GoatToucher's Rump Ointment is, ironically, highly toxic to goats.
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Pulg planned on attending the Justin Beiber Roast until he realized the "roasting" was telling mean-spirited jokes and not actually roasting Beiber.
KahnyaGnorc is still upset over Zayne leaving 1D.
GoatToucher is the reason Zayne left 1D.
GT is not changing his name to ZayneToucher.
KahnyaGnorc is really Kevin Spacey in disguise. Or is Kevin Spacey KahnyaGnorc in disguise?
Uncle Teddy once owned a ring of darkvision. Or was it dorkvision?
Molten Dragon has permanent DorkVision™.
Goddity never had any cookies.
Amasu is Goddity's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Uncle Teddy knows this because of what he learned while he studying under GT.
Goddity is actually very famous, that's what the mask is for.
Who's Little Skylark again? I know so little about them I can't even make up something false.
Who are you? I don't know anything about you either, just make something up. Like:
Rashly5 doesn't know who anyone is, he can only recognize faces of other red pandas
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KahnyaGnorc actualy has a stutter and sometimes takes half an hour to pronouns his name.
Little Skylark has a fascination with small shiny buttons. But only if they adorn otherwise ridiculous formal wear.
Amasu likes onion dressing. That is to say, they like dressing onions in ridiculous outfits.
Rashly5 Thinks onions taste better when they're dressed.
Little Skylark enjoys mentally undressing onions.
Pulg was once mentally undressed by an onion, it was awkward.
IHIYC wrote the aforementioned scathing article in the onion. Except, he wrote it in an actual onion.
Goddity used to write for The Onion but was fired when it was discovered all of his fake news stories were actual real news.
Uncle Teddy eats onions all of the time.
Goddity once ate a hammer, stating afterward that it was "the worst Kielbasa I ever tasted!"
GoatToucher has had a worse Kielbasa than that hammer.
IHIYC once danced the macarana so well that he caused a rift in the space time continuum. Agents from the future came back and editted the event with a well placed banana peel. IHIYC was so embarrassed by the resulting fall that he took to hiding in closets to hide from his shame.
Amasu knows that because she was his dance partner.
Belphegor is your Private Dancer
Dancer for money
Does what you want him to do.
He's your Private Dancer
Dancer for money
Any old music will do.
If Belphegor had GoatToucher's kielbasa, he'd basa in the morning
He'd basa in the evening
All over GoatToucher's kiel.
KahnyaGnorc wants to wiener your schnitzel
Pulg doesn't know what any of the words mean and just wants to join in.
Once IHIYC takes over a closet he uses it to store all of his freshly cut lupins. It is on this fragrant mound that he sleeps and dreams of the next closet he will call home.
Molten Dragon can dance if he wants to. He can leave his friends behind. Because his friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine.
(S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y...)
IHIYC once stood amongst the noise and confusion
Seeing GoatToucher's [redacted] protrusions
He was sore
ing ever higher
Fetch the oil and rusty pliers!
CARRY ON MY WAYWARD CLOWN, etc etc