Not precisely stupid but very funny:
Scream "We don't want to attack you!" And accidentally kill one of the targets in one blow with a critical dealing maximal damage..
Oh, and trying to talk a half deamon (in disguise) in to joining the clerics LG chruch.
|
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
A friend of mine had a good one. We were stopped by a green dragon demanding magical items as payment for crossing his forest. A very large dragon for very low-level PCs. One of our party members went up to the dragon as if to offer payment, and slapped him.
The rest of us paid while he made his new character. Bad#%@ moment on his part, even if he did die from it.
A Swords and Wizardry game, with a level one halfling warrior the players and I decided to get rid of. So it doesn't really count, as the aim was the halfling's death, but it was still a really stupid move.
Basically, the heroes stumbled upon a huge lion. The other two characters were about to attack, when the halfling intervened. "Stop," he said. "This is my fight."
In one of my games the level 2 rogue heard something while on watch and decided to investigate on his own...
The rest of the party didn't wake in time to save him.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
I remember a plan which went down the drain. The rest of the party is chilling out. The party rogue decided to steal afew trinkets from a nearby militar tent. Sneaks past the guards without a hitch. Enters the general's tent(without knowing). General is snoozing away. Tries to make a quiet search check. Rolls a one. Knocks over a paperweight which solidly lands in the washbasin. Loud clang wakes the general who grabs his weapon. Rogue is terrified. General charges rogue, hits him and takes him to 1 hp. Rogue who has resigned himself to his very probable death makes a stab with his shortsword and kills him (20,20,confirm). Funny stuff. Makes his ventriloquism check to delay guards as he puts on the genral's clothes. Covers the general's face with scars with his blade. Bluffs two guards into burning the "foolish thief". Proceeds to high tail it out of there. TRicking guards into burning the corpse of their superiors without them knowing it. None of it was even planned. Spur of the moment stuff. Good times.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Stupidest thing?
Argue over the best way to lift the dead monster off the fighter. The fighter was pinned down in a foot of water. He ended up drowning.
The group was fighting bugbears. One PC decided to go for a swim and pretended to drown, just for fun. Another PC tried to rescue the 'drowning' PC by jumping into the water, while not having the swim skill and wearing a breastplate. A third PC had to rescue him while the group was still being attacked by bugbears.
What should have been an easy random encounter, suddenly became very lethal indeed...
I also remember a wizard PC who was spying invisibly in a thieves' den. He would have been OK if he had not decided to pick up a beer mug and pour it over one of the thieves. He thought it was funny and that the rogues would believe a ghost did it. But of course rogues know what invisibility is...
He did not survive this encounter.
|
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Not the most innovative way to suicide the party, but it worked: The pc's teleported into a castle held by Zhentarim commanders, who were equal in level and number to the party (5x10th). They did no scouting, no divination, nothing. With listen checks they confirmed the location of the command room where the staff was planning. With no pre-combat spells or tactics they just decided to have the fighter kick the door down and charge in while they "backed her up" (against her protests). She charges into the room, right between two of the prepared commanders (a Blackguard and a rogue/assassin). She's evicerated in one round, the party screams like 10yr olds and frantically try to teleport away while soiling themselves.
I felt bad because the party pressured her into charging in and she was too new at the game to feel confident protesting. She's had a grudge against that group ever since.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
In the early 1990s, I co-wrote and GMed a tournament (for AD&D 2nd edition) called "One of Our Wyverns Is Missing" at a small local gaming convention that I had helped to organize. The plot was was very loosely based on Dr. Strangelove.
Adventure backstory: The Human Kingdom and the Orcish Lands (which was ruled by-- you guessed it-- the hobgoblins) had been fighting a war at a stalemate for decades, but the two nations had signed a peace treaty three years earlier that ended the open warfare (but not feelings of hostility). One of the Orcish generals was fed up with the peace treaty, and took it upon himself to steal a war wyvern and make a surprise attack on a human fortress, in order to violate the treaty and re-start the war.
The King of the Orcish Lands caught wind of the plot to re-start the war, and was sorely displeased: he knew just how close the humans had been to winning, and the peace treaty had been the only thing that saved his rule. So, the king assembled a group of leaders (the PCs) on a covert mission into the human lands to track down and stop the rogue agent. The PCs were: another hobgoblin general (12-level fighter), the head of the secret police (a 12-level hobgoblin assassin), and an orc witchdoctor (a cleric/magic-user 10/10). They also had two human prisoners in the group that were also PCs: a human ranger prisoner-of-war that they were using as a hostile guide (ranger 12), and a pretty young half-elf woman that they threatened to kill if the ranger tried to escape (actually a 12-level cleric of the god of peace, but none of the other PCs knew that).
Okay, enough back-story. One of the handouts was a rough map of the area drawn by the ranger. The players were supposed to use clues in the map to figure out where the rogue agent was going to attack. However, we included some window-dressing elements on the map including the "Noxious Marshlands" and the "Kobold Lair." In the GM notes was a brief passage that the Marshlands are deadly, filled with giant Venus fly-traps and catoblepas (which in 2nd-edition had a death-ray attack.)
When we ran the tourney, the group I was assigned included four local gamers that I knew: and they were the ABSOLUTELY WORST players in the local gaming community, and one name I didn't recognize (he'd come from out of town for the con). The non-local guy got the ranger PC, and the absolute worst tactician in the group got the leader.
So, they are supposed to be on a covert mission in enemy territory. They're riding hobgoblin war wyverns. They decide to go in broad daylight. Not only that, they fly over a large human outpost in broad daylight while "scouting." Then they land in woods only about a mile from the city, and decide that the kobolds in the Kobold Lair would know something (huh?), so they go check them out. I happened to have an old copy of The Keep on the Borderlands in my bag, so I ended up running a group of 12th level characters through the kobold lair there. Needless to say, they didn't find anything. (They did have a very fun time wiping out the kobolds, though: in 2nd-edition rules, when fighting creatures of less than one hit die, a fighter of 10th level or higher can make one attack per level. The players LOVED making 12 attacks per round!)
[EDIT to add: Oh, and while the PCs said that they were going to the Kobold Lair to find out if the kobolds knew anything... no. They never asked any questions. The fighter fell into a 10-foot pit, and then PCs immediately began raining murder on them!]
When they got back to where they'd left the wyverns, two wyverns and three local adventurers are dead. So now they're restricted in mobility. Then the "leader" says, "OK, we're boned now. No way we can succeed. Let's go explore the Noxious marshlands!" So, they then marched into the swamp and fought a bunch of wandering monsters from the "swamp" encounter tables. Including a catoblepas, which managed to kill both the witchdoctor and assassin. During that battle, the ranger and human cleric made a run for it, and the hobgoblin "leader" tried to stop them, ending the tourney in a PVP fight, which the hobgoblin lost.
Worst. Tourney. Ever. They never got to ANY of the planned encounters.
I felt the worst about that poor guy playing the ranger that had to play in a group-advancement tournament with these terrible players. As I was one of the co-organizers of the con, I ended up giving him a small prize (a $5 coupon at a local comic store) for making the best of a bad situation.
It's been 20 years, and I STILL chuckle over this one.
|
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
We were fighting this creature at top a 100 ft tall tower. Managed to critically injure it, with the witch flying just under it near the edge of the tower. It fell, landed on the witch whose flight spell couldn't support them and crashed them both into the ground. The Witch goes unconscious under it, but the creature survives the fall and next round regens to cosciousness. In a moment of brilliance I thought I'd steal a scene from Final Fantasy IV and jump down on the creature with my lucerne hamer. 5ft step and off we go. Unfortunately, a nat 1 on the acrobatics check to fall on top of the creature landed me face first on the ground beside it, with phenominally high fall damage to boot (57pt!)
Still hurt, with in ten feet of the creature I roll to my back and swing from prone on my last attack to finish the beast.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
An epic tale of player stupidity.
Wow, just, just wow...
The thing was in character creation. A party of four paladins. Got owned so hard in the first bossfight. Heard stories of pallys not being able to hold their own but never believed them. Sadly, it became clear that this was true. The end boss didn't even crit any of them. Just cut them down as they stood around, trying to contribute but being ultimately ineffective.
|
Party of three Legacy of Fire AP. Cleric, ranger, and wizard. They each received a magic item to make up for having only three players; the wizard got a fully charged wand of magic missiles (CL 3rd).
They decide to sneak into the gnoll-infested ruins, and did a good job at ambushing patrols and dispatching them quickly and quietly (great use of a silence spell by the cleric player). They decide to hide out in the large building nearby.
Inside is the Huge constrictor snake. They decide to fight it, rather than leave. Then the ranger drops. Over several rounds the cleric starts trying to heal him; they both drop. The snake is BADLY wounded by this time. The wizard says "I'm out of spells. I'm going to switch to my heavy crossbow."
T.P.K.
Yeah, that is weird. An all-paladin party should do okay in ordinary battles if properly designed. And a single evil foe should be frightfully simple, unless it's far beyond their level or the paladins are horribly balanced.
The thing was in character creation. A party of four paladins. Got owned so hard in the first bossfight. Heard stories of pallys not being able to hold their own but never believed them. Sadly, it became clear that this was true. The end boss didn't even crit any of them. Just cut them down as they stood around, trying to contribute but being ultimately ineffective.
Nice ta meetcha too.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Back in 2001ish, WOTC came out with the Epic level handbook, and to celebrate they published an epic level adventure in Dungeon. So me, being the DM, got together a HUGE party, 12 players, and let the good times roll...until my (now ex) girlfriend shows up and demands that i spend time with her. (yes, i shouldve dumped her on the spot). So plans are made for the following friday.
Next friday arrives, and we all convene. 12 20th level adventures get the mission and raid the castle in the clouds. Out of the 12, there was only 1 wizard. Rest of the party was mostly fighters and 3 clerics, i think. Anywho, this story is about the wizard.
Fastward to 2am. Wizard has become the defacto leader of the group and leading the charge, litterally. He is the first one to kick in the door, blowing through spells like they are worthless. Well, he has the groups split up to explore the castle faster, agreeing to meet up in the large central room. That is the plan.
When the other party, devoid of wizard, leaves, he instead says Screw this sh!t, lets check out the big chamber through these doors. without waiting for an answer he throws open the doors....
...and is greeted by an adult force dragon, ECL 27. Initiative is rolled, and surprisingly, he tops out, with the dragon last. He casts fireball, which smacks into a wall of force. The fighters charge, only to slam into other walls of force. Dragon goes, breathes its breath weapon. Next round he casts dominate. I make a spellcraft check for the dragon to ID the spell, success, and then make the will save. Will save is made, but dragon decides to act like it has been dominated.
Lots of talking later, the Dragon reveals the location of its massive treasure horde. On the roof. Being greedy, the wizard demands to be taken up to the roof immediately. Dragon smiles, smashes its claws into the wizard, successful grapple check, and flies out the open ceiling.
Dragon flies up, folds its wings, and falls like a rock to the ground, a mile and a half away. Wizard attempts to cast spells, but provokes AOO, and fails his checks. at the last minute, dragon lets go, and pulls up. Wizard, in free fall, has one last chance to cast a spell to save himself. I have feather fall! I know i do He proclaims holding up his sheet. is it on your sheet and prepared?
as he looks over his sheet, his face falls. I smile at him in recognition. He never wrote the spell down on his spell sheet. Tons of magic missles, but no feather fall.
needless to say he went splat...i think i ruled that he took a d6 damage per 10 feet from 1.5 miles up...
Yeah, that is weird. An all-paladin party should do okay in ordinary battles if properly designed. And a single evil foe should be frightfully simple, unless it's far beyond their level or the paladins are horribly balanced.
Yep. Emphasis on ordinary battles. The end boss wasn't evil. Smite was pretty much ineffective there. Good AC and DR 5 had the level 4 party averaging 5 damage against it per round. No chance at all. They were mostly high strength, but not high AC. Got taken apart like 4 happy meals on legs.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Activating dormant elven gate after learning Yog-Sa-what-his-name had previously corrupted it centuries ago.
Thick tenticles dragged our Druid and Sorcerer back through the gate, and my witch was pulled to the edge before the wizard managed to shut it down.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Noble fop's bodyguard: Sir, your language is offensive and I must ask you to retract your words, else I shall be forced to challenge you to a duel!
GM: The bodyguard has quite the reputation for defending his liege's honor and as a duelist. He wears a necklace of ears from those he's defeated.
PC: I can live without an ear! Let me take this guy!
((rest of party exchanges glaces))
GM: Um... he takes it after you're dead...
|
|
In a game I ran, the players had found a ring of three wishes with one wish remaining, four out of the five players would not touch it (they had played with wishes in my games before). However the fifth player was never exposed to my wish granting, and was not warned. He was playing a wizard of well below average strength (6), and made the wish the he was a strong as the fighter in the group (22), I was forced to tell the fighter he now had a strength of 6. Smart characters should be played by smart players, wish fail.
Same Shackled City AP campaign:
First instance: Party piles up gunpowder barrels to break through a wall. Realizes the only person who can light them is the party wizard with spark. Wizard gets singed... a bit.
Second instance: Dwarven ranger decides to lasso the roc the party is fighting. Gets airlifted back to the Roc nest with party tanks in hot horseback pursuit. Dwarf decides to cut himself loose in mid-air.
Third instance: Party main tank gets swallowed by an angry tyrannosaur. Party kills tyrannosaur and hacks tank out with a few rounds to spare before he succumbs to stomach acid. Party decides to discuss at length who has the spells left to get him back to the positive side of hp. Tank is melting in the pool of stomach acid.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
In a game I ran, the players had found a ring of three wishes with one wish remaining, four out of the five players would not touch it (they had played with wishes in my games before). However the fifth player was never exposed to my wish granting, and was not warned. He was playing a wizard of well below average strength (6), and made the wish the he was a strong as the fighter in the group (22), I was forced to tell the fighter he now had a strength of 6. Smart characters should be played by smart players, wish fail.
Sounds more like Jerk DM than dumb players to me.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
First instance: Party piles up gunpowder barrels to break through a wall. Realizes the only person who can light them is the party wizard with spark. Wizard gets singed... a bit.
Your players need to watch more black and white movies. The typical cinematic technique is to pour a trail of gunpowder a safe distance away then light your end of the gunpowder trail.
Maybe they saw Muppet Treasure Island, though.
|
|
In a game I ran, the players had found a ring of three wishes with one wish remaining, four out of the five players would not touch it (they had played with wishes in my games before). However the fifth player was never exposed to my wish granting, and was not warned. He was playing a wizard of well below average strength (6), and made the wish the he was a strong as the fighter in the group (22), I was forced to tell the fighter he now had a strength of 6. Smart characters should be played by smart players, wish fail.Sounds more like Jerk DM than dumb players to me.
Not so bad a jerk, I at least let them buy a wish to undo the bad one. Besides, the campaign they were in, there weren't a lot of mages trusting enough to grant a wish.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
I'm not fond of the "DM looks for every unintended interpretation or loophole in a wish to screw a player over" mindset.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I'm not fond of the "DM looks for every unintended interpretation or loophole in a wish to screw a player over" mindset.
.
Neither am I. However, I may do exactly that, depending on.
- How the wish was obtained (Coercion is never a good idea)
- Who grants the wish
- How powerful do I consider this wish to be
.
In the example, the intention of the wish (change my Str from 6 to 22) is a bit... drastic ,especially compared with the effect that a safe Wish will grant you an inherent bonus of +1, rather than 16)
There's times it's appropriate, sure. You get a wish from an evil source (efreeti or devil for example) or by force then yeah expect to be screwed if you don't get all the legalese right and file in proper triplicate.
Using an item like a ring or casting the spell though, unless you serve a douchebag/trickster deity, really shouldn't require you to write a five-page thesis nixxing every possible misinterpretation to avoid getting forked by your own request.
In the old days of 2nd ed i had a TPK when the level 1 elven wizard tried to cast sleep on the 2hd wolf and then failed his 90% resistance roll.
Dead druid pulls the rule book and says this monster can not be charmed.
Sandbagging at its finest. I usually trust the GM to run his monsters as he intends rather than as may be written in the book, and tell the story that is appropriate to the campaign... but I've definitely seen moments like this.
I'm definitely stealing that ring idea from you, Jerry. It will be my preciousss.