G.I. Joe Declared Real American Hero


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Scarab Sages

Real American Hero?

All they ever really did was fight Cobra. Does that really make them heroes?


Cobra just wants to have a one world goverment utopia with Cobra Commander in charge, and to fight the evil imperialist U.S. and their Capitalist Running Dogs. What's so bad about that?
If you ask me, G.I. Joe is the enemy to world peace.
I think that Duke needs to be brought up on War Crimes for waterboarding Destro. Imperialist pig.

Scarab Sages

Duke was just following orders! Destro deserved it! He wore that cheesy outfit with the big red collar and open shirt!


Paramilitaries fighting terrorists? Why don't we call them GI Blackwater, a real American fiasco?

I vote for Cobra Commanders ideal. I heard he will unite us under the banner of the greatest good for the greatest number. GI Joe is a tired paradigm of a failed state.


Cobra? Those guys? One time they shang-hai'd my parrot and convinced me I had amnesia. I broke free, kicked there asses, then partied until I had amnesia. Duke was so pissed, I apparently spent all night making prank phone calls to Snake Eyes asking him to speak up and writing bad fan-fic about Lady Jaye getting it on with Baroness. He threw my ass in the brig for three days, but it was worth it! I think...

Silver Crusade

Cobra doesn't look so tough to me.

Scarab Sages

What about this Cobra?

Silver Crusade

The last G.I. Joe I saw was almost two decades ago and was about 15 cm tall. A bit short to be a hero!

Liberty's Edge

Focusing on a single enemy, who isn't much of a threat anyway? Sounds like the American military to me. ;)


staggers through the thread

I heard my fellows were having a party in here.

Scarab Sages

Yo Joe! vs Cobra La la la la la....


So... Real American Heroes (TM) spend their resources stopping evil plans involving carving a face in the moon? And can't aim worth beans? And have to dodge sinking icebergs?

The Exchange

Nebulous_Mistress wrote:
So... Real American Heroes (TM) spend their resources stopping evil plans involving carving a face in the moon? And can't aim worth beans? And have to dodge sinking icebergs?

We had to cut costs somewhere. So while we made sure they went to ninja skilz academy for martial prowess. Management had to defer cost somewhere and as such we sent them in bulk to the Imperial storm trooper marksmanship school. In retrospect we should not have gone with the cheapest bidder, but as they say hindsight is 20/20.

The Exchange

I had forgotten that nobody actually got hit by all those lasers flying around. I think the only exception was when Cobra had those robots (called B.A.T.s or something like that) and Joe mowed them down with ease.

Scarab Sages

The B.A.T.S. were cool. I'd love to own one.


Fitting and proper, a plastic hero for a plastic nation, made in China, for a country owned by China.


Gee, I guess that means we'll be around forever in a landfill.

Scarab Sages

I always thought the Larry Hama comic was far superior to the cartoon series.


Irv wrote:
Fitting and proper, a plastic hero for a plastic nation, made in China, for a country owned by China.

And knowing is half the battle!

Shadow Lodge

Aberzombie wrote:
I always thought the Larry Hama comic was far superior to the cartoon series.

That goes without saying. At least he presented Cobra as a viable threat. The cartoon series Cobra was so ineffective that G. I. Joe didn't really need to exist. Although Hama was a little bit too Snake-Eyes focused.

Scarab Sages

Kthulhu wrote:
Although Hama was a little bit too Snake-Eyes focused.

True. Although I liked the character of Snake-Eyes, sometimes I thought he was overdone. My favorite issue with him was #4, Operation: Wingfield, where they infiltrate the militia and Snake-Eyes kind of keeps watch over the place from the outside. One part had him writing in a journal, documenting what he was doing. I always liked that.

Scarab Sages

So, something I've always wondered - what do people think looks more bad ass:

Cobra Commander with Hood?

Or

Cobra Commander with Helmet


The Cobra commander with hood puts me in mind of
Laibach

The Exchange

Helmet.

There was also this version.

I'd go Helmet>Battle Armor>Hood. Hate the hood.

Scarab Sages

snobi wrote:

There was also this version.

Ah yes, that was from back in the days of the Marvel comic, when one of the Fred's built the armor for CC. The same Fred then shot CC and masqueraded as him for a while.

Shadow Lodge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 8

snobi wrote:

Helmet.

There was also this version.

I'd go Helmet>Battle Armor>Hood. Hate the hood.

+1, Helmet over Hood all the way.

Scarab Sages

Benchak the Nightstalker wrote:
snobi wrote:

Helmet.

There was also this version.

I'd go Helmet>Battle Armor>Hood. Hate the hood.

+1, Helmet over Hood all the way.

+2. I always preferred the helmet, especially after reading one of the earlier comics, when he's captured by the Joes and reveals the helmet is lined with explosives that'll detonate if they try to force it off. That's a spine of steel and some pretty big jewels, to go around wearing a bomb on your head.

The Exchange

I always preferred the hood. Not sure why.

Scarab Sages

Crimson Jester wrote:
I always preferred the hood. Not sure why.

BLASPHEMER!!

Shadow Lodge

Hood worn over helmet! WINNER!

Scarab Sages

Going back to the old Marvel Comic series:

There were two mad scientist characters employed by Cobra:

Dr. Venom - creator of the brain wave scanner

Dr. Mindbender - creator of Serpentor

Who is the more evil and badass?

The Exchange

No shirt + purple pants = evil
No shirt + purple pants =/= badass

Not knowing anything about Dr. Venom, I'd say Dr. Mindbender was more evil, but less of a badass.


snobi wrote:

No shirt + purple pants = evil

No shirt + purple pants =/= badass

Not knowing anything about Dr. Venom, I'd say Dr. Mindbender was more evil, but less of a badass.

Also unaware of Dr. Venom, I must also agree.

Mindbender may have lived in the same zip code as BadAss, USA, but he brought down the property values.

Scarab Sages

Dr. Venom


Ive always preferred the Hood, myself as well.

The Exchange

Aberzombie wrote:

Going back to the old Marvel Comic series:

There were two mad scientist characters employed by Cobra:

Dr. Venom - creator of the brain wave scanner

Dr. Mindbender - creator of Serpentor

Who is the more evil and badass?

Dr. Mindbender.

The Exchange

TheWhiteknife wrote:
Ive always preferred the Hood, myself as well.

See SEE SEE SEE

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

The hood looks awesome and it fits from a design perspective (cobras being "hooded" afterall,) but it isn't very practical. I imagine the commander has to hold that thing on with both hands any time a wind kicks up or it will either blow off or leave him temporarily blinded. The reflective helmet, on the other hand, looks pretty cool and it's practical and intimidating but it doesn't really say "cobra" to me. It just makes him look like he's a higher-ranking viper or Cobra infantryman. Vipers wore the same reflective mask making them ideal faceless minions and the infantry had the same helmet, but I think Cobra Commander would want to stand out from his troops. Ultimately, I'm split on the hood/helmet look. Both are equally good and much better than the battle armor, the awful live-action version or this.

Dr. Venom was a hack who never even got an action figure and died like a punk. Dr. Mindbender was a monocle-wearing psycho with an awesome moustache who experimented on himself and plundered the tombs of history's greatest jerks. This is no contest.

Scarab Sages

I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.

The Exchange

Aberzombie wrote:
I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.

Still looked dorky.

Scarab Sages

Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.
Still looked dorky.

gets his Cobra Commander costume out in order to creep around CJ's house late at night

The Exchange

Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.
Still looked dorky.
gets his Cobra Commander costume out in order to creep around CJ's house late at night

Watch out for the ninja Bison.

Scarab Sages

Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.
Still looked dorky.
gets his Cobra Commander costume out in order to creep around CJ's house late at night
Watch out for the ninja Bison.

Hooves of death?

The Exchange

Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.
Still looked dorky.
gets his Cobra Commander costume out in order to creep around CJ's house late at night
Watch out for the ninja Bison.
Hooves of death?

With Karate Action. Not to mention the methane attacks.

Scarab Sages

Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
I believe the helmet was actually considered his "battle helmet", and even referred to that way once.
Still looked dorky.
gets his Cobra Commander costume out in order to creep around CJ's house late at night
Watch out for the ninja Bison.
Hooves of death?
With Karate Action. Not to mention the methane attacks.

Then I'll have to bring along my Night Attack Environmentalist, with Kung Fu Grip.


G.I. Joe is one of my all time favorite cartoons. However, the live action movie, like most attempts to rekindle interest in such childhood memories, angered me to a point that I wanted to drive to California and beat the crap out of all those involved.

Also, Cobra Commander is better with his Helmet. The hood makes him look like a Nazi.

Scarab Sages

I was slightly annoyed by the movie as well.


G.I. Joe a hero? Sure, if you like your heroes to make immoral offers to kids

ZombieTroll wrote:
Gee, I guess that means we'll be around forever in a landfill.

A Human Occupied Landfill?


JMD031 wrote:

G.I. Joe is one of my all time favorite cartoons. However, the live action movie, like most attempts to rekindle interest in such childhood memories, angered me to a point that I wanted to drive to California and beat the crap out of all those involved.

Also, Cobra Commander is better with his Helmet. The hood makes him look like a Nazi.

Nazis wore hoods? Don't you mean KKK?

Maybe Nazi wore a hood because Nindar was kinky.


KaeYoss wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

G.I. Joe is one of my all time favorite cartoons. However, the live action movie, like most attempts to rekindle interest in such childhood memories, angered me to a point that I wanted to drive to California and beat the crap out of all those involved.

Also, Cobra Commander is better with his Helmet. The hood makes him look like a Nazi.

Nazis wore hoods? Don't you mean KKK?

Maybe Nazi wore a hood because Nindar was kinky.

They probably didn't but the character appeared to be very Nazi-esque so maybe I'm confusing his military style with his wardrobe choices.

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