Granted! Blood flow to your brain stops.
I wish I could find a more lucrative job.
Granted! And one idea follows another, and before you know it, someone is finding your skeletal remains in front of your computer.
I wish Crazy's diet wasn't messing up my cooking habits.
Wish granted you lose your mouth and are unable to eat any more so you can cook what ever you want and no longer need to worry about eating it.
I wish I Led Zepplin would get back together.
You get more time, but you can only watch episode one in that time, for all the other episodes you get even less time.
I wish it was normal to sing out-loud in public places.
And you've got... nothing !
I wish I was not ugly !
your beauty becomes so unmatched that people get jealousy and kill you.
I wish for that really awesome guitar from Wayne's World.
"i wish upon a star my gm wasn't an a$$"
Granted, but all players lose interest within a week of playing it and drop out.
I wish for immortality, and I don't mean immortality by means of a soul, but by means of a physical body.
granted. Netflix crashes. forever. permanently. thanks a lot.
I wish for the power to control the direction news anchors look when they talk.
Granted. People get back at mystical zombies and destroy them utterly. Then they are overcome by a virus which doesn't care at all about the whole concept of biology and modern science.
I wish I had a nice cup of coffee this morning.
There it is: all green scaled and heavily armored, its gigantic maw slavering with primal fury, and yet very obedient... to me !
I'm sure you will do honor to your name, mate !
I wish I was rewarded for all the good deeds I did during my life.
Granted; you receive a coupon for a free bowl of soup in the mail.
I wish to find tomorrow a 10 pound gold nuget in my backyard.
Granted! You get a coupon for a bowl of bacterial mud soup. Hey, it's free!
I wish I had a cheeseburger.
Granted !
You find yourself in front of a cheesy burger joint, painted with candy-ass bright red color and attended by waitresses all dressed like pom-pom girls (the epitome of american fashion faux-pas).
Here they serve only coke-flavored herbal tea and mudrock burgers* (no veggie burgers, because that would be hurtful to the widdle little plants: no plant was harmed in the making of this sammich !)
*2 slices of plastic tasting "bread" containing one big splash of strawberry-flavored mud.
I wish I was humble.
Yeah, you wish !
I wish I was more handsome !
Granted. The spider sac that was laid there bursts open and you are consumed from within.
I wish that I could magically transform into the likeness of any other human and back again at will.
Granted. You get the ability to transform into the likeness of anyone you can imagine. And then, after less time than a fraction of a second, you turn right back, just as you specified!
I wish for nothing.
Granted. Everything spontaneously returns to nothingness.
I wish to finish my dissertation.
Granted !
You know exactly what you would like to sing - an entire symphony of music bursting spontaneously in existence in your head, with such figurative strength that your eardrums explode and you're blinded and paralyzed on the left side of your body.
So... about your actual singing performance... well: good luck !
I wish I was never ill ever again.
You die. Well, you don't have to worry about illness anymore!
I wish for happiness.
Granted. You're out fishing on a little lake, somewhere, when you feel something catch... it's a big one! After six and a half hours of work, you finally pull it above the water, only to get eaten whole by a great white shark.
I wish there were more great white sharks in people's bathtubs.
Granted. A whole new fad sweeps the bathtub world, replacing every rubber duck with rubber great white sharks. Adorable.
I wish I didn't have to deal with people.
Granted !
All people are replaced with gelatinous cubes of goo !
They eye you curiously while doing inquisitive "Shluuuurppp ? Shluuuurppp !" sounds. Have a good day !
I wish people would recognize my superiority in all areas of life, except the knitting of tea cozies.
Granted!
The gelatinous cubes people were transformed into recognize your superiority in the area of taste.
"Shluuuuuuurp!!!"
I wish people had two spleens.
Granted !
Except their second unnatural spleen erupts from their back and attempts to devour them à la Alien, while they go screaming horribly "Why, Sissyl ? Whyyyyyy ?! Arrrrrg !"
(I knew you were an evil one, Sissyl ; it takes one to recognize another one. But I remain the most ignoble of the two of us, and you'll have no cake !)
I wish I had a Playstation 4.
Thing is... you still need to corrupt my wish, and what you suggested isn't what I'd call a corruption of it. Fix that, and I'll consider getting you your PS4.
Granted !
Except their second unnatural spleen erupts from their back and attempts to devour them à la Alien, while they go screaming horribly "Why, Sissyl ? Whyyyyyy ?! Arrrrrg !"
(I knew you were an evil one, Sissyl ; it takes one to recognize another one. But I remain the most ignoble of the two of us, and you'll have no cake !)
I wish I had a Playstation 4.
You get it. But it seemed too bugged they took it back from you the next day.
I wish i won 5 million euros