I thought it was Anti-Wednesday?
Whichever, it's your unbirthday today.
{shoots Pulg with several pugwampi-themed tranquilizer darts} AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Feel the sleepy sting of —
{runs off cackling}
Mmm! Mmhmm! Tingly, yet deeeeeply relaxing, like being horsewhipped while on heavy-business downers. And for free!
Pulg sleep now. Help yourself to wire wool and gravy, and please, in the name of all that's holy, keep GoatToucher the heck away from me
zzzCCHNZZZ
zzzCCHNZZZ
Merblerblerblerbler.
zzzCCHNZZZ
:approaches, accompanied by Jambi, who is pushing a wheelbarrow:
:gestures, prompting Jambi to place Pulg in the wheelbarrow:
:walks off, followed by Jambi and the unconscious Pulg:
:trails after GT, throwing sweet scented flower petals in our wake:
*Wakes up suddenly, strapped to an ironing board and unable to speak due to gumboot stuffed in mouth*
Where am I? Is this Heaven? If so, why is God wearing fishnets and a strap-on? Eh, I'm no theologian. Who knows?
Don't you mean 'pizzas and ass' ?
:does things:
:not enjoyable things, but nor are they entirely unpleasant. The combination of unwholesome debasement and unbridled gratification are unsettling to say the least, and certainly go far to shake up one's worldview. Not altogether for the better, but still.:
Poor Pulg, we will never see his smile again. :(
Ahh Pulg, we knew him well. At least he went out with a smile on his face.
Don't worry Pulg. It's happened to the best of us. *goes off and weeps in the corner*
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Ach, it's no worse than the Army.
Safety Bear eats Pulg! YUMMY!
Safety Bear eats Pulg! YUMMY!
My life, that breaks so many food hygiene rules it's a wonder you haven't had to commit seppuku already.
Still, getting digested by a non-existent bear is preferable to another 15 minute session in GoatToucher's Beige Room of Vague Discomfort, so carry on.
Getting eaten by Safety bear sounds better than it is. It even makes you fill in forms before eating you.
It would have been more unpleasant if there had any flesh to mortify under all that hair! It doesn't grow out of anything! It starts out hair, continues though as hair, and ends up as hair on the other side. I'm pretty sure you have a nervous system, but I'll be damned if I could figure out how it functions.
And people asked me why I outlawed Tuesday... These people, honestly!
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Nerves are just extra special hair. Alternatively, hair is just extra mundane nerves. Either way, I am simultaneously a Psionic TITAN and this year's posterboy for Vidal Sassoon.
TUESDAY WILL RISE AGAIN!
Ha! Ha! Well, the joke's on them, because I'm about as nutritious as a microwaveable cheeseburger.
Indeed.
Well, about time for me to take the win and hit the ol' dusty trail. Thanks and seeya.
I have also outlawed dust and trails. All things are neat and orderly in the Principality of Greater East Ventopia!
I don't think the all-body crew cut was necessary. As the Ambassador for the Pulgite Hordes, I should have had diplomatic immunity!
Or perhaps that's a sort of vaccination you have to protect yourself against dinosaurs. Either way, I just had my fur permed, so boo.
So... pulg doesn't have fleas, he has dinosaurs!!!
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Happy Birthday! Have a not-win!
He's won a birthday?
Not anymore!
I've won tomorrow, and I will win yesterday.
But since today is always today, you shall never win.
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Past, present and future, defeat and victory - all are equally illusory.
Nothing is real except CRUMHORNS.
Nerves are just extra special hair. Alternatively, hair is just extra mundane nerves. Either way, I am simultaneously a Psionic TITAN and this year's posterboy for Vidal Sassoon.
TUESDAY WILL RISE AGAIN!
So, you're the Paizoboards equivalent of the Great Seanachai from Song of the Sea*?
* Great movie, but keep a box of tissues handy for the tears. Oh, there will be tears.
SAFETY BEAR!!!1!1!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a Code 101.426: Shift Key Violation. I'm afraid I'll have to take you in for questioning, George.
RAAAWWWHHRRR!!!*
*"George is my friend."
Of course you are. You're both crumhorns.
See, Pulg knows what's up! That's why he's my Secretary of the Internet.
I found a crumhorn in GT's "workshop". It looks....used. Here Pulg, give it a toot.
All crumhorns are used. Crumhorns can neither be created nor destroyed. Crumhorns have existed eternally and will continue to exist indefinitely. There are no new crumhorns
However, this crumhorn appears to be much larger than normal, is bright pink, vibrates alarmingly and has a... thing... there
And another ...thing... there
And two more ...things... there, which appear to be for ornamentation only.
Lastly, although crumhorns are of great help in most marriages, of course, I have never heard of one described as such before. What a conundrum!
So, it isn't a crumhorn, but a "we don't know what it is but we like it"?
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*Comes in and sticks a poster onto a nearby wall.*
Good news everyone! After a long battle of legality, Disney has allowed the traveling stage production of the Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney version) to go on the road again!
So far half of the cast members are returning:
The Fiend Fantastic as Victor
GoatToucher as Hugo
Sissyl as Laverne
And myself as Clopin
Here's hoping that the others will return:
Molten Dragon as Quasimodo
Schism as Esmeralda
Pulg as Captain Phoebus
And IHIYC as Judge Claude Frollo
I'LL BE THE JERK THAT TALKS ON HIS PHONE DURING THE WHOLE THING!!!!
Ummm... "Those chains are not what's holding you."