Overheard at the Paizo office

[Alex Speidel]

Shay: Astronauts are banned. Neil Armstrong knows what he did.

[TriOmegaZero]

He's probably not sorry either.

[Shay Snow]

Shay: I was peeking through archetypes for things people might be willing to spend REAL AMERICAN DOLLARS on and that one hit me.

Shay: REAL CANADIAN DOLLARS for Jessica <3

Alex: REAL EUROPEAN DOLLARYDOOS

Shay: REAL AUSTRALIAN GOLDEN GAYTIMES

[Alex Speidel]

Jon: Is there something fun and suitably gay I can say? Asking for the straight dude

[Alex Speidel]

Shay: It's fine, just play a lasagna

[Rei Ko]

Jackson: I've been frantically trying to become Cosmo and it has not worked =( The grand illusion, broken

[Katina Davis]

Rei: you can do a lot with no collarbones
Rei: crime, for instance

[Tensor]

I'm looking more for this:

"Hey, did you see the new Pathfinder rulebook draft? The lore section is amazing!"

"Yes, and the new character class is going to blow people's minds. It's unlike anything we've done before."

"Marketing wants us to highlight the expanded Bestiary in the next update. Those new monsters are epic!"

"Agreed. But first, we need to finalize the playtest schedule. Players are eager to get their hands on the new mechanics."

"Also, don't forget to check the forum feedback on the last adventure path. We might need to tweak a few things based on player input."

"Noted. By the way, there's a meeting at 3 PM to discuss the collaboration with the third-party developers. Make sure to bring the proposal documents."

"And remember, we have the livestream Q&A tomorrow. We need to prepare some talking points about the upcoming releases."

"Right. Let's ensure we have all the details about the new campaign settings ready. Fans are going to love it."

[Glenn Elliott]

Lee: not much that we can do.
Sonja: scream into the void?
Lee: that's a daily recurring task.

[Cosmo Cultist]

Rei Ko wrote:

Jackson: I've been frantically trying to become Cosmo and it has not worked =( The grand illusion, broken

The Great One cannot be so easily duplicated!

[The when]

Glenn Elliott wrote:

Lee: not much that we can do.

Sonja: scream into the void?
Lee: that's a daily recurring task.

Shouldn’t do that…

The void might scream back.

[Katina Davis]

Rue: [to Alex] anything for you, king
Alex: A VO called me God today, everyone needs to stop inflating my ego, I already have a complex and you're only making it worse
Mike W: You know we kill gods these days at Paizo. Watch your back.

[Giygas, the Omnipotent Madness]

The when wrote:

Glenn Elliott wrote:

Lee: not much that we can do.

Sonja: scream into the void?
Lee: that's a daily recurring task.

Shouldn’t do that…

The void might scream back.

Ư̸̧̭͉̫̋̃̅̊̋̈́̾̅́̇̈̕͘Ų̵̡̡͓͚̱̙͖̻̞͙͉͎̗̋̊̃̀̈̈͋͠U̸͇̓́̑͑̑̂͆͊̀͛͑͠͝U̴͆̅͒͌̆̋͆͒̈̓̋͆̕ ̧͈̭̱̜̮͍̖̻̜̥̻ͅǗ̷̮͙̭̼̃͂̈́̊̅̌͘͘ͅǗ̸̼̮̘̠̲̖͛͛̎̄͊͂̓͝͝U̵̠̭̝͙͇͖͐̅́̈̒̚̕͝͝Ǔ̸̓̏͋̃̀̈́̀̈ ̙͇͉̥͓̿̋U̸̝̺͐̊̽̆́́̀̇̉̌͗͌Ú̵̥̣̂̅̾̋̇̿͂̒Ū̷̧̟̤̗͎͙͇̞̟̘̊̾͊̒̒̇͌͝Ŭ̸̢̧̢̫͚̻̭̞͕̼̹͓͠U̶ ̹̾H̷̞͓͈̪̖̘̎̔̔̍̅͑̐͑̄͐̾͛͆̚Ȟ̶̠̖̝͂͌̓́̋̾̇̿̓̕͝͠H̷̡̪͑̃̎̅̓̽̿̓̊̑̄̚A̶̺͉͖͍͈͍̖̗̘̋̓͐̾̈̇ ̡̟͎̻ͅA̶̡̛͇̥͛̅͋̅̾͌̄̿͌̔͝A̵̛͕͙̯̹̹̣̙͕̬͈̠̹̋̃̏̀̕͜Ȃ̷̠͎̖̖̭̱̟̠̠̲̓̎̾́͐̔̊̇͊̅̉̓̿̕Å̵̒͠ ̦̟͓̺A̷̩̝̫̣͈̱̼̤͇̘͙̒̾̋̔͑͜͝ͅĀ̵̭̙̖̖̲̆̎̾̊̈́̀̎̚Ǘ̶̺͇̥͖̖̫͚͓̎͆̓̀̍͘̚͘͠͝Ứ̸͋̔͋͋̊̊̅͋͝ ̣̻̙̳͚̼̄Ư̶͈̩̝̈́̄̈́͑̅͐͗͋̚Ų̵̳̱̖̫̼̣̠͍̭̼̳̤̊̒͂͜G̷̱̼̜̻͚͚͚̘͔̮̺̅̄͌̈́͝G̷̢̫̏̓̃͗̏̊͗͐̎̈́̋͝ ̨̤͙̞̩͖̙̖̭̼̲͙G̴͎̻̝̅̾̏̎̈́̈̕͝G̵̨̠̗̼͈̍̿͝H̶̨̳̪̳̳̣̃͗̇̎̋̎̇͋̕̕͝H̴̢̞̘̠͉͔͓͎̑̍̾̔̄̈́̀͠͝H̶ ̧͉̳̦̺̀̆̑̋͒͊̉͒̋͆̓̍̑͘̚ͅḨ̷̯̬͔̻͈̆̇ͅḢ̵̨̡̼̘͕̗̩͈̼̼͐̔̃̀͂̇̈̊͒̿͂̚͝

[Cohle Slaad]

The when wrote:

Glenn Elliott wrote:

Lee: not much that we can do.

Sonja: scream into the void?
Lee: that's a daily recurring task.

Shouldn’t do that…

The void might scream back.

"If you gaze long into The Abyss, there is a non-zero chance The Abyss may UwU back."

[Kobold Catgirl]

actually that's if you close your eyes at the Abyss. if you stare, it's OwO.

[Dustin Knight]

Is a Sisterhood of Devils a Sinrority?

[Alex Speidel]

[Identity withheld] "So I established an unopenable door--"
Daigle: "Yeah, those are called walls."
[the rest of the call loses their mind for two minutes]

[Ba Dum Tish]

Dustin Knight wrote:

Is a Sisterhood of Devils a Sinrority?

Ba dum tish!

[Dustin Knight]

Dustin: Aww where am I going to find space for my feat that lets you drunk drive a forklift full of drugs with sawtooth sabres while praising Mother Vulture in flail snail.

(This one is for you, org play volunteers!)

[Shay Snow]

Shay: If I get trampled in the crowds I just want everyone to know: Josh isn’t allowed to have my legos

Josh: Not even the cool spaceship ones?!

[Souls At War]

Shay Snow wrote:

Shay: If I get trampled in the crowds I just want everyone to know: Josh isn’t allowed to have my legos

Josh: Not even the cool spaceship ones?!

Why do I imagine the following would be: "Shay: Especially the cool spaceship ones." ?

[Dustin Knight]

Editors be like: "No problem for us! We eat widows and orphans for breakfast!"

[Alex Speidel]

Maya: I love ominous lunch blood.

[Maya Coleman]

Jason: If you like swords on your swords, we put swords on them.

[Maya Coleman]

Eleanor: Love what you do, and you'll never go to hell a day in your afterlife.

[Glenn Elliott]

Dustin: Technomancer is not a space wizard. It's a data wizard, or dawizard for short.

[Ed Reppert]

Google "Cheech Wizard". :-)

[Rue Dickey]

"Oh no, there's wolves!" - Joe Pasini

[Maya Coleman]

Luis: An aberration. I don't need to tell you about it. It's gross and weird, throw it at your players.

[Shay Snow]

Shay: Hello Corn has discovered the boneless couch and how close he can be to me
Luis: boneless couch????
Shay: It's got no bones!
Alex: is your couch not boneless, luis
Luis: I GUESS

[Maya Coleman]

Rue: Is this another part of our gremlin problem?

[Maya Coleman]

Jason Keeley: And then his body becomes all blurry and whatnot, and then he thinks he's going to bite you with his fangy face.

Also Jason Keeley: These skeletons are too stupid to flank.

[Alex Speidel]

Michelle: how long do you guys think it would take to eat a Huge creature?
Daigle: By myself?
Josh: for a human?
James: I would look at how long it takes to eat a RL elephant maybe?
Alex: we have a normal job
Daigle: I don't think it would be possible before it spoils, but if you're preserving it you could stretch that out over a long time.
[...]
Daigle: From a totally normal search, the kind that never comes up in this job, a typical human feels satiated after consuming 1-1.5 liters of food.
Michelle: per this guy, it'd take a WHILE

[quibblemuch]

Alex Speidel wrote:

Michelle: how long do you guys think it would take to eat a Huge creature?

Marking as FAQ candidate...