Making a fun list


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion


I can't remember which paladin thread it was but a couple of humorous Alignments were stated and it made me think that I'd love to see a list and maybe even a whole work up of "alternate" humorous alignments.

Lawful Stupid (Lawful Good) is the one I was most familiar with.

Chaotic Convenient (Chaotic Neutral) was new to me and I got a good laugh.

Does anybody have anymore?

Sovereign Court

Neurotic Neutral (that old-skool druid style neutrality where you had to do evil if there was too much good, chaos if too much law, and vice versa). As opposed to the modern "eh, just don't exaggerate into any direction" neutrality.

Lawyer Evil: that stuff Asmodeus clerics do. Not so raving evil that you have to hunt them down; in fact it can work in parties, as long as you make sure to read the fine print on the contract.


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I love Lawyer Evil, especially since I work with lawyers and a majority of them fit the description.

It reminds me of a friend's old saying that D&D only had two evil Alignments: Lawful Evil, otherwise known as Paul Reiser Evil ( his character Burke from Aliens ) and Chaotic Evil otherwise known as Aliens Evil.

" It was a bad call, Ripley, a bad call..."

Sovereign Court

Lawyer Evil is interesting because it does actually let you play an evil PC who is still a functional party member.

"If it's not against the rules, it's not WRONG. If they didn't want me to do that, they should have put that in the rules."

You can make deals with those people, like "we try it the nice way first".

Silver Crusade

True Chaotic (aka Chaotic Stupid) happens in a lot of my groups--the character that only does what is unexpected. i.e. "You have been invited to the princess's royal gala, everyone is dressed in their best outfits and sipping wines. The princess comes up to you and--" "I slap her on the ass!" "...You what now?" Also goes with characters that are just insane--such as one character a campaign I played in that every day rolled dice for what alignment he portrayed, and deity worshipped.

Chaotic Lawful--the character (or player) that meticulously plans out what kind of "random" responses they would have in certain situations.

Trolling Evil--the character that does things for the sole purpose of making things more difficult for the rest of the party (or the DM).

Confused/Bipolar _____--Generally, players who forget what their character's alignment is, acting opposite to it until reminded, at which point their character does a 180.
Example: The CN Half-orc Barbarian with 8 in all mental ability scores gets into a lengthy philosophical discussion with the Sheriff about what probably caused the criminal they just caught to do what he did and how he could atone for his crimes.
Sheriff: "Wow, you're quite insightful for a jungle tribesman. And...knowledgable about the process of law enforcement."
Barbarian: "...uh...WRROOOAAAR!! ME ANGRY!" *smashes window*

Sczarni

Bonnie Nuetral - As long as the PCs are winning, the cleric doesn't have to lift a finger. Even if one dies, and they killed three or four monsters, the only fair thing to do would be to raise everyone, not just the players. The player just hates dead things, that is why they are a cleric after all.

(this is named after a dear old friend of mine who DID DO THIS SORT OF THING constantly for all the years I knew her)
(the phrase "Jesus Christ Bonnie! Not AGAIN!" comes to mind)


I've run across Neutral Princess a few times--a player who doesn't care about what's going on around her or why as long as she looks pretty and gets lots of attention.


Trolling Evil...I hate that alignment. Luckily, I've had no experience with Princess Neutral.


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There was an article called 'Front End Alignments' in dragon magazine a long long time ago where most of the most well known ones originate from... There were 19 of them.
Heavily paraphrased but here's pretty much what they were...

  • Chaotic Crybaby (CC): If something doesn't go their way, they will scream/yell/whine. Missed saving throws, small amounts of experience points or treasure, character injury, having insufficient strength to break down a door, and pretty much anything else.
  • Chaotic Diehard (CD): Its pretty much doesnt matter if this guy is running a powerful character or even if he's particularly good at gaming or tactics... Its just that the damn dice seem to LOVE this guy.
  • Chaotic Everywhere (CEv): Tries to be everywhere and do everything at once. First person in a room when treasure is discovered and the first out of a room when the crap hits the fan.
  • Chaotic Hot-Shot (CHS): Kind of like Topper from Dilbert. Always has a story one better than the last one that was told.
  • Chaotic Stupid (CSt): Where Lawful Idiots simply make bad mistakes, Chaotic Stupids have been known to actively seek out idiotic things to do. Leeroy Jenkins.
  • Chaotic Suicidal (CSu): Gets tired of his own characters frequently so becomes obsessed with killing himself off.
  • Lawful Bored (LB): Not very vocal. Might be excellent players or have good ideas, but never presents them because (from their viewpoint) the rest of the group talks too much or argues all the time. Just sits in a chair and listens to other people argue.
  • Lawful Goody-Goody (LGG): Plays very nice and never does mean or nasty (i.e., "fun"). They are also the "Champions of Justice",rescuing anyone in need, saving fair maidens, and giving alms to the church or to the poor. Plays paladins to the hilt and has a hard time not playing paladin even if his character class is something else.
  • Lawful Idiot (LId): Unlike Chaotic Stupid, this brand of stupid has a purpose... Like telling the owner of a gambling house in front of the patrons that his games are fixed. The difference being that the Lawful Idiot is acting in the interests of the law but puts himself or the group in harms way by doing the right thing without regard to tactics or safety or common sense.
  • Lawful Ignored (LIg): Always in the back of the group and don't do much. If a serious problem comes up, they'll rise to the occasion and can be counted on to pull through and help the rest of the group. When not directly involved in the action, they find ways to distract themselves with angry birds or text messaging or web browsing until they are called in to handle their 'niche' once again.
  • Lawful Liar (LL): It's not that their character lies... Its that they're constantly playing out of alignment or out of class, doing things that that particular alignment or class would never do.
  • Lawful Serious (LS): Everyone's favorit gamer. Knows the rules, loves the rules. Loves the game, loves chewing bubblegum (having fun) and kicking a$$ (getting stuff done). He's always well versed, insightful, focused on the task, and is able to get the table back on task. Makes the GMs job easy because just having them at the table means things are focused, fun, and full throttle.
  • Neutral Absent (NA): Always unable to attend the session, but always wants his cut of experience and treasure. Known for calling up a DM and asking to have their character run as an NPC. Might even call in during the game for updates on what's happening in the campaign he couldnt bother to work his schedule around. He says he's sure he'll be able to make it next week. Promise...
  • Neutral Confused (NC): Not really dialed in to whats happening at the table. Might be left in a room, oblivious that the party has moved on, or repeats actions that other party members have already done.
  • Neutral Dietosser (ND): Have a metric ton of dice but never roll well with any of them. They then get very upset with his dice and start tossing dice over their shoulder, across the room, hard enough to where they always fly off the table, or even at other people.
  • Neutral Montyhaul (NM): What is now known either as an optimizer or powergamer. Not happy without having the pinnacle of gear or the pinnacle of stats or the pinnacle of something. Must be or have far and away the best or the most of something or other.
  • Neutral Puppet (NP): Cannot think for themselves. Always follow someone else around and never undertake anything of their own volition. Might be helpful when prompted, but clearly just along for the ride.
  • Neutral Self-Centered (NSC): The opposite of the puppet. Expects everyone else to act in accordance with his own plans and will grind the game to a halt if someone tries to do something that isnt on their personal agenda.
  • Neutral Woundwailer (NW): Under no circumstances should their character ever take any damage whatsoever... A powerful force field should protect him from harm at all times. If nailed for even one point of damage, the tirade begins. Ironically their build is typically the one with the best armor class and the highest hit points, but prefers staying in the back of the party anyway so everyone else get beaten up first.


Vincent Takeda wrote:
•Neutral Woundwailer (NW): Under no circumstances should their character ever take any damage whatsoever... A powerful force field should protect him from harm at all times. If nailed for even one point of damage, the tirade begins. Ironically their build is typically the one with the best armor class and the highest hit points, but prefers staying in the back of the party anyway so everyone else get beaten up first.

Ohh, I've seen this one. A group of 7th-level characters, this archer character takes a single hit (which he argues about, because he's standing back from the fight and should therefore be off-limits to attack), and spends the rest of the day wailing about how they need to stop and rest so he can recover his 2 HP.

The party cleric refused to waste a Cure spell on such a trivial injury, and the guy never stopped howling about how close to death he was (38/40). "We sneak around the sleeping chamber." "Assuming the constant dripping of MY BLOOD on the floor doesn't wake them, yeah."


CS: Chaotic Silly - You're never quite sure what this guy is going to do next. He isn't going to something stupid like slap the Princess on her ass, but he just might ask her to dance. He gets himself hired to prepare a feast for the local War Gods fancy dinner, and adds Dissension's Feast to the party. His next level, who knows, he certainly doesn't.

Silver Crusade

Love Chaotic Silly. Half of my own characters...

One for the NPCs!

Cartoon Evil: The villain whose only motivation seems to be some cliche that shouldn't really benefit them, such as "to spread pain and misery!" or "to destroy all love in the universe!" ...like most of the evil gods.

Sczarni

Neutral Warmind(NW): This character was born to engage in combat and little else. His weapon of choice may be bow, blade, or spell, but he will devote himself completely to wiping out his enemies with it. Outside of combat, he has no motivation or drive to do anything but polish his armor, re-string his quiver, and wait for the next opportunity to fight.

Oddly, Neutral Warmind characters are rarely overly aggressive. They do not provoke violence in socially unacceptable situations, and rarely attack people or creatures who seem peaceful, though if a potential enemy turns out to be peaceful they will often express their frustration vocally and complain about having to re-sheathe their weapons. If anything, they are categorized not by a love of fighting but by an extreme apathy towards any other activity.


I'm surprised no one put in lawful anal. I have a character that does everything for the sole purpose of pissing everyone in the game off yet is by the book so they can't do anything about it!!! It's too much fun!!!


Yes. I forget where I got the phrase from, but I distinctly remember a dragon magazine article using the phrase "Doesn't tilt at windmills because windmills don't bleed'


Fun list indeed. Let's add some moar. (And yes, I know I spelled the word more wrong. Why? Because I can, and this is exactly what I'm talking about.)

Chaotic Ambitionist: A character that does whatever they want and give the most ridiculous reasons for their actions.

e.g.

Player [as a Catfolk Character]: I chase my tail as a full-round action.
GM: You're in the middle of combat with a guy who's just about to decapitate your fellow party member. Why on earth would you do that?
Player: Because I can.

Evil Dieroller: A character (or most likely a GM) that constantly receives rolls of Natural 20's and Natural 1's [or the highest and lowest numerical outcomes possible], leaving the results of the game in their favor.

Lawful Rulesnazi: A character or GM who uses nothing but the book to dictate rules. If it's not in the book, we don't use it.

Double Good: A character who has an unusual obsession with the concept of good [Goodception?], and does nothing but devote every second of his life to it.


I'm totally Chaotic Diehard when it comes to rolling hitpoints, which we always do with the whole group watching. It's just insane, and it's also why I don't play with rolled characters any more. (Did it once, and I was way overpowerd.)
Chaotic Cluefinder The guy that act like an idiot most of the time, doing totally radom stuff and then, out of nowhere unravels half of the plot form a very tiny clue with way to little back-up. (I have I guy like that, it's almost as if he read the dungeon,but he couldn't have because I didn't write it down yet.)
Chaotic coincidence, not chaotic at all most of the time following the law and all, until the moment they find-out she is doing something illigal or it would be very usefull to do something illigal, than it's Oh, but I'm chaotic! Half an hour ago I was against stealing, but I don't care about the law!

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