I should go against what feels right to me.
The disappearing runes on a counterclockwise turn is supposed to be a warning indicator to the wearer of the black hole effect. Hmm...wonder how I can convey that without being explicit.
Absolutely right on missing the information for the pocket dimension. This is something I go back and forth on a lot. I intentionally left it vague for the GM. That way it could be a hook for the GM but it is not mechanically tied down to something.
That last sentence was just more flavor. Trying to conjure more visuals of the runes disappearing and etching themselves onto the ring.
Thanks a bunch Pedro. Always great to learn!
Challenge accepted!
30 minutes or less or your item is free...
Waistband of deadly embraces
Aura moderate enchantment, faint transmutation; CL 9th
Slot belt; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This snake skin waistband is crafted from the scales of a large constrictor snake. Tiny rubies are embedded in the eyes of the still-attached head, which serves as the buckle.
Whenever the wearer makes a successful grapple check, he deals an additional 1d6+6 damage, as if he had the constrict special quality.
While grappling, as a standard action, the wearer can command the waistband to snake out and coil around his opponent, who must make a DC 17 Reflex saving throw or become entangled and tethered to the wearer. A creature capable of spellcasting that is bound by this spell must make a concentration check with a DC of 15 + the spell's level to cast a spell. An entangled creature can slip free with a DC 20 Escape Artist check or a DC 23 strength check. The wearer can end this effect as a free action.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate rope, constricting coils; Cost 4,000 gp
Waistband of deadly embraces
I think you forgot to capitalize Deadly and Embraces :)
I like the name it's definitely evocative.
Ohhh...snake teeth belt buckle...awesome.
The base power is nice...I'm a little leary of monster-ability-in-a-can though.
And looking further, I see the Anaconda's Belt which is VERY similar to this...minus the coiling and tethering aspect.
When the belt is coiling around the target, is the target still grappled by the wearer? Or is the target just entangled (do conditions need to be italicized?) and tethered. I'm also curious about how this tethering works, do they get a save whenever movement is made to get more than 5 feet away? Plus...grappled already makes spellcasters deal with a concentration check.
I almost would rather the grapple becomes "transferred" to the belt instead of the wearer still grappling.
I couldn't find the constricting coils term on the PRD...where and what is that?
Based on the Anaconda's Belt, it seems like the price for this is too low. Said belt is 18,500 price and doesn't have the entangling and concentration check abilities.
Overall, it's definitely got some possibilities. I really like the belt buckle description. I feel the pricing is a little too far out of the park (not a killer but...) and I would be unsure how to adjudicate things like if the wearer moves while the target is tethered.
Unless I am wrong, the edit option disappears in 30 minutes. So here goes. :)
EDIT:
Wyvern-Sting Helm
Aura faint conjuration; CL 4th
Slot head; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The silhouette of a wyvern make this helm’s face. The wyvern’s wings part for the wearer’s eyes and its head resting on his forehead like a glowing rune. Blue scales line the rest of the helm and a small azure stinger rests on its top in place of the crest, with glows with a blue light when the wearer is struck by poison weapon.
When the wearer of the wyvern-sting helm is subject to an attack that forces a Fortitude against poison he automatically fails that save. The poison affects him immediately but any damage dealt is reduced by half and its frequency changes to 1/day while the helm’s stinger grows on a long tail. While poisoned the wearer of the helm gains some of the wyvern’s ferocity. He gains a +2 moral bonus to Strength and Constitution and a -2 penalty to AC for 1d6 rounds.
The user suffers a -2 moral bonus on all subsequent saves against the poison. Removing the helm before the poison is cured causes the stinger to attack everyone within 5 ft. of the wearer.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, delay poison, rage,; Cost 1,500 gp
OK with a second thirty minutes to clean it up I got this:
Wyvern-Sting Helm
Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 4th
Slot head; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Covered in fine blue scales this helm has the silhouette of a wyvern for its face. The wyvern’s wings part for the wearer’s eyes and its head rests on his forehead. A small azure stinger crests the helm and grows a long glowing tail when the wearer is struck by a poison weapon.
The wearer automatically fails any Fortitude save against injury poison. The poison affects him immediately but any damage dealt is reduced by half and its frequency changes from rounds to days (for example 1/round for 6 rounds becomes 1/day for 6 days). While poisoned the wearer of the helm gains some of the wyvern’s ferocity. He gains an immunity to poison, a +2 moral bonus to Strength and Constitution and a -2 penalty to AC for 1d6 rounds.
The user fails the next Fortitude save, again taking half damage and suffers a -2 penalty on all subsequent saves against the poison. Removing the helm before curing the poison causes the magical stinger to attack everyone within 5 ft. of the wearer (+12 touch attack) poisoning them with the same poison as the original attack.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, delay poison, rage; Cost 1,500 gp
I'm taking the 30 min challenge.
The Syphoning Sphere
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 44,000 gp; Weight 5 lb.
Description
This golden sphere, encased in adamantine mail, glows dimly when picked up. Activating the sphere’s power causes it to glow radiantly and spin rapidly in a chaotic fashion.
The sphere is activated with a simple command word from the maximum distance of 120ft. Upon activation any creatures within 30ft radius are blinded by the bright light for 1d4 rounds if they do not pass a DC 18 Fortitude check.
During the first round of activation the sphere begins accumulating any and all area spells active within the area of 30ft around it. The sphere absorbs spells at the rate of one spell level per round from all spells active within the area. The spells remain active until the sphere is done syphoning them.
After all the spells have been absorbed the sphere will immediately unleash a blast of force energy emanating from itself, spreading over an area of 60ft. Any creatures caught in the area can make a Reflex save with a DC of 15 to take half damage. The total amount of damage of this attack is equal to xd8, where x the spell level of the highest level spell absorbed within the sphere.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Greater Dispel Magic, Daylight, Wall of Force; Cost 22,000 gp
EDIT: Wow, that was much harder than expected. I really went all over the place with this one, but I hope its at least comprehensive.
@Curaigh - your first sentence in the edited version could almost have been written by me - lol - here's my stab at redoing it for you... I suyre hope you aren't learning my bad habits padawan :P
"A silhouette of a wyvern forms the face of this fine blue scale encrusted helm." (ha! 1 less word :P)
Not keen on "The wearer automatically fails any Fortitude save against injury poison." - an auto fail suffers the same problems as an auto success, even though you temper the effects of the fail.
What happens to a frequency check of minutes or hours if rounds become days? - minutes = weeks? hours = years?
So, I am poisoned after the first save failed, I take on the aspects becoming immune to poison - but then fail the secondary save and gain a -2 on saves against poisons - but aren't I immune to them while poisoned now? or is that once I stop being immune?
What about secondary saves resulting in death - or tertiary saves or secondary saves that happen at regular intervals - or is this just the first secondary save?
Also as written, it could be read that the -2 is a permanent penalty against that poison type.
That's a quick brain dump - hope there's something useful there.
@Orcus - Look at your spells - what did you do that you shouldnt have? And what didn't you do that you should have?
The first - you capitalized the spells!
The second - they aren't sorted alphabetically!
That 30 minutes is a killer.
I'll have a look at the item in more depth in a bit, tea break is over :(
I was in such a rush I just copied the spell names straight out of a Pathfinder Spell list. Don't know how I put them out of whack like that.
EDIT: And it didn't help when I got a phone call in the middle of the 30 minutes.
Curaigh...I'm meaner...I'm going to review the first submission inside the 30 mins :)
Wyvern-Sting Helm
Not crazy about the name but in 30 minutes, it's pretty hard to nail theming and naming and everything. Utilitarian works in this case.
Template looks good so far.
"Makes" isn't really a good word in the first sentence. I'd put something like "This [adjective] helm's face resembles the silhouette of a wyvern."
The second sentence get's a little wonky when describing how the wyvern head rests on the wearer's forehead. I like the imagery behind the idea though.
"with glows with a blue light when the wearer is struck by poison weapon." I think you meant "which" instead of "with" on the first word.
Interesting...a poison indicator...using a creature that typically has a poison tail. Kudos on the idea...I like that.
I agree with Anthony about auto failing. I'd make it a reroll and take the lowest. That way it avoids the flat bonus, and still has a greater chance of activating the rage-like secondary power. Which is still a cool idea by the way.
Overall, great idea. The poison indicator is almost one of those "Why haven't we had that already?!" Especially as much as I see poisons used in Paizo's APs and PFS scenarios. Some wonky writing and less descriptive language was used but that's easily chalked up to the 30 minutes. Template looks good and pricing feels right to me. Kudos!
Alright Orcus, your turn!
The Syphoning Sphere
First, I personally dislike seeing "The" or "A" or some variation as the first word in a name. It just feels off. The name would have been stronger just dropping the "The". Other than that...the name's got my attention.
I think you're CL should be higher. Greater Dispel Magic isn't gotten by a wizard until 11th level.
I like the description so far. Golden ball, surrounded by adamantine mail. Cool. I like the verb choices. When it starts spinning...does it spin inside the mail or does the mail spin as well...just curious on my part.
"blinded by bright light" instead of "blinded by the bright light" :) Drop that THE.
Interesting effect with the absorption of spells starting at the lowest level and going to the highest. Some cool imagery.
Overall, gripes with grammar and wonky writing aside, this is a very cool little globe. This little globe is actually very powerful...as it will make a fight with a BBEG who is a caster even easier as all their buffs are absorbed. The CL should probably be higher and the aura should likely be strong...but I see that CL 11th is still considered moderate. I'd still jack the price up to 80,000 so folks wouldn't stock up a bunch of these at higher levels. Also, what happens when a spell is cast while this is active...what happens when it meets an anti-magic zone...etc.
Work and family life (son #2 arrived in early July) have kept my RPG design productivity on a low burn, so I need to get back into swing.
Going back to read all the 30 minute challenges and realized I totally missed this:
Congratulations Papa Jacob (and Mama Jacob)!
Faithful Hand
... away all of the aches and pains of the adventuring day,...
*formatting & template is fine, as you know.
**SAK or rather the children's version. Maybe a Lit'l SAK*** did inspire me with the quoted line. What about making lethal damage non-lethal? I think that has been played around by some Top 32 somewhere, but if not... :)
Gravity Ring
*lots of information missing as you have already noted. Relative perspective threw me off in more ways than just visual: relativity and gravity laws are linked, my brain was looking for the energy or lightspeed connection (& I'm not even a physicist :)
**Forge Ring, or as Pedro noted, make it not a ring. For the record the slot would also have been ring.***The visuals are a little off. The runes point out the direction of gravity but with someone's hands that is going to change as often as free action (especially if it is my Ma talking about cooking :). Create pit might be a good spell to look into for this extra-dimensional falling.
Inspiration? an area of effect trip or bull rush :)
Alright Orcus, your turn!
The Syphoning Sphere
First, I personally dislike seeing "The" or "A" or some variation as the first word in a name. It just feels off. The name would have been stronger just dropping the "The". Other than that...the name's got my attention.
I think you're CL should be higher. Greater Dispel Magic isn't gotten by a wizard until 11th level.
I like the description so far. Golden ball, surrounded by adamantine mail. Cool. I like the verb choices. When it starts spinning...does it spin inside the mail or does the mail spin as well...just curious on my part.
"blinded by bright light" instead of "blinded by the bright light" :) Drop that THE.
Interesting effect with the absorption of spells starting at the lowest level and going to the highest. Some cool imagery.
Overall, gripes with grammar and wonky writing aside, this is a very cool little globe. This little globe is actually very powerful...as it will make a fight with a BBEG who is a caster even easier as all their buffs are absorbed. The CL should probably be higher and the aura should likely be strong...but I see that CL 11th is still considered moderate. I'd still jack the price up to 80,000 so folks wouldn't stock up a bunch of these at higher levels. Also, what happens when a spell is cast while this is active...what happens when it meets an anti-magic zone...etc.
Yeah, I agree that it probably should have been more expensive. And it says any ACTIVE spells, meaning if another spell is cast that spell is going to start being absorbed that same round. Its a bit unclear, but since its under 30 min, I don't think I did too bad :)
As for the spinning, I imagine only the ball should be spinning and the mail should remain stationary. I reckon that would go towards better imagery?
BTW I've been wanting to ask you guys - Where are you guys from? It seems to me like most of you guys are from the US.
Ohio born and Southern California right now.
The Garden of England - a.k.a Kent gave rise to Template Fu, but I am currently residing in Ipswich in the county of Suffolk (where the wifey hails from).
Work and family life (son #2 arrived in early July) have kept my RPG design productivity on a low burn, so I need to get back into swing.Going back to read all the 30 minute challenges and realized I totally missed this:
Congratulations Papa Jacob (and Mama Jacob)!
Thanks. And due to the generous Danish system for parental leave, Im going to be working part time from January until the end of June. Most of that time goes to infant care, obviously, but hopefully there will be some geek-time too.
I'm from Denmark.
Well that time sounds perfect for a run to the final four :)
Inland Empire, which is a fancy way of saying the Palouse. The actual city is Moscow, ID.
Waistband of deadly embraces
*some passive voice (embedded vs. are embedded)
**the constrict damage is usually based on the original attack. 1d6 seems fine, but +6 indicates a strength of 20+, I would drop that to +2 or +3. It could also be dropped to +strength modifier, but I think a static number is better for pricing purposes/GM ease.***entangled is a condition and the rules for casting do not need to be called out. Grappled has similar rules so it will be important to clarify if the target (and the wearer) are grappled. If not grappled does the constrict damage stay around?
I like the idea of grappling an opponent and being able to step a way, I have a vague memory of another Top 32 doing this.
I'm taking the 30 min challenge.
The Syphoning Sphere
That sounds like we should get T-shirts :)
*If the gold middle is covered in adamantine mail, would we see it? I guess it matters if the maile is plate, chain, ring, etc...
**does an 8th level spell take longer to absorb two 4th level spells? or If I am buffed with a 9th and a 1st is it nine rounds or 10?
**force damage is unique as it rarely (ever?) allows a save. I might choose some other damage.
***does the target know the spell is being siphoned? can he simply move out of the range? I can see this being no good in combat as it would be too many rounds to fully activate (most common buffs being 3-4 level). Of course with its damage to everyone in the area, its is probably meant only as an ambush/surprise round toy, but then this is only likely to siphon those hours/level spells ie 1st or 2nd level.
Concept is good: Turn buffs into damage on a surprise round. Maybe too good, blinded/paralyzed/dazed might be better options.
Waistband of deadly embraces*some passive voice (embedded vs. are embedded)
**the constrict damage is usually based on the original attack. 1d6 seems fine, but +6 indicates a strength of 20+, I would drop that to +2 or +3. It could also be dropped to +strength modifier, but I think a static number is better for pricing purposes/GM ease.
***entangled is a condition and the rules for casting do not need to be called out. Grappled has similar rules so it will be important to clarify if the target (and the wearer) are grappled. If not grappled does the constrict damage stay around?I like the idea of grappling an opponent and being able to step a way, I have a vague memory of another Top 32 doing this.
I'm taking the 30 min challenge.
The Syphoning Sphere
That sounds like we should get T-shirts :)
*If the gold middle is covered in adamantine mail, would we see it? I guess it matters if the maile is plate, chain, ring, etc...
**does an 8th level spell take longer to absorb two 4th level spells? or If I am buffed with a 9th and a 1st is it nine rounds or 10?
**force damage is unique as it rarely (ever?) allows a save. I might choose some other damage.
***does the target know the spell is being siphoned? can he simply move out of the range? I can see this being no good in combat as it would be too many rounds to fully activate (most common buffs being 3-4 level). Of course with its damage to everyone in the area, its is probably meant only as an ambush/surprise round toy, but then this is only likely to siphon those hours/level spells ie 1st or 2nd level.Concept is good: Turn buffs into damage on a surprise round. Maybe too good, blinded/paralyzed/dazed might be better options.
I guess I should have said it was CHAIN mail :)
It says that ALL spells within the area are absorbed at the same rate when its activated. So all 4 level spells take 4 rounds. The level 8 spell takes 8 rounds. There are no targets per se, but a simple detect magic could uncover that the spell is being siphoned. The caster is a non factor here, only the area spell is. And yes, its meant mostly as a surprise item, but I added the blinding mechanic as a way to cope with that a bit. I thought about making it electricity damage instead of force and with that you can do deal stunned/paralyzed states all around.
On another note, plenty of Europeans? I'm from Serbia, myself.
I live in Bethlehem, in eastern Pennsylvania. I grew up on the New Hampshire seacoast.
Sharing news with one of my favorite Paizo communities... I love you Blazing 9!
On these very boards I declaired my interest in starting my own 3PP. Had fair amount of success freelancing, started my own blog and planned on allot more grind to get to my goal.
As it turns out d20pfsrd was looking for a partner pool of writers to start a publishing wing. I have partners but I've pretty much acheived my dream and in under a year.
I have some organizational details to work out and a pool of freelancers (aside form myself) to keep organized but these are good porblems to have.
There's allot of design potential in this thread, here's an open call because one can never have enough designers.
The deal was a little hush hush but we're coming out with more and more details starting tomorrow. Outside of my circle of writers you guys are hearing it first.
As it turns out d20pfsrd was looking for a partner pool of writers to start a publishing wing. I have partners but I've pretty much acheived my dream and in under a year.
Awesome! Congratulations.
That's very cool GM_Solspiral.
And those freelancers can be a rowdy bunch to organize!
Ok, I have been practicing some creative writing - just practice, not Golarion tied or rules based. Is it okay to post here for Blazing 9 dissection?
This is purely an effort to try and improve my style and visuals, so it is practice aimed at Superstar, just not a Superstar round ( yet ;) ).
If there's no major objections, I'll post up a Chapter or 2 this weekend.
Ok, I have been practicing some creative writing - just practice, not Golarion tied or rules based. Is it okay to post here for Blazing 9 dissection?
This is purely an effort to try and improve my style and visuals, so it is practice aimed at Superstar, just not a Superstar round ( yet ;) ).
If there's no major objections, I'll post up a Chapter or 2 this weekend.
Whole chapters? Anything over a thousand words might be better via email. Anything over 300 might be better spoilered. If you are not already, sign up for Pathfinder Chronicler. It doesn't have to be Golarion to be reviewed.
Thanks GM SolSpiral! and congratulations.
I'd agree with Curaigh, Anthony. I'm not sure this is the best spot for fiction, though I have no objection if you want to post it anyway.
I wouldn't mind. Just try not to overwhelm the thread, please :)
Go for it, Anthony - but as the others have pointed out, use spoilers or even better, a link to a google doc with reader comments enabled.
Ok, pretty nervous about this, 4 full chapters and where I am up to with chapter 5. I also cut my chapter synposis for the remaining chapters out so that I can see what sort of reaction I get to the story thus far without the spoilers. It is very typical fantasy (as that's what I read a lot of) and likely very influenced by David and Leigh Eddings, R. A. Salvatore and J. K. Rowling in places :D
Public share via google doc, with public comments allowed. This is only the first draft, so expect spelling issues, its and it's to be mixed up and so on.
So have at it :)
I'll give it a read :) Probably this week.
From initial thought to posting - 12 miinutes.
Have fun.
Roaring Hailer
Aura faint illusion and universal; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A multitude of animal feathers and fur woven into a blaze of color forms the skin of this conical hailer.
Speaking through the hailer while hiding causes the voice to be emitted as loud roars or squawks of wild animals native to the area. Pointing the hailer at nearby bushes, undergrowth or overhanging branches within 3 feet determines the appropriate sounds to be emitted and causes that vegetation to twitch and sway with the impression that the animal being portrayed is moving close by.
Anyone approaching the hiding spot must make a will save DC 14 or be convinced that dangerous animals lurk nearby and turn away, vacating the area at their best speed and not returning until 5 minutes have passed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound, prestidigitation; Cost 250 gp
OMG! 151 words for me, on a first draft.
I should ask myself what I've done with the real me.
:D
Coming back to it a few hours later - hmm, I should maybe mention using it doesn't break stealth.
Roaring Hailer
*price seems too low, unless this is a consumable. Mechanically a zero level spell would work to about this much, so maybe I am wrong.
**DC for the save seems too high. 10+SL(0) +stat (1). That said a DC 10 item would be virtually useless beyond flavor. So 14 is better. I do not know how to make the two mesh and it would be a good discussion point if anyone wants to share some insight. :)***What's a hailer? I think it is trumpet/sports horn/funnel, but dinnae recognize the term.
12 minutes? Wow! Nice work :)
A hailer is an old english term for what became known as a megaphone. It started with just a cone with a handle - I think you see directors using them in articles and documentaries about the silent movie making days.
I did increase the DC purely for the reasons you stated, I did wonder if this should increase the caster level and/or price/cost but wanted to how quickly I could create a workable item with full template- an exercise in not overthinking I guess.
Roaring Hailer
I like the name and thanks for the explanation of what it is!
"nearby bushes, undergrowth or overhanging branches " OXFORD COMMA!!!! :)
I like this item. The description at the beginning is good, the name is good, and the functionality is just plain cool.
5 minutes might be a bit long and the price is a little low for it to be useable as much as it is. Maybe if it was 30 seconds or 1 minute.
Good work!
... but wanted to how quickly I could create a workable item with full template- an exercise in not overthinking I guess.
That you did, well done. Did you overthink it after you hit submit? did the second guessing start immediately (I hope not, since that is probably where the overthinking comes from anyway :)
... but wanted to how quickly I could create a workable item with full template- an exercise in not overthinking I guess.That you did, well done. Did you overthink it after you hit submit? did the second guessing start immediately (I hope not, since that is probably where the overthinking comes from anyway :)
Actually, the only "over think" came a few hours later when I wondered if I should have said that it doesn't break stealth of a successful hide roll.
Quite a clean item for me, so feeling pleased with it. The only things are duration tweaks really (I did kind of start from - "In the dark woods, I hear a lion roar... will I return in under 5 minutes?" - ummm, hikes up trousers and starts running - nope!
From initial thought to posting - 12 miinutes.
Impressive. Nice item, considering the time spent
Roaring Hailer
Aura faint illusion and universal; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
No major issues here. The "Hailer" thing threw me a a bit too, at first I thought it had something to do with hail-storms.
Description
A multitude of animal feathers and fur woven into a blaze of color forms the skin of this conical hailer.
Nice description, with active voice. Now I get that what kind of hailer we're talking about. Except I connect hailers with sailors like Captain Ahab, and this gives me a distinct jungle wibe. Perhaps whistle or hunting horn had been more appropriate?
Speaking through the hailer while hiding causes the voice to be emitted as loud roars or squawks of wild animals native to the area. Pointing the hailer at nearby bushes, undergrowth or overhanging branches within 3 feet determines the appropriate sounds to be emitted and causes that vegetation to twitch and sway with the impression that the animal being portrayed is moving close by.
Very concise and easy to understand description, a definite improvement to some of your earlier work. Range is a bit short, not even a single square - perhaps you meant 30 ft?
The effects are pretty much SIAC for the spells used.
Anyone approaching the hiding spot must make a will save DC 14 or be convinced that dangerous animals lurk nearby and turn away, vacating the area at their best speed and not returning until 5 minutes have passed.
This is the part of the item that I have the most problems with. It's one thing to be convinced that a specific predator lurks in the bushes, and another to determine that the appropriate reaction is to run away. What about a seasoned hunter, a ranger or a druid? How about a paladin who is immune to fear? Does a fighter add his bravery bonus to the save?
How far do I need to move away before I have vacated the area? Do i have to keep running for the entire 5 minutes?
If you want to force people to run away (in effect giving them the frightened condition), you need a spell that confers some kind of fear effect, IMO, and the item needs to spell out that this is a mind-effecting, sonic fear effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound, prestidigitation; Cost 250 gp
Format seems good, but as already noted, I'm missing something that give a fear effect, like cause fear.
Ahh, I can see the misunderstanding - it is actually 3 feet, in that the bushes around you, the tree branches over you need to be close enough that the sounds emitted by the item cause them to twitch and move, it wasn't intended as a 30 foot range that bush over there thing. I was tryin to keep everything in the vicinity of the hidden.
Yeah, the fear effect - doh! How did I miss that? Lol, ok, I'll spend a bit of spit and polish on it this weekend and see if we can resolve that, it is a very good point.
I think rather than fear, I might look towards compulsion, it gets around the fear immunity and seasoned hunters / favored enemies problems - but is still mind affecting, so might be resisted. Plus with compulsion, it is very much a "you run away for x distance / rounds" after which, you would return to the area seeking your revenge :D
From initial thought to posting - 12 miinutes.
Have fun.
Roaring Hailer
Aura faint illusion and universal; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A multitude of animal feathers and fur woven into a blaze of color forms the skin of this conical hailer.Speaking through the hailer while hiding causes the voice to be emitted as loud roars or squawks of wild animals native to the area. Pointing the hailer at nearby bushes, undergrowth or overhanging branches within 3 feet determines the appropriate sounds to be emitted and causes that vegetation to twitch and sway with the impression that the animal being portrayed is moving close by.
Anyone approaching the hiding spot must make a will save DC 14 or be convinced that dangerous animals lurk nearby and turn away, vacating the area at their best speed and not returning until 5 minutes have passed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound, prestidigitation; Cost 250 gp
Gotta say, I've never seen a hailer item. What does approaching the hiding spot mean? You should have put a fixed number there. Like 30 feet. Also, vacating the area at top speed seems a bit too much like panicked to me (save for the dropping items), and you should never go straight for the panicked state, unless its something truly horrifying, and these are forest animals at the worst. And as Jacob noted, many can be immune to fear or used to dealing with the local fauna.
The description is a bit short, but does the item justice, I think.
Ahh, I can see the misunderstanding - it is actually 3 feet, in that the bushes around you, the tree branches over you need to be close enough that the sounds emitted by the item cause them to twitch and move, it wasn't intended as a 30 foot range that bush over there thing. I was tryin to keep everything in the vicinity of the hidden.
Yeah, the fear effect - doh! How did I miss that? Lol, ok, I'll spend a bit of spit and polish on it this weekend and see if we can resolve that, it is a very good point.
I think rather than fear, I might look towards compulsion, it gets around the fear immunity and seasoned hunters / favored enemies problems - but is still mind affecting, so might be resisted. Plus with compulsion, it is very much a "you run away for x distance / rounds" after which, you would return to the area seeking your revenge :D
For compulsion, a spell like suggestion or command might be worth looking at.
Exactly what I was thinking :) -
Looks up...
You have one of the Tags I want!
Flash of realization later...
"Ooooo, thinking like a prior winner!"
So, how are peeps preparations going - we could be just 4 weeks or so from kick off! I have one bedded down entry and have just circulated potential idea number 2 for initial feedback.
If number 2 is received like number 1, it's going to be a gutsy choice between them on submission day for me >.<
I still have my main idea circulating around my head but not much time has been devoted to it. I'm probably going to do a rough draft in a couple weeks or when the contest is announced.
Trying to make it so I don't overwork the item round and fizzle out (if I got chosen) in a successive round because I had large amounts of time to devote to the item. I've also been busy with some other projects as well.