Developer
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
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Gloves of Flame Command
Aura faint abjuration and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 6,000 gp; Weight —
Description
Patterns of leaping flames adorn this pair of heavy leather blacksmith’s gloves. The wearer of the gloves activates their power as a standard action by clenching a single fist, allowing the wearer to control magical fire.
Upon activation, the wearer specifies a single non-instantaneous spell with the fire descriptor within 50 feet and makes a caster level check (using the gloves’ caster level of 5) against the spell (DC 11 + the spell’s caster level). Success indicates that the wearer is now considered the caster of that spell and may immediately make or change any decisions about the effect normally made when casting the spell, such as its targets or area. For example, summoned fire creatures are now under the control of the wearer, personal range spells now target the wearer, and the wearer could move a spell such as wall of fire to occupy a new area or reverse its direction. The spell’s caster level and remaining duration do not change. A permanent spell is affected for 5 minutes and then returns to its original state. Failure indicates that the spell’s effects are merely suppressed for one round.
A brand-new pair of gloves of flame command holds 10 charges. Each activation expends a single charge. Each additional charge spent per activation adds a +4 bonus to the caster level check. These charges must be spent before making the check. Once the charges are depleted, the gloves smolder and crumble to ash.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dispel magic, pyrotechnics; Cost 3,000 gp
Contributor; Publisher, Kobold Press; RPG Superstar Judge
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Wow, taking over control of summoned creatures and spell effects is very, very cool. Possibly even too cool.
Even limited to fire spells, this item seems seriously undercosted. It gets better the higher level your foes are, and it hijacks their power against them. That notably stronger than dispel magic.
It needs work, but the idea and part of the execution show a lot of promise.
There are really two things going on here.
One is taking over the "ownership" of a fire effect. That's fine.
Two is being able to move existing effects as if you had just cast them (like repositioning the wall of fire). That's... significantly more power. And I don't think 600 gp per charge is enough for that.
Generic name hides really cool item. I agree with both of you. This thing has issues, but this is the kind of spark I want to see in a contestant's item.
Contributor
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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Welcome to the Top 32, Mike!
So, yeah, druids who love to cast flaming sphere will hate these gloves. I kinda disagree with Clark about the name--the gloves do exactly what the name says, and I don't think you can dress the name up without it sounding ostentatious. I do agree with the judges about the gloves being undercosted. You'll just have to be a little more careful when you consider your design's impacts on the game in future rounds. Keep it up with the great concepts, though.
Best of luck to you for the rest of the contest!
Seize control of someone else's fire is quite cinematic. I like it. I think you've covered most of your bases on how it works. The only example of an issue I can come up with is the Elemental Wall ability of the evocation school. I assume the wizard would still get to choose whether the wall remains rather than the wearer of the gloves. Great work.
First of all, congratulations on making the Top 32! That in itself is a major accomplishment and it’s something you should take great pride in. You rock!
This is a solid item that provides a very cinematic effect. I'm totally on board with the stealing of a fire spell effect (and summoned fire creatures) ability, but I'm not so sure I'm with you on the whole moving fire effects around on the battlefield part. That's a little much for the item's relatively cheap cost. I'd stick with the spell stealing ... and maybe even change it so you can steal a fire spell as an immediate action as it is being cast, like dispel magic's counterspell effect, but you take over the casting of the spell instead. That said, I appreciate the thought and design mojo that went into this item. Best of luck to you!
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Cinematic. Great comment, guys. That really is the heart of this thing--I can really see the effects in play and that is the kind of thing that gets me excited. Maybe this is a good item to use as an example for next year's design class. I'll have to go back and check but I think you guys put your finger on one of the things that subconsciously motivates me to find an item is Superstar--that is, if it is cinematic. Great comment from you, Steve and Tom! Superstar guest judges FTW!
These were the fire item I was hoping would make it. It was very creative and as has been mentioned, cinematic.
I had questions, such as can you use all 10 charges in 10 rounds and sustain 10 different spells (if you're fighting a Fire Slinging/Summoning BBEG)? I feel like a concentration check is in order for each additional spell or summon.
Price, is of course, a concern.
Other than that, congrats and I hope the creativity shows in your Round 2!
Welcome to the competition, Mike! I remember championing one of your earlier submissions from prior years, but it didn't quite make the cut. You seem to have a knack for thinking in very cinematic terms with your ideas and I really do think that's the mark of a Superstar. So, muster your mojo and tighten down your execution from here on out. You've got a great opportunity to take this as far as you can. Best of luck in the future rounds. I'll be watching your next few designs with great interest.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
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Wow! So exciting! A big thanks to everyone who liked my item and to the judges for their feedback and for making this possible. Glad to be in the top 32 this year! I will be back later to answer any questions and respond to whatever feedback you may have. Thanks again!
FYI to the web folks: the link to my item says "glose" instead of gloves. Just on the main RPGSS page. It seems to be correct in other places, like the blog announcement.
Back to work on round 2...
This item immediately brought to mind images of the Last Airbender movie, but it's got enough of its own identity to stand apart. If I was a PC I'd definitely want some.
This item makes me very happy. Very happy indeed. >=D
I like the idea of taking control of opponent spell effects, but some of the described abilities (like moving a wall of flame) don't really make sense. Taking control of another's spell shouldn't allow you to do something with that spell that the original caster couldn't. The multiple charges/multiple functions for each charge functionality is unnecessarily convoluted, and I feel like this item kinda struggles under that complexity.
This item is pretty powerful for its cost, but the imagery is top-notch.
Congratulations on making it to the top 32. I'll see you in the archetype round!
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Cinematics are my primary criterion for whether and item, spell or ability is cool. If an item has a boring effect, its tightness doesn't mean much. Your item has strong cinema to compensate for some design weaknesses: bad costing, and ignoring that there's a feat for seizing control over summoned monsters - which seems a natural prerequisite. I like it, and I think I even voted for it once or twice. But the visual is definitely making up for the troubling balance issues, and you'll have to bring your A-game in the archetype round where balancing the tradeoff of abilities is a major factor.
Congratulations and good luck in round 2!
Congratulations on getting through. I remember seeing this item.
I agree with the comments on costing as it was one of two reasons I didn't vote for this myself. The other reason was the Construction Requirements and specifically 'Dispel Magic'. I couldn't see how Dispel Magic fitted into the mechanics of the item, even allowing for some flexibility or clever interpretation.
Its not something unique to this item - it was something I came across quite a few times but I was wondering what your rationale was for choosing this spell?
I always wanted to make an item along these lines. This interpretation is nice, and I would actually like to playetest it las written. How often would you really get to use this? As long as you must make a "dispel" check to make it work, I felt that was enough. I would probably increase the price tag slightly though.
The Good: Formatting is spot on, like the description of the item and that it goes away when used up, adds some balance. Perequisits make allot of sense, there's a cool factor for sure, and I like the mechanic of sacrificing more charges to enhance the effect.
The Bad: Unclear to me if this effects spells with fire descriptor only or fire effects. For example Admixture wizard changes his fireball to acid, this still do something? Waht happens if you actvate this with your standard action and no one casts a spell with the fire descriptor?
The Ugly: Pricing. For 6k I can screw over most blaster casters at least once almost for certain and in a way that may very well be deadly for said caster. In my opinion this is OP sorry but this is honest feedback, I just can't drink the kool-aid on the item.
That said: the judges see you as a designer with potential, this is more than any of us standing on the outside looking in can say. The public gave you more up than down votes and there is a serious cool factor here. Congrats on top 32.
Interesting concept, but WAY under-priced for what it can do. Good grammar and formatting, nice mix of flavor and crunch.
I agree with James Olchak about the charge system - it feels clunky on this item. I think a per diem usage limit would work just as well and be less confusing, especially because a lot of similar items are structured so that absorbing an effect grants them a charge.
Editing nitpick: If you reference a spell such as wall of fire in your description, that spell name needs to be italicized.
Congratulation Mike!
Firebending for the win! very cool. We had airbending gauntlets in the first or second year, leaving Toph and Kitara as unexplored areas.
I think the caster level ruins this item. I think the caster level balances the cost though. Not many high level spells will get through that check, making this a low level item. I would have rather seen a limit on spells that could be effected, but understand it did need some kind of check. Moving a wall, stealing an elder elemental are in the realms of possible with these gloves. Still these gloves are really cool.
Advice for R2: explore ways your creation can be abused/broken by that player.
Congratulations and good luck!
Congratulations on making the Top 32!
I agree with what everyone's been saying about the "cinematic" feel here. With the right DM, I could see this leading to some really cool moments in game. The sort we all like to talk about for years after the game is over. My concern, like people have mentioned, is the potential for abuse. It's a fine line to walk... You want to give players the opportunity for an Epic Win and to outsmart the GM without introducing game breaking mechanics. I don't think this quite went there, but it could have.
Good luck next round and I can't wait to see what you submit!
Mike, congratulations on making it through!
Your item really does feel wondrous and cinematic - which is awesome - and though it does seem a little underpriced at first glance, I think that's okay, because it's got a really low caster level unless you burn (ha, I pun) more charges to overpower the spell - sometimes you might need to spend three or four charges to grab hold of a single spell, and then it's several thousand gp, which is a good price point.
I didn't vote on this because to me it was a player item, I know if I was GMing and threw these against my players it would get ugly...especially if I used all 10 charges so they didn't get them...
Congrats on making Top32!
I really like the description of these gloves. I also like the idea of moving fire spells around. I think that is where this entry gets it mojo.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
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Thank you everyone for your comments and questions! I am very glad that many of you like the gloves of flame command and I am appreciative of all of your comments; it's feedback like this that helps us all become better designers.
Here are my thoughts on some of your comments and questions:
I kinda disagree with Clark about the name--the gloves do exactly what the name says, and I don't think you can dress the name up without it sounding ostentatious.
Thanks Mike! You should have seen the list of names I came up with. I decided to go with the one that spells out exactly what the item does rather than one of the more flamboyant ones. "Gloves of pyromantic power," that kind of thing.
...cinematic...
Like many of my ideas for RPG stuff (items, characters, encounters) this one came to me as a mental image before anything else. I'm glad I was able to convey that image through the item write-up!
I couldn't see how Dispel Magic fitted into the mechanics of the item, even allowing for some flexibility or clever interpretation.
My thought here was that dispel magic would sort of "sever" the original caster's connection to the spell. Also, the mechanic of the item works like a dispel check. I could have used arcana theft from Ultimate Magic, and I almost did, but it's only a magus spell and also has a reach of touch, so I went with dispel magic in the end. If I were to make a new version (see below) with a higher caster level, I might reconsider arcana theft.
Unclear to me if this effects spells with fire descriptor only or fire effects. For example Admixture wizard changes his fireball to acid, this still do something? Waht happens if you actvate this with your standard action and no one casts a spell with the fire descriptor?
It only affects non-instantaneous spells with the fire descriptor, as stated in the item description. You use the gloves after a spell has already been cast and is currently in effect, not before someone casts a fire spell. Hope that clarifies things! My alpha version of the item actually could also control non-magical fire, but it was way too complicated and well over 300 words, so I focused the item to just control fire spells.
...stuff about pricing and balance...
I'll admit that I miscalculated here. My thought was that, because it is possible to simply fail the caster level check and "waste" charges, it shouldn't be priced too high. At 6,000 gp this item wouldn't show up at low levels. More like somewhere around level 10, when enemy casters will be high enough level to set the "dispel" DC somewhere around 20+, meaning you basically have to use multiple charges up to control a spell. RonarsCorruption basically summarized my logic for the item's price in the post above. :)
I think if I were to re-write this I would reduce the number of charges to 5 instead of 10. This makes it less possible to just blow a whole bunch of charges; you could still use it that way, but that would be a fairly expensive one-use consumable at 1,200 gp per charge!
Alternatively, I would do as suggested above and make it a 1/day use item at a higher caster level (say 7 or so) and higher market price, say 12,000 or 15,000 gp. Something like that. I have to admit to being partial to charges, though; they make it so you have to think a bit more strategically and weigh the costs vs. benefits and risk of failure when you use the item.
Thank you again for your awesome feedback! I look forward to getting further comments on the gloves of flame command and my archetype entry as well.
Until next time- may your meddling with mighty magics be most memorable.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
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Welcome to the competition, Mike! I remember championing one of your earlier submissions from prior years, but it didn't quite make the cut. You seem to have a knack for thinking in very cinematic terms with your ideas and I really do think that's the mark of a Superstar. So, muster your mojo and tighten down your execution from here on out. You've got a great opportunity to take this as far as you can. Best of luck in the future rounds. I'll be watching your next few designs with great interest.
Neil - I just wanted to say "thanks" to you specifically for your support of my alternate item and archetype back in 2011. Knowing that I "almost made it" has kept my motivation high. I'll do my best to rise to the challenge this year!
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RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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You had me until the moving effects that normally can't be moved. Even the personal spells that swap to the user is a bit much. I'd be fine with limiting the item to decisions like dismissing them, controling a flaming sphere or summoned fire creature, and even reversing the direction on a wall of fire (though maybe not since that's not something a caster can do), but moving an effect entirely is a whole new ball game. That's a power worth a whole separate item - and combining that with the already cool power of taking over someone else's spells is a bit much - actually a LOT too much considering the price.
Cool ideas though, just think you put a bit too much into one single item, even at a higher price.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Mike, Congratulations on making it to the next level. I think the positives and the negatives have all been covered, so I'll just add my appreciation of the imagery evoked by your item. Good luck with the rest of the competition.
As prior entries will tell you, Template Fu is one mean point eating machine, but will also praise where praise is due.
These reviews being this in depth usually take me a while to do and they get fitted in around other demands on my time, so please bear with me if I haven’t gotten to your item yet. I will get there in the end.
Review Caveat: I try to keep things totally dispassionate and all comments herein are my own. Having not made the illustrious levels that you have achieved this year, I can only caveat that anything I propose in feedback may not be totally in line with what Paizo thinks or needs of its freelance game designers, so do consider carefully any and all feedback I make under this light.
I start your review with…
Congratulations on being selected by the public at large and then the stalwart judges!
Review Breakdown:
Template: 5/5
Perfect template use, emdash for weight, not making the comma between spells italic. Execellent! Very well done. Template Fu doffs his hat to you.
Spelling: 5/5
This bit IS boilerplate to avoid confusion. Everyone should know to use US English, so you just know that I am going to eat points for stray ‘u’ letters and similar.
Template Fu continues with his marathon watch of Heroes in his den, let’s not disturb him…
Readability: 4/5
These are readings you can get from most spelling and grammar check options in word processors, for this, I am pasting everyone’s description into Word for consistency. My grading’s are purely my own personal feelings for target scores but it should be noted these are very helpful during development to spot problems in your writing, especially passivity.
Passive Sentences 38% (-1pt, you should get this lower)
There are whole threads on this and it is possible to get 0%, which is wicked, but I would expect scores of less than 20% to be around the ideal mark for item descriptions (sometimes, you need the passive, but only rarely).
Flesch Reading Ease 56.7 (acceptable, working on passiveness will help with clarity)
(0-30 best understood by university graduates, 60-70 easily understood by 13-15 year olds, 90-100 easily understood by 11 year olds)
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 9.9 (close but not high enough to warrant a point loss)
(This equates to the grades found in the US schooling system, e,g. 8.2 means it should be understandable by the average 8th grade student)
Me as a Designer Review: 4/5
Ok, there are a few passive sentences as indicated by the word processor reading. I look at the intro to your item and my fingers twitch, wanting to rework both sentences to a single sentence. Let us get away from wearer when we can, it’s yuk.
In fact, you get tied up in the small details like me (and I so expect the Blazing 9 bodies to come in singing in typical Henry Higgins manner… “By Jove, I think he’s got it!” >.<), but here goes…
Take that second sentence of intro. We don’t need to know that the activation of the gloves is by clenching to a fist – it raises issues with “what if I grasp a weapon with a small handle or hold a pebble in my grasped hands – would that activate it”, so let’s remove that possibility.
As I have said elsewhere, any item requiring activation defaults to a standard action, so we don’t need to say that either. Hmmm, so what am I left with… “allowing the wearer to control magical fire”. Bingo! That’s the whole crux of that second sentence and is all we really need.
Next paragraph, we already know it’s an activated effect, so we may be able to rework the sentence to drop those first two words? Then I hit the bit about what is actually happening, and I realize that I am not so much affecting magical fire, but affecting the casting of non instantaneous spells of the fire sub type. This jars with the description but isn’t a fatal mismatch. Something to watch for though, when you have finished your power descriptions, and reviewed them mightily, go back and check your description is still apt.
I worry the price might be a little high for what is effectively a limited charge consumable – I think had you placed instead some sort of recharge mechanic, say working at a forge for a day recharges the gloves by one charge, or something role play like that, would have sorted this minor niggle. As the judges say, I query the price but it’s not very wrong either.
I think that overall, all of the above add up to a single point docking, as neither are a full point on their own. This I think is the tightest design with the most immaculate template use I have seen thus far. You should be very proud of this entry indeed.
Overall Impression: 5/5
I really fought to find things that might add a touch more polish to an already extremely well executed item. Well done indeed.
I certainly look forward to your archetype with great expectation!
Final Score: 23/25
I won’t give a final score comment as I haven’t for anyone else as I work through the items.
If this interests for personal reasons, please feel free to check out everyone else’s scores and at the same time check out your competition and their feedback too!
Closing, as I started…
Congratulations on being selected!
Cool ideas though, just think you put a bit too much into one single item, even at a higher price.Interesting concept, but WAY under-priced for what it can do. Good grammar and formatting, nice mix of flavor and crunch.
I agree with James Olchak about the charge system - it feels clunky on this item. I think a per diem usage limit would work just as well and be less confusing, especially because Krunker io a lot of similar items are structured so that absorbing an effect grants them a charge.
Editing nitpick: If you reference a spell such as wall of fire in your description, that spell name needs to be italicized.
Nice, I`m agree with you