False factoids


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Dark Archive

Groetus is were the universe and the goods came from all hail lord of the end times and beginning of the universe.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

lord of rabbits is really the Duke of Ducks in disguise (seems it's duck season)


Uncle Teddy's trying to contact Major Tom.


Kahnya is jamming Uncle Ted's signal.


Goddity is Major Tom in disguise.


GW is composed primarily of black coffee and dust.

Scarab Sages

GoatToucher flosses his ears nightly.


IHIYC is able to unhinge his lower jaw and swallow small cars whole.


GW taught IHIYC that.


KahnyaGnorc has no jaw but a long tongue like an anteater.

Dark Archive

Molten Dragon is actually 27 feet tall and has 13 eyes in a figure eight around his left buttcheek!

Scarab Sages

genesisknight can fire tiny photon torpedoes from his ears.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

IHIYC is really just another form of Zeiram.


If you remove Uncle Teddy's helmet, you will find only a bare skull and a rubber smile.


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If you look up GoatToucher's nose, you will see two very much smaller GoatTouchers staring back at you.


Pulg is the bringer of the Alpacalypse - it's like the Apocalypse but involves the Four Alpacas instead of the Four Horsemen.


GW will be dead in ten minutes.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

GT was touched by an angel once.


UT has been counselling the angel that GoatToucher touched back.


Pulg knows both angels, but neither angel acknowledges Pulg.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

KahnyaGnorc has the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, and the Spear of Destiny in a box in their garage.


UT lives in KG's garage.


Amasu constantly tries to make anything we say in this thread to describe Amasu true.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Goddity was a stunt double for Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Jackie Chan.


The only magazine Uncle Teddy reads is Women's Home Journal.


Kat's Eye is married to a euphonium called Lady Clara.


Pulg once ate a mule while watching a 1998 Bears/Packers game.


GoatToucher is actually an ancient Incan fertility god.


Grandpa Wonderbra is the legendary hero who danced on his huotapcaptlalacaptupuplulpu for 999 days and nights in order to bring the secret of gherkins back from the Otherworld.

Scarab Sages

Pulg can remove wallpaper by slamming his face against it.


IHIYC is actually sitting on your couch, drinking your beer, and watching PPV on your dime, not hiding in your closet.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc is a devout, and very naïve, Muslim who thinks beer is some kind of rare element from the Jovian planets.


IHIYC is the secret leader of the Cult of Joker.


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Schism has a North Korean blow-up love doll called Juche Lucy.


Pulg IS actually a blow-up love doll, but was made by aliens who didn't know what Earthling beauty was.


What KahnyaGnorc's got, he's gonna get it, put it in you.


Why does GT wanna keep it like a kaiser?

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc is a Prussian aristocrat with a giant fancy moustache, so naturally, they have a vested interest in keeping it like the Kaiser.


IHIYC thinks that you can survive anything by hiding in a closet, and may be in trouble if we ever let him get near the nuclear testing range...

Scarab Sages

Goddity got lost in C-space once, but they just thought they were in downtown Honolulu.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

IHIYC is the original screenwriter of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.


Uncle Teddy was the main creative director for such popular titles as "Real Bucks in Action: Animal Season" and "Bears and Cougars: Wild Footage Never Before Released".


Rashly5 is the author behind the wildly successful book "Are you there, Demogorgon? It's me, Rashly5."


Molten Dragon is a shortened version of his real name: Moldynarius Dragonandonandon.


Shere Khan wuvs his tummy rubs! Ohyeshedoes! Ohyeshedoes! Who's a fuzzy wickle thing then?!


Pulg originally mistook Shere Khan's name as Shear Khan. Hilarity ensued.


KahnyaGnorc is actually two different people, one called Kahnya and one called Gnorc.

Scarab Sages

Goddity once rolled an entire 10-meter Katamari!


IHIYC was the core of Goddity's Katamari


If you break GW's concentration, even for a moment, he will turn into a pile of dust and old people smell.

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