Official "Critique My Item" Thread


RPG Superstar™ 2012 General Discussion

151 to 200 of 1,111 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

Wow. People really jumped on this thread quick. Well, here's mine:

Binding oath of the faithful

Aura moderate varied; CL 10th
Slot —; Price 25,000 gp; Weight 3lbs.

This lengthy scroll is the testimony of a pious individual's adherence to their faith. The author has emphatically rewritten these claims many times , and its two slim, metal rollers are wrapped in yards of parchment.

With a spoken command word, the possessor tosses the scroll at an opponent, hitting with a successful ranged touch attack. The scroll unfurls and wraps about the target, entangling any creature of Large size or smaller until its possessor gives the command word to release the target and reroll itself. If the entangled opponent's alignment opposes the owner's along the Law/Chaos or Good/Evil axes, the writing blazes with light, doing 1d6 points of divine damage each round the opponent remains entangled. The conviction and fervor bound into the scroll provide it with preternatural strength. The entangled creature can tear free with a DC 25 Strength check (thereby destroying the scroll) or free itself with a DC 25 combat maneuver check or Escape Artist check . One other way to gain release from the scroll is to honestly surrender to the scroll's owner. If the captured opponent attempts to gain release through deception the words blaze brighter, doing 2d6 damage on any round the captive seeks release by lying. The binding oath of the faithful is useable once per day.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, discern lies, litany of entanglement, rebuke, creator must have 5 ranks in Craft (calligraphy); Cost 12,500 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Wow, that was a quick reply. :)
And a helpful one!
Not sure if I should do this, but since the feedback thread helps us improve our design-chops, I wanted to explain the reasoning behind some design decisions, in case the judges find the time to read this. ;)
I´m tot trying to justify the item; I do understand that the judges make excellent calls pointing out the flaws I couldn't spot. I´m spoilering it to avoid taking too much space in the thread.

DESIGNER NOTES:

Neil Spicer wrote:
Pedro Coelho wrote:
Skin Mask of Spell Meddling
*This is pretty darn powerful considering it has no limit. As long as you've got a spell of the same level as the target spell, you can sabotage or capture it...as an immediate action. This goes above and beyond counterspelling. And not in a good way, in my opinion.

I figured it wouldn't be a gamebreaker because of the "1/day" restriction. Since using items is usually a standard action, I struggled with the idea of making it an immediate action, and even considered making the wearer lose his next action, but the item's concept required the ability of an immediate response, so that's why I left it like that in the end. Again, because of the "1/day", I though I could give more options on spell selection than actual counterspellig.

Quote:
It's also needlessly complex. It would considerably slow down gameplay everytime this thing got invoked by a player as the GM has to determine the minimization of all the variable numeric effects of the original spell.

At first, I thought what might slow down play was a player making spellcraft checks all the time to identify the spells, but this kind of already happens in my group's games and it's not really that much of an issue. I didn't realize determining the minimzation would be too complex because in general the variables are duration (varying according to caster level) and dice rolls (the GM would quickly assume all dice come out "1", right?). Or maybe I'm using Maximize Spell wrong... ugh :P

Quote:
*I also really hate the name.

Argh... this is really hard for me, being a non-native speaker, because I don't really get if the name sounds strange or cool. Any tips on this?

Quote:
*Minimum damage on an enemy spell 1/day is pretty cool.

Yup, I thought so! It works well on reducing enemy clerics' healing spells, too. Too bad I couldn't make a better item exploring this idea (and now it is gone...)

Quote:
*I'm not really sure what the "Alternatively..." paragraph lets you do. "the spell previously chosen by the wearer"... huh? The one you expended to meddle with your opponent's spell?

Well, just to clarify, since it is an either/or (minimze or switch) effect, I was trying to set the order of use like this: choose spell (within its restrictions), expend spell, then decide to either minimize or switch.

Quote:
*DC based on user's HD/ability mods? No thank you.

From the moment I submitted, this was my greatest fear. I was trying to convey a way to keep the item useful at higher levels, and kind of based the DC in the Stealspell ability from the Sandman archetype. A fixed DC (as per norm) would render it useless from a certain level and up. I take it that items with effects that require saves are meant to work within a certain level range, is that correct or not necessarily?

Quote:

*Reject.

*Rejected.

Indeed, it was. There's always next year, though. And I´m really happy I got a longer debate with this one than with last year's item.

Thanks again.


Forgive me if the format doesn't exactly match my actual post. I did not realize I wouldn't get the actual submitted code back to review for this critique thread and, at the last minute, I realized the submission engine disabled bbcode for tables. The APG item whose core mechanic I used uses a table. (I hope that did not immediately disqualify me, at least.)

Bow Sheath of the Exotic Hunt:

Bow Sheath of the Exotic Hunt
Aura faint divination; CL 5th
Slot shoulders; Price 900 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
Once per day, when drawing a bow from this sheath, the wearer can choose to imbue the bow with the ability to fire arrows as though made of a special material or aligned for the purposes of overcoming damage reduction. The bow can fire arrows that overcome up to 5 points of a single specific type of creature’s damage reduction. When fired, the arrows provide visible clues to a creature’s damage reduction, the arrows appear to transform into the special material (or materials) required or become etched with the holy symbols of deities with the appropriate alignment. The duration of this power depends on the type of damage reduction to be overcome:
  • Special material such as cold iron: 10 rounds
  • Alignment based: 5 rounds
  • Multiple special materials: 3 rounds
  • Special material and alignment: 1 round

Should the bow or ammunition fired already possess one or more of the properties required to overcome an affected target’s damage reduction, then the duration is modified appropriately. To activate, either the type of creature must be visible to the wearer, or the creature’s type must be spoken aloud. The sheath’s power has no effect on creatures that do not have damage reduction, have damage reduction that cannot be overcome, or have damage reduction that is overcome by something other than special materials or alignment.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, locate weakness and align weapon; Cost 450 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 7

Seeing some of the comments from Neil, I've got a pretty good idea what they probably said about mine. To the point where I doubt all the judges saw it. Going over this thread and seeing what was rejected, I have to say my item simply wasn't interesting, even to me, after reading these. I also suspect the permanent effect of altering something that there isn't really a game mechanic for beyond selecting a homeland might have hurt me in the long run. The pricing was more of a "what do other things like this cost" than a formula, which would have put this in the upper 5-digit range, which made it ridiculous, so the price may have been an issue. And the fact that it's a utilitarian "camp item" as I have seen them called here, also, I'm sure, sent this to the early reject tier. That said, I'm curious, and if you get time, Neil, I'd like to see if my criticisms are on the mark.

The Traveler's Trowel:

Traveler's Trowel
Aura Moderate divination; CL 6
Slot -; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lbs.
Description
This small digging implement has a pointed silver scoop blade, an ivory handle, and is usually accompanied by a fine canvas carrying pouch. By using the trowel to dig into the soil, the user taps into the magical essence of the land. By mixing this dirt in a receptacle such as the pouch, and placing a pinch of it on his tongue, the user becomes bonded to the land as if born to it, able to speak, read, and write in the local language. He speaks with the accent of the locality the soil is from. His original native language is forgotten. This effect is permanent, but may be undone with a limited wish or a wish, or he may return to his own country of origin and use the trowel there. If multiple languages are spoken in the region where the soil is taken, the most common language becomes the user’s new native tongue.
For the effect to work, the soil dug up by the trowel must be used within five minutes of its removal, and cannot be taken more than a mile from the place where it was dug. Enough soil can be gathered in this way for up to six people per day to benefit from its effect. A user who was incapable of speech before using the trowel does not gain the ability to speak, but may still read and write in the new language if he was capable of doing so in his original language.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, tongues, 5 ranks in Linguistics; Cost 6,000 gp

And

the flavor text I didn't include:

Essential to explorers and world travelers, no one who spends any time outside his own native country should be without it. Other adventurers often appraise one another on having one or not. It is not uncommon for a successful world traveler to be described by his peers as someone who "really knows where his trowel is."
Spoiler:
Just kidding.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

I saw that the other alternate put his item up here, so I figured I should too. I'm hoping that I can see some of the remarks from the judges that might help me with my alternate entry for the next round.

Thanks.

Gloves of Item Domination
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 7th
Slot hands; Price 9,500 gp; Weight --
Description
These close-fitting gloves, usually made from dark silk and sewn with mithral thread, are crafted to assist the wearer in utilizing aligned items and dominating intelligent items.
While in contact with an aligned magic item that inflicts damage or imposes a penalty on a character with a different alignment, the gloves of item domination grant a Will saving throw to mitigate the negative effects. The DC of the save is equal to the item's Caster Level +5. This saving throw must be made every time the item is picked up, donned, wielded, or otherwise manipulated. The effect of a successful save varies depending on the punishment of the item.
• If the item imparts negative levels, the gloves suppress 1d4 levels.
• If the item inflicts damage, the gloves reduce the damage by one-half.
The gloves also assist a character in controlling intelligent magic items. Anytime a personality conflict occurs with an intelligent item, the character gains a +4 resistance bonus to his Will save. If he fails the first check, he may choose to immediately make a second Will save, but without the +4 bonus. If the character fails the second save, neither of the gloves' abilities function for 24 hours. If the intelligent item also imparts penalties on characters of an incorrect alignment, these penalties are applied immediately.
Gloves of item domination cannot force a magic item to grant an ability tied to a requirement other than alignment, such as the additional abilities displayed by a holy avenger when wielded by a paladin.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, protection from good or evil, resistance, charm monster; Cost 4,750 gp

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

No clam this year Clark...

Gloves of the Impossible Bottle
AuraFaint Transmutation CL 5th
Slot Hands Price 1500gp Weight -

Description
When Equipped, these very thin translucent silk gloves conform to fit the hands like a second skin. On command, once per day, the wearer can place his hands through solid glass. The glass barrier must be non-magical, and be no more than one inch thick. Only the hands and wrists, which the gloves cover, are allowed to penetrate the glass. While inside the glass, spells can be cast as if the barrier were not between the target and the caster, and skill checks requiring the hands are made without penalty. In addition to this, a single item of up to one pound of non-living material, can be carried through the glass. The item must be small enough to fit in one of the wearers hands. Once the gloves are placed through the glass, movement of the hands more than one foot in any direction causes the glove's magic to end. The duration is 10 minutes, or until one of the gloves is removed. If the magic of the gloves is suppressed, or it's duration ends, the wearer's hands are ejected from the glass with no ill effects. Both gloves must be worn for the magic to be effective.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Meld into Stone or Pass Wall, Prestidigitation
Cost 750gp

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 aka Cydeth

Neil Spicer wrote:
Cydeth wrote:
Chalice of Eternal Fire
*snip*

Hmm. I didn't realize people would think of it as similar to an artifact, but there you go. Different views for different people. In any case, thanks for the info, and it's something to chew on while I see if I get pulled in for round 2.

*bows deeply*


Neil Spicer wrote:
benjover wrote:
Gibber Bane

*Ouch. I hope you have some thick skin. We were not kind.

*A hair ball? Your Superstar submission idea is a hair ball?

*Vote to Reject.

*(No saving throw, too... ancient red dragon has to spend a standard action clearing its mouth so it can use its 20d10 breath weapon.)

*Reject.

*Rejected.

But it was a really cool hairball! :D Thank you Neil, I'll try and steer away from "gross" stuff in the future. And I do have thick skin...covered in thick manly man hair. :D Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Also I would like to thank anybody else that might have some more detailed criticism on my item.


Sash of the Daredevil
Aura moderate evocation; CL 9th
Slot belt; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
Made of fine white cloth, this sash is initially bland. The length of the band soon becomes lined with pictograms denoting the audacious exploits of its owner. Twice per day, when the wearer successfully engages in a risky task and chooses to take advantage of the sash, the item furnishes the proprietor with a bonus hero point that must be spent within three rounds. Wearer must declare the use of the sash before taking the action that would unlock the bonus hero point, but failure at the chosen task does not count against the item’s daily use limit.

Eligible risky tasks include meaningful uses of the following skills:

Acrobatics
Climb
Ride
Swim

In this context, the minimum DC for a task to count as risky is 20. Lower skill-use DCs denote tasks that are insufficiently bold to activate the item.

The risk deriving from skill-use must be real to trigger the item. This means that potential failure at the task must carry significant consequences for the owner, such as taking damage from falling off a tall cliff, drowning in raging waters, not making the jump across a deep chasm, losing control of a mount right next to the hostile villain and so on. If in doubt, the GM remains the ultimate arbiter of what constitutes meaningful consequences and whether the particular task is sufficiently risky to qualify.

A character cannot have more than one hero point derived from this item at a time, but the bonus hero point does not count against the normal limit of maximum simultaneous hero points.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, heroic fortune; Cost 7,000 gp

I really appreciate the time you take to critique my item. You have my thanks!

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Cheers and thanks.

Kamikaze Candle
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot —; Price 750 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.

Repeated Draconic runes translating as 'firefly' encircle the base of this fat green candle. Closer examination reveals several moth-like corpses perfectly preserved within the wax. It sizzles audibly when lit and burns weakly, barely enough to dimly illuminate a 5-foot square. However, the light glimmers irresistibly to insects; when held aloft in one hand and left to burn uninterrupted for one round, a benign swarm of luminous moths and reflective flies appear and begin circling the bearer. Not only does this swarm provide normal illumination in a 30-foot radius, but their drifting bodies grant the bearer and all creatures within 5 feet partial concealment (20% miss chance), in addition to a -40 penalty to Stealth checks. If the swarm is damaged or subjected to a strong wind, it disperses, but reforms at the beginning of the bearer's next turn. The swarm harmlessly dissipates in one round should the candle be extinguished.

As a standard action, the bearer may command an established swarm to self-immolate. Immediately, all insects launch themselves at the flame, incinerating the candle in the process, and hurl their burning carcasses at up to four targets within 30 feet. Each target struck takes 2d4 fire damage (Reflex DC 14 half) and any target taking at least 1 point of damage must make a Will save (DC 10 + damage taken) or immediately provoke a melee attack of opportunity from all allies in range. A target may be struck multiple times; in this case, the fire damage stacks, but the Will DC does not increase past 20.

A kamikaze candle burns for thirty minutes if left unmolested, and never functions underwater.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, glitterdust, summon swarm; Cost 375 gp


IvanSanchez wrote:
benjover wrote:
Gibber Bane

I'd rather see something that would apply to a witch with the animate hair hex. Also, looks like silence-in-a-can.

I was kind thinking of this as a witch item. Perhaps if I crafted it specifically for witches and made it some thing other than a "hair ball", I would have done better. Thanks, Ivan. :)

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka primemover003

Capricious Gangplank
Aura moderate enchantment and transmutation; CL 11th
Slot --; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
Carved with grotesque, sneering, goblin visages and set with iron chains this 10 foot darkwood gangplank is often used by pirates and slavers to board seafaring vessels. Once per week, upon command, the gangplank animates for 10 minutes, extending up to 30 feet attaching to another ships deck or railing with its chains and gnashing, wooden jaws.

The capricious gangplank shouts rude battle cries granting heroism to friendly creatures that can hear it for 1 minute after activation. In addition any bardic performance started to accompany the gangplank's riotous cacophony produces a dirge of doom against enemy creatures within 30 feet of the attached end each round the performance is maintained.

Creatures from an enemy ship attempting to break, cross, or dislodge the capricious gangplank are met with whipping chains and snapping goblin teeth. Treat these as attacks of opportunity using the dirty trick combat maneuver with a CMB +12 imposing the entangled condition if successful. Dislodging the gangplank requires a bull rush against CMD 19. The gangplank has AC 17, 20 hit points, and hardness 5.

During combat there is a cumulative 1% chance each round the chaotic spirits imbued within the capricious gangplank mutiny, lashing out at all creatures. The gangplank also refuses to release either ship for its remaining duration or until dislodged. The capricious gangplank must spend one week aboard a ship attuning itself to a friendly crew before it begins to work. If it is removed, becomes dislodged, or mutinies it requires another week aboard ship to reattune itself.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Improved Dirty Trick, animate objects, heroism, bardic performance ability; Cost 5,000 gp

For the amusement and amazement of the Paizo community I give to you... probably a MIAC.

--Vrock the boat


I later realized I took the do not fill up wordcount advice way too far and overcorrected.
GLOVES OF THE ACCURATE BOMBER
Aura faint transmutation ; CL 3rd
Slot Hands; Price 3,000 gp; Weight
Description
These elbow length leather gloves appear worn and stained with chemicals while remaining flexible. The gloves usually have a smell similar to a mix of smoke and vinegar. Whenever the wearer uses the throw splash weapon special attack and misses his target square or intersection the splash weapon lands one square closer to the target. In addition, if the wearer has the precise bombs discovery treat his intelligence as two points higher for determining the number of squares he can exclude from splash damage. Both gloves must be worn for the magic to be effective.
Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, cat's grace, longshot ; Cost 1,500 gp


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Naturally, I saw several things I didn't like about my item immediately after sending it in, I'd love it if I could find even more things I missed. Thanks, guys!

Lich’s Flask
Aura Strong Necromancy; CL 17th
Slot --; Price 175,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
A devious favorite of necromancers, the lich’s flask drinks in the soul of anyone who puts his lips to its mouth (Will DC 23 negates). Such a victim is unaware of the transfer, and functions as normal. The flask may only contain one soul at a time. Once a soul is consumed, the holder of the flask may cast both dominate person (Will DC 19), and finger of death (Fort DC 21) once per day on the owner of the soul using different command words, except the range for either effect is 100 miles. Another command word releases the soul to its owner. A living humanoid can also use the flask as a lesser phylactery, enabling the use of resurrection if the humanoid’s body is completely destroyed. In the event that both the body and phylactery of a lich the flask is attuned to are destroyed, the flask can destroy the soul within (killing its possessor) and transfer the lich’s soul to the flask, making it into a new phylactery. The lich the flask is attuned to is chosen by the creator at the flask’s creation, and may not be changed. If the flask is destroyed, the soul within immediately returns to its owner. If someone whose soul is trapped in a lich’s flask dies, any spell used to return his body to life such as raise dead, resurrection, or true resurrection must be cast on the flask, not the body. The flask has the same hp, hardness, and break DC of a phylactery.
Construction
Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, soul bind, magic jar, finger of death, dominate person; Cost 87,500

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

By the way, I am going to cherry pick and not necessarily go in order. I will comment on a few that stuck out to me. But we will get to all of them. If I don't, Neil and Sean will!

Thanks everyone for participating. I think this part of the contest is awesome--see, the winners get something (the contest) and the entrants who didn't advance get something too!

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Wicht wrote:

Stubborn Nail

Ha! I liked this one. In fact, I put it in the keep pile. So you initially made it into the keep pile. That means you've got good design.

Also, I really liked how the check DC included the hardness of the item the nail was pressed into. That was fun and really well thought out.

Here are my unedited comments:

I just don't like real world names, or in this case phrases. What, are we going to have a "Straw that broke the camel's back" next, followed by a "bridge too far" or "cart that goes before the horse". It's not clever, its lame.

What is this for, really? Grapples, pins, someone else then pushes this nail through their armor into the floor and thus locks the guy into place. That is the only real game use for this. I just dont want my combats to become that. Pathfinder did a good job streamlining grapples and stuff like that with CMB, etc, but this is not what I want.

That said, I think the mechanic is inventive--DC equals 10 plus hardness. So if nailed to paper or wood is different than pulling out of stone. Makes sense and its simple.

Even though I have two big strikes against this entry, I love the simplicity of the mechanic and he got the template right.

======

So you can see, we spend a good deal of time discussing and commenting on items that dont make the top 32.

=======

Neil liked it, too. He spent time comparing it to an immovable rod--that is something we judges do alot, compare your items to similar items that already exist. If the existing item fills the design space, what is the point of your item? That is what we would ask. But Neil (and I) both felt it was different and fun.

Neil was heartened by the amount of attention given to using the template correctly. That said, he felt the item kind of retreads some ground that the immovable rod covers and it's more of a utilitarian item than something with powerful mojo. He gave it a weak keep.

Sean and Ryan disagreed. Ryan thought, essentially, that 24k for a nail was too much and he felt the item had some weaknesses in the writing. Sean similarly felt this ground was too close to the immovable rod, which is a DC 30 check and is only 5k gp.

Bottom line: this one got close. In fact, I "almost" golden ticketed it as my alternate. But I didn't.

I would take away a couple key points from this item as an example:

1. The item has a neat core idea.
2. Use a good simple mechanics that are creative and not stale. A fixed DC 25 check and I likely wouldnt have been attracted to this item. The fact you used hardness in the DC was fun.
3. Be careful with names. I didn't like the "real world phrase" that the name takes from. Granted, this criticism may not be universal, but it is something to think about.
4. Beware of how your item plays with other items that do similar things.
5. Using the format right matters. Your excellent use of the template got you into the keep pile. Your technical execution of the item was very good, and that is worth something. While your idea was good and fun, it was not awesome (which is what cost you the ticket from my view). What got you initially sorted into the keep folder was that you did such a great job with the template, that tells me you have the mojo to be a freelancer and follow those kinds of instructions.

So lots of good things to take away from this. Come back strong next year.


This actually is not quite what I submitted (I had it tighter in word and rules), but the save file I have won't open (grr), so this is an older save file I had as backup...and I don't want to go back and re-tool it quite as much right now.

Is there a place we can find our submissions on Paizo now that the competition general call is over?

Looking for feedback, obviously, on what your response was.

Key of the planar merchant
Aura moderate evocation; CL
Slot --; Price 23,100 gp, 31,500 gp, 53,100gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This is an extraordinarily heavy golden skeleton key, even though it appears hollow. It's structure is a latticework of gold wiring, in swirls and other intricate designs. It may be used on any doorway with a lock in the door, or attached to the door.

The key must be attuned to a lock before using it. This involves inserting the key into the lock and waiting for 1 hour. Every time the key is used, it must be attuned, even if it has previously been used with that lock. As the key attunes, it slowly becomes a solid golden key. When the key is used on a lock, it adjusts its size and shape to fit the lock.

Once the key is attuned, the door may be opened. Inside is a twenty by twenty foot room, with a simple yet high-quality desk of some extra-planar wood, with a large ledger on it. Behind the desk is an astute gentlemen wearing finely crafted robes, with the head of an eagle. He speaks all languages, and introduces himself as the clerk.

You may sell up to four items per day to the clerk.

The key may be used once per day, and you may only sell up to the limit allowed. The creature will return with your preference of coins or gems in 24 hours. He will get you 50% of the value of all items given to him. He will not bring you back items, only payments.

He will also act as a bank for you, storing and taking care of your monies.

Other versions exist. A minor key of the planar merchant can exchange up to two items per day, at a 40% value. A major key of the planar merchant can exchange up to six items per day, at 60% value.

If attacked, the creature teleports away. If destroyed, banished or anything else of the sort, he reforms 24 hours later.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Comprehend languages, Rope trick, Planar binding, lesser Key of the planar merchant, greater Key of the planar merchant Cost 23,100 gp, 31,500 gp, 53,100 gp.

Dark Archive Contributor , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Boxhead

Okay, I'm a little curious. I'm pretty sure it just wasn't Superstar enough...

Gauntlets of the Stampeding Herd
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 6th
Slot Hands; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Rune-carved aurochs’ horn reinforce these oversized leather gauntlets. Deep sigils engraved in the ivory allow the wearer to strike with the power of a herd of stampeding animals. The wearer ignores all penalties for using an inappropriately sized weapon (i.e., -2 per size category difference). The wearer can only use a weapon that a wielder of her size could normally use (i.e., a medium-sized wearer could use a large-sized one-handed weapon in two hands with no penalty, or a huge-sized light weapon in two hands with no penalty, but could not use a large-sized two-handed weapon at all). The wearer does not increase her reach with these gauntlets.
Additionally, these gauntlets grant the wearer the ability to make slam attacks as a monster of one size category larger than her actual size. She also counts as one size category larger for any combat maneuver checks she makes. Monks wearing these gauntlets count as one size category larger for their unarmed attacks.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bull’s strength, enlarge person; Cost 5,000 gp


Neil Spicer wrote:
Matt Spectre wrote:
Philosopher’s Apple

*Brace yourself. We blew off some steam assessing this one...

*"Feint" conjuration? Really? Wow.

*Do you really need to describe an apple as a "spheroid with...a slight dimple..." and "a squat azure crystal stem"...? C'mon. Just call it an apple made of adamantine!

*Ugh. A gravity item. Makes reference to "Planar Adventures rules." Yuck.

*How does the apple know how to strike "the last user" after it "implodes and disappears" before falling from the sky? And after it does, you suddenly become all Sir Isaac Newton and discover the principles of gravity? Can you say "joke item"...?

*Then, the Arcanamirium awards these items to those who excel in Planar Studies. LOL. Yeah, right. That's pretty much the only way you can get one, I guess.

*Good gracious. This thing is all kinds of messed up.

*Let it fall into the inescapable gravity well of a blackhole and never be heard from again.

*Vote. To. Reject.

*Reject.

*I'm not going to wait for our fellow colleagues. There is no way either of them would keep this.

*I was confused at first, wondering how this related to the philosopher's stone. Then I realized it's referring to Isaac Newton. :p

*Rejected.

Thank you for the criticism. I will use it towards improving my design skills for next year.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Michael Cummings wrote:

This year was my first attempt at a submission for the RPG Superstar contest - any feedback/criticism is appreciated to help me start preparing for next year:

Swifttouch Gloves
Aura faint necromancy; CL 3rd
Slot hands; Price 7,200 gp; Weight

Michael,

Good try for a first shot, but I think perhaps you needed to do a bit more homework. Had you done so, you would have seen our repeated comment not to put backstory into your item.

My comments (edited) were:

You were well on your way to creating an actual wondrous item. Description sentence. Activation and powers. Not exciting, but serviceable. And then it happens. You just couldn't resist, could you?

REJECT

I voted to reject because of the huge backstory paragraph. Here is a challenge--find a wondrous item in the core rule book that has that. You can't. It doesn't exist.

Neil echoed my concerns. As he always does, though, he added a few more really important observations:

First, after joining in my criticism of the backstory stuff, he noted that the Whispering Tyrant is the penultimate villain of Golarion and he had a hard time believing this was one of his favored items. I think he's got plenty more powerful mojo to bring to bear.

As for the core idea of the item itself, swift action empowerment in a wondrous item seems to just play to the desire to get off your touch spells more quickly. Wondrous items generally require an action to use. That's part of the built-in economy of actions in the game...i.e., the game is supposed to be about hard choices between which actions to take. This item lets you avoid having to make that kind of choice. And not in a way that's good for the game.

This one was a clear reject for us. Only Neil and I reviewed it and we both rejected it.

So some things to take away:

1. Good first try!
2. NO BACKSTORY!
3. Do a little more homework on some of our advice threads, that would have helped you.
4. If your item helps you do something better or faster or break a rule, think about why that rule or restriction is there. There may be a good design reason for it (there usually is) and if you are going to break it that has implications. We can generally tell when a designer is conscious of the design issues he or she is tinkering with and when they dont. This is a good example of an item where we thought, right or wrong, that you were just trying to do something rad rather than consciously impacting the economy of actions.

Good luck and come back strong next year!

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Matt Banach wrote:

Judges - Thank you for - as always - being so generous with your time, insight, and effort. Humbly, I pray for wisdom...

Entroposphere
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Price 30,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description

This fractured crystalline globe is 9 inches in diameter and rests on a squat helical stand of glittering mica. Inside the transparent outer sphere, a framework of concentric copper rings whirl in orbit about a central orb of lead flecked with diamond dust. While in use, the sphere hisses, pops, and thrums discordantly as webs of thin cracks spread and recede rhythmically across the crepitating surface of the globe.

Matt, thanks for posting. Nice to see you back by the way!

Neil briefly championed your item. He initially voted to Keep it. Sean and I both voted Reject. Though I have to admit your item got caught in the crossfire of some theoretical judge discussion about the term entropy and whether it should be in the game--Neil noting there is a spell called entropic shield so it is already in the game, Sean saying that is just more proof it should be renamed chaotic shield. But none of that really mattered to your item. In the end, all of us (even Neil was convinced of this) felt that an item that just played around with item hardness wasnt that superstar.

You made it into Tier II: Good but not good enough. This was probably good execution of an average idea. It just needed more "Superstar"-y-ness. The core idea just wasnt that entertaining and dressing it up with some sizzly special effects doesnt hide that fault.

So, good work. You got (temporarily) one judge to vote to keep your item. So you are on the right track. Which is not surprising since this isnt your first rodeo...

A few things to take away:

1. Make sure the underlying idea is superstar. Here, you are just raising or lowering hardness by 5. That's not really that exciting. I'm not saying it cant be superstar, but this wasnt. Along those lines, Sean made an interesting observation: "half of this item's abilities are something you get from a spell that's so unimportant that even though we published it in the old Golarion campaign setting, we didn't bother to update/convert it to the PFRPG in any sourcebook."
2. Pay attention to construction requirements. Neil thought (and I agree) that you should have either had shatter in addition to or in place of disintegrate. We thought disintegrate was a bit much.
3. Be careful not to confuse cool special effects with good design. Like gravy, if you pour awesome gravy over overcooked meat, its still a bad meal. Not saying you were there. But you can't cover up average design with great special effects. This isnt the best example of that, but you may hear me say that several times. I saw it frequently this year--a mid to good idea but dressed up in special effects.

Come back strong next year and I bet you will make the cut again!


I have a feeling this year I went too big, and it was still too SAIC...but I'd like feedback anyway. I had a theme in mind and I just kept adding, which added more to the price....

Tempest of Abendego
Aura moderate abjuration and evocation; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 77,900gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This is a large deep blue opal pendant in an adamantine setting with seven mithral Azlanti glyphs. Tiny mithral wires crisscross the face of the gemstone connecting to minuscule platinum coils beneath each glyph. When viewed closely, the dark swirling clouds of a tempest can be seen brimming within.

The wearer is constantly surrounded by moderate winds. The wearer is never checked by, or blown away by, winds of hurricane strength or less, and ranged attack rolls suffer a -2 penalty. This effect may be suppressed at will.

The wearer may, upon command, surround himself in a cloak of winds, up to three times per day. While a cloak of winds is active, as an immediate action, the wearer may draw on the power of the storm within for one of the following effects. The user may either call a bolt of lightning from the amulet as lightning bolt for 3d10 damage (up to 9 bolts per day), or gust of wind up to three times per day. The wearer may choose to be pushed or lifted by the gust of wind, making a move of up to 60 feet in a straight line in any direction.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, call lightning storm, cloak of winds, gust of wind Cost 38,950gp


Neil Spicer wrote:
Lars Lundberg wrote:
Tome of Vile Training

*It's an archetype-in-a-can and a template-in-a-can...for your familiar? I guess someone really wanted to have an archetype round this year and found a way to squeeze it into their wondrous item submission. This isn't the place to explore this type of mechanic.

*Also, I'm annoyed that they left off "Construction" above "Requirements"...and, if they can bold the headers, they should know enough to italicize the spell names and capitalize "Medium" in the descriptive text as game terminology.

*Vote to Reject.

*This isn't an item. It's a familiar modification procedure. And while I like the idea, that's not the point. This is NOT a wondrous item.

*Reject.

*Rejected.

I tried to think outside the coffin (I hate boxes) on this item. I wasn't intentionally trying to circumvent the RPG Superstar contest by bringing in my own "archetype-in-a-can. I saw this as an opportunity to add some depth to a feature of the game (familiars) by using a method which was unconventional. Manuals and Tomes are standard in the PHB. They just provide a boring bonus to a stat. I thought I would tweak that and make the possibility of adding something truly interesting. Thanks for your look. I know better now. Special thanks to either Sean, Clark or Ryan, which ever one of you Medium-sized designers that said you liked the idea.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6 aka Evil Paul

Hello Judges,

I'm quite new to the Paizo boards n'stuff and found out about the existence of RPGSS literally two hours or so before the submission deadline. I was like WOOOT!!

So I read the rules, and Sean's advice thread, and then hastily came up with this, submitted with about 30 mins to go or something...

Keg of Unlimited Ale:

Keg of Unlimited Ale
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot unslotted; Price 19,500 gp; Weight 30 lbs (empty), 630 lbs (full).
Description
This well made barrel is treasured by followers of Cayden Cailean and ale-lovers across Golarion. The keg can be tapped and used to fill a mug with ale. If at least 2 pints are drunk from the keg over a 60 minute period, then the keg grants a “luck reroll” to the drinker. This can be used within the next 4 hours as an immediate action to reroll any attack roll, save or skill check (even after seeing the result). An individual cannot use this effect more than once per day, though an unused luck reroll can be regained. The keg holds 75 gallons of ale, enough for 600 pints. It is not unlimited per se, but refills itself to the brim every midnight, often to the joyous cries of those nearby. If the beer is tapped and drunk as part of a heroes' feast, the heroes' feast is maximized (as per the Maximize Spell feat) for each drinker. If installed as part of a tavern or similar drinking establishment, the keg grants a +10 competence bonus to Profession (innkeeper) to the owner.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Profession (cooper) 4 ranks, heroes’ feast, crafter must be a follower of Cayden Cailean; Cost 9,250 gp

Having read more threads later, I found out that beer items are among the things that are not liked. So I'm keen to find out if my item was rejected primarily because of the theme, or because of the mechanics, or something else.

Many thanks for this and all the board presence you guys have.


Id like to thank the judges for all the time you put into this, it truly must be a labor of love and I look forward to your comments.

Bracers, Devilfish
Aura moderate conjuration and necromancy; CL 8th
Slot wrists; Price 13,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These tarnished bronze bracers channel the savage tactics of the kraken, devilfish and other horrors of the deep. The wearer may, as part of any unarmed drag, grapple, reposition or trip combat maneuver, have rubbery black tentacles spring from their arms, treating their natural reach as if it was 10 feet greater. While using this ability, if the wearer successfully preforms a drag combat maneuver they may choose to bring the target to the nearest unoccupied adjacent square before executing the maneuver.
Whenever the wearer successfully maintains a grapple they may choose to inject their target with a poison, instead of one of the normally available options. This poison deals 1d2 Strength damage per round for 6 rounds. A poisoned creature can make a DC 16 Fortitude save each round to negate the damage. Two saves are needed to end the affliction. Multiple injections increase the duration by 3 rounds and the add +2 to the save DC for each additional injection.
The wearer may also once per minute as a swift action produce a thin 15 foot line of black ink. The wearer may use this ink to perform, as a swift action against a single target, a ranged dirty trick to blind or nauseate. While underwater the ink instead creates a 5-foot-radius black cloud that provides total concealment and persists for 1 minute.
Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, Improved Dirty Trick, black tentacles, poison; Cost 6,500 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Cheapy wrote:

I'm guessing Swiss Army Knife!

Astrolabe of the Mesmerizing Heavens
Aura medium illusion; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 12,320 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
This intricate brass astrolabe is embossed with motifs of the firmament, and can conjure forth a representation of the cosmos.

Good news! Yours was the only astrolabe that was submitted this year!

Kidding aside, I didnt get to review this. Neil, Sean and Ryan rejected it before I read it. They didn't say much other than hitting the reject button. One of them said something like "Good lord. No." Not quite sure what exactly set them off, they didn't say.

On my read, here are my thoughts: I dont have the same reaction, but still the item is troubling. For me, it does too much. The "concentrates for me while I cast another spell" probably pushed it over the edge for me. That is a BIG power. This one was a "clear reject" for the judges, and I would have agreed.

That said, though, there are still some things to take away:

1. I see your theme, and that is something good to go for. Nice work on that. And an astrolabe is the kind of strange item that is neat and doesnt seem like you are just showing off picking some strange thing no one has ever heard of. So good work finding and theme and a good item to tie it to.
2. Be real careful with items that break some of the big rules. Getting to cast an extra spell instead of concentrate is a pretty big thing.
3. Watch your construction requirements. Hyptnotic pattern only? Really? You sure about that?
4. Don't try to do too much. This is a fascinate item, then its an extra spell item, then its a skill bonus item.
5. I liked the name!

Good try. Give it a shot again next year!


Thanks for the feedback. I'm guessing this was marked SIAC, but I hoped my twist on it would make it likable. I also wanted to talk a rarely used spell and use it for something different.

Ceiling Hatch of Respite
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This 3-foot-by-3-foot square frame and hatch offers adventurers a place to hide and rest. The hatch is activated by placing the back of the frame against a flat ceiling. For the next nine hours the frame is attached to the ceiling and the hatch can be opened, revealing a 10 foot tall folding attic ladder and an opening into an extra-dimensional space similar to the one in Rope Trick. People inside can pull up the folding ladder and close the hatch. The item deactivates when the nine hours have passed, if the hatch is turned sideways or upside-down, or if the hatch is destroyed. Anything inside the extra-dimensional space when that happens drops out.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Rope Trick; Cost 4,000 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Damien McGurrell wrote:

My thanks for the feedback,

The Kingfisher’s Cloak
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 6th
Slot shoulders; Price 6500 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This feathered cloak is iridescent blue with a lining of brilliant orange and glints faintly when wet. The garment allows the wearer to mimic the hunting style of the kingfisher. The cloak grants the user the hold breath special quality; when making use of this ability the user’s vision is unimpeded by water. Any piercing weapon, either melee or thrown, wielded by the wearer is unaffected by penalties relating to underwater combat.

Once per day as a standard action, the wearer of the cloak may emerge from a body of water in an impressive display, spraying water droplets and color in all directions. For 1 round upon emerging the user may fly 60ft (as the spell fly) with a +5 bonus to the Fly skill during this movement. Creatures within 30ft of the emerging user become dazzled for 1 round (Will DC 16 negates).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fly, water breathing; Cost 3250 gp

Damien

This one got three rejects, so it was a clear reject for us. I'll share our thinking with you. We (Sean, Neil and I) all though the benefits from bursting from the water was a bit strange. Plus, it seemed to be just a variant of a helm of underwater action in many ways. Neil was concerned, and I agreed, that the most potent element to this item is the ability to wield weapons (melee or thrown) underwater without any penalty and we wondered why isn't freedom of movement getting invoked for that rather than water breathing? We all felt this was not as well thought through in terms of abilities and existing game mechanics and items as a superstar idea should be. We felt you weren't quite ready.

Some things to take away:

1. Be careful of the overly descriptive bits that wound up being a strange limitation. Seriously, a couple of the powers are only used when you come bursting forth from the water? How often does that happen? Most adventurers are either in and underwater adventure or in an above ground adventure. PCs bursting forth doesnt happen that much. I think your flowery writing and desire to create a visual wound up limiting your item.
2. I've said it before, but really take care to compare your item to existing items that do similar things--in your case the helm of underwater action.
3. All that said, you did pretty well with the format and template where many others did not. Good formatting. That shows you have the technical ability to be a freelancer. Now you just need the right item that isnt limited in gameplay and use and isnt too similar to another pre-existing item.

Come back strong next year!

Marathon Voter Season 6

Clark Peterson wrote:
Cheapy wrote:

I'm guessing Swiss Army Knife!

Astrolabe of the Mesmerizing Heavens
Aura medium illusion; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 12,320 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
This intricate brass astrolabe is embossed with motifs of the firmament, and can conjure forth a representation of the cosmos.

Good news! Yours was the only astrolabe that was submitted this year!

Kidding aside, I didnt get to review this. Neil, Sean and Ryan rejected it before I read it. They didn't say much other than hitting the reject button. One of them said something like "Good lord. No." Not quite sure what exactly set them off, they didn't say.

On my read, here are my thoughts: I dont have the same reaction, but still the item is troubling. For me, it does too much. The "concentrates for me while I cast another spell" probably pushed it over the edge for me. That is a BIG power. This one was a "clear reject" for the judges, and I would have agreed.

That said, though, there are still some things to take away:

1. I see your theme, and that is something good to go for. Nice work on that. And an astrolabe is the kind of strange item that is neat and doesnt seem like you are just showing off picking some strange thing no one has ever heard of. So good work finding and theme and a good item to tie it to.
2. Be real careful with items that break some of the big rules. Getting to cast an extra spell instead of concentrate is a pretty big thing.
3. Watch your construction requirements. Hyptnotic pattern only? Really? You sure about that?
4. Don't try to do too much. This is a fascinate item, then its an extra spell item, then its a skill bonus item.
5. I liked the name!

Good try. Give it a shot again next year!

Thanks for the input! It was originally meant to just maintain Illusion spells, but I felt any explanation for just that school was too contrived and betrayed the theme. There's a very low prereq feat that's similar to the maintain bit, which I considered adding as a requirement, but again, it would've broken the theme. I believe my own fascination with the ideas that prompted this item, the ancient Grecian idea of celestial spheres, blind-sided me on this item.

Thanks again.


I would appreciate the judges' feedback on the Sluggard's Coffer (which is not a gag item) ;)

Sluggard’s Coffer
Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Price 7,000 gp; Weight 50 lbs.
Description
This large bronze plated wooden coffer is engraved with avian imagery and feathery patters its lid decorated with the long necked head of a heron. It can hold 400 lbs. or a volume of 50 cubic feet. The coffer’s key grants anyone carrying it the ability to verbally command the coffer as a move action (see below). On command the coffer animates as a medium size animated object (see the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary) extending a pair of long birdlike legs. The coffer can be commanded to animate, to revert to its inanimate state, to move to a destination within line of sight of the key bearer, to follow the key bearer, to stop in place and to pick up an object within line of sight of the key bearer. The coffer can pick up unattended objects of up to 50 lbs. using the heron head on its lid. Items picked up in this way are immediately deposited inside the coffer as the heron swallows it. If the key bearer is adjacent to the coffer he can drop an item into the coffer as a swift action (the coffer automatically opens its lid to catch the item). If the coffer is ever more than 60 feet from it’s key it immediately reverts to its inanimate state.
The coffer has the properties of a medium animated object with the following exceptions: AC 16, hardness 10, speed 20 ft. (cannot run) and cannot attack.
Opening the coffer without the key requires a Disable Device skill check or a Strength check (both DC 30) or a knock spell or similar effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects; Cost 3,500 gp.


Curious on feedback.
Apparently I missed the thread on "do's and dont's" such as No Back Story. I looked at the contest rules and clicked on obvious links associated. Guess I shall have to search more thoroughly amongst the online visual flotsam :(
Post submitting I would have changed the time to 1d4x10 min and 3 times a day.
I'm under the assumption that one would not have to explain what a Hurdy Gurdy is ;) ;) ;)

Hurdy Gurdy of Expeditious Banter

Aura: Moderate enchantment and transmutation CL: 7th
Slot: None Price: 5,000gp Weight: 3lbs

Description:
Odelyna Withers was a well traveled bard who moved from various adventuring groups throughout her time on Golarion .  Despite the wealth of skills and knowledge she gathered one aspect of her adventurous life she wished to alleviate was the constant need to dig for information from the mundane local inhabitants.  To speed up this tedious process Odelyna had the Hurdy Gurdy of Expeditious Banter crafted.  By playing her Hurdy Gurdy in the markets and taverns throngs of locals were attracted as much by the odd sound of the instrument as by the dweomer of attraction it issued forth.
A Character with at least one rank in perform (string) gains a +3 competency bonus to Diplomacy checks to Gather Information and the time required is 1d4 minutes (not 1d4 hours). They also gain a +3 competency bonus to any Perform String checks while playing the Hurdy Gurdy of Expeditious Banter.

Construction:
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Enthrall and Haste. Cost: 2,500gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

benjover wrote:

Gibber Bane

Aura faint transmutation and conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot -; Price 4000 gp; Weight -

Description

This three inch long hair-like strand of black fibrous material wiggles to life when touched. If placed against any surface where hair follicles grow it roots itself in, sinking one of its three inches underneath the surface of the host’s skin. This results in a slight itching sensation but causes no other ill effects.
Once a day gibber bane can be easily plucked from the body and commanded to fill a target’s mouth with writhing hair. These hairs completely clog the mouth disrupting bite attacks, breath weapons, and speech for 1d3+1 rounds.
=========================

Reviewing it myself I see a couple of problems. Price is too low and I think I should have allowed for a save against its effects.

Well, I think you missed the real problem, though it is astute of you to note the save issue.

The real problem is that your Superstar entry was basically a hairball. That's just not superstar.

Plus, and this is a common oversight, not all creatures with a particular attack that you are negating are created equal. Literally, this item has no save and would cause an ancient red dragon to have to use a standard action to use its 20d10 breath weapon. Sure, that is likely not the creature you saw this being used on, but you have to think all that stuff through. Of course, you noticed the no save issue and likely would have addressed it.

This was a three reject, clear reject for us. The problem is the core idea.

But even with that said, the fact that you self-critiqued correctly and noted the "no save" problem gives me strong hope that you will be able to fix the real problem (that it was a wondrous hairball) and come back stronger with a better core idea and item next year.


First time try though I had written 3 different items almost last minute after reading some post about just creating something. I definitely should have cleared up mechanics. I had my reason though for what I was attempting. In hindsight I should have had this thing transform into a hummingbird though still with this adamantine beak with whirling and clicking clockwork sounds, cut my wording down, and oie, 21 reflex. Sure I meant 12 (Quickling like). Damn my buggered-eyed editing. Lastly, yeah, Clash of the Titans comes to mind.

Ready for my kick in the arse.

Gilded Clockwork Hummingbird
Aura: Abjuration (strong) CL: 13
Slot: none Price: 14900gp Weight: 3 lbs.
Description: The Gilded Clockwork Hummingbird is crafted in silver with gold filigree ribbons etched over its sculpting and an adamantine beak. A windup mechanism found within the belly must be wound for 6 rounds to animate the hummingbird for 30mintues; although, a control switch may be off until the figurine is needed. Upon activation the hummingbird becomes lifelike with glinting silver metallic feathers and distinct ribbons of gold streaking through its movement, as well, the hummingbird retains its beak of adamantine while sounds of gears whirl and click as wings flutter (-12 stealth)

When activate, the hummingbird flitters about the user up to several feet. Once per round the hummingbird will deflect, with its adamantine beak, a bullet or arrow that would effectively hit the target. This figurine cannot be commanded and will always deflect the first projectile that would hit the user. The hummingbird cannot be physically attacked, as it flutters with great speed around physical and magical attacks except area of affects spells and magic missiles. When animated, the Gilded Clockwork Hummingbird is a 3 HD creature with 16 Hit Points. The hummingbird has a +21 Reflex Save and +12 Fort Save. Immunity: Physical Attacks, Poisons, Mind-Effects, Slow Spells, Fire Resistance 10, Cold Resistance 5, Acid Resistance 5.

The Gilded Clockwork Hummingbird may be activated three times daily unless killed in its animated state where it reverts back to its inanimate state and cannot be activated again for 24 hours.
Construction Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Animate Object, Haste, Deflection, and Profession Clockmaker
Cost: 7450gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Thanks for your consideration and time

Tome of Vile Training
Aura moderate divination, illusion and necromancy; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This slim book contains dark, arcane secrets and rituals for transforming a wizard’s familiar into a corrupted version of itself. If a wizard reads the tome and performs the rituals inscribed in the tome on his familiar for a total of 48 hours, over a minimum of six days, the familiar gains access to new and terrible powers to use at the aid of his master.

Thanks Lars!

This is an interesting core idea. Problem was, as Neil and I saw it, this wasnt so much a wondrous item as it was a familiar modification subsystem and a wondrous item is not a place to introduce such subsystems (its like an archetype for your familiar squeezed into a wondrous item). Neil, always the stickler, also didn't like that you forgot the "Construction" header. When we give you the template, you need to use it correctly. That tells us you arent quite ready to be a pro freelancer.

That said, I think we both really liked your creativity!

Next year, come back strong and make sure you submit a true wondrous item and not a new rules system! :) I hope this helps.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Riftwalker wrote:

Interested in feedback! My submission:

Mushroom of the Fey Ring
Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 5th
Slot —; Price 3,000 gp; Weight
Description
This mushroom-shaped vial is carved from an oak’s heartwood and contains shimmering dust that attracts fey. If the owner is in a forested area at sunset, they may sprinkle all the dust in a small circle around a magic wand that contains an enchantment spell. Mushrooms then spring from the dust circle. If left undisturbed and unobserved overnight—the theory goes—a fey visits, tries out the wand, alters the wand’s spell as either a gift or a trick, and departs. At dawn, the wand has 1d6 fewer charges (to a minimum of 0) and the wand’s contained spell changes to a random spell from enchantment spells of the same level from the same class' spell list.

Additionally, an owner of non-lawful alignment who casts either summon monster or summon nature's ally can use a full mushroom as an additional spell focus, though this consumes the dust inside. Doing so permits the summoning of a creature marked with a "*" from the summon monster table of the same spell level as a "fey ring" creature (treat as the entropic template with DR/cold iron rather than DR/lawful, a +1 luck bonus to AC and saving throws, but without smite law) instead of the celestial or fiendish template. This option makes the spell chaotic. Alternately, casting summon monster may summon a fey creature from the summon nature's ally table of the same spell level.

If empty, the mushroom's contents are replenished at dawn a total of seven times, after which the magic of the mushroom fades.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, beguiling gift, summon monster I or summon nature's ally I; Cost 1,500 gp

OK, Riftwalker. Buckle up for this one. :) I'll try to take it easy on you...

Sean actually wrote a two paragraph poem-style critique. It was amazing. I won't quote it for you, but you might convince him to do it.

But then he summed it up well in his final paragraph:

The first part is WAY too convoluted to activate.
The second is a new template disguised as a magic item.
The third is only three creatures on the entire summon list, and therefore mostly pointless unless you really need a mite, satyr, or pixie.

I felt that the first paragraph was just poorly written. I noted: "The first paragraph is just not good. 'If left undisturbed and unobserved overnight—the theory goes—a fey visits, tries out the wand, alters the wand’s spell as either a gift or a trick, and departs.' The theory goes? So you don't even know if that happens?" Item text is not the time for legends and lore. Dont tease with legends and stories, describe with actual mechanics. Leave the legends for each GM to make up.

That said, we all appreciated your finding a theme. Neil liked that it was a 7 use consumable item. We all saw what you were going for but felt you got lost along the way--in addition to the flaws noted above.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

AHalflingNotAHobbit wrote:

Thanks for doing this!

Vest of Seven Pockets
Aura Strong Conjuration; CL 13th
Slot Chest; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This gaudy red velvet and gold-trimmed waistcoat boasts pockets at the breast, waist, and inner side, each just large enough to admit a human hand. Any person other than the wearer who reaches into the pockets finds they are silk-lined, going about six inches deep. Only when one dons the vest before reaching into the pockets is the item's true nature revealed.
 
In truth, each of the seven pockets is a nine-inch diameter portal which may open onto any location on any plane. Only the wearer of the vest may activate these portals, moving her hand—and any item she holds in her hand—freely through in either direction. There are no restrictions on what may pass through the portals, other than that it must be held in the wearer's hand. Depositing an item through one of the portals is a move action, while retrieving an item is a standard action.
  
The location of each portal is fixed by the vest's maker at the time of creation, and cannot thereafter be changed. To anchor the portals, the creator must specially treat an Immovable Rod, which is then activated at each of the seven locations. The Immovable Rod can afterword be safely deactivated and removed, leaving behind no indication (other than a faint conjuration aura) that the portals exist.

There exist versions of the Vest of Seven Pockets tailored for small-sized creatures. In such cases, the pockets are still large enough to admit a human hand, and the portals are still nine inches in diameter.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Plane Shift, creator must have access to an Immovable Rod; Cost 10,000 gp

Halfling, sorry but we didn't feel this one.

I was a bit harsh (slightly edited to protect the guilty):

"I already didnt like the vest of seven small bags of holding, which is really all this is, and then the author goes and does the immovable rod thing. Does any other wondrous item (or magic item of any kind for that matter) actually require another magic item as a construction requirement? Uh, no, not like that. That alone is reason to reject it and that is what I am doing. You rules types can tear this up with your rules-fu."

The rule-fu typed did weigh in, and (in addition to my concerns) they found some spell check issues ("afterword") and also some formatting issues with what was italicized and not, and what was capitalized or not. Plus, nearly all items of this type have secret chest in their requirements and you did not, which was considered an oversight. But my reason alone would likely have been enough to get you rejected even if all these things had been done correctly.

I have a hunch...you tell me if I am right. This felt like a first draft to me. Did you really spend as much time on it as you wanted to? I think a couple editorial passes would have helped. Plus the core idea with the immovable rods needed reconsideration.

Hope that helps! Thanks for posting and come back strong next year!!!

Liberty's Edge Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

I did not realize we would not have access to our actual submissions, this is from a working save file. I know I did a lot of template corrections and a few word-count modifications from text file to submission, but now that I look back I pray that I didn't actually submit the version with almost no formatting.

Thank you for your time and feedback.

(reformatted from memory, not saved file)

Gloves of the Grasping Sovereign
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 19,000 gp; Weight

DESCRIPTION
These pale green leather gloves are constantly sticky, but can adhere to objects and creatures on command. These gloves grant a constant +4 competence bonus to CMD against disarm attacks, CMB for disarm checks without using a weapon, climb checks, grapple checks, and saves against effects that cause him to drop his items. The wearer may pick up items as a swift action, but must also take a swift action to drop an item and doesn't drop held items when panicked or stunned.
As a swift action, the wearer can attach either or both of these gloves to any item as if he had used a dose of Sovereign Glue with no time to set required. While adhered, items attached cannot be disarmed or dropped and the gloves grant a +20 CMD versus grapple and escape artist checks to escape a pin. A climber wearing these gloves cannot fall if adhered to a surface, and can climb 5 ft per round as a full round action by alternating adhered gloves. While adhered the gloves have a hardness of 20 and 30 HP, and may be used as Masterwork Adamantine gauntlets or if adhered to loose small items such as gravel, nails or broken glass, they function as Adamantine spiked gauntlets.
Applying Universal Solvent to these gloves in either form will destroy them in one round. Applying Salve of Slipperiness to these gloves while sticky renders the gloves inert for 8 hours even if the salve is removed with alcohol, but has no effect on adhered gloves.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Make Whole; Cost 9,500 gp

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

And here is my item. I'm thinking that it was better than my submission last year at least. :)

Rustpicks

Aura: Faint Transmutation; CL 7th

Slot: -; Price: 2,600 gp; Weight: 2 lbs

Description:
These red lockpicks are crafted from bone, and are stored in a leather bag, engraved with the image of a tentacled Crustacean monster. The slightest touch of the Rustpicks cause small metallic objects to rust away into nothingness in moments.

The Rustpicks function as Masterwork Thieves' Tools. Furthermore when used on locks and traps that have metal components (as adjudicated by the GM) they will lower the DC of the Disable Device check by 5, and will render the trap or lock useless until the metal parts have been replaced.
They will not affect constructs or objects heavier than 1 lb, as the amount rusted is insufficient to affect a larger object.

Construction Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Rusting Grasp; Cost: 1,350 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Evil Lincoln wrote:

I would love some feedback. Also, I'm prepared for "negative" feedback, so don't worry about sheltering my fragile emotions:

Fermenting Gyst
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 4,500 gp; Weight
Description
This gritty powder is sealed in a jar of darkened glass. A pinch of gyst added to any potion and allowed to ferment for one day increases that potion’s caster level by 2, to a maximum caster level of 9th. A character with an alchemist’s lab may double this increase to 4 with a successful DC 20 Profession(Brewer) or Craft(Alchemy) check and one hour of effort.

The potion acquires a unique, bitter taste that delights the palate. It cannot be contaminated by magical effects that spoil liquids, such as a black dragon’s corrupt water ability.

Once created, a single jar contains enough gyst to ferment 10 potions. The process is only effective once per potion.

Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, caster level 9th, trained in Craft (Alchemy); Cost 2,250 gp

Glad you are ready for it, 'cause here it comes :)

Sean already posted his thoughts.

I actually liked what you were trying to do, but there were just way too many mis-steps.

First, the name. Fermenting gyst? Perhaps they mean "gist"...and just chose to spell it in and Olde English style?

Second, "A unique, bitter taste that delights the palate?" Really? How delightful could it be? I can't say I enjoy the taste of something bitter all that much.

Third, "Can't be contaminated by magical effects that spoil liquids?" And then you reach for the black dragon's corrupt water ability before the slightly more comon putrefy food and drink? Granted, it's only a witch spell, but I have a feeling you'll be seeing a few more of those than a black dragon every day.

Fourth, Okay, even setting all of that aside, there are lots of presentation missteps here. Craft Wondrous Item needs to be capitalized. You don't need to mention caster level in the construction requirements. That's why you have CL 9th, above. Specific skill variations should be lowercased as Profession (brewer) and Craft (alchemy) and you actually need a space between the first parenthesis "(" and the primary skill name. Also, if you're going to cite Craft (alchemy) as a construction requirement, you really need to give the number of ranks required. Is it a single rank? I guess so since all you need is to be trained in it. I don't recall any other wondrous items with just a 1 rank skill requirement, though.

Fifth, let's examine the actual effect of this item. You get to increase the caster level of potions by making them more potent. Not a bad idea on its face. But potentially jacking one up 4 levels higher with a DC 20 skill check seems a bit extreme for a 10 use item. Also, let's do the math. Potions cap out at 3rd level spells. So, CL 5th is what gets assumed. The only way this fermenting gyst can take it up to a maximum of CL 9th is if it's an alchemist or brewer doing his thing. And why is it a fermentation process? It's not like every potion has an alcohol content to it. I'm also annoyed that there's absolutely no spell requirements to make this stuff. Apparently, it's just an alchemical mixture or something. In my book, that makes it an alchemical item. Not a wondrous item. C'mon. Surely there's a transmutation spell effect of some kind you could have applied here. Even a metamagic feat like Heighten Spell would have helped sell this thing.

Sixth, ultimately, let's move past that. Why would someone actually want to boost the CL of a potion? I assume it's for the duration. Someone wants to extend bull's strength or barkskin, etc. for just a little longer in their adventuring day. Is that Superstar? To get a few more minutes of an ability-altering potion or a few more rounds of displacement or blur or whatever? I don't think it is.

Now, you should note that the stuff I added here, while altered slightly, was essentially all posted in the thread on your item. That is how much we discuss these things sometimes.

I hope that was helpful! Sorry if it seems negative, it isn't all bad. Do a couple more drafts in the future to help those missteps. Spend time with your nose to the books. Review some of the helpful threads.

Rally next year and come back strong and knock our socks off!


I had no idea you guys did this sort of thing. Very cool. Well, this was my first year entering. Didn't know what to expect.

Lich's Heart Amulet
Aura strong necromancy; CL 13th
Slot neck; Price 90,000 gp; Weight --

Description
This filigreed silver necklace is set with a large obsidian gem cut in the rough shape of a heart. The wearer gains a +2 deflection bonus to AC and a +2 resistance bonus on saves. These bonuses only apply to attacks made or effects created by undead creatures. Once per day, the user can speak the command word and control undead, just like the spell.

In addition to protecting against undead, the amulet also attracts them. Whenever a Lich's Heart stays in one area (roughly one square mile) for 12 consecutive hours, there is a 25 percent chance that 2d8 HD of mindless undead will arrive and attack the bearer of the amulet and any other living beings around it. This occurs regardless of whether the amulet is worn or used during the 12-hour period. If the area where the amulet is kept is near a graveyard, battlefield or other location with a high concentration of corpses, the chance goes up to 75 percent. While intelligent undead are immune to the attraction effect, they are not immune to the amulet's other abilities.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, control undead, protection from evil; Cost 45,000 gp

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka primemover003

I always, always write at least a half dozen drafts of an item. Gotta clean up language, try different ways of saying the same thing, try different mechanics on for size, etc. Also I run them past my gaming friends so I have a half dozen email threads with various drafts in my back pocket. Save early, save often!

--Vrock, Stock, and Barrel


Thanks a ton for providing feedback on the items that didn't make the cut. I appreciate it!

Pup Tent of Preparation
Aura faint abjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 20 lbs.
Description
The Pup Tent of Preparation offers comfort for the adventuring caster. A person within this small tent enjoys a restful sleep which fulfills the rest requirements for preparing arcane spells in 4 hours rather than 8. In addition, the tent mitigates heat- and sound-based distractions of the environment, allowing the time spent preparing or readying spells to be halved.
Construction
Requirements Create Wondrous Item, Lullaby, creator must have 2 ranks in the Survival skill; Cost 2,500 gp

Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Here's mine. I'm thinking it was probably a bit too niche, and the summary could have been cleaned up tighter, but I'm curious what you all have to say. :)

Mantle of Dominion
Aura faint enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot chest; Price 3,500 gp; Weight
DESCRIPTION
This silken, gold-embroidered garment can be worn over normal clothing or armor. As a standard action, the wearer of the mantle may attempt to wrest control of spells with a duration of concentration (or concentration plus x rounds) from their caster. The mantle's wearer makes a concentration check opposed by a concentration check made by the spell’s owner. For this check, the wearer’s caster level equals their character level, and spellcasters may add their relevant ability modifier to the check. A successful check means the wearer gains control over the spell while an unsuccessful check renders that particular spell immune to the mantle's control. Aside from the ownership change, the spell’s effects (including duration) are otherwise unaffected.

Additionally, spellcasters wearing the mantle gain a +4 to concentration checks made while casting their own spells.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Combat Casting, command; Cost 1,750 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

cmjohnst wrote:

I'd love to get your feedback!

Mask of Many Roads
Aura strong divination and conjuration; CL 15th
Slot head; Price 170,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description

This carved wooden mask is stained with occult markings. Anyone looking through its serpentine eye sockets can see across Planes to the Ethereal, granting them a see invisibility effect.

The true power, however, allows the wearer to create a crossroads between worlds once per day. They must shout a command word which is carved inside of the mask in Aklo.

Activation is a full-round action, and establishes a nonmoving bubble of radius 100ft. centred around the mask. Upon activation the speaker must designate a single Plane near their own. The Transitive Planes are near the Prime Material and each other, and the Astral Plane in particular connects to every Plane. Inner Planes are near each other, and Outer Planes connect to other Outer Planes which share an alignment component.

The wearer can choose which Plane dominates inside the crossroads for each of the following traits: gravity, morphic, elemental, alignment, and magic. Time proceeds at the rate of the slower Plane. Interplanar interaction is possible, allowing material contact with the extraplanar. A trait can be changed as a swift action.

Extradimensional spaces such as a rope trick collapse within the crossroads, scattering their contents across an area equal to their apparent size. Creatures which leave the crossroads end up in the Plane of their choice. After 15 rounds or if the mask leaves the bubble, the crossroads collapses. People still inside are stranded on the Plane of the wearer’s choice.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, contact other plane, create demiplane, see invisibility; Cost 85,000 gp

We wondered why seeing across the Ethereal Plane grants you a see invisibility effect? Wouldn't that just let you see ethereal creatures? Invisibility =/= Ethereal.

Then we noted that you threw in a planar lesson embedded in the text of this incredibly expensive item and it basically boils down to just a create demiplane-in-a-mask item.

Sean made a comment you may like, though: "I get the feeling this person could write a cool creepy story, but needs to work a lot on getting game terminology and game rules right."

I agree with Sean.

I hope that helps!

Study up on the game terms and rules right and come back strong next year for us!

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

ulgulanoth wrote:

Sponge Stone Maid

Aura;weak conjuration CL 12th
Slot None; Price 18,000gp; Weight 1lb
Description
This yellowish brown sponge the size of a small fist flies around its master in an orbit similar to Ioun Stones. It glows with the strength of a candle. Upon command the sponge can be asked to clean an area, this is a free action. The sponge will clean a 5 foot cube every round, removing any spilt liquid on the floor, removing all webs in the area, cleaning the air including getting rid of any fog, mist or smoke and destroying any non-creature fungus in the 5 foot cube it cleans. The Iou Sponge has an AC14, hardness 3, 10 hit points and is immune to bashing damage. The Iou Sponge has a fly speed of 10ft. Since it is very light it can be easily blown away by strong winds.
Construction
Requirements Craft wondrous item, light, prestidigitation, mage hand, unseen servant; Cost 9,000gp

hopefuly better than last years!

Not sure what last year's was, but this one had some issues.

The biggest is that it appears you changed the name at the last minute and didn't change it within the body of the item. Either that or I have no idea what an "Iou Sponge" is.

This one just screamed "this is a first draft."

Here is what I wrote:

"What's an "Iou Sponge"? Is that a typo? It's there twice, so I presume not. Or maybe that was an earlier name of the item that wasn't edited. My guess is this was supposed to be an "ioun sponge" and the author (wisely, perhaps the thing he or she did best) decided that was a bad name. Problem is, the one they changed it to is worse.

And lets not miss the fact that the item is silent on its most important use--can it defeat cloudkill or other fog magic? It doesn't say it doesn't and it doesn't say it does. That's poor design. This is a first draft.

Perhaps the sponge can be used to clean up this entry! Oh! Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I'm here all week!"

Neil and Sean agreed. Someone whose identity will go unpublished added this rather overly-glib bit of screenplay to the thread:

Officer: So you're telling me that your idea of a superstar item was a flying sponge?
Dude: Yes.
Officer: And that's when this "Reynolds" person started beating you with a shoe?
Dude: Yes.

We're not having fun at your expense. It was an interesting idea that kinda just went sideways and dipped into silliness and it looks like you didnt edit it that well.

Remember, we arent judging you as a person we are just judging your item entry.

Come back strong next year, spend a little more time finding a superstar-worthy item and do a couple more editorial passes and who knows what might happen for you! Good luck and thanks for posting.


Ok, so I am at work. The file copy I have is at home for my item, however my item was

Coat of Minions

I did my best at fixing things, but I know I fell flat on some things that could have made it much better.

AM

Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

OK, here goes my item. I realized I made lots of editing mistakes. It was kind of a rushed work.

Glove of the Sky King

Spoiler:
Aura faint transmutation and conjuration; CL 9
Slot hands; Price 35000 gp; Weight -
DESCRIPTION
The Glove of the Sky King is blue, with three silver five-tipped stars on its wrist and a crescent moon on the back of its hand. Created by a druid allied to storm giants, the Glove bestows upon the user mastery over wind.
Airborne creatures take a -1 penalty to attack rolls against the user. Additionally, the user gains a +1 bonus to melee attack rolls with one-handed and light weapons held in the gloved hand.
Each time the Glove is activated, one of its stars darkens. When all three stars darken, the Glove loses all its powers until the next day, when all starts brighten up again. Activating it as an immediate action creates a sudden gust of wind to deflect an attack (+2 deflection bonus to AC) or cushion a fall (same as feather fall spell). Activating it as a swift action propels the user 10ft in any direction. Activating it as a move action grants the user a fly speed of 60ft, with perfect maneuverability, for one round. Activating it as a standard action attacks a creature within 200ft with a blast of wind to knock them down or back - treat this as either a bull rush or trip maneuver dealt by a Large air elemental (attack bonus +14, CMB +13). Finally, as a full-round action, the user can call lightning from the sky to strike down his foes, as per the spell lightning storm (DC 17). After using this ability, the crescent moon darkens and the glove loses all of its powers until the next day.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, summon monster V, lightning storm, gust of wind, expeditious retreat, fly; Cost 17500 gp

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

Item Name Dragon Bone Whetstone
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Made from the bones of dragons, these whetstones temporarily transform the magical abilities on bladed weapons to the elemental energy abilities of the dragon. Using the whetstone provokes an attack of opportunity and takes a standard action when used on one melee weapon or one minute on up to 50 bladed pieces of ammunition. By expending at least one charge when honing a blade, the whetstone transforms special abilities with a base modifier of +1 to the corrosive, flaming, frost, or shock special ability that matches the dragon type of the whetstone. Blades with special abilities or multiple abilities adding up to +2 in base modifiers have those abilities transformed to the corrosive burst , flaming burst, icy burst, or shocking burst special ability. Those with abilities or multiple abilities greater than +3 gain the keen special ability in addition to the matching energy burst ability. Brilliant energy weapons are unaffected by the whetstone.

In addition to the transformation, on a successful critical hit, a blade under the effects of the whetstone unleashes a blast of dragon’s breath dealing 1d6 points of energy damage plus 1d6 per base modifier of special abilities transformed (DC16 Reflex save for half). The dragon’s breath can be directed as the wielder of the weapon chooses, but must include the opponent struck by the attack.

The transformation from the whetstone lasts for one minute per charge expended when honing the blade. A newly created dragon bone whetstone has 10 charges. When all the charges are expended, the whetstone becomes a nonmagical item.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dragon’s breath, keen edge, bone from a dragon of at least the adult age category; Cost 1,500 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

Perilous Pebble

Spoiler:
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 1,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This small pebble feels slick and wet to the touch. It can be thrown up to 60 feet with no range penalties. When it strikes a hard surface (or is struck hard), it explodes into a multitude of pebbles. Each creature within a 10-foot-radius spread must make a DC 15 Fortitude save or be knocked prone and take 2d6 damage from the onslaught of pebbles. Solid ground within the effect’s area is covered by slick pebbles and treated as if under the effect of a grease spell (save DC 15). The pebbles stick firmly to the ground and can’t be pried loose. Falling onto the pebbles (or exerting a similar force) causes another explosion as if a perilous pebble just struck there. Regardless of how many explosions are triggered, all Pebbles vanish 10 rounds after the initial explosion of if no longer in contact with solid ground, making this a one use item.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, grease, stone shape; Cost 750 gp

Thanks for all your effort, it is really appreciated!

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Thank you kindly

Ki Waterfall
Aura strong transmutation; CL 11th
Slot chest; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Frayed and thick, these linen bands bestow a deep-rooted sense of tranquility and an exceptional mastery of ki flow. The item grants the ability to confer the benefits of the wearer's ki techniques onto both the wearer and his allies; though only ki abilities that target the wearer himself can be conferred this way. The wearer may, as part of the action to activate a ki ability, touch up to 2 willing, adjacent allies. For each ally the benefits gained are identical to those gained by the wearer, variables such as monk level, or ninja level if appropriate, are treated the same for wearer and each ally - with the exception that the ki ability's duration is limited to 1 round for creatures other than the wearer. For example, depending on the ki ability used, the wearer could grant allies one additional attack at their highest attack bonus when making a flurry of blows attack that round; they could gain a speed bonus of 20 feet for 1 round; they could heal a number of hit points of damage equal to the wearer's monk level through the wholeness of body ability; or they could magically slip between spaces together with the wearer using the abundant step ability. In addition to this ability, the enhancement bonus of the wearer's unarmed strikes is considered 2 higher for the purpose of determining what damage resistances his attacks overcome.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, mass owl's wisdom, creator must be a monk; Cost 10,000 gp

151 to 200 of 1,111 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Archive / Paizo / RPG Superstar™ / Previous Contests / RPG Superstar™ 2012 / General Discussion / Official "Critique My Item" Thread All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.