I admit a bit of conflict when I read things such as, “If this is how the judges are going to be I just won't enter next year.” The selfish bit of me is glad – less competition and all that. But the rest of me, the bit normally in control, thinks such an attitude is awful shortsighted. Each man (and women too) should strive for greatness and pursue dreams. If one of your dreams is to produce RPG material, the RPG Superstar contest is a good way to gauge your current abilities in the field. It is made even better by the fact that the judges are willing to provide feedback on what kept you from being in the top tier. You get the benefit of seeing what you did wrong (or right) but also, and even better, you get to see how everyone else did and therefore you have a hundred critiques to learn from instead of just one.
I do think that those who are complaining about the judges feedback being too short, or not enough, are wrong. Or, rather, you are looking at it in absolutely the wrong way. Think of it in terms of roofing. Some people seem to want instructions on how to better swing the hammer, but they are having problems climbing the ladder. To make it worse, they are getting frustrated by the teacher's fixation on the ladder. But the teacher has it right: the hammer does you no good if you can't first learn how to get on the roof. Two illustrations.
Say your item was disqualified. You do not need to know anything else about your submission. You instead need to go back and figure out why it was disqualified and fix that problem. Our beloved Mr. Reynolds has stressed this for some time now: If you can't follow instructions he doesn't want to work with you. It doesn't matter how creative your ideas are, how flowery your prose. A disqualification means you need to work on one of the most fundamental of skills for a writer: reading comprehension. “But!” you exclaim, “It doesn't tell me what else was wrong with my entry, or how to improve.” But here you are wrong. It doesn't matter what else was wrong. If you can't climb up the first rung of the ladder, you have no business working on the roof.
I also notice, and its not unique to this year (and we all are prey to the temptation) complaints that the judges misunderstood something about your entry and that their feedback is therefore insufficient to help you improve. But regardless of whether they did misunderstand you, and even assuming you understand the rules and how your submission conforms to the rules better than the judges, it doesn't matter for you have a deeper, more fundamental flaw. Your writing was not good enough to convey your ideas. End of story. That sounds harsh but it is not (because I'm not saying your writing can't improve). Its a simple truth and you need to admit it before you can improve. Consider this: if the judges, with their expertise, did not understand the nuances of your submission, you are pretty much guaranteed that the average reader will mess it up too. This is due to the inherent cheapness, in my opinion, of the Paizo Accounting department. They have refused to include a cloned copy of the writer in every book they sell. Until such time as the bean counters see fit to adapt with the times, the writers have to write in such a way as to allow everyone to understand their work the first time through, everytime, without the benefit of their presence at the table. That's not always easy, but the sooner and better you can accomplish this, the better for you. So don't argue with the judges about how they misunderstood you. Learn to write in a way where there is no doubt as to what's what. Once you have mastered those rungs, you can start to worry more about the whole hammer and nail aspect of the business.
+1
To be honest, Clark. I am extremely disappointed.
To call this thread anything with the word "critique" in it is a joke. I have been provided with absolutely NOTHING to work with. If this thread was called "judge's commentary" I would understand (maybe).
I have been told the Item is poorly crafted and the only point pointed out by the judges is invalid. What gives?
Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
I would appreciate the judges' feedback on the Sluggard's Coffer (which is not a gag item) ;)
Sluggard’s Coffer
Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Price 7,000 gp; Weight 50 lbs.
Description
This large bronze plated wooden coffer is engraved with avian imagery and feathery patters its lid decorated with the long necked head of a heron. It can hold 400 lbs. or a volume of 50 cubic feet. The coffer’s key grants anyone carrying it the ability to verbally command the coffer as a move action (see below). On command the coffer animates as a medium size animated object (see the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary) extending a pair of long birdlike legs. The coffer can be commanded to animate, to revert to its inanimate state, to move to a destination within line of sight of the key bearer, to follow the key bearer, to stop in place and to pick up an object within line of sight of the key bearer. The coffer can pick up unattended objects of up to 50 lbs. using the heron head on its lid. Items picked up in this way are immediately deposited inside the coffer as the heron swallows it. If the key bearer is adjacent to the coffer he can drop an item into the coffer as a swift action (the coffer automatically opens its lid to catch the item). If the coffer is ever more than 60 feet from it’s key it immediately reverts to its inanimate state.
The coffer has the properties of a medium animated object with the following exceptions: AC 16, hardness 10, speed 20 ft. (cannot run) and cannot attack.
Opening the coffer without the key requires a Disable Device skill check or a Strength check (both DC 30) or a knock spell or similar effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects; Cost 3,500 gp.
Because Neil gave you a drive-by review and you expected more let me give you a few pointers. I am a harsh critic, or so people tell me.
MS Word tells me your item has 293 words
thesaurus.com tells me that a sluggard is an idle slothful person.
So we've got a chest for an idle person. How exciting or superstar is that?
I like your first sentence, it describes the item accurately. Next you give me the impression of "Baggage" from the Discworld novels.
Basically your entry is a walking chest that you can keep stuff in.
Now answer me this: why is this superstar? For 7000 gp this item is beaten by almost everything in the book, explain to me why I want this, why is it cool (based solely on the description offered, not on what may exist in your mind)?
I look forward to your thoughts on the matter.
The pricing of the item looks very iffy to me, with a caster level of 11 and being a slotless item is should cost way more than what you give. The coffer is not a true animated object but that still won't explain the price disparity.
Conclusion:
The good: description is ok, good use of the template
the bad: price is way off
the ugly: not really superstarMy advice: ask a fellow player if he wants this at the suggested price or an item of equivalent value, ask yourself the same question. RPG Superstar requires that you submit something so awesome that everyone asks why didn't someone design this earlier.......does your coffer do that?
Your entry is an easy reject, maybe next year you'll do better. This competition has shown me that next year's entry is always better in some way.
Thank you for your critique Darkjoy.
The idea here is to combine something very useful to a number of characters with a Frank-Oz-like humor. It is not a gag item, but falls into the same fantasy univers that spawned Baba Yaga and similar oddities.Its obvious that this might have appeal to lazy characters or that characters having them may be perceived as lazy. In truth I think those who will be most interested in this a characters of the Strength-dumpstat-spellcaster variety. Who may have issues moving haevy items around, even with a bag of holding or handy haversack.
This item is very restricted in its functionaluity. It does not fight and is relatively fragile and too slow to evade attackers, which is why I have chosen to prixe it at 50& above a bag of holding, but not more. The coolness of this item should be obvious to its owner, but in general this item should have the potential to trigger good (and funny) roleplay situations for the entire party - that is why I think it is SS.
Marathon Voter Season 7
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Stubborn Nail: I know, this item got a lot of discussion from the judges, but I'm really not impressed with it. Why? Because, it's only as cool as the user makes it. It could, potentially be cool, but it's exactly as cool as a lot of other items, like a decanter of endless water, or an immovable rod. And, as judges pointed out, it's way too expensive for what it is/does.
Thanks for the comment. It is very much an item whose use is determined by the owner. I happen to think that the immovable rod is extremely cool so I'll take that as praise. :) And it is likely too expensive (edit: If I had to reprice it, I would likely set it at 6000).
Calistria's Gem*Meh. This is basically a weapon enhancement item...which means it might as well be a weapon rather than a wondrous item. The abilities that aren't weapon enhancing (i.e., throwing the stone to get a copycat and master's illusion pretty much poaches the class abilities of the cleric, bestowing them upon anyone who has this item. That's not wise design.
Thanks for the feedback.
I did see the risk in tying my item to a weapon, but wanted to go for a tight theme. Calistria is tied to a whip, revenge and the Trickery domain (among other things of course). Above that I thought weapon enhancement innovative enough to get away with rule breaking...The throwing part I did see as a hard choice for a player, for you literary throw away a fortune for others to simply pick up or even catch (and to put Trickery in). Note to myself: Must be more innovative in that part (at least!) next time.
Thanks again for this feedback and all the others you do!
if anybody wants to take a look over my item and critique...
Done!
Hoard WatcherI like your description, but then you immediately fall off the horse again by capitalizing and not italicizing your item name. That's not paying attention to the template.
And, while you start off on the right foot, you certainly don't stay there. Why only ten hours of alarming? You have to guard the item yourself for the other 14 hours? At 37k, I expect it to watch my items all day!
Then, there's invisibility purge, which feels tacked on, but I really do like being able to scry on the watcher's bonded item, that's cool. If you needed to add in another effect, that would be it.
I also just realized that it would be way, way easier to just take the hoard watcher, too, if you're already robbing something. Unless you keep it in a different room 35' away, you're not even going to get an alarm, and the thief is stealing another 37k from you, to boot!
A final criticism. A protective item you leave somewhere else is not superstar. It might be good enough for a book of magic items, but they're looking for cool, breakthrough ideas here. PCs want to keep the top 32 items with them, and use them all the time. This thing? Not so much.
Veil of the Final Redemption*We already have a precedent for adding to positive channeling, and it doesn't work this way.
OK community help:) Is there something other than the phylactery I am missing? I see how I departed from that but could there be something else to which the judges refer?
*We already have Cha-boost items in the headband slot, no need to move your booster slot to the head slot so you can use something else as your headband.
I suspected adding a Charisma bonus was not wise but it fits the items purpose. Is it generally bad form to include other ability bonus items other than the Belts and headbands?
*Plus it's a great way to slap Cha drain on a captured enemy bad guy! Meh.
I didn't consider that aspect of the item. I suppose I should have.
*I get the theme the designer was going for...I think they just overdid it and didn't think through everything. If you boil it down, it grants a bonus to positive energy channeling (which uses a different mechanic than has been done before), a sunburst SIAC, and a +4 Charisma bonus courtesy of a different item slot than you'd normally expect. That's not Superstar thinking in terms of the design, despite the somewhat innovative theme, overall flavor, and professional presentation.
I was worried it was overdone, but I chose to go for it. We all make poor choices.
At least I earned the last part I emphasised in bold, so some of what I was trying to create I managed to get.
I appreciate the professional compliment as I work hard on that.
This answered many of my questions. Thank you.
Corsair’s Dream*This is a major step up from the apparatus of the crab (or Kwalish).
First I wanted to say think you to all the judges for taking the time to read and evaluate my submission - and for Neil to comment - I get that there are a ton of items for you guys to cull through and that not all of them (including mine) were worthy. Its a lot of work to comment on all of the submissions.
I also realize that I took a risk with a submission that was a ship and so expensive - my goal was to submit something different that could really stand out - and that adventurers (and players) would get a kick out of finding, seeing, and having (if they could figure out how to get one). I also felt that there was an opportunity for "state level" magic - the kinds of things kingdoms would have.
I would welcome any further comment on my submission from judges and the rest of the board.
Thanks again - Maybe something backpack sized next year.
Since this thread seems to be for non-judge feedback as well, if anybody wants to take a look over my item and critique I'd be very appreciative. (I have a thick skin so don't worry about being nice as much as being constructive please)
link should be: here
Once again a big thanks to the judges for doing what they do.
Since you ask for it, and I need a break from writing exhaustive reviews for the top 32, where I have to *work* to find anything to comment a lot on. I may be a little mean. I've been writing more nice reviews for hours. I'll try to say everything in a digestible way. I hope you can use it.
Template: Uh-oh, there's a number of things I can point out for you here, in no particular order:
- when you refer you item in your text, don't use capital letters unless it's in the start of a sentence. Also, use italics. Like this: "Once per day a hoard watcher may ..."
- marking feet as "35'" is a sign of what I think saw described as old-edition-itis by a judge. Today, you write 35 ft. or 35 feet (I think both are passable, but the first more common)
- While in the 5th printing and onwards "none" is correct for a slot, "None" with a capital N is not correct anywhere.
- Construction, Requirements and Cost would be in bold, which I can see you have done with one things that require it - that would be a huge negative.
- the required ranks in Appraise makes no sense, as nothing in the item requires the use of Appraise.
Price: This has GOT to be off, by the rule of "if no one will buy it at this price, it should be cheaper". You present price classes your item with several ioun stones, the crystal ball and a 6th level spell pearl of power. I don't think it unsafe for me to tell you that those items are almost 100% of the time far more desireable to any and all player characters. You need to deduct your price not only from the listed calculations, but also from a point were it makes sense for players to buy it, while not giving them inappropriate powers for their level (you can use the Wealth by level table somewhere in the CRB for an estimate here).
Effect: So, what does it do? It's a paranoid item, which I think I've seen the judges remark against liking, somewhere. It makes adventuring safer (you can leave you most priced possession behind, no problem).
"The connection between a Hoard Watcher and its bonded item can be blocked as though it were locate object. When a Hoard Watcher cannot detect its bonded item or does not have a bonded item, the liquid inside the crystal turns opaque." This citation is just weird, "can be blocked as though it were locate object"? What do you even mean by this. You should list appropriate spells to block the connection, or appropriate divination spell descriptors and level. Also, "it were locate object"? As though the spell used was "locate object" or what? This sequence is hopelessly murky, and it may have been clear to you, but I doubt a lot of others will have an easy time understanding you here.
Other than that, in the effect part, you item summarizes down to an item-specialized, limited, but in some ways upgraded alarm. That's not innovative, it's a borderline (at best) spell-in-a-can. Unless players in your game are constantly robbed of their most priced possessions this item is too expensive to have, and frequently as good as useless if you have it (someone actually have to steal the item you bonded this too). It's just too limited, it almost seems like a plot device (you would only have this if you had a really costly item, which you couldn't bring, but needed to protect very badly - how often does that happen with regular character gear?).
Language: Your general wording and language could suffer a reworking before submission. Try and let someone else read through your things, get their opinion (even if it's a non-gamer, they should be able to give some words).
My take:
1) Template use is incorrect (your submission may have been better)
2) 25' is old skool - and totally out of use, I guess you mean feet and ft. will indicate that quire nicely. Or would have that put you over wordcount? I guess it would have with the current 293 words.
3) It's very pricey, hunting down the fool who stole my artefact is going to be cheaper and more fun without this.
4) In the end this is just a spell in a can that solves the result of poor GM-ing: taking away the PCs toys.
5) I do like the FX of the item, eyeball in lquid
6) The item does a little bit too much, too many powers dilutes the cool.OK description too many powers not something a pc should really need
reject.
Thank you very much.
Just to clarify my template missteps
-good catch on the feet abbreviation. I should have used 35 feet or 35-feet. Something to keep in mind for the future.
-I realized after the fact that I should've referee to the item within the description with italics and no capitals. I also think I fixed the bolding for Construction requirements and Cost before submission.
-was there other format mistakes I made?
I hate pricing woundrous items. I erred on the side of suggested cost, though I do agree its probably too pricey.
I would like to add that it also has some purpose as a tracking and thieving device (nothing says the items have to be in your possession or stay your property), however I'm not disagreeing that it does fall as less of a player item and more of a plot device. I appreciate that you like the description of the item. I realized before submitting that it wasn't superstar, but better to submit something than nothing at all. I just kinda had this item blocking my mind, and had to write it up and submit it to get the other ideas flowing.
Thank you for your review. Do you have a submission I can return the favor with.
To be honest, Clark. I am extremely disappointed.
To call this thread anything with the word "critique" in it is a joke. I have been provided with absolutely NOTHING to work with. If this thread was called "judge's commentary" I would understand (maybe).
I have been told the Item is poorly crafted and the only point pointed out by the judges is invalid. What gives?
Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
NO NO so many times NO!!
There is something to be gained from the RAW criticism. It is something you can only get if you are in the room. Critique is certainly useful, but this is a first screen.
Brutal honesty is sometimes the best criticism one can recieve but so often it is not given.
The fact this is even happening is a gift!
Please don't change what you are doing.
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To be honest, Clark. I am extremely disappointed.
To call this thread anything with the word "critique" in it is a joke. I have been provided with absolutely NOTHING to work with. If this thread was called "judge's commentary" I would understand (maybe).
I have been told the Item is poorly crafted and the only point pointed out by the judges is invalid. What gives?
Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
I specifically want the raw comments please. That is why I posted in the thread. Please don't make him give up before he gets to my entry. Thanks.
Brutal honesty is sometimes the best criticism one can recieve but so often it is not given.
I second this.
Thank you for your critique Darkjoy.
The idea here is to combine something very useful to a number of characters with a Frank-Oz-like humor. It is not a gag item, but falls into the same fantasy univers that spawned Baba Yaga and similar oddities.Its obvious that this might have appeal to lazy characters or that characters having them may be perceived as lazy. In truth I think those who will be most interested in this a characters of the Strength-dumpstat-spellcaster variety. Who may have issues moving haevy items around, even with a bag of holding or handy haversack.
This item is very restricted in its functionaluity. It does not fight and is relatively fragile and too slow to evade attackers, which is why I have chosen to prixe it at 50& above a bag of holding, but not more. The coolness of this item should be obvious to its owner, but in general this item should have the potential to trigger good (and funny) roleplay situations for the entire party - that is why I think it is SS.
[/b]
No problem, with your explanation in mind, might I suggest the following?
What about a Heron of Holding? Repackaging your idea is sometimes the best course of action.
The Heron of Holding could be medium-sized construct that may even attack. It can pick up any desired object via its beak and store it in its stomache, regurgitating the item when needed. As an added bonus the owner can ride it! You could use ostrich stats for the creature, add some construct traits and you are done.
See what I've done? I gave your idea some mojo and it became less stale than discworld's bagage - and your envisioned encounter would resolve the same way.
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Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
I'd be quite sad if the raw critique disappeared. I think it gives me a good insight into the actual initial reactions of my item. Other, more detailed, critique would give me a different insight, but I would much like to know what the judges said.
Even if it was just "Rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected," this would tell me that I didn't make something stand out enough.
Honestly any feedback from anyone would be appreciated. I don't care how harsh the criticism, after all you really don't know what I look like so if you put it sounds like it was written by a fat, bearded guy that lives in a cave you don't REALLY know that the description suits me so I would take no offense.
Any bits would be appreciated.
I am not an overly sensitive individual so any feedback would be appreciated:) Thank you for the opportunity. Initially I had planned this to be a Sarenrae specific item, but I eliminated most of that because of the background material.
Honestly it was nice to design something with the pressure of format and publicity. Normally I design for home, it was a great pleasure to treat this as a job, even if the better ones won!
Veil of the Final Redemption
Aura strong varied; CL 15th
Slot head; Price 80,500 gp; Weight 1lb.
Description
This veil which covers the lower half of the face is made from beautiful Qadiran fabric. Embroidered on the veil are designs of ankhs and suns interwoven with threads dyed in colors common to the desert landscape. If the wearer channels positive energy, the veil can substitute as their holy symbol and will grant a sacred bonus of +1 per die of healing or damage whenever channel energy is used. The embroidered suns on the veil empower the wearer to cast a sunburst spell (Reflex DC 25 half) on command once per day as a standard action. In addition the veil provides a +4 enhancement bonus to Charisma for anyone wearing it, provided they do not channel negative energy.
If the veil should be worn by a character that channels negative energy, regardless of their alignment or faith, the veil will not function and causes 4 points of Charisma drain. The character will also be blinded and suffers 6d6 points of damage (Reflex DC 25 half).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, consecrate, eagle’s splendor, sunburst, nimbus of light sun domain power; Cost 40,250 gp
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 8
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka WalterGM
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For the record, I'm perfectly fine with cut-and-paste harshness. I must have missed by quite a lot, so I'm not personally expecting a lot of attention...
Agreed. I'm going to print off the judges comments and post them next to my monitor as motivation to suck less in the future. They'll be at home next to all my other rejection dialogue from my short stories and the like.
Star Voter Season 6
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SPELL PEARL
Aura Moderate Abjuration; CL 12th
Slot ---; Price 8,000 GP; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Spell pearls first appear as small translucent orbs until a spell has been absorbed into one after which they can come in a variety of colors. Spell pearls give their wielder a chance to absorb the effects of an incoming spell (this includes area of effect spells). This is done by succeeding on a Will Save (DC 12 + Caster Level) while holding the pearl. The user must be holding the pearl within his grasp and be within range of the spell in order to absorb it. If the Will Save succeeds, the spell is absorbed into the pearl and remains there until used. If the Will Save fails, the spell connects with its intended target while the pearl remains unaffected.
After capturing a spell, the wielder can then throw the pearl as a ranged touch attack. Upon impact, the pearl breaks unleashing the spell stored inside. If the spell was an area of effect spell, its effect manifests from the point of impact, spreading outwards per the spell's range descriptor. For the purposes of this attack and any other discrepancies, use the rules for splash weapons as outlined on Page 202 of the Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Spell Turning; Cost 4,000 GP.
Hello hello! Can I have some feedback too? :-)
Thanks in advance!Bracer of Attunement
Absolutely, you guys'll have to wait a lot longer to see the judges comments anyways, so I should really have been working from this end anyways.
Just one, eh? Most of the time these are in pairs. Wonder why this is just one? I notice you capitialized your aura when you shouldn't, and included "lbs" in the weight, despite this being weightless (which is two mistakes, actually, if you use a weight of --, you don't include "lbs", but this bracer should have a distinct weight, even if only 1/2 lb.). I also see you use "10.000 gp" as a price, despite the rules specifically stating to use commas - the American style of writing, as is listed in the competition rules. That's a potential disqualification in itself, even if it's just a typo (though, as you make the same mistake in cost, it's not a typo). And, you capitalize and don't italicize your spell name(s), too.
That's a lot of template errors alone, one of them enough to get you disqualified by itself. Let's see what the meat of the item gives us.
Firstly, "triangular shaped"? Really? Triangular is always a shape. You should also have a comma between black and triangular, too. Keep an eye on your grammar.
Secondly, command words are not move actions. They're standard actions, just like every other object. If you want it to be a move action, don't also use the term command word. And then you miss a space. Actually, you do that a bunch of times. Commas and periods are followed by one space in Paizo work. I've only recently stopped using two spaces myself (though I couldn't tell you when), so train yourself to do exactly that.
Also, you shouldn't capitalize "Spells", or "scrying" for that matter. But for an item that really just allows you to counter-scry on someone, not so good.
Another template mis-step, you reference a chart in the rulebook. If you need to do that, you just say "(Pathfinder RPG Rulebook, #page number#)" - but generally, if it's in the core book, don't do that.
Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
The responses to the raw pasting have been at least 95% positive. Don't let a vocal few sway the way you see the response. Please continue the raw posting, it's informative and helpful.
I have put together a word document of a sampling of items and their criticisms just for reference. Some because they are from members of this board I have come to respect, some because of mistakes they made, and others because it is an item theme I might have submitted.
The brutal honesty is helpful. I have read just about every item and its criticism DESPITE the work I should be doing in real life. I have learned heaps just from reading the item and judges comments.
Many items I think that were rejected by the judges, I think are even better than some items in the top 32.
The bottom line is this is HARD. Its easy to make items, but I guarantee even in the days of TSR Dragon submissions the scrutiny was not as tight, and you would have even been paid $5 for your bit.
The judges are under no obligation to critique these items so it is really up to each individual to do their homework. This thread alone is a HUGE resource.
Enriching Pot of the Adventurer Cook
Aura faint conjuration, transmutation and abjuration; CL 5th
Slot -; Price 11,500 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This seemingly mundane iron pot is highly prized by adventurers, especially those who enjoy cooking and wish to eat well and keep strong while undertaking long and arduous travel. Once per day, when placed over a campfire, the item can be called upon to conjure forth an amount of food sufficient to feed up to four people. The type of food conjured is limited only by the user’s imagination but typically includes hearty meats, root vegetables, broth and woody herbs. The food appears raw, inside the pot and may be cooked and eaten as per normal.
Additionally, when used by an experienced cook, the pot is capable of enriching any food cooked within it. A DC 12 Profession (cook) check infuses the prepared meal with one of two effects which serve to fortify adventurers against the rigors of the road. The first effect grants a suite of benefits which include: +2 bonus to the Constitution checks made to avoid nonlethal damage from a forced march; +2 bonus to Fortitude saves to avoid nonlethal damage from hot or cold environments; and, +2 bonus to Strength for the purposes of determining carrying capacity and encumbrance. These benefits last for 24 hours. The second effect allows the eaters to receive the benefits of long-term care, as if being cared for by someone with the Heal skill for a full day of complete rest, while only resting for 8 hours. Only one effect may be used at one time and it must be selected at the time of cooking.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bull’s strength, create food and water, endure elements, lesser restoration, stabilize; Cost 5,750 gp
********
I'd first like to thank the judges for not only giving us all an opportunity to compete, but for following up with the multitude of requests for a critique.
I'm happy to hear that my item was lame, boring, weak or just plain crap. I won't learn if I don't hear criticism.
For what its worth, I tried to take an aspect of the game (cooking) and give it some play. Now I know its a niche part of the game but I love the image of eating a hot bowl of stew after a long day of marching and having it warm you and help you rest to heal your wounds. However, that may be quite banal or even boring and I know the name is weak as well.
Anyway, I appreciate any feedback and you'll see me again next year.
To be honest, Clark. I am extremely disappointed.
To call this thread anything with the word "critique" in it is a joke. I have been provided with absolutely NOTHING to work with. If this thread was called "judge's commentary" I would understand (maybe).
I have been told the Item is poorly crafted and the only point pointed out by the judges is invalid. What gives?
Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
The whole issue of patience could be seen in a different perspective. While I don't mind reading the judges' comentary, what I really can use is a bit more elaborate critique. It does not have to be a long analysi, just something I can work with.
I wold rather wait month for the commentary+constuctive criticism, than to get the bare commentary within a day.
To be honest, Clark. I am extremely disappointed.
To call this thread anything with the word "critique" in it is a joke. I have been provided with absolutely NOTHING to work with. If this thread was called "judge's commentary" I would understand (maybe).
I have been told the Item is poorly crafted and the only point pointed out by the judges is invalid. What gives?
Good question. I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended. I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback. This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
I too enjoy it raw. The commentary, I mean. The quick turnaround for item comments is great, and is a 200-word "critique" really gonna tell you too much more than "SIAC- Reject"?
So please keep it coming! You guys are INCREDIBLE!
Oh wow! Two more excellent reviews!
Hoard Watcher
** spoiler omitted **
I swear, my final submission was not so obvious template breaking :P What I posted here was my draft before posting and previewing it in the submission panel.
The ten hours (as well as all the time effects and distances) where based of the used spells and the CL of the item. Not very creative on my part, I should've gone a bit further with it to make it less of a SIAC.
Invisibility purge kinda comes from the dragon flavor of it, Smaug style. I believe the scene where bilbo first enters, even though invisible, Smaug totally sees him, or does blindsense stuff. Also, invisibility is just a really easy way to flee after you've set off an alarm.
Since you ask for it, and I need a break from writing exhaustive reviews for the top 32, where I have to *work* to find anything to comment a lot on. I may be a little mean. I've been writing more nice reviews for hours. I'll try to say everything in a digestible way. I hope you can use it.
** spoiler omitted **...
Name: I can take your opinion, I can see the viewpoint of it. But I kinda like the name myself, though a 'Dragon's Eye' might indeed be a good alternative.
Template: Cool, I got another nitpick I missed! the 'None-none' item. The ranks in appraise (and I did check and skill ranks are a valid, if not highly used, prerequisite), refer to the minimum 250 gp value and limiting this to bonding to magic items. Maybe not necessary, but if I was going to limit it to items of a certain value, I thought I should represent how I was doing that.Price: Thank you for the suggestion of looking up items of a similar value and comparing it. Again, I played it too safe to suggested pricing, I do think my item is too expensive.
Effect: "The connection between a Hoard Watcher and its bonded item can be blocked as though it were locate object." I didn't want an infallible tracking device, as that likewise would be a no-no to judges. I suppose I could've worked in 'The spell is blocked by even a thin sheet of lead. Creatures cannot be found by this spell. Polymorph any object and nondetection fool it.' instead, but I tried looking around and I didn't find too much precedent either way.
I believe overall, I should've nailed down the concept tighter. I kinda hedged between a protective alarm-in-a-can and a greedy treasure finder item, and should've chosen one and refined it better. Thank you very much for your time and opinions.
When I get some time I'll probably flip through here and add my own comments to people seeking opinions as well :P
Honestly any feedback from anyone would be appreciated. I don't care how harsh the criticism, after all you really don't know what I look like so if you put it sounds like it was written by a fat, bearded guy that lives in a cave you don't REALLY know that the description suits me so I would take no offense.
Any bits would be appreciated.
...I am not an overly sensitive individual so any feedback would be appreciated:) Thank you for the opportunity. Initially I had planned this to be a Sarenrae specific item, but I eliminated most of that because of the background material.
Honestly it was nice to design something with the pressure of format and publicity. Normally I design for home, it was a great pleasure to treat this as a job, even if the better ones won!
Veil of the Final Redemption
Aura strong varied; CL 15th
Slot head; Price 80,500 gp; Weight 1lb.
Description
This veil which covers the lower half of the face is made from beautiful Qadiran fabric. Embroidered on the veil are designs of ankhs and suns interwoven with threads dyed in colors common to the desert landscape. If the wearer channels positive energy, the veil can substitute as their holy symbol and will grant a sacred bonus of +1 per die of healing or damage whenever channel energy is used. The embroidered suns on the veil empower the wearer to cast a sunburst spell (Reflex DC 25 half) on command once per day as a standard action. In addition the veil provides a +4 enhancement bonus to Charisma for anyone wearing it, provided they do not channel negative energy.
If the veil should be worn by a character that channels negative energy, regardless of their alignment or faith, the veil will not function and causes 4 points of Charisma drain. The character will also be blinded and suffers 6d6 points of damage (Reflex DC 25 half).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, consecrate, eagle’s splendor,
- 1lb. For a veil seems heavy.
- there might be grammar issues, but I cannot be more specific since my own grammar sucks.- i would cut the reference to the embroidered suns since it had no real bearing.
- the DC is too high. Based on CL it should be no more than 22. Based on spell level prereuosites even lower.
- sunburst sold be a onstruction requirement.
- the penalties for negative channling charactets seem artificial/random. Tha are not on par with similar items. Gaining a negative level would to me seem more reasonable.
- the item is basically an amulet of positivechaneling and a headband of charisma +4 all in one, except that the neck and head slots are substituted for a face slot (which could give the impression that you are trying to circumvent the rules. Maybe a SAK.
I would probably have liked a simpler version of his item better. I think you are trying to do too mutch with one item.
I'll talk with Neil about his approach of just cutting and pasting comments. I agree it seems more harsh than intended.
I haven't seen anything posted by Clark yet in the judges' forums on this topic, but I'll certainly discuss our approach with him once he does so.
I think his goal is to get the comments out to everyone. I'm trying to provide some more positive and constructive feedback.
This is absolutely true. I think it's important to get some measure of insight back to people about the fate of their item as quickly as we can. Why? Because, it's in the best interests of the contest to answer the question hanging in the minds of everyone who didn't make it (i.e., "Why did I miss the cut?"), so they can put that aside and then focus on supporting the Top 32 who did make it. These designers are going to need your support, your commentary and feedback, as well as your votes. I think the "Critique" thread often serves as a distraction from that. The focus needs to turn back to the Top 32 and their Round 2 submissions as quickly as it can. Thus, if I can quickly answer the "Why not me?" question for the folks who didn't make it, I think that helps get the contest back on track in a way that benefits the competitors.
But that's not the only commentary we can do. I want Clark in here offering his more positive and encouraging remarks. That's essentially the role I filled last year while Mark and Sean put out the raw commentary. I think it's important for one of us focus on doing one thing while someone else focuses on doing the other. That should give several of you twice the opportunity for insights into your item. And, I think we're even tripling that with Sean taking the items that made the Keep folder and giving them his developer's feedback in a separate thread. Down the road, you'll have all three of these feedback loops to examine. Not just for your item, but everyone else's stuff, too. That's a greater level of insight and feedback than I think you'll find in any other contest.
This is why we dont just open up our forums for view, but that is essentially what Neil is doing.
This is also correct. Folks pushed hard last year for this level of insight (and "transparency"), despite the warnings from the judges about how raw it would be. We knew it would upset some people. But, in the interests of widening the feedback and insights into the overall process, we did so. It also enabled us to get some measure of feedback to everyone, which is something that the deeper analysis approach never managed to do.
Thus, I think this approach gives you the best of both worlds. Your curiosity about how the judges viewed your item immediately gets answered with the raw commentary. We still dress it up a little. I have a tendency to be more free with it than probably anyone else. But, it also makes me faster in getting the commentary out there for folks to see it. And, as everyone knows (based on last year), I also do these insane line-by-line critiques, as well. I can't do those for everyone. Clark can't either. But, we can do enough of them to present a series of object lessons for everyone to examine. That's why we stress every year the importance of "doing your homework." We don't just mean Sean's auto-reject advice threads (which people still quibble over the name for that, too, because they're not really auto-rejects). In addition to that, we also mean the "Critique" threads (which is also a misnomer now, because it's not just critiques--it also includes some very raw commentary straight out of the judges' forum).
Regardless, I'm still sensing there are far more people here who want the raw comments than not. And, I'm sure everyone would also like to have a deeper level critique. Some of you will get the latter. Others won't. But, if nothing else, you'll hopefully have the raw commentary to examine and determine if anything in it was helpful to you. It will be for some. It won't for others. It just depends on how much time we had to consider your item and document our opinions and insights on it. All of this comes with the territory. We're doing our best to give you as much insight and feedback and support as we can. Personally, I think we give you more and more every year. And, everytime we do, it still doesn't satisfy everyone. I'm of the belief that we're never going to satisfy everyone. But, the improvement of your skills as a designer is far more in your hands than ours. There's enough lessons already documented across these forums to help everyone become better. The trick lies in whether or not you find it, recognize it, and apply it. And it's my hope that many of you do.
In the meantime, I'll carry on with providing the raw commentary at least through Page 7 and see where that gets us. If other judges (and Paizo) want to slow it back down or end it there, we'll decide that together in the judges' forum.
--Neil
Honestly any feedback from anyone would be appreciated. I don't care how harsh the criticism, after all you really don't know what I look like so if you put it sounds like it was written by a fat, bearded guy that lives in a cave you don't REALLY know that the description suits me so I would take no offense.
Any bits would be appreciated.
Ask and ye shall receive. But I'm just an observer - I lack true mojo for submitting one of my own.
Technical stuff:
good execution of template.
"In addition the veil" should be "In addition, the veil"Conceptual stuff:
It does a lot of things.
It provides a bonus to Cha (for 2 extra channels), a +1/die bonus to damage and a 1/day sunburst.From a power-gaming aspect, this looks like the item of uber-channeling - so a little cheesy. I'd say SAK.
The bonus to Cha is out of place, both thematically and by slot. The Cha enhancing slot is headband.
I'm not sure thematically why this would provide a bonus to Cha.Where I think this item really grates is the penalties for channeling negative energy. How often does the 6d6 damage + blindness occur? Does it only occur once when the item is put on? or does it occur each round?
Same for the Cha drain. The only wondrous item that acts similarly is the robe of the archmagi. And that only bestows negative levels while the item is worn. There may have been some artifacts in 3.5 that acted this way.
Many thanks!
honestly the Charisma bonus was completely intentional, to enhance channeling. I suspected it was overdone. You are correct I modeled the negative energy penalty after the robe. I thought it was cool, and I should have learned the lesson I tell people in the Larp I wrote rules for, if you think it is cool you should revisit it. I did not follow my own advice.
I thought the CHA bonus was a good edition because it was channeling, that was the only reason I included it.
Thank you, your criticism leads to thoughts!
Please continue to at least page 7 Neil!
I am cool with the raw comments.
Wig of the Wastrel
*It's a wig of useful items (almost) tacked onto a hat of disguise. Just all rolled up into one. At its core, the item is retreading ground that two other items already provide. There's really nothing super-innovative here.
*Vote to Reject.
*Pasting together two items is not Superstar.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
I think the judge presentation of the top 32 was poorly done and was a mistake to do it the way it was done. Just my two cents.
Thank you for your opinion, to which everyone is entitled.
Your inability to understand (or like it), however, does not mean we did it wrong.
For goodness sake, the commentary on the top 32 is on the *TOP 32*. Do we need to spell out we really liked the items? How much more "like" do you want than that the four of us sticklers chose to keep these 50 or so items out of the record-breaking number of submissions? Sean, Ryan, Neil and I are hard to please, and the items that made the keep folder were ones we liked BECAUSE THEY MADE THE KEEP FOLDER. That should be enough evidence of our approval. We can't sit around all day singing kumbayah and talking about how good everything is. The process of selection is determining the severity of the flaws of each submission, since there are no perfect submissions (or very few ever). So by necessity, our discussion is about what is wrong with the items. That doesn't mean we dont like them or that we think they are all crummy. I just dont know how to explain it any better than that.
If your item seems to have similar comments and you cant figure out the difference between your item and one in the keep folder with similar comments, here is the difference: we liked that one more than yours and we wanted to keep it and we didn't keep yours. Its that simple.
It is NOT HARD to sort the keeps from the rejects in most cases. The keeps really stand out to me (and I think the judges would agree). The much harder task is the sorting out among the keeps AND the initial grunt work of just slogging through the submissions.
Iron Stomach
*All that for an item that lets you drink a single potion as a free action? Sheesh. I guess this was meant to be the contingency item for jolting yourself with a cure potion in the event you fell into negative hit points. Or as a way to hide potions inside yourself so they aren't confiscated?
*Vote to Reject.
*I don't get it. How do you store the potion in the iron stomach?
*I like the gross nastiness of this item. But I just don't get it mechanically. Maybe I am over-thinking it.
*I want to hear other comments. Maybe there is something here I'm just not seeing.
*Too much work for being able to drink a potion as a free action. "Expelling the item" is unclear, and that means it's either vomit (#19), poo (#14), or ripping itself free like an alien parasite intent on killing Ripley, in which case I doubt someone would ever use the item.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
This marks the end of Page 6 on the judges' commentary during the sorting of everyone's items.
I haven't seen anything posted by Clark yet in the judges' forums on this topic, but I'll certainly discuss our approach with him once he does so.
Been busy, havent had a chance. But on reflection I like what you are doing even though it is so raw. I think most people want to see. If you dont want to see, dont ask. If it causes you to have some misperception of the contest, I can't fix that. I dont want Neil to stop posting, and there is no human way to give detailed feedback to everyone. So I support his idea of cut and paste from the chambers forum, though I had some initial trepidation based on some recent comments. I have concluded that it is those people who need to change their view, not us who need to change our practice.
Neil, carry on!
Okay. Time out. We're going to have to reset expectations for everyone in this thread. Again.
...As it is your comentary offers no real feedback. Not something that would encourage someone to participate in RPGSS2013.That's because the commentary I posted for your item, Diego, isn't meant to be feedback. Not yet. Or, at least, not the type of feedback you (and many others) imagined would show up this early into the game. Instead, what I'm giving you here is just something to lend insight into how the judges discussed your item. That's all. And there's a big difference between that and the more elaborate critique you expect...and maybe even deserve.
I've mentioned this difference multiple times in this very thread already, including the fact that Clark is here to give you further context around the judges' commentary. But, it takes him a lot more time to do those item by item than it does for me to copy/paste from the judges' forums the raw discussion of your item. Last year, Sean and Mark started out doing the copy/paste stuff for everyone and I was the guy doing the deep dive analysis to round out the context of everyones' item discussion. Even so, I never made it through all of them. Just like Clark won't be able to this go-around either. And, just like Clark never could in his prior "Critique My Item" threads...
Look, I've already said (again, in this very thread) that I'll circle back to do some of the deeper dive analysis like I did last year, too. Hopefully, that means we'll be able to do more of them, because both Clark and I will be at it. Additionally, with Sean offering something very similar to those who made the Keep pile, that frees Clark and I to concentrate on everyone else here in this thread. But that level of critique takes a lot more time. In fact, there's such a crush of people wanting feedback right now...any kind of feedback...that it's impossible for me or Clark or any of the judges to give...
Neil,
I'd like to thank you for giving us the "raw" feedback... I know it may not always be what we want to hear, but as you say, it is something for now at least. I consider mine about 50/50 (good/bad) and have a better idea of what to watch out for. And from the commentary it seems one or two judges thought it wasn't too bad, and/or got the basic idea I was going for. I call that a win!
I don't know if you (or any of the judges) will see this, but I want you to know that I (and likely a lot of us) appreciate all the time you guys put into this.
Thanks,
Dean
Thank you for your opinion, to which everyone is entitled, but that is ridiculous....Your inability to understand (or like it) does not mean we did it wrong.I think the judge presentation of the top 32 was poorly done and was a mistake to do it the way it was done. Just my two cents.
Hey, Clark...I don't think Andrew is necessarily saying we did it wrong. He's just trying to explain that it's difficult to tell which items did particularly well (as compared to one another...or even the other items that hit the Keep folder). As someone following along with the contest (and intending to actively vote on these competitors), he was hoping for a greater sense from the judges on things that were done well and not just the things that weren't done well. And, if I'm correct, I also assume he believes that type of additional analysis would help further his (and everyone else's) ability to better hone their own skills by learning and following those examples. I think Andrew means well. He's just viewing things through a different prism right now. And he also makes some valid points. See his other thread he started. I've already thrown in my two cents over there.
Neil, carry on!
Aye, aye, Cap'n!
I don't know if you (or any of the judges) will see this, but I want you to know that I (and likely a lot of us) appreciate all the time you guys put into this.
Yeah, I see it. I pretty much scour these forums all day long. And I appreciate the understanding and support you and others have indicated here.
Now, on with the show!
Dead Man's Mirror
*Kind of a plot device item. Nothing especially awesome or Superstar about it. It also seems a little odd that speak with dead would let you view an image from a creature's eye. I would've thought some other spell could be introduced or partnered with speak with dead to tighten that up. The new spell for blood biography, for instance, would have made much better sense. And that would have shown much more initiative on the part of the designer.
*More importantly, though, I just wish this item did more. The designer left 198 words on the table, nearly twice as many as he used here, which he could have tapped to make this item even more awesome. This is an example of where less isn't necessarily more, I think. That said, it's technically sound. Well presented.
*I'm not sure I understand who the Sleepless Agency is. Does that organization originate from Golarion lore?
*Weak Reject.
*Yet another "let me see the last thing before it died" item. Bleh.
*No idea what the Sleepless Agency is. Maybe they hoped to write about it in R2?
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Hey, Clark...I don't think Andrew is necessarily saying we did it wrong.
You mean other than the part where he says: it "was a mistake to do it the way it was done."
:)
He's just trying to explain that it's difficult to tell which items did particularly well (as compared to one another...or even the other items that hit the Keep folder). As someone following along with the contest (and intending to actively vote on these competitors), he was hoping for a greater sense from the judges on things that were done well and not just the things that weren't done well. And, if I'm correct, I also assume he believes that type of additional analysis would help further his (and everyone else's) ability to better hone their own skills by learning and following those examples. I think Andrew means well. He's just viewing things through a different prism right now. And he also makes some valid points. See his other thread he started. I've already thrown in my two cents over there.
I agree, despite my lippy comment above. In fact, I agreed enough that I posted what I posted regarding possibly talking to you. I understand how observers could feel that way. I, too, have posted in that other thread.
Summoner's Spice
*Did someone choose to do a spice item just because I'm a judge? I'm flattered, but really... ;-)
*It's mostly a SAK of monster abilities to tack onto your summoning spells. Not exceptionally innovative and really a potentially abusable item, because it nerfs every scenario a summoner encounters. All he has to do is conjure up an ally with the appropriate ability to defeat it. And, if his summoning list is limited in some fashion (i.e., it requires an ability that the usual creatures just don't have), he'll just add whatever he needs. That's not smart design.
*Also, the summoner basically has this ability built into his eidolon and he can shift evolution points around to achieve many of this same things...with a single eidolon companion. Extending that to his summoned creatures from spells goes too far, I think.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
Okay. Time out. We're going to have to reset expectations for everyone in this thread. Again.
...As it is your comentary offers no real feedback. Not something that would encourage someone to participate in RPGSS2013.That's because the commentary I posted for your item, Diego, isn't meant to be feedback. Not yet. Or, at least, not the type of feedback you (and many others) imagined would show up this early into the game. Instead, what I'm giving you here is just something to lend insight into how the judges discussed your item. That's all. And there's a big difference between that and the more elaborate critique you expect...and maybe even deserve.
I've mentioned this difference multiple times in this very thread already, including the fact that Clark is here to give you further context around the judges' commentary. But, it takes him a lot more time to do those item by item than it does for me to copy/paste from the judges' forums the raw discussion of your item. Last year, Sean and Mark started out doing the copy/paste stuff for everyone and I was the guy doing the deep dive analysis to round out the context of everyones' item discussion. Even so, I never made it through all of them. Just like Clark won't be able to this go-around either. And, just like Clark never could in his prior "Critique My Item" threads...
Look, I've already said (again, in this very thread) that I'll circle back to do some of the deeper dive analysis like I did last year, too. Hopefully, that means we'll be able to do more of them, because both Clark and I will be at it. Additionally, with Sean offering something very similar to those who made the Keep pile, that frees Clark and I to concentrate on everyone else here in this thread. But that level of critique takes a lot more time. In fact, there's such a crush of people wanting feedback right now...any kind of feedback...that it's impossible for me or Clark or any of the judges to give...
I am going to list this, and every time I see this come up I will just provide a link for it. That way you can spend time on the items instead of explaining the same things over and over again. I think some of the posters are not online as much so they missed this when it was mentioned before.
Brood Master’s Mask
*Creator must be a xill? Well, that rules out practically every PC. Wow, this item is just xill, xill, xill all day long. Way too niche for RPG Superstar. This is pretty much the home campaign item...as it pertains to xill.
*Vote to Reject.
*Oh my word, really? I think I've been implanted by a xill. I just want to say that one more time. Xill. Ok, a couple more. Xill, xill, xill.
*Either this guy is a DM who loves xill or a player whose DM loves xill and he hates them and wants them gone!
*Planets infested with xill invaders? Oi vey.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Orb of Mists
*Eh. It's a bit niche with the whole mist theme. I'm not super-keen on absorbing the spells and releasing them again, but I like how they nerfed the length of time they can be stored. So, it's not like you can put cloudkill in this thing have it hang around forever. I also like how it requires a dispel magic effect to absorb a spell, but they really ought to just specify the caster level at which it works. And, if successful, the spell is absorbed.
*I also like that even after storing the spell it's not any faster to release it again. It still requires a standard action to "cast" it again. I suppose the orb lets anyone (meaning of even of a non-spellcasting class) to use the orb to recast the spell. So, a wizard could impart such an item to one of his servants and have them release a stinking cloud, etc. while on some mission that only takes a couple of hours to complete.
*I guess the bottom line is how innovative we see this item as being. It's a tight theme. It mechanically works okay (mostly). They did a decent job following the template (though you don't need to specify caster level again in the construction requirements if it's the same as the item's CL entry). So, I'll say...
*...Weak Keep.
*So you store cloudkill in it doubling your cloudkill every other day? Are there any other "mists" PCs would care about? Poison gas maybe? Natural fog or mists would be pointless to absorb, they'd just refill the space almost instantly.
*...Weak Reject
*Is it really, though? The item's description states, "Spell effects absorbed in this way last for one hour per spell level before fading away." That means if you stored cloudkill in this thing, it would last just 5 hours. Not enough time to reprepare all your spells or spell slots again...as you'd need 8 hours of rest first.
*So its useless except as a time-delay, or a way to give your cloudkill spell to a buddy? I guess it also upgrades the spell if you're not a 9th level caster too. I'm still a Reject on this one.
*Reject. Neil if you like it that much, ticket it and keep it.
*Nah. I don't like it that much. I'm only a Weak Keep. I suspect Sean would nix it as well, anyway. So, I'll do the honors and he can redeem it, if he wants.
*Re: specifying the caster level at which the dispel magic effect to absorb a spell works -- Technically that's covered by the CL 9th in the item stat block.
*Unclear to me if, once you've absorbed a mist, you can cast that stored mist 3/day, or is a stored mist expended after the first use, and the other 2/day are either obscuring mist or mists you acquire later.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Hoard Watcher
*Lame. It's the item that always protects your precious "whatever" from everything and helps you track it down if anyone ever manages to steal it anyway. Yet another idea in the ongoing arms race between GM and player.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
Shadowbanish Cloak
*This is just an item designed to hide magic items equipped on the body which a PC doesn't want to have to part with before going to visit someone. Or they just want to make sure their gear is always kept stored in this thing, ready for instant recall, while they sleep, etc. Not Superstar.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Also, agree. Reject.
*Rejects.