Deep 6 FaWtL

[Trinam]

Then I shall go naked.

[John Napier 698]

lisamarlene wrote:

I need help.

I committed a bad n00b GM error yesterday.
We had finished up a Beginner Box extension module and were in Sandpoint doing wrap-up and level-up. The last thing the module tells you is that the Orc Boss has a message on him in Orcish. The party gives it to Mayor Kendra, she gets a wizard to come in and translate it, and the party asks, "What does it say?"
I realize I hadn't decided what I would tell the party yet.
I look down at the two options on the sheet in front of me, and I see
"Maybe it’s not a message from the orc chieftain, but instead it’s orders from a rogue wizard who was recently banished from Sandpoint for practicing necromancy…one who promises that he will use his knowledge of the area (and an army of the undead) to help the orcs to once and for all destroy the town?"
So I decide, "Hey, yeah, that looks cool," and I run with it.
My Kindergartener asks, "What's necromancy?"
I explain, gently.
My almost-four-year-old says, "Cool! Let's kill it!"
My husband does the Snoopy eyebrows look he does when he feels I've made a reckless decision.
I try to punt, but I'm feeling panicked and my brain and my mouth are on different wavelengths. I ramble on a bit about how Sherriff Hemlock is going to send a squad to scout out the wizard's camp with a couple of mages from Turondarok Academy and report back in a few days' time, and sent the party on yet another random ancillary module to continue to boost up a bit.
NOW WHAT DO I DO?!?

The translation, while correct, is erroneous. Every 'n' words, say 3 or 4, comprise the real message. And Sense Motive rolls are indicated, as the real message is full of innuendo and crude metaphors. The best way to send secret messages is to make them seem like something else. Say, an order for 500 pounds of copper is actually a request for 500 soldiers, and so on. Hope this helps. :)

[Tacticslion]

Re: lisamarlene and NH's suggestion - he basically stole the one I was going to add, but, if you need a backstory about how a 3rd level cleric could have such a powerful robe, it's actually not too hard to justify. Simply have an actual necromancer that cray-cray blue-beard is a disciple of, say, a skeletal champion, or something, and have that guy (a crafter-cleric, naturally) have given these robes to his disciples before leaving to follow his master - a bonafide lich - into the great beyond.

The entire purpose was some sort of insane scheme of ever-weaker-undead, and since you can't have non-sentient disciples, skeletal champion dude was like, "Yeah, cool, we stop here."

That probably doesn't stop the ugly evil sm***-like figure from calling the mindless skeletons his "disciples" though - remember, they're all insane.

Also could help if the skellies are dancers, maybe play the soundtrack to Crypt of the Necrodancer*, or, if that's not a good style, something more like Marley and Marley or Shiver My Timbers - the former could be good if you're planning on seguing into a (STRONGLY EDITED!) Rise of the Runelords and give a moral about greed, while the latter could be especially great if you want to indicate that there's buried treasure and this jerk is a disciple of the derro pirate what buried it - or, if you think they'd like it (and you're okay with some of old-school Disney's more macabre stuff), the Silly Symphonies - The Skeleton Dance, and certainly describing antics like one of them riding another that's upside-down, like a pogo stick, or playing their own ribs like xylophones could be funny enough to distract from the macabre or scary nature.

* The story for Crypt of the Necrodancer could even be a great thing to pilfer for your own story. Having a villain be the tragic end of their own heroic journey, only to be defeated/rescued by a new hero (the PCs!), in order to turn around and beat the "real" villain, only for it to turn out that said "villain" is really the tragic end of their own heroic journey, only to be rescued by a new hero (the PCs! plus former villain!), in order to turn around and beat the "real" villain, only for it to turn out that said "villain" is really the tragic end of their own heroic journey, only to be rescued... ]it's a cursed fiddle lute, spoiler, the real villain is a cursed fiddle lute that turns people bad, there, okay, [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI_zOU8AZNY]saved you a bunch of time that may or may not be well-spent anyway (I don't know, 'cause I only just started it)

None of those are guaranteed to be "good" for your kids, of course - I don't know their actual ages, or the comfort-level of your home with such (and everyone, rather justifiably, is different!).

Bear in mind, that the robe rather explicitly,

Quote:

The skeleton or zombie is not under the control of the wearer of the robe, but may be subsequently commanded, rebuked, turned, or destroyed.

... so the "necromancer" who pulls 'em out, cackling madly, only for them to start dancing around and engage in tom-foolery with each other might make for some amusing (and less scary) times, though they should also attack creatures (kind of at random, though - if you give them the same effect as the "confused" condition, with fluffed variants, it could be both funny and childishly 'scary' maybe).

Depending on your kids' characters ability to handle a lot of skeletons, you might want to make it an even more defective robe' than normal, and give the skeletons the drunk, ofuda (for being made of paper!), young simple (for just smaller/weaker; doesn't need to be actually "young"), repeatedly drained (if one of the bad guys was a vampire), or addle-minded (if they were badly messed with by one of the "higher" baddies; doesn't need to be a vampire) templates, or simply reduce the DR by 2-5, leaving "decrepit" skeletons.

Anyway, hope those ideas help!

[Limeylongears]

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

I think my father has become a conspiracy theorist, and I am sad.

I had a merry time trying to convince a co-worker why free energy is a load of balls last Friday.

That must mean I'm one of THEM.

I guess because free energy has been, or could be invented, if not for the nefarious machinations of the fossil fuel industry?

(Conventional utilities are actually in a legal/political battle for profits with solar suppliers here in AZ, but it's an entirely banal situation.)

The example I was given was a man in Scotland who put sekrit water into his car and the car ran forever on sekrit water and everybody could get limitless sekrit water cars were it not for the Insiders suppressing the technology.

Renewable energy is a different matter - it's converting the energy from its original form, whatever it happens to be, into electricity where the expense and difficulty lies, IMO, so it isn't 'free' after everything's taken into account. Whether or not flaming bicycles are a renewable resource is something only Freehold & Fritzy can answer

[gran rey de los surround sound]

Renewable or not, they do seem to have an awful lot of flaming bikes.

[John Napier 698]

Limey,

I think that "free" energy is discussed in the context of "perpetual motion machines," or some such nonsense. Perpetual motion machines can never work, not because of any conspiracy, but because such machines would violate the Laws of Thermodynamics. See this for a more complete explanation. Essentially, such machines will run out of kinetic energy from friction.

[John Napier 698]

gran rey de los surround sound wrote:

Renewable or not, they do seem to have an awful lot of flaming bikes.

The flaming bikes are from an unlimited expense account, provided that the bikes are solely used for comedic effect.

[Tacticslion]

Oh!

Also, something like a dirge bard; if you add flame dancer, you can drop lots of anti-fire stuff (if I did my reading right, those two archetypes should stack).

Now, first, make the dude level ten. Wwwwhhhhaaaaaa-...?!

Yes, but hold with me.

Make him level ten, but make him working on a ritual to attempt to learn how to empower the creatures he animates, turning them into burning skeletons, which will give him a significant upgrade in power!

However, working on this ritual (maybe creating an item, or something), requires him/her to basically use up all of his/her 3rd (and probably 2nd!) level spells.

Now... and here's the key... give it a really lousy spell selection.

At tenth level, the bard has:

Quote:

0/1/2/3/4 [level]
*/5/4/3/1 [per day]
6/5/5/4/2 [known]

So... let's make a sucky bard!

Start with 4th level; select 2 known from: blood song (blood is necromancy, right?), bountiful banquet (perfect for urgathoa/gluttony/undead themes), conversing wind (great for being spooky; lousy for being powerful), deadman's contingency (actually could be powerful; use with care), ghostbane dirge (great for necromancer-bard, useless v. 3rd level PCs), insect scouts (what evil is he planning by looking?!), legend lore (PCs are too low-level to worry), phantom steed, communal (great for mounting an undead army!), secure shelter (where do you think he's been sleeping?), speak with plants (evil druid?! ... no), or unseen crew (is he not from around here?)

Any of those are pretty lousy for providing power.

Recall, the ritual requires the expenditure of all (or at least some) of her third level spells, so the third level selection doesn't really matter - you've got a bonus spell fireball (the reason we're denying her 3rd level spells, but also to make burning skeletons); but you have 4 to choose, so here are some options are: arcane concordance (powerful when paired with magic he doesn't have), campfire wall (useful to wander), detect anxiety (creepy guy is creepy! ... and harmless), discern value (looking for rare components?), minor dream (bad dreams, muwahahah~!), phantom steed (for long-range travel), pierce disguise (used to pass his earlier exams or fight assassins or something), purging finale (unless your group uses negative effects), rags to riches (vain necromancer?!), see invisibility (useful for fighting ghosts, or at least running away), seek thoughts (find useful information), speak with animals (evil druid?!... no), or tiny hut (what, and waste a powerful 4th level spell on shelter?! p'shaw~!).

Few of those are really powerful, and those that kind of are won't really be useful to the bard as he is. She'll mostly be out of that power, or wasting it against heroes.

So now let's look at 2nd level; the spell flaming sphere could be too powerful, so you may want to expend his second level slots, too. Anyway, choose 5 from: animal messenger (how do you think that orc got his message?!), animal trance (useful only for taking animals out of the fight), arcane disruption (unless you've an arcane caster), blood biography (necromancy!), commune with birds (not so innocent, if you're a Pazuzu worshipper!), dark whispers (creepy guy!), detect desires (useful to tempt people!), disguise other ("no undead here, sir!"), dream shield (if afflicted by Leng stuff - kids never need to know, bit of adult thought in the game), enter image (great for being bad guy, lousy for being powerful), ghostbane dirge (useful, if you're fighting ghosts, like a necromancer might! ... not PCs), ghostly disguise (spooooky!), hydrophobia (water is ssscccaaarrrryyyy~!), locate object (he has his own quests, you know!), open book ("ah, yes, you must be Fred; we are not so different, you and I..."), retrieve item ("I have a wwwaaaannnnddd~!"), silk to steel ("beware my scarf!"), tongues (useful for talking to PCs if the character wouldn't have to know their language), or versatile weapon (useful for fighting undead, not 3rd level PCs)

And now, 1st level; you get burning hands for free, and five more: abundant ammunition (GM doesn't have to keep track of ammo), alarm (I know they're coming! I must prepare with my useless spells!), borrow skill (useful for survival from those animals), comprehend languages (useful for translating ancient rituals, like, say, how to get burning skeletons), detect charm/metal/secret doors (useful for the villain for various reasons, worthless against PCs), fabricate disguise (if your kids are fans of Series of Unfortunate Events, you've got another Olaf), feather fall (useful, but not in battle!), forced quiet (how sneaky he is!), fumbletongue (so meeeaaannnn~!), identify (useful! not in battle), jury-rig (useful!), know peerage (useful for limited situations), lighten object (useful for weak bards), read weather/see alignment/ventriloquism (useful, depending on the build, but mostly for being natury/spooky-knowing/stupid, depending on the build you want), unseen servant (fun! spooky! not battle-useful), youthful appearance (so he appears young, instead of decrepit!)

For cantrips: anything other than daze, flare, and unwitting ally; perhaps be sure to grab haunted fey aspect (or not).

Anyway, so what kind of bard do we have?

A lousy one! D'ho~!

Derro are cool, but actually make poweful bards, I'm afraid.

Humanoids make good opponents.

Duergar are actually great (-4 CHA), as are goblins and orcs.

The trick, of course, is that we're going to make this dude front-load on physical scores, then make them ancient.

BAM: instant story. Dude was super-powerful in his youth, survived mostly by chutzpah and a surprising amount of skill and physical ability. As s/he aged, s/he found that mysterious arcane power came to them, even as the body weakened.

So now, the dude(tte?)'s got -6 to physical and +3 mental.

More, the pathetic creature ticked off (or perhaps is or was just being brutally "trained by") a powerful nercomancer, and has been cursed (-4 penalty to attacks and saves).

So what does that net? At 10th level, it means a +3/-1 to attack, plus physical changes.

Push a lot of "useless" or "low-power" loot, too.

That's actually pretty good for 3rd level characters.

Now, here's the thing: why do this? Why bother with a 10th level?

Because those hit dice means the baddie will last for days with all those hp, but the poor scores, saves, and attacks, means that s/he's not that much of a threat, over-all.

The story makes its own kind of internal sense, and beating a 10th level creature could feel pretty amazing for 3rd level characters.

Skills include acrobatics, climb, disguise (?), escape artist, perception (?), perform, sense motive, and slight of hand. Also craft and/or profession.

Feats: anything that lets her get away without using many weapons, or otherwise poor investments for a bard (proficiency with certain exotic weapons come to mind!).

Another option: adept. Take care! Adepts can be suprisingly potent.

Anyway, hope those ideas help! Enjoy!

[baron arem heshvaun]

Even gods cry, when stars die.

[Rysky]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

... the link just goes to the Reddit front page.

[Vidmaster7]

True but i did find the death star one which was quite interesting.

[captain yesterday]

The General and kids are all home not feeling well today.

Naturally, I work tonight and feel great in comparison. :-/

[baron arem heshvaun]

Big in Japan

[baron arem heshvaun]

Rysky wrote:

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

... the link just goes to the Reddit front page.

Let's try that again then.

[Rysky]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Rysky wrote:

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

... the link just goes to the Reddit front page.

Let's try that again then.

Sweet!

[Tacticslion]

captain yesterday wrote:

The General and kids are all home not feeling well today.

Naturally, I work tonight and feel great in comparison. :-/

I hear you.

My wife is sick, my youngest is sick, and my Eldest is... actually fine, so he goes to school, to violin, and TKD.

While I am glad he is not sick, this means that I (who have not slept - well, not much - due to the above two issues) must shuttle him from place to place. Hypothetically I, too, am supposed to be at TKD today.

I do not know if that last is going to happen.

I missed some of yesterday due to youngest not feeling well.

Blurg... :/

Sick sucks!

[Just a Mort]

One thing bad about bugs is it spreads to the entire family. Once someone in the family gets sick, it generally jumps all around until everyone's gotten it. I think fevers are the worst, especially when it comes to young kids. It can be quite a challenge to keep them drinking enough fluids, especially when they're not well.

[Freehold DM]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Big in Japan

YES

CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM GET HIS ASS KICKED BY GOJIRA

[Captain Yesterday, FaWtL 6 News]

Tiny T-Rex is actually feeling better, but it's kind of harsh to send the kindergartener to school when mom and big sis stay home.

It's super foggy and drizzly, because it was around forty all night long. So all that snow pack is melting, getting in the air, and staying put, or falling back down again.

Fun stuff!

[Freehold DM]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

I know I cried.

[Freehold DM]

Trinam wrote:

Then I shall go naked.

sob

I waited in a bush for days, hoping to gaze upon the new person's nudity... It seems I must wait longer...

orders more pizza

[NobodysHome]

Ah, the wonders of actually communicating with each other!

I sent out a carefully-crafted e-mail expressing my frustrations with those of my players who try to wring every last drop of functionality out of feats, spells, or abilities, twisting the English language into a mockery of itself in the process. (Many of them would make excellent lawyers.)

And my CotCT "problem player" immediately sent a heartfelt apology, a very nice note, and I know from past experience that he will be an exemplary player for the next 2-3 months. Yes, he'll fall back into his old habits eventually, but he really does mean well, and he really does try very hard.

It's just nice to communicate with people and have it work SO well, even if it's temporary.

Feeling a bit more chipper this morning... at least until I meet with my accountant to do my taxes later this morning.

Are taxes forbidden?:

For years, our taxes were a case study in why tax reform is needed: A 6-figure gross income reduced to an overall tax rate of 6-8% (total State plus Federal) due to a mortgage, two kids, and NobodysWife not working. Then, NobodysWife got a "real" job, pushing us into, "All those deductions you were taking? They don't count any more!" territory. So taxes for the last couple of years have been... painful. Yes, our gross income is higher-than-average, even for the Bay Area. But we've still got the two kids, the mortgage, and tons of debt from having to rebuild a lot of the house after we bought it. Having none of that count any more makes for No Fun Tax Time.

[Freehold DM]

Limeylongears wrote:

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

I think my father has become a conspiracy theorist, and I am sad.

I had a merry time trying to convince a co-worker why free energy is a load of balls last Friday.

That must mean I'm one of THEM.

I guess because free energy has been, or could be invented, if not for the nefarious machinations of the fossil fuel industry?

(Conventional utilities are actually in a legal/political battle for profits with solar suppliers here in AZ, but it's an entirely banal situation.)

The example I was given was a man in Scotland who put sekrit water into his car and the car ran forever on sekrit water and everybody could get limitless sekrit water cars were it not for the Insiders suppressing the technology.

Renewable energy is a different matter - it's converting the energy from its original form, whatever it happens to be, into electricity where the expense and difficulty lies, IMO, so it isn't 'free' after everything's taken into account. Whether or not flaming bicycles are a renewable resource is something only Freehold & Fritzy can answer

we recycle.

[John Napier 698]

Rysky wrote:

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

... the link just goes to the Reddit front page.

Rysky, I think this is what the Baron is talking about. :)

[Rysky]

John Napier 698 wrote:

Rysky wrote:

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

... the link just goes to the Reddit front page.

Rysky, I think this is what the Baron is talking about. :)

*nods*

[Eddie Frankfurt, Bike Salesman]

They're putting my kids through Clown College (Princeton).

[Ninja Cap'n Yesterday]

Hangs head in shame. Silently gets a container of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream.

[John Napier 698]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Rysky wrote:

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Even gods cry, when stars die.

... the link just goes to the Reddit front page.

Let's try that again then.

Part of the reason why I study astronomy. Few things are more destructive than a Supernova / Hypernova.

[NobodysHome]

Ninja Cap'n Yesterday wrote:

Hangs head in shame. Silently gets a container of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream.

I am totally lost.

But I encourage said behavior.

There are few things that cannot be resolved by ice cream.

[Ninja Cap'n Yesterday]

Eddie got ninja'd by two people. Very shameful.

I don't even like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Also, very shameful.

Gets Samoan Girl Scout Cookie Ice Cream instead.

[lisamarlene]

Tacticslion wrote:

Re: lisamarlene and NH's suggestion - he basically stole the one I was going to add, but, if you need a backstory about how a 3rd level cleric could have such a powerful robe, it's actually not too hard to justify. Simply have an actual necromancer that cray-cray blue-beard is a disciple of, say, a skeletal champion, or something, and have that guy (a crafter-cleric, naturally) have given these robes to his disciples before leaving to follow his master - a bonafide lich - into the great beyond.

The entire purpose was some sort of insane scheme of ever-weaker-undead, and since you can't have non-sentient disciples, skeletal champion dude was like, "Yeah, cool, we stop here."

That probably doesn't stop the ugly evil sm***-like figure from calling the mindless skeletons his "disciples" though - remember, they're all insane.

Also could help if the skellies are dancers, maybe play the soundtrack to Crypt of the Necrodancer*, or, if that's not a good style, something more like Marley and Marley or Shiver My Timbers - the former could be good if you're planning on seguing into a (STRONGLY EDITED!) Rise of the Runelords and give a moral about greed, while the latter could be especially great if you want to indicate that there's buried treasure and this jerk is a disciple of the derro pirate what buried it - or, if you think they'd like it (and you're okay with some of old-school Disney's more macabre stuff), the Silly Symphonies - The Skeleton Dance, and certainly describing antics like one of them riding another that's upside-down, like a pogo stick, or playing their own ribs like xylophones could be funny enough to distract from the macabre or scary nature.

Tacticslion is my hero.

I'm seeing something like "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" here (they loved Fantasia, so they will understand that the student was greedy, wanted to do things he wasn't ready to handle, didn't understand why it wasn't okay, then threw a temper tantrum and stomped off to go study with (actual necromancer), who had died and left his stuff lying about, so this wanna-be Emo Kylo Ren tries to use the old wizard's robe and staff and books but mistranslates key words of the spells, causing them to turn out not quite right in a funny way. Like the skeleton captain is supposed to have weapon mastery longsword, but is given mastery of long-word instead. But since skeletons can't actually talk, it just stands there, flapping its jawbone up and down and gesticulating wildly, trying to communicate. The only orcs that follow it are outcast orcs that washed out of their own tribes for random reasons who are impressed by the fancy trappings.

[John Napier 698]

:) Go for it!!!

By the way, many of us here on the boards are GMs, so we really have no problems in bashing out solutions for fellow GMs. Just ask, any of us would be glad to help out. :)

[Life Sized Tacticslion Prop]

[Adds cape]

[lisamarlene]

John Napier 698 wrote:

:) Go for it!!!

By the way, many of us here on the boards are GMs, so we really have no problems in bashing out solutions for fellow GMs. Just ask, any of us would be glad to help out. :)

Had a hunch that might be the case.

btw, I really liked your skip code suggestion. I've wanted to use that trope ever since I read the Addams Family tv show novelization (sadly lost now) that made a skip code out of a horrid poem about primroses.

But, because I was extemporizing wildly, I can't for the life of me remember what I said well enough to try to do that this time.

[John Napier 698]

lisamarlene wrote:

John Napier 698 wrote:

:) Go for it!!!

By the way, many of us here on the boards are GMs, so we really have no problems in bashing out solutions for fellow GMs. Just ask, any of us would be glad to help out. :)

Had a hunch that might be the case.

btw, I really liked your skip code suggestion. I've wanted to use that trope ever since I read the Addams Family tv show novelization (sadly lost now) that made a skip code out of a horrid poem about primroses.

But, because I was extemporizing wildly, I can't for the life of me remember what I said well enough to try to do that this time.

Good enough. Just keep that idea in your Box of GM tricks. Remember the first law of Misdirection, "Not everything may be as it seems."

By the way, I really like your idea of a failed apprentice.

[John Napier 698]

captain yesterday wrote:

John Napier 698 wrote:

:) Go for it!!!

By the way, many of us here on the boards are GMs, so we really have no problems in bashing out solutions for fellow GMs. Just ask, any of us would be glad to help out. :)

I prefer to think of myself as more of a ringleader.

Well, someone has to herd the cats. :P

[captain yesterday]

No cats! Allergies.

[Broncaneus the Yarnfoolish]

It is raining now.

Not an ideal development when it's 37 degrees out.

[John Napier 698]

captain yesterday wrote:

No cats! Allergies.

Hairless cats, then.

[Fox Mulder, F.B.I.]

Aliens you mean.

[John Napier 698]

Fox Mulder, F.B.I. wrote:

Aliens you mean.

*points* They went that way, officer.

[John Napier 698]

Lisamarlene, just had a brilliantly wicked idea. A skip code where 'n' is a successive prime number.

Oh, by the way. I've been a Player/GM since 1988. So I've got a lot of experience, no pun intended.

[captain yesterday]

Since 1984 myself. Although there was that 17 year break I took when I discovered girls, and then booze. And then girls and booze at the same time! Wow! Game changer right there!

Anyway, after I had the wife trapped with kids we started up again. :-)

I might have mentioned, I'm a big fan of circuitous planning, almost to a fault.

[John Napier 698]

You could also apply Secret Page to hide the content of your messages. :)

[John Napier 698]

captain yesterday wrote:

Since 1984 myself. Although there was that 17 year break I took when I discovered girls, and then booze. And then girls and booze at the same time! Wow! Game changer right there!

Anyway, after I had the wife trapped with kids we started up again. :-)

I might have mentioned, I'm a big fan of circuitous planning, almost to a fault.

Ten year hiatus after my one brother's suicide, not to be a downer. :)

[baron arem heshvaun]

Yes. You certainly are.

[baron arem heshvaun]

Since 1982. Totally skipped 3.0 and caught the tail end of 3.5.

[baron arem heshvaun]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Since 1982. Totally skipped 3.0 and caught the tail end of 3.5.

My first PC: Baron Arem Heshvaun

[John Napier 698]

baron arem heshvaun wrote:

Yes. You certainly are.

Run away! The theater has gone rampant!

IMAX Theater wrote:

I really think that you should stay for the double feature, Dave.