Thank you guys for your comments and critiques!
Sightlinked SpiesSpoiler:*Hmmmm. Well, I can see the utility of this item. It's essentially the perfect "bug" to place on someone you want to track. And it also lets you see what's going on in a 60 ft. radius around the linked bug. That really ought to be a clairvoyance effect moreso than arcane eye, though. The latter lets you move a scrying sensor around, while the former is stationary.*I like the paired bugs being able to follow one another and lead its user to the location of the linked one. I'm not sure how Superstar it is...but it might be worth keeping around for comparison's sake.
*Weak Keep.
*I hate spy items. It seems we get a couple every year.
*These are not that interesting, original or creative and thus not Superstar in my humble opinion.
*Reject.
*Utilitarian, but not superstar.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Awww, I wish I had known that at least one of the judges was just sick of spy items. :(
Well, regardless, I was curious about something concerning judge expectations. I remember hearing or reading somewhere that a good item should be one where the judges go "wait, this doesn't exist already?" and I sort of went for that in my design. A couple of the comments seemed to imply that the item had a good utility, but I'm now confused. There seems to be a fine line between "seems like an item that should already exist" and "not original" and I guess I went into the not original end. The confusion is from the fact that I went looking through the wondrous items in the PRD and didn't really find anything like the item I submitted. Obviously I understand that the items in the Core/APG are not the only things that determine whether an item is original or not, but I figured that it would at least be a good place to start. However, I needed more, it seems.
So the clarification I'm looking for is, I guess, what is the expectation when it comes to originality? Are the judges hoping for something that is new to pathfinder, new to fantasy role-playing, or something that is entirely new as a concept? More specifically, how do I avoid the "unoriginality" that I stumbled into with my entry?
Thanks Clark!
Spellchoker
* Yet another item that has to be put on a helpless victim to be of any use. I really get annoyed by these. They're far more cursed item (even if they're just restraints) than a wondrous item.
* "miner" vs. "minor"* I'm just not a fan of the concept or execution.
* "it's not a cursed item, really"
(Basically, we had a lot of "this item totally neutralizes a mage prisoner" items this year, but once you have someone helpless, shackled, and gagged, you really don't need to use magic to prevent them from spellcasting, unless your target has Still Spell, Silent Spell, and Quicken Spell, and the odds of that being true...)
I'd also like to see the judge's comments for my submission, as I had a lot of fun with it. Many thanks in advance for taking the time out!
Hinge's Handle
* This is a really annoying item. The GM essentially has to contemplate (and prepare something for) every creature that last passed through every door on the off chance some player decides to use this thing, either to view what lies beyond or disguise themselves.
* Why couldn't this be a "scry through the door" item? Author makes too much work for the GM.
* Weirdness with interacting with the doorway from the other side, too.
* And what if disguise self wouldn't work to disguise yourself as that creature? Like the last creature was a monstrous humanoid or a demon?
(Basically, we had a lot of "this item totally neutralizes a mage prisoner" items this year, but once you have someone helpless, shackled, and gagged, you really don't need to use magic to prevent them from spellcasting, unless your target has Still Spell, Silent Spell, and Quicken Spell, and the odds of that being true...)
Hey, that's my wizard you're harpin' on there! :)
Thank you guys for your comments and critiques!
Awww, I wish I had known that at least one of the judges was just sick of spy items. :(Sightlinked Spies** spoiler omitted **
I think part of that is because we get several items like that every year, including this year, and there are already spells/items that let you spy on someone, so this kind of item is filling a niche that's already filled (especially as they're usually limited in that you have to place a scry-target item in that location or on the person before you can use it).
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Gah due to a virus I had to pretty much factory reset my computer... and forgot to save my item draft lol
Any chance I can get a critique anyway?
it was I believe Eye, Glass, price fairly high, I made it the cost of a constant arcane eye.
Basic idea of the item was that it used up the eye slot and after 24 hours of use let the user see through it with human vision. once attuned you could place it other places to see in places you currently aren't, though it still takes up the eye slot.
something like that anyway been a while.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
aka primemover003
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(Basically, we had a lot of "this item totally neutralizes a mage prisoner" items this year, but once you have someone helpless, shackled, and gagged, you really don't need to use magic to prevent them from spellcasting, unless your target has Still Spell, Silent Spell, and Quicken Spell, and the odds of that being true...)
So glad I deep sixed my first idea as it was something exactly like this. Not that my actual idea did any better that is! It's crazy how often concurrent design happens not only here but for movies, tv shows, etc, etc. Must be something in the water?
--Vroccupy Absalom
Thanks Sean, you and Neil and Clark make us contestants feel loved ;) - I was really hoping I at least made the keep pile; but no such luck. Good luck with catching up with the items; I'm eagerly awaiting you guys getting to page 5
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I don't believe this was my final draft, but it's pretty close to what I used...
Thanks for the critiques!
The Harmonic Pentacles
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 10,150 gp; Weight —
Description
This delicate beaded choker is strung with five ruby pendants cut in a five-pointed star pattern. These items are prized by Chelish Opera singers for their magical abilities, enabling performances of solo duets. Whenever the wearer begins to sing, the crystal beads and rubies vibrate, causing a natural harmonic tone. With sufficient practice, she can perform a true duet by singing independent rhythms and not simply multiple pitches. The Harmonic Pentacles gives the wearer a +5 competence bonus on Perform (sing) checks.
The choker's true ability only manifests for a singer capable of a bardic performance. While she is already maintaining a bardic performance, she may touch the choker as part of her action to begin a second bardic performance, harmonizing the two together. This allows her to maintain both simultaneously and causes all five rubies on the choker to glow. Both bardic performances must have an auditory component, or the item fails to harmonize with her. For each round that the bard uses this item, she expends two rounds of bardic performance, and one of the rubies on the choker dims. Once all five rubies have dimmed, the choker temporarily loses all of its magical abilities. Each day, generally while readying spells for the day, a wearer may spend 15 minutes singing to the choker, which recharges all five rubies and restores the bonus to Perform (sing) checks.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, virtuoso performance, creator must have 5 ranks in the Perform (sing) skill; Cost 5,075 gp
And I've got my fingers crossed for page 6. By my count, my item is #138; they've done about 90 so far.
Here's to hoping we can all make good use of the feedback next year :)
Oh sweet mercy.
My wife, god bless her has just had my magical item thrown at her for her feedback.
Yes, real and thrown.
She has been quiet in her sewing room tonight for the last couple hours...
She just presented me with a 6 inch felt furry purse with zips on all four sides and a great big "LOSER" L as the motif.
Do excuse whilst I chase her...
Bet you never seen feedback like that before Neil. >.<
Must add to template thread...
"Don't design anything that can be made by evil wives".
I'm curious as to what you guys thought of my entry. Looking forward to tightening up my ideas for next year. Thanks for the comments, and the chance to participate!
The Coat of the Lone Wanderer
Aura strong universal or evocation (if miracle is used); CL 17th
Slot body; Price 25,000 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
This long brown coat appears to have seen better days. The scars of countless battles litter the surface, obscured in places by the dust of the road.The Coat of the Lone Wanderer provides a +1 luck bonus to AC and saves.
As well, the coat protects the bearer from the rigors of the environment as if he was affected by a constant endure elements spell.
At any time, the bearer can hide a weapon in the coat and gain a +4 bonus to Sleight of Hand checks as though it were no larger than a coin. The coat can conceal two one-handed or light weapons this way, or one two-handed weapon.
The coat can conceal other items of similar sizes as well.
This ability does not function with extraordinarily large items such as siege weapons.
Finally, the coat protects the bearer's items from damage or destruction. Anytime the bearer of the coat makes a saving throw against an attack, spell or effect that affects one of their items, including the coat itself, they may reroll the save before the results are revealed.
They must take the result of the reroll, even if it is worse than the original. This includes when an item takes damage due to the bearer rolling a natural 1 against a spell effect, but only for the item. It does not allow the bearer to reroll to avoid damage to himself.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bless, endure elements, shrink item, wish or miracle; Cost 12,500 gp
Oh you poor soul, you posted just after me with template fu still awake at my side...
Construction.... Requirements.... Spells.... Italicise!You need to break some paragraphs a bit as that post was a bit "wall of words" even at widescreen. (I've edited the quote to show you the difference where some paragraphs could have been placed, but Im not perfect at grammar either.)
Try to avoid "Also", "As Well" etc., it gives you back some words and can help make scanning an item easier.
Now if you look, you can see quite quickly that it's starting to look little like a swiss army knife of abilities - don't know if this is your falling point or not, but that's my feeling.
And yeah, template fu forced me to add the italics...
- which made me wonder about the use of "or" in construction requirements and aura - any advice on this one - I will update the template thread with the clarification if any.
I know you guys said you weren't going back and rereading the extra posts and stuff. But a HUUUUUGE Thank You both for your feedback and for the promptness. This is really amazing! Thanks again!
I'm curious as to what you guys thought of my entry. Looking forward to tightening up my ideas for next year. Thanks for the comments, and the chance to participate!
The Coat of the Lone Wanderer
Aura strong universal or evocation (if miracle is used); CL 17th
Slot body; Price 25,000 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
This long brown coat appears to have seen better days. The scars of countless battles litter the surface, obscured in places by the dust of the road. The Coat of the Lone Wanderer provides a +1 luck bonus to AC and saves. As well, the coat protects the bearer from the rigors of the environment as if he was affected by a constant endure elements spell. At any time, the bearer can hide a weapon in the coat and gain a +4 bonus to Sleight of Hand checks as though it were no larger than a coin. The coat can conceal two one-handed or light weapons this way, or one two-handed weapon...**SNIP**
Emphasis mine.
THIS is what the judges see as your item after the name. A tiny bump to AC and saves as well as a common 1st-level spell.
Plus, it's a SAK (bonus to AC and saves, endure elements, skill bonus, re-roll saving throws). There are some issues with the template as well (not italicizing spells or your item name, improper capitalization of the items name) and the caster level to create it is monstrous to boot. 17th level is farther than most campaigns go. Good luck making the item, let alone finding it anywhere!
Harmonic pentacles I don't believe this was my final draft, but it's pretty close to what I used...
Thanks for the critiques!
I like it better than most of whats in the contest. (but i have odd tastes)
I don't believe this was my final draft, but it's pretty close to what I used...
Thanks for the critiques!
The Harmonic Pentacles
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 10,150 gp; Weight —
Description
This delicate beaded choker is strung with five ruby pendants cut in a five-pointed star pattern. These items are prized by Chelish Opera singers for their magical abilities, enabling performances of solo duets. Whenever the wearer begins to sing, the crystal beads and rubies vibrate, causing a natural harmonic tone. With sufficient practice, she can perform a true duet by singing independent rhythms and not simply multiple pitches. The Harmonic Pentacles gives the wearer a +5 competence bonus on Perform (sing) checks.The choker's true ability only manifests for a singer capable of a bardic performance. While she is already maintaining a bardic performance, she may touch the choker as part of her action to begin a second bardic performance, harmonizing the two together. This allows her to maintain both simultaneously and causes all five rubies on the choker to glow. Both bardic performances must have an auditory component, or the item fails to harmonize with her. For each round that the bard uses this item, she expends two rounds of bardic performance, and one of the rubies on the choker dims. Once all five rubies have dimmed, the choker temporarily loses all of its magical abilities. Each day, generally while readying spells for the day, a wearer may spend 15 minutes singing to the choker, which recharges all five rubies and restores the bonus to Perform (sing) checks.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, virtuoso performance, creator must have 5 ranks in the Perform (sing) skill; Cost 5,075 gp
It's a very flavorful way to have virtuoso performance spaced out over 5 rounds of your choice instead of once per day. However, virtuoso performance is a 4th-level bard spell which means you're looking at an item that is at least 10th-level. Far cry from 5. Add in the +5 bonus to Perform (sing) and this is an item that any bard would love to have. It's a steal at that price! I have a Chelish divo that would wreak havoc with a few of these, he's got the cash.
Seems I might be waiting a while... oh well.
Gimmie both barrels! I can take it!
Cap of Vocational Variance
Aura strong divination; CL 15th
Slot head; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A round, flat topped velvet cap similar to the kind commonly worn by scholars, the cap of vocational variance allows its wearer to tap into the knowledge and experiences of alternate versions of himself that exist in the many, supposedly infinite, parallel universes. Once per day as an immediate action before attempting a skill check, the cap may be activated granting the wearer a significant boost to the skill about to be used. The wearer is treated as having maximum ranks for his level in this skill, and it is considered to be a class skill for the wearer, entitling him to the +3 bonus for being trained in the skill if he does not already possess this bonus. These bonuses last for the duration of a single skill check, up to one week. Though the magic of the hat replenishes daily, the cap of vocational variance may not be used again while it is already providing a bonus to a skill. If the cap is removed while the wearer is still performing the skill check these bonuses are immediately lost. In this case, if the skill being used is one usable only with training, and the wearer does not actually possess ranks in the skill, the check automatically fails.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, moment of prescience; Cost 12,000
Cloud Catcher Cube
*So, you get to suck up a dragon's poisonous breath weapon, store it, and use it on others...no save allowed. It just works all the time. For 37,000 gp. Clouds, fogs, gases, and mists all have such a varying range of potency depending on what you're dealing with that I'm not sure this item is really all that balanced for what it allows you to do. The designer's got some great professional polish and presented everything well. I'm just not sure how I feel about the core idea.
*On the fence.
*Reject.
*It's the automatic and unlimited aspects of this item that trouble me. Make the effort, nail it down to X uses per day, and do the hard work of costing it right based on that.
*Reject.
*Off the fence. Reject.
*Rejected.
Seems I might be waiting a while... oh well.
Gimmie both barrels! I can take it!
Cap of Vocational Variance
Aura strong divination; CL 15th
Slot head; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A round, flat topped velvet cap similar to the kind commonly worn by scholars, the cap of vocational variance allows its wearer to tap into the knowledge and experiences of alternate versions of himself that exist in the many, supposedly infinite, parallel universes. Once per day as an immediate action before attempting a skill check, the cap may be activated granting the wearer a significant boost to the skill about to be used. The wearer is treated as having maximum ranks for his level in this skill, and it is considered to be a class skill for the wearer, entitling him to the +3 bonus for being trained in the skill if he does not already possess this bonus. These bonuses last for the duration of a single skill check, up to one week. Though the magic of the hat replenishes daily, the cap of vocational variance may not be used again while it is already providing a bonus to a skill. If the cap is removed while the wearer is still performing the skill check these bonuses are immediately lost. In this case, if the skill being used is one usable only with training, and the wearer does not actually possess ranks in the skill, the check automatically fails.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, moment of prescience; Cost 12,000
I've been listening to Brian Greene recently, so I like the flavor. I do know that some of the judges don't like modern science terms in their Pathfinder. Big problem that I see is that it is a scaling item. Worse, it's a scaling item that gives you access to every skill in the game, depending on what you need. I can see problems with this hat becoming the cap of Use Magic Device
Binding Oath of the Faithful
*Forgot their item name in the body text of their submission.
*It's kind of a variation on a rope of entanglement, drawing upon some of the new spells to throw a little alignment-based damage in there. I'm not exceedingly wowed by it, but the execution and mechanics are sound.
*Might make a book of magic items. But is it Superstar? They've got a good enough attention to detail here in using the template that it might be worth giving them a shot...or at least a visit to the Keep folder. I'm not thrilled with the name though.
*Weak Keep.
*Death by torah. Seriously?
*Vote to Reject.
*I'm with Ryan on this one.
*Reject.
*What is "divine damage"?
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Bow Sheath of the Exotic Hunt
*To me, this is a cheesy weapon item masquerading as a wondrous item. It's meant for the power-gamer to be able to quickly discern a creature's DR weakness (at range) and then communicate that to his companions so they'll more easily win a battle.
*It's also basically a SAK of any DR-ignoring special material you need. I just don't find that compelling or innovative. It's not wise design with an eye towards game balance. It's more of an arms race kind of item.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
The Traveler's Trowel
*It's just a language-granting item. For 12,000 gp.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Also, agree. Reject.
*Rejected.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
aka primemover003
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Seems I might be waiting a while... oh well.
Gimmie both barrels! I can take it!
Cap of Vocational Variance
Aura strong divination; CL 15th
Slot head; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A round, flat topped velvet cap similar to the kind commonly worn by scholars, the cap of vocational variance allows its wearer to tap into the knowledge and experiences of alternate versions of himself that exist in the many, supposedly infinite, parallel universes. Once per day as an immediate action before attempting a skill check, the cap may be activated granting the wearer a significant boost to the skill about to be used. The wearer is treated as having maximum ranks for his level in this skill, and it is considered to be a class skill for the wearer, entitling him to the +3 bonus for being trained in the skill if he does not already possess this bonus. These bonuses last for the duration of a single skill check, up to one week. Though the magic of the hat replenishes daily, the cap of vocational variance may not be used again while it is already providing a bonus to a skill. If the cap is removed while the wearer is still performing the skill check these bonuses are immediately lost. In this case, if the skill being used is one usable only with training, and the wearer does not actually possess ranks in the skill, the check automatically fails.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, moment of prescience; Cost 12,000
Technically you've got the template and style down, though you missed the "gp" in Cost. But its pretty lackluster. Max ranks in a skill for one check per day for any skill and it makes it a class skill for you? For a few grand more I could get a tome +1 or for about 8k less I can get a +4 headband. At that level (roughly 12th or 13th) I could cast legend lore to get the answers I seek without the chance of failing a skill check at all.
--Vrock the Casbah
Gloves of the Impossible Bottle
*How often do adventurers find the need to put their hands through a glass barrier? I'm thinking not all that often. And, when they do, most of them will just break the glass and then it's no longer a barrier.
*Vote to Reject.
*I like the idea of it, but I agree with Neil--this almost never would come up, and 99% of the time you'd just break the glass, so there's very little adventurer-value for this item.
*Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
Sash of the Daredevil
*So you get scouting badges for completing a bunch of daredevil feats? And we're handing out hero points before attempting something risky? Lame.
*Vote to Reject.
*The "GM has to decide if it's risky" thing is weak game design. As is setting the minimum DC to 20, because higher-level characters can do that easily, putting the GM against "but the item says DC 20 is enough."
*Reject.
*Perhaps my name doesnt always fit, but this is a classic "home campaign item." Maybe I should rename the category the "GM discretion item" as that is what this is. YOU get to make up the rules! That's just not modern design.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Sponge Stone Maid
I liked your idea but then again I submitted a "hairball". I feel your pain my friend.
*adds sponge to list of non superstar items*As a side note I did ask Clark if they had a list of items they can not bring themselves to call "superstar" simply based on the type of item you start with, i.e. hair or sponge. I'll let you know if he gets back to me on that, but I went ahead and added outhouse and cupcake to the list. :)
Kamikaze Candle
*Ummm. I hate the name. I liked some of the descriptive flavor of the item. Mechanically, it's just kind of all over the place. I get the illumination thing and obscuring effect. It seems weird that a strong wind disperses the swarm and it supposedly reforms on the next turn (which I suspect they mean "round"), even though a strong wind would likely extinguish the candle which automatically makes the entire swarm dissipate.
*The part that got really confusing and disjointed for me was the kamikaze aspect. If the candle explodes in a 30-foot radius, why does it only target "up to four targets" who then get a weird saving throw (for half damage, but which still always inflicts at least 1 point--what if you're protected from fire?)...and then provokes AoO's from every ally in range? How'd that get invoked just for taking some fire damage? I don't understand the part that says a target can be struck multiple times (presumably by the fiery, exploding swarm carcasses, not the AoO's). It's just all kinds of convoluted and weird. Not cohesive or clear enough.
*That said, the designer used the template well. It's interesting as a lower level, consumable item. Just not inspired or innovative enough in my book.
*Vote to Reject.
*What is the mechanic for striking a target multiple times? And who chooses?
*I take it that means you're inclined to Reject this one, too?
*Oh yeah, sorry, yes, REJECT :) If that wasn't clear.
*Meh. This item would have benefited by subtraction. Get rid of the -40 stealth check. If I'm a creature that takes up more than one square do I still get concealment? And anything within 5 feet of me? If damaged or disbursed why does it reform?
*Since the save is for half damage and this is not described as a ranged touch, ranged, melee, or melee touch attack, the only targets that would take no damage are those immune to fire or with some kind of feat-chain that negates halved damage. Better to just say that you provoke an attack of opportunity (see below).
*The game doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity when someone does something to you. The point of AoO is to make YOU think about YOUR actions.
*Attacks of Opportunity in this case are stupid too. Why?
*"and never functions underwater" would have been 4 easy to edit words.
*Vote to Reject
*(Could be tightened up and resubmitted in the future for a keep from me)
*I would have rejected it for the name before I got to anything else.
*Are the things in the candle moths, or are they merely moth-like corpses? I was thinking you'd burn the candle to release weird burning moth-mummies. Which would be pretty damn cool.
*I like low-cost, consumable items. I wanted to like this. Not quite good enough.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Binding Oath of the Faithful*Forgot their item name in the body text of their submission.
*It's kind of a variation on a rope of entanglement, drawing upon some of the new spells to throw a little alignment-based damage in there. I'm not exceedingly wowed by it, but the execution and mechanics are sound.
*Might make a book of magic items. But is it Superstar? They've got a good enough attention to detail here in using the template that it might be worth giving them a shot...or at least a visit to the Keep folder. I'm not thrilled with the name though.
*Weak Keep.
*Death by torah. Seriously?
*Vote to Reject.
*I'm with Ryan on this one.
*Reject.
*What is "divine damage"?
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Thanks for the look, Neil. *headdesk* on forgetting the title in the body of the post. I'm actually surprised by the question about divine damage though, considering it's a mechanic that's seen use in various spell effects (flame strike being the seminal example). Food for thought...
Capricious Gangplank
*Wow. There's the seed of a cool idea in this item, but it really gloms on a lot of unnecessary stuff in what I assume was an attempt on the designer's part to win us over.
*I really don't see the goblin angle to this gangplank. Do goblins routinely set sail and do the whole pirate boarding action thing? No, not really.
*Even when I boil it all down, it's still a magic gangplank with little usefulness unless you're running a seafaring campaign. That kind of makes this more of a homebrew campaign item or a plot device to me.
*That said, the designer is obviously trying really hard to stand out. The use of the provided template is nigh perfect. They're trying to be innovative by creating an item that uses one of the new feats (i.e., Improved Dirty Trick). They've done what they can to avoid the SIAC effects by tweaking heroism, but I don't really like that they stole the bard's class ability for dirge of doom.
*This was a big swing for the fence. I'm just not sure it connected.
*Weak Reject.
*Interesting idea, fails to connect in several areas.
*Only working once per week makes me think they discounted the cost because of that.
*I think there's too much crammed into it...just the heroism is good, but the dirge of doom and the entangling on top of that is a lot all at once.
*You should be able to dislodge the plank by moving the ships apart, otherwise they're welded together.
*No idea if they included the mutiny aspect in the costing--that sort of thing is always a problem.
*Attunement isn't really a thing we do with most magic items.
*Weak reject.
*Rejected.
All your points on my item are quite well taken. I'm definitely keen to run again next year.
Just one note, though — those of you who thought that a bitter taste was a strange thing to delight the palate must not be fans of India Pale Ales or hoppy beers in general... but those that are fans of those beers are hardcore.
The item was magic brewing yeast. Beer is bitter. Beer is also naturally immune to many kinds of spoilage, hence the immunity conferred by the item.
Maybe if I wasn't such a drunk I would have capitalized Craft Wondrous Item.
See you next year. *urp*
GLOVES OF THE ACCURATE BOMBER
*Really? That's it? Simple, yes; low level, yes; explores new class stuff, yes? Superstar? No.
*Reject.
*I can see what they're going for here, but bomber's eye should be a MUST for the spells in the construction requirements on this item. Sadly, I don't think we need something so heavily specialized into further improving the precise bombs discovery with an assumed Intelligence boost (I mean, you could get a real Intelligence boosting item and achieve much the same effect). Other that that, it's really just making it so you don't miss by quite as much if you overshoot on a splash weapon.
*Is that Superstar? Well, the fact that they're trying to do something innovative with the alchemist class is kind of Superstar. But, the fact that it does very little for any other class besides an alchemist, isn't very Superstar. They're onto some smart thinking here, but they needed to go further with it.
*Vote to Reject.
*"...but bomber's eye should be a MUST..." And that is why I love having you as a judge, among many other reasons...
*Rejected.
Thanks for doing this Neil, Sean, and Clark. The feedback is greatly appreciated by everyone in the community.
Aura strong transmutation; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 45,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
This thick braided torc is a weave of woody vines, leaves, and moss bound at either end with the snarling head of a mountain lion carved from ironwood and is designed to be worn around the neck of a druid’s animal companion.
Once per day a druid can have their animal companion activate the torc by emitting the command sound (roar, bark, screech, etc.) by making a Handle Animal check as a free action. The DC for this check is 10 if the animal companion knows the trick perform and 25 if they do not. A successful activation of the item transforms the body of the animal companion into living ironwood for eight minutes.
The animal companion receives a +6 enhancement bonus to their Strength and a -6 reduction to Dexterity (to a minimum Dexterity score of 1). While still a living creature, the animal companion gains the special abilities (damage reduction 5/adamantine, construct traits, immunity to magic) and weaknesses of a wood golem (vulnerability to fire and spells that affect wood), see the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary.
In dire need, the torc can be activated for a second time during a given day. The druid must immediately pass a Wild Empathy check of DC 35 or the animal companion becomes disenchanted with the changes the druid has wrought and quits travelling with the druid. If the companion leaves, the druid cannot summon another for at least one month after she seeks atonement for her actions.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ironbody, a piece of ironwood Cost 22,500 gp
EDIT: I just read Sean's post re: submitting items from previous years that had been publicly posted for feedback. An earlier version of this was posted in the self-rejected thread last year. I hope that didn't get it automatically rejected. I'm not sure how I missed that rule but it was there to easily find so the fault was mine.
The Lich’s Flask
*This is a lich item of magic jar. I don't necessarily object to "bad guy" items but they have to be a lot better than this.
*Reject.
*Agreed. I found the descriptive text of this item rather confusing and convoluted. It's a difficult item to wrap your head around and comes off feeling more like a plot device or homebrew campaign item to me. Or, essentially, an item the GM (or a player who wants to become a lich) creates for the game so they can have an extra phylactery to avoid death and continue their villainous exploits. I'm just not won over by it. Not enough mojo going on this one.
*Weak Reject.
*Rejected.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
aka primemover003
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Capricious Gangplank*Wow. There's the seed of a cool idea in this item, but it really gloms on a lot of unnecessary stuff in what I assume was an attempt on the designer's part to win us over.
*I really don't see the goblin angle to this gangplank. Do goblins routinely set sail and do the whole pirate boarding action thing? No, not really.
*Even when I boil it all down, it's still a magic gangplank with little usefulness unless you're running a seafaring campaign. That kind of makes this more of a homebrew campaign item or a plot device to me.
*That said, the designer is obviously trying really hard to stand out. The use of the provided template is nigh perfect. They're trying to be innovative by creating an item that uses one of the new feats (i.e., Improved Dirty Trick). They've done what they can to avoid the SIAC effects by tweaking heroism, but I don't really like that they stole the bard's class ability for dirge of doom.
*This was a big swing for the fence. I'm just not sure it connected.
*Weak Reject.
*Interesting idea, fails to connect in several areas.
*Only working once per week makes me think they discounted the cost because of that.
*I think there's too much crammed into it...just the heroism is good, but the dirge of doom and the entangling on top of that is a lot all at once.
*You should be able to dislodge the plank by moving the ships apart, otherwise they're welded together.
*No idea if they included the mutiny aspect in the costing--that sort of thing is always a problem.
*Attunement isn't really a thing we do with most magic items.
*Weak reject.
*Rejected.
Ah so close to hooking the judges! Thanks for the feedback Neil. I think I can discern who said what about my item.
The faces were almost skulls, but I found goblins to be more "capricious" than undead. Yes this really is a "party item" and it is meant for a seafaring campaign, so it is a bit niche. Mutiny and the dirge of doom were mechanics I added later in the design process after it evolved into an item a group could find after battling pirates or slavers then keep for themselves (plot device). My PCs however will definitely be seeing this in Skull & Shackles somewhere in book 1 or 2!
--Vrocky Shoals
*It's a portable merchant so you don't have to waste time going back to town to sell your gear.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*MMOs have [bleeped] up tabletop gaming. This is one of the ways.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Gauntlets of the Stampeding Herd
*Is this really necessary? This item comes off like a power-gamer's dream so they can keep elevating their damage curve and skirt any penalties associated with the normal rules for doing so.
*Vote to Reject.
*How about you just use weapons and natural attacks of your own size. Thanks.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
*The whole "surrounded by moderate winds" is straight out of the cloak of winds description, but they tried to tweak it to avoid SIAC territory by saying it holds up against hurricane-force winds as well. Then, they nerfed the penalty to ranged attacks by lowering it from -4 to -2.
*Then, they're giving you an actual cloak of winds ability up to 3 times/day. I'm not sure how long it lasts (unlimited?), but then you get to call out a couple more SIAC effects with a 3d10 lightning bolt (again, to make it "different" than the spell) and a gust of wind that can speed their movement (again so it's different).
*It seems to me that this designer had three very specific spell effects in mind. They then worried (rightly so) that they'd be dinged for SIAC. And then they made all sorts of adjustments to the spells so they'd operate a bit differently. I get their reasoning. I'm just kind of annoyed by it.
*Here's what I perceive, though. This designer really wants in the competition. They did their homework in reading about the auto-reject advice. They've worked hard on the presentation stuff (which is nearly perfect--still need a space between "gp" and the price/cost numbers). They've got a decent name by tying it to Golarion lore with the whole Eye of Abendego. I'm not sure if their pricing is spot-on, but with a number that specific, I'm sure they obsessed and worried over it. So, the real question is, given all that, is it worth rewarding this designer with an opportunity to prove their stuff in the actual competition? Or, is this item still viewed as too much of a SIAC or lacking in innovation to hold them back another year?
*I don't know. At the very least, I think we can move this to the Keep pile and give them hope by acknowledging their work paid off enough to get them there. But what I'd really like to see is some greater creativity and innovation. Show us something this item can do without relying quite so heavily on slightly tweaked spell descriptions.
*Weak Keep.
*It's cooler when Storm from the X-Men does it.
*Reject.
*This needs more mojo.
*Yes, the crafting is there. I agree, Neil. But what it lacks is what makes something Superstar.
*I can't give it a Keep, but I will add my thoughts to yours so that in the feedback thread they can see that we commend the craftsmanship but just need more Superstar mojo.
*Weak Reject.
*Good work, you got the technical stuff pretty well down, now we just need the innovation and creativity.
*For me, the problem is that it sorta replicates the cloak of winds spell, and even calls out that spell by name, but doesn't duplicate that spell's mechanics (the max wind affected is different, the ranged attack penalty is different). That just makes the item harder to remember. Like a glove that gives your weapon +1d4+1 fire damage and citing that it counts as and doesn't stack with the flaming property.
*Use standardized rules so the game isn't needlessly complex.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Keg of Unlimited Ale
*And who wouldn't want a keg of unlimited ale? Joyous applause all around.
*This item is really just poaching the Luck domain's "luck reroll" ability, courtesy of the Cayden Cailean connection. The maximized heroes' feast idea is mildly interesting, but not enough to salvage this design. The rest of it is just 75 gallons of ale everyday and a big auto-succeed bonus on Profession (innkeeper) checks (not exactly a skill that's in high demand for adventurers).
*For 22,500 gp, why not just buy this item and retire? No need to keep on adventuring. And I'm certain that element of this item would not please Cayden Cailean.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Also agree. Reject.
*Rejected.
Devilfish Bracers
*Ugh. It's just a bunch of monster abilities-in-a-can around an octopus/squid/devilfish/kraken theme. I'm not won over by it.
*Weak Reject.
*Oh man, maybe its the medication but I really like this. I love the Improved Dirty Trick requirement. The formatting is great. It might be under-costed, but not horribly so.
*This, I think, should be a top 32 item.
*Keep.
*No. It's several monsters in a can.
*It's a weapon not a wondrous item.
*Woah nellie is that a lot of mechanics!
*Reject.
*I'm not willing to golden ticket this at this time. So do what you gotta do.
*I like this item and its theme but I think it tries to do too much. Drag/trip/repo, poison when you grapple, and ink for a dirty trick (as a swift action)? And they used a lot of words describing a custom poison and repeating the poison rules when they could have just said "you can inject the target with X poison" (from the Core Rulebook).
*Tone it down, clean it up, submit again next year!
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Ceiling Hatch of Respite
*It's a well-written, well-presented rope trick-in-a-can. Still not Superstar, though.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agree. Reject.
*Rejected.
Sluggard’s Coffer
*"...feathery patters its lid"...?
*How big is this coffer if it can hold 50 cubic feet? I'd assume it must have an extradimensional space to do that, which isn't cited...and there's no secret chest spell requirement to indicate it. But, assuming that's what it's meant to be...i.e., a mobile bag of holding to pick up stuff you're either too lazy or cowardly to do yourself, this has got to be one of those items intended to protect someone from having to risk themselves in any actual adventuring. And it's a poorly crafted one at that.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
Spoiler:*The whole "surrounded by moderate winds" is straight out of the cloak of winds description, but they tried to tweak it to avoid SIAC territory by saying it holds up against hurricane-force winds as well. Then, they nerfed the penalty to ranged attacks by lowering it from -4 to -2.*Then, they're giving you an actual cloak of winds ability up to 3 times/day. I'm not sure how long it lasts (unlimited?), but then you get to call out a couple more SIAC effects with a 3d10 lightning bolt (again, to make it "different" than the spell) and a gust of wind that can speed their movement (again so it's different).
*It seems to me that this designer had three very specific spell effects in mind. They then worried (rightly so) that they'd be dinged for SIAC. And then they made all sorts of adjustments to the spells so they'd operate a bit differently. I get their reasoning. I'm just kind of annoyed by it.
*Here's what I perceive, though. This designer really wants in the competition. They did their homework in reading about the auto-reject advice. They've worked hard on the presentation stuff (which is nearly perfect--still need a space between "gp" and the price/cost numbers). They've got a decent name by tying it to Golarion lore with the whole Eye of Abendego. I'm not sure if their pricing is spot-on, but with a number that specific, I'm sure they obsessed and worried over it. So, the real question is, given all that, is it worth rewarding this designer with an opportunity to prove their stuff in the actual competition? Or, is this item still viewed as too much of a SIAC or lacking in innovation to hold them back another year?
*I don't know. At the very least, I think we can move this to the Keep pile and give them hope by acknowledging their work paid off enough to get them there. But what I'd really like to see is some greater creativity and innovation. Show us something this item can do without...
Thanks for the feedback, great feedback, and now I know what to really avoid next year. I knew it was probably too many little SIACs.
Hurdy Gurdy of Expeditious Banter
*It's "competence" bonus, not "competency." And the Gather Information skill is no longer a skill. It's a subset of Diplomacy now. The designer has also referenced Perform (string) as "perform (string)" and "Perform String"...both of which are incorrect.
*Then, we get a whole paragraph of useless backstory that's longer than the item's actual description and mechanics. And even then, the description of this item's origin comes across more like the player who just doesn't want to be bothered with all that mundane roleplaying to gather information from the locals while adventuring.
*Vote to Reject.
*There ISN'T a physical description for this item at all.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Gilded Clockwork Hummingbird
*Really poor writing/grammar in this descriptive text. And it's basically just a construct-in-a-can that gives you the Deflect Arrow feat. I don't really see the innovation here. And I'm not convinced this designer is ready.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*"The hummingbird cannot be physically attacked." Wrong.
*Reject.
*Rejected.