The Maidens of Veiled Vengeance

Round 2: Create a new organization

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

The Maidens of Veiled Vengeance

Alignment: NE
Headquarters: Oppara
Leader: Madame Nysisse Orathe
Structure: Covert network
Scope: National (Taldor)
Resources: Various types of constructs, several safehouses disguised as salons and brothels

The medusa family behind the Maidens of Veiled Vengeance have turned their natural affinity for revenge and intrigue into a lucrative business. Avengers of the myriad of umbrages, real and imagined, that permeate the decadent Taldan society, the Maidens excel at subjecting their victims to public humiliation, ranging from rumors and slander to bodily harm and abduction. Many a socialite has returned home, fuming with rage after being slighted, only to find a tempting offer from the Maidens waiting in her boudoir. The message describes, in exquisite detail, a suggested punishment for the offending party and also specifies terms of payment, which is always delivered at a discreet dead-drop, ensuring that the Maidens and their clients are never in direct contact.

Structure and Leadership
The medusa Nysisse Orathe is the all-dominant power behind the Maidens. From her secluded country estate she runs the organization through her daughters, each of whom manages her own covert cell of agents in a major Taldan city. Nysisse, an accomplished wizard, provides her daughters with soulbound dolls, wax golems and other constructs, who serve as spies, agent provocateurs, assassins and kidnappers. Since they are immune to the petrification, the constructs also function as intermediates between the medusas and their human agents. Nysisse allows her daughters a degree of autonomy in their methods, trusting that their dependency upon her supply of constructs is sufficient to keep them in line.

The medusas relish the chaos and humiliation they visit upon the pretentious society they can never belong to. Often, they are the true source of the insults they are called upon to avenge, with the medusas deftly using the information uncovered by their agents to orchestrate intricate plots and spread convincing falsehoods. Nysisse also demands a steady flow of live victims to use for new soulbound dolls and on occasion as mates.

Public Perception
The name of the Maidens, along with tales of their latest deeds, is whispered in many salons and ballrooms of Taldan high society. While everyone agrees that to actually get caught using their services would be the ultimate scandal, many a socialite secretly dreams of unleashing them upon her rivals.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Jacob, welcome to Round 2!

What you are getting from me in this critique: This round is all about conflict and story. I think the best organizations create interesting and compelling groups that will come into conflict with the PCs. My comments, and my recommendation, will focus on how well you do that. My comments will also focus on writing and use of your allotted content in achieving your goals. What you won't get from me: I don't have the total Golarion-fu that Neil and Sean do, so I will leave to them whether you got the nitty gritty details of some of the setting stuff to them (though apparently I did have enough Golarion-fu to know its Pharasmin not Pharasmian, you know who you are).

So here we go!

Initial Impression: Medusae remedying social slights Mean Girls style! Watch out or you will get humiliated, bee-atch!

Concept (name, title, is it an organization?, overall design choices, is the organization and antagonist and does it create direct conflict for the PCs?, playability): B-
I like the random medusa in this organization. Hey, I love medusae, I just don’t quite get it here. Unless she turns the social offenders to stone, but you don’t say that. I have to admit, what hurt this for me was the lack of real conflict. Sure, I guess in an urban campaign you could have some conflict from social slights, but I’m not feeling this for Superstar. I want head on collision conflict. This gets us conflict if a PC puts down someone's shoes.

Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, quality of mandatory content, did you milk your idea for all it was worth? did you use your allotted space well?): C
A good deal of Neil’s “glittering generalities,” railing at the pretentious society. Not sure you say much with the 389 words you use. One NPC, no real locations. There is very little meat on these bones.

Tilt (did it grab me?, is it unique and cool?, do I like it?, flavor, are you showing Superstar mojo?): C
Sorry, not interested in Mean Girls d20.

Overall: C
I think you took a risk in using a real social-only type group, perhaps trying to stand out by doing so. I respect that type of risky choice. I just think you missed with it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you should have tried it. I say go for it!

Recommendation: I DO NOT recommend this organization submission for advancement.

Oh, Jacob I wanted more from you this round! I really liked your shawl. I know you’ve got it in you. Maybe the voters will see it differently. Sorry I can’t recommend you this round, but I wish you the best of luck!

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

Welcome to RPG Superstar, Jacob #3 (in alphabetical order, of course). At this point in the game, the contest takes on a whole new dimension. The judges are here to comment on your work, both in the hopes of guiding you in honing your game design skills, and also to help the voting public assess how you measure up. With that in mind, I'm going to highlight some of the things I think you did well and a few others where I think you still have room for improvement. So, let's dive in...

You've given us a group of veiled medusas carrying out vengeance for those with enough coin to pay. And, all the while, they're playing the role of con artists to arrange the circumstances which lead people into exercising their services. It's a carefully structured game they're playing, but it works quite well by centering it in Taldor. You've also got a good eye for layering in additional aspects to enhance that initial setup. By giving Madame Nysisse (good name, by the way) levels in wizardry and an affinity for crafting constructs, you're building even more usable elements into the organization that lets a GM vary how they get implemented within a campaign. That's smart design.

I think what I'm missing a bit from your creation, however, is a larger goal. To me, a covert network like the Maidens of Veiled Vengeance need a little something more than a simple game of sowing chaos and humiliation upon the victims of their little setups. I need something more. I think you could have punched this up by having them act as information brokers and extortionists as well, creating situations where they threaten the lives of those close to someone they want to manipulate, sell information to those who feel victimized by some enemy, and then eventually offer their services to eliminate the source of these problems, all the while keeping it secret that they're the ones orchestrating everything. If you widened the organization out to include that kind of premise, you could have them also acting as spies. Perhaps the Qadirans are associated with them and that's why they're operating within Taldor? As a Superstar designer, you need to look for ways you can weave additional threads through your creations so they have maximum appeal and maximum usefulness to the maximum number of GMs out there.

Now that said, I still feel you've done a good job here. Your attention to detail is pretty good. The assignment of creating an antagonistic organization is very similar to creating a villain (without a stat-block). Essentially, the best villain write-up's include an understanding of what kind of organization they lead, who their minions are, and what kind of compelling goal they're pursuing. When you design an organization, you're entering into that same scenario, you're just coming at it from a different angle. You're focusing on the organization rather than highlighting the villain. Even so, you still need to tell us who the primary villain of that antagonistic organization happens to be. We need to get a sense of the minions they have at their disposal within the ranks of that organization. And then, we need a sense of the organization's primary goal, and it needs to be something compelling enough to warrant action on the part of the PCs and generate conflict when they cross paths with it. All of these elements are interconnected. And, you've done a pretty decent job of touching on several important pieces of that picture. You just need a slightly stronger goal to foster more conflict opportunities with the PCs.

So, given all that, there's enough here that I DO RECOMMEND this organization to advance you to the next round.

Don't lose sight, however, of the goals in each of these assignments. All of these tests are building towards an adventure proposal. This round is testing your ability to string together a villain, some minions, and a goal in the form of an organization...and all of those elements, when combined, can create a useful scenario for adventures in the world of Golarion. The next round involves monsters. And, it's not all that hard to figure out how they'll play a role in adventure design, as well. Your sunrise shawl helped determine how well you can craft a compelling magic item to serve as a reward for PCs who go through such an adventure, too. So, file away all these lessons round by round. The final exam is just down the road and you will be tested once more on how well you can put these things together. Best of luck in the exit polls.


I think this submission has the same problem as Daniel Rust's Anointed Choir of the Rapture--you decided to use a superfantasy element as the core element of your organization when you just as easily could have used a human element.

There's no reason this org needs to be run by medusas. They don't use their powers on their victims. They don't need petrification powers to humiliate people. They don't need stoning-magic to make soulbound dolls. Golarion is a humanocentric world, but you have a family of medusas living in Taldor's capitol city. They could have been a family of witches, or even a family of sorcerers, with the matriarch reputed to have medusa blood but still looking human. It's going to lead to one of those shocker moments that can TPK the party when, after working their way up through the organization, they confront one of the daughters with no idea she's a medusa.

Another bit of evidence to consider: the Pactmasters are a group of mysterious creatures who run Katapesh (both city and country). There are five of them in the entire country. In that context, does a family of medusas living in Oppara make sense? Doesn't that seem weird?

Locking in the foes as medusas also means you're setting a minimum PC level for the PCs to confront this group.

The goal doesn't quite make sense. It says they "relish the chaos and humiliation they visit upon the pretentious society they can never belong to," but a 2,000 gp hat of disguise means they can walk into any fancy party they want. And as a motivator for the PCs getting involved, they feel more like intermediaries between the PCs and their true opponents (frex, a noble who dislikes them) rather than the actual group opposing the PCs.

Don't get me wrong, I love using medusas in the game. But for this task I don't think you've made them PC antagonists, and in this role they don't fit the premise of the campaign setting.

I do not recommend this to advance.

What's the deal with the medusea? Their whole shtick is turning folks to stone. You could black box the villains here - they could be anything from normal humans to outsiders. You bring medusea to the table, I want some petrification!

This organization exists to generate chaos in high society. How much chaos is there in high society? How many total folks are we talking about? The 1%? Hundreds? After a a few incidents this would turn into a witch hunt.

How to the PCs find this organization an adversary? Do they trigger retribution somehow? Sounds an awful lot like a railroad to me. Maybe they get called in to clean up after one of these "revenge" actions - how hard is it to ask a few questions and get the whole story? Then it's just a game of track down clues at whatever pace the GM will feed them to the party until they have a few boss fights. Not real innovative.

Didn't like it.

I don't recommend that you vote for this designer.

EDIT FROM SEAN: Competitors, remember this item from the Round 2 FAQ, which reminds competitors about the rule against commenting about their own submissions. We're pasting this reminder into the last judge comment for every organization just to make sure all competitors see it and remember.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Thank you for your comments, judges. Everyone, please vote for the designers you think can bring the most awesome to the table. I hope I am one of them.

Tried and true isn't always where I would go -- this was a highly predictable organization.

However it wasn't badly written and it isn't overly convoluted either so that helps -- you had a goal, you saw where it would go and you kept the concept simple so you could focus on other points.

Now -- it's not my cup of tea, but it isn't bad either. Good luck on the voting.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

I like this organization for a RP heavy game. But not very original. The medusa is a neat idea, but how do they work with contacts?

Dark Archive

Disclaimer: I'm a real life friend of and sometimes player in/DM of games with Jacob, so I'm totally biased.

Despite this, I really like this submission. Yes, it may be "tried and true", but I think it does it well. I get lots of ideas for plots when I read this (as a GM) and I would love to be in a game that faced this kind of adversary.

I like how Jacob has taken a monster description and used that as a basis for his idea, but at the same time bring something new to the table.

Also, I like the use of constructs ("machinations" for an organization mastering the art of "machinations").

Is the submission flawless and perfect? No. But none of them are. And this contest is more about the journey than the destination. And I know Jacob is developing as a GM and writer in this. I'm looking forward to the next session in his campaing :)

I'll VOTE for this.

I like this submission although it seems the judges were looking for something bolder.

Medusas are classic villains but don't seem to get much use outside *enter room B14 theres a medusa there*. What do they do all day, groom their snakes and look in the mirror while stopping to stone the occassional visiting adventuring party? I like that this submission gives them a purpose in line with their characters.

I like that theres a natural progression for encounters with the party: human agents, constructs, medusa and then their boss. I think theres plenty of scope in that to drop enough clues that a clever party can deduce what they might face without slapping it in their face and hey the "oh crap close your eyes" moment could be very fun as well.

I like the tie to decadent Taldor (and frankly if thats where your going to set your game then its more high society, less monster bash). There seems plenty of room for them there (at least to me).

Sean compares them with the Pactmasters. That threw me a bit but then I noted that its not clear exactly how many medusa there are. Three, five, ten? Jacob probably left this for the DM but knowing the general scale helps I think.

Regardless, I think this submission shows plenty of promise and I like the shawl. Very likely a vote from me.

Dark Archive

I like this organizatipn a lot. I like the urban focus and its subtle scheming nature.
While I think the medusa daughters are a bit over the top (considering that they do not actually use their racial powers as a trademark and are high CR for many parties), I like that the leader is one. She (and thereby the organization) can easily be tied in with Tomb of the Iron Medusa and the Taldor centric plot in that module. All in all the theme is strongly supported by the Pathfinder campaign setting. Even with medusa cell leaders this organization can be comprised of humanoids of any class or level and can easily be molded to be a fitting challenge for any party.

Together with the Sunrise Shawl I think Jacob makes a strong candidate and I am eager to see what he can dish up with for round 3.

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

I have a real problem with any organization whose goal is to "sow chaos." As a PC, if I run into a delicate conspiracy like this, I'm going to be racking my brain trying to figure out what it's about. If I bust Mama Medusa at the end of a long plot arc and she tells me she did it all for kicks because nobody signed her yearbook, I'm going to feel let down.

The mechanics of this organization work just fine. I like the use of constructs to get around the medusae's petrification ability. The basic idea of hideous monsters operating a secret organization in Taldan high society is compelling, too. But this organization boils down to "monsters do terrible things to people for money and for fun." The key missing pieces are a stronger motivation, an idea of how encounters against this organization would look, and some additional elements to flesh out the idea (such as an allied human NPC, a cool location, or some complication like a disgraced noblewoman who spends her ruined life seeking her own revenge upon the Maidens).

The basics are sound in this entry, but there's too little content and too little motivation to fully paint compelling antagonists. I see them sketched, though, and that sketch isn't bad.

I like the contrast of the hideous interacting with the high society. To me it seemed less mean girls and more disenfranchised outsiders getting even with bullies. I could see them coming into a storyline as either temporary allies to the PCs or opponents, or perhaps both. A powerful wizard as their leader makes it plausible for them to move through and interact with society.

Sure, any race can fill this gap. Sure, there's a plot hole in their motivation considering the easy availability of illusion magic in Golarion.

But the core concept is still interesting, and you presented it in a manner that makes me want to see more from you. I voted for this entry.

Liberty's Edge

I like the idea of this one – a family of medusas who use constructs and magic to sow discord amongst Taldan high society ... but I have two main issues with it. The first is the ‘why’; why are the medusas doing this, what do they have to gain? It’s unclear whether their primary goal is making money, sowing discord, or getting revenge on society for not accepting them. It could well be all three, but I’m left wondering whether there would be better, easier or more insidious ways to achieve these goals.

The second issue is that this organisation has such a narrow focus and scope of operations, they are really only likely to come into conflict with PCs in the context of a one-off adventure or a very, very specific type of campaign.

Unlike some of the judges, I don’t have a problem with this family of medusas living in Oppara, doing their thing. I actually think that it’s kind of cool ... and how is it any worse (or much different) than

CotCT spoiler:
a family of Rakshasas living in Korvosa being decadent nobles and secret crime lords?
Either in concept or in the WTF moment that comes from the PCs discovering their identity?

Good luck Jacob.

Dedicated Voter Season 8

Congratulations again, and the very best of luck... that said, onwards, I'm trying to get through a lot of organizations today, so I'll be swift here.

I was in-between on you item. There were some unclear things, and the whole idea didn't inspire me quite enough. I like your organization more than your item, I'll say at once. Let me explain:

I really like the sublety and social kind of thing so you're getting huge bonuses with me for that.
You have good basis idea... but:
Why is the main goal "chaos and humiliation"? Why? If I use this, I'll need to spend a while recreating the goal. This is just not enough for something as relatively high-CR as medusae, for me.
Also "chaos" troubles me a little with a NE organization, which really might as well be CE for all I see. I don't mind it, I just wish one of the first words about their goal wasn't "chaos". It strikes me as an inconsistency, and while that's okay in passing, a Superstar entry should be a little more considered.
And, the biggest problem: WHY a medusa? Now I like medusae, and I haven't actually used them a lot, and I would like to. But this doesn't play to the strengths of a medusa. I'd rather have an evil fey spellcaster, evil wizard or what-not. I don't see why, and had you given me even a bit of a reason, I would have liked the entire thing a lot more.
Also, for the amount of words used, I just don't know enough. I don't know how or exactly where the medusa are hiding. I don't know what their ultimate sinister goal is (I'm convincing myself there is one).
"Humiliation" also seems a little vague for Evil alignment. A CN Calistria follower fits that better, for me. I want to see a little more blood for evil.
Neil's so called "glittering generalities" are technically at the center of what troubles me: the lack of defined goal, the lack of detail, the lack of more NPCs, etc. They worry me. I don't want a module (usually my answer to the sudden need for an adventure I can have ready in a few hours pr. session) to leave me with that many empty space. If you make it onwards, I hope you'll be more careful to provide that kind of detail in the future.

That said, you have really good idea, and I can appreciate that. My votes are not yet decided, but you still do have a chance at one. I'm not positive yet though. Best of luck from here.

Sovereign Court

I actually think that not having the medusa's turn people into stone and the WTF moment when the PC's realise what they are up against is a strength of the submission; I felt that the use of soul dolls as a middle management level between the medusae and human agents was particularly inspired.

I'm also not particularly seeing the plot hole with illusion magic. yes, a hat of disguise exists. But it is not infallible, especially considering the highly up to DM "will save on interaction". An illusion isn't going to necessarily help if your attending the high society ball and your grabbed by a nobleman wanting to dance with you.

I am definitely feeling the lack of a greater goal for the medusa's but i'd like to think its something Jacob would have expanded on with a higher word count; the word count for these organisations are pretty tight.

Overall- a twist on a classic monster that doesn't reek of cliche (and I am in full agreement about the CotCT spoiler above). Not a perfect execution but also not deserving of some of the judge's critiscisms (IMO). It got my vote.

Scarab Sages

Medusas vs. the world.

I am with Sean on this one. There was nothing that a human cant do here with this group.

And the name...

Why not just "The Maidens of Vengence"?

However, even if these had a greater goal, Medusas are solitary by nature. Having an entire organization of them in each major city throughout Taldor kinda goes against their very nature. The sentence where you wrote, "From her secluded country estate..." lost my interest. Of all the places I thought I would find a Medusa, it was not in a nice little cottage in the country side with rolling hills inthe background. It does not imspire fear in me.

And why waste resources on constructs and such when the threat of turning their gaze on a servant or his loved ones is a strong means of ensuring loyalty.

Dont get me wrong, I love the medusa monster a lot, just a little less than the naga. However, I am not a huge fan of this organization as written.

I'm Jacob's wife and we all know who I voted for.
However, I'd like to thank all of you lovely people who've also cast your votes in this direction. They'll be much appreciated, regardless of the outcome!

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

*Spits out gag and kicks it across the floor*

Once again, thank you to everyone who commented, whether it was with praise or critique. And of course, an extra big thank you to anyone who actually voted for me.

In case anyone cares, I will probably post a longer response to all the feedback tomorrow, while I wait to find out if I made it to the next round or not.


RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

All right, time for some quick designer notes. I'll try and sum up some of the various point mentioned in the comments.

So, what's the deal with the medusas?
My very first idea for an organization were an order of goblin alchemists, roaming Golarion in search of better ways to light things on fire. Obviously, I ended up going in a different direction, but all the way through, I was determined to build a monster-centric organization. This was mainly to challenge myself, focus my brainstorming and as a way of standing out from the many human-based entries I was pretty sure were going to be the bulk of the entries.

So I started looking for suitable monsters. They needed to be intelligent, and not overly used. i found myself drifting back to the medusa over and over, because well...medusas are cool. In retrospect, I realize the danger of getting too locked in on a particular idea, and I definitely see where I could have paid more heed to that tried and true advice "Kill your darlings". But I felt I needed something to focus and contain my process, and the medusa became my anchor, to ensure that my organization didn't end up as a collection of wild ramblings and half ideas.

So the monster came first, and then I took a look at the monster entry and thought "what kind of organization would a medusa run?". I found much of my inspiration in Mythological Monsters Revisited. Sentences such as:

While not innately evil, medusas are driven to pursue their dark desires out of spite, scornful of those who shun them for their curse.
Medusas are avaricious, lustful, and driven by the need for vengeance.
A medusa living among humans and their ilk must be an expert at disguise or stealth, and keep her visage constantly hidden behind a veil or beneath a low-hanging hood. Such social medusas excel at creating elaborate networks of unassociated cells, each unaware of the activities and objectives of the others.
A particularly strong medusa may be able to recruit others to her cause and enforce a strict hierarchy and chain of command, and a cadre of medusas working in concert is truly a terrifying thing;
The snake-headed monsters live secretly in virtually every major city of Avistan, especially in Absalom, the marketplaces of Qadira and Katapesh, and the decadent courts of Taldor.

Put all those together, and you have The Maidens of Veiled Vengeance. Oh, and about the name...well, what can I say....naming is hard.

Why aren't they turning people to stone?
Mainly because they are not really interested in revealing the fact that they are medusas? The whole basis of being a medusa is that if people find out a medusa is living next door, the are going to make a special effort to hunt you down and kill you. And Nysisse and her daughters definitely don't want that.

Mean Girls D20? Really?
Yeah. I'm well aware that I took a BIG risk here, not only going for an organization that lent itself heavily to social roleplay, but also one that ended up reminding readers of high school chick fights. I think one mistake was not emphasizing just how nasty the methods used by the Maidens are.

Neil wrote:
I need something more. I think you could have punched this up by having them act as information brokers and extortionists as well, creating situations where they threaten the lives of those close to someone they want to manipulate, sell information to those who feel victimized by some enemy, and then eventually offer their services to eliminate the source of these problems, all the while keeping it secret that they're the ones orchestrating everything.

Once I read this, I realized I had underplayed my hand, because that is EXACTLY how I picture the Maidens operating. More blackmail, kidnapping and plotting, and less Mean Girls and glasses of wine thrown on dresses.

What do these chicks WANT? Where is the big goal?
again, this is a well made point that I was painfully aware of when I submitted. I simply did not have the creative energy left at that point to think up any greater goal that vengeance and spite, with a little profit on the side. This is definitely an area where I have to work harder in the future.

In closing, I have to say that I have found some very valuable lessons in the comments and feedback, and that I am extremely proud that several of you, both judges and voters, feel that while this entry is far from perfect, it and the Sunrise Shawl shows that I have potential as a designer. And I can promise you that I will use the feedback given to develop that potential - whether I advance to the next round or not.

Thank you.

Liberty's Edge

Congratulations Jacob! While I had a couple of questions regarding your submission, I liked the core idea and some of the details. Seeing your recent post I can also appreciate that there was actually a lot of thought and, well, fittingness to this one. Glad that you made it through. Good luck in round 3!

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Thank you, Mothman. I'll try hard not to disappoint

Jacob Trier wrote:

The Maidens of Veiled Vengeance

Alignment: NE
Headquarters: Oppara
Leader: Madame Nysisse Orathe
Structure: Covert network
Scope: National (Taldor)


You should know the drill by now, but in case you missed it the first time round, Ask A RPGSupersuccubus is posting from the point of view of a CE aligned succubus:
Fairness is an adjective applicable to hair coloration, balance is what a couple of mortals rapidly losing it on opposite ends of a plank pivoted on a rocky spire a couple of hundred feet above a slowly rising pool of molten basalt try to do, and logic is one of those things which you could swear is there when you rattle the piggybank but if anyone other than a demon opens it the contents turn out to be a couple of dead wasps and a six week old ‘to do (in)’ list.

Important Note:
There’s a difference between late and fashionably late. The former is what most other beings manage. The latter is what sophisticated, (very advanced) succubi manage.

First impressions always being important, do members of this organization wear nifty robes or uniforms when out on formal business?
No mention is made of any kind of uniforms, and they possibly don't have any. Presumably, however, they have a recognisable 'calling card' if they are known of in society, and offers they make can be identified and believed so readily, but no details are supplied of what such a card may look like.

Does membership of this organisation seem likely to involve regular tea or dinner parties or other appropriate social occasions?
It's emphasised how much they're outside of social norms, so I think this is unlikely.

Is the cost of being a member of this organisation likely to be acceptable to a succubus?
It's a family business of medusae who employ constructs. They don't take on members.

Other comments?
As another critic has observed, in a society where magical items exist and are available, these medusae could actually 'belong' if they actually wanted to do so. Yes there would be a certain amount of risk inherent to overly relying on magic items, but at least with the leader of this snaky-haired cabal being apparently a wizard of some skill, she could manufacture her own arcane items if she so desired.
However, this organization (although it's more of a commercial business really) is at least good news for sales of golembane scarabs. I'll have to have a word with a contact and see some forwarded to some friends in Oppara. They should make a killing...

Organizations are not being rated except under special circumstances.

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