Hi Azmahel, thanks for starting this again this year.
Ok, folks, here are those items that made it into my "possible" category, but didn't make it to my "worth submitting" category. These are therefore not my "best" ideas", but I guess you could say they are my "next-to-the-best" ideas. None are completely developed, since I didn't put that much effort into them. Some it is obvious why I rejected them. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them.
Thanks! Ken
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Cauldron of Heroic Brew
Aura: moderate transmutation CL: ?th
Slot: none ; Price: ??,000 gp ; Weight: - ;
DESCRIPTION
This thirteen x nine inch diameter bronze cauldron is emblazoned with the images of heroes feasting on one side and those same heroes towering over fallen foes on the other. It is often found with a matching bronze tripod for hanging it over a fire. If a meaty brew is cooked within it and allowed to simmer for eight hours, it will bestow unique magical properties upon the stew. Any who imbibe the stew will fall under its effects. If a medium size creature consumes a pint of the stew transformation begins and goes into full effect within an hour. The cauldron can hold up to 10 pints, and thus feed up to twenty medium, 5 large, or 40 small individuals. The benefits (or penalties) last for 24 hours. Those of who are of good alignment gain the most benefits. Those who are evil suffer from ill effects. The Cauldron may be used to concoct this magical stew only once per month. There is no saving throw against these effects.
Benefits
If Good:
Heals the most severe wound the imbiber is suffering from (and all hit points of dmg. from it).
Enlarge 20%
+2 morale modifier to attacks
+2 morale modifier to saves
One bonus move action per round
If Neutral:
Heals the most sever wound the imbiber is suffering from (and all hit points of dmg. from it).
+1 morale modifier to attacks
+1 morale modifier to saves
If Evil:
Causes terrible nausea (see stinking cloud effects, no saving throw)
-1 morale modifier to attacks
-1 morale modifier to saves
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, cure serious wounds, courage, protection from evil, enlarge, haste, stinking cloud; Cost ??,?00 gp
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Impenetrable Pack
Aura: powerful transmutation CL:
Slot: - ; Price: ?,000 gp ; Weight: 10 lbs ;
DESCRIPTION
This thick leather backpack is two feet wide, three feet tall, and one foot deep. The sack has only one opening, covered with a leather flap which can be latched with a golden clasp. The clasp is set with arcane runes causing it to be wizard-locked. Only the person who locked it or someone who casts knock can open the pack. The pack itself is nearly indestructible. It has protection 30 from all elements, gains a +5 ??? modifier to all saves, and cannot be affected by disintegration. If struck, it has a damage reduction of 20/magic and has ??? hit points. The interior of the backpack can hold only that which can fit into it (no extra-dimensional space). Anything so stored is completely protected from external effects or damage. What more anything held in the pack for at least one day begins to mend (X hit points per day). This will even reunite broken parts, though it can not fabricate missing parts. In such a way, a torn garment, broken tool, or sundered blade could be repaired over time.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, mending, polymorph any object, protection from elements, wall of force, wizard lock; Cost 8,000 gp
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Iron Bone Bracer
Aura: powerful transmutation CL: ?
Slot : arm ; Price : ?,000 gp ; Weight : ? ;
DESCRIPTION
This dark russet bracer is crafted from the hide of a rust monster, and studded with iron bullets. When worn, the bracer infuses iron into the bones of the wearer, increasing resilience, though decreasing agility. The wearer gains a +2 natural bonus to AC, suffers only half damage from bludgeoning attacks, is more difficult to score a critical hit against (increase DC to confirm crits by 5), and gains a +4 ??? modifier to fortitude staves. Due to the increased mass in the bones, the wearer's speed and dexterity are reduced as if wearing heavy armor (-10 move and max. dex bonus of +2).
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, //?//; Cost ?,000 gp
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Librarian's Satchel
Aura: moderate conjuration CL: 9th
Slot: - ; Price: 7,400 gp ; Weight: 10 lbs ;
DESCRIPTION
This heavy leather book satchel has a long shoulder strap, and a golden lock. It functions much like a Bag of Holding. It can hold a complete library in a nondimensional space that is 150 cubic feet and can hold up to 1,000 lbs. The bag itself seems to be full and constantly weighs only 10 lbs. The owner of the book satchel must learn the command word to unlock it. To add a book to the satchel, the possessor must read aloud the name of the book as he stows it within. He then closes the book and the book is entered into the library. Thereafter the owner may reach in and pull that book out simply by, unlocking the satchel, saying the name aloud. When he opens the satchel, that book will be on top. Adding or removing a book is a move-equivalent action. Up to three hundred full sized, 100 page, books (3 lbs each) can be contained within this space. Each book can be no larger than eighteen inches wide and six inches thick. If the person reaching in doesn't know the exact name of the book he will get a book with a similar name, and have to continue to pull out books and put them back until he found the one desired. If the lock is released and the satchel opened without particular book in mind, the satchel will produce a book randomly. What more, the book satchel keeps the books it possesses in pristine condition, and works to repair damage done to the books between storing. That is, the book satchel knows the condition of the book as it entered, and will repair the book to that condition. It can not replace lost pages, but it will do its best to repair other damage. The Librarian's Satchel functions in all other ways as a Bag of Holding.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, secret chest, mending, ; Cost 14,800 gp
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Orb of Projection
Aura: major divination CL: 13th
Slot: - ; Price: 292,000 gp ; Weight : 80 lbs ;
DESCRIPTION
This large crystal orb is 12 inches in diameter and crafted from rutilated quartz crystal. Gold and titanium threads run in circular patterns within the crystal and serve as a conduit for magical energies to pass through the crystal. A character can use the orb to see over virtually any distance or into other planes of existence, as with the spell greater scrying (Will DC 19 negates). An Orb of Projection can be used multiple times per day, but the DC to resist its power decreases by 1 for each additional use. Additional powers can be used through the Orb of Projection on the target viewed. As stated in Greater Scrying the following spells can be cast through the Orb at the target without any chance of failure: detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, detect law, detect magic, message, read magic, and tongues. What more, the user of an Orb of Projection is able to project their image through the orb to any point they can scry, as per the project image spell three times per day (casting level 16th). In this way, the caster is able to act as if present, using the senses of this shadowy image, and casting spells (even by touch) from this location. The limiting factor is that the image can't move beyond the 10 foot area around the target chosen by the user of the crystal ball. If the target of the scrying moves, the projected image can move with it, but cannot go anywhere else.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, greater scrying, project image ; Cost 146,000 gp
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Orb of Mental Repose
Aura: minor/moderate/major CL: ?
Slot: - ; Price: ?,000 gp/ ?,000 gp/ ?,000 gp ; Weight: - ;
DESCRIPTION
This dark blue crystal sphere is about eight inches in diameter and seems to be lit with its own inner light. When held and full concentration is given to the orb, the bearer begins to recover lost spell energy. One spell level is recovered for every ten minutes the Orb is held. Time must still be taken to prepare spells, but in this way the bearer of this orb may recover spells without the usual need for sleep. While recovering spell energy the bearer finds it difficult to focus on external events. Concentration on the orb can only be broken at will every ten minutes. Breaking concentration between these periods requires a concentration check as if casting a 5th level spell in combat, with all applicable benefits and penalties as detailed in the Pathfinder Handbook. Failure means the bearer cannot break his concentration on the orb, even if he is aware of what is going on around him.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, ; Cost ?,000 gp/ ?,000 gp / ?,000 gp
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Seeds of Demon Kind
Aura: powerful conjuration CL: ?
Slot: - ; Price: ?,000 gp ; Weight: - ;
DESCRIPTION
Grown in the blood soaked fields of the abyss, the Sin Tree produces a deadly fruit called a Sin Apple. The seeds of this fruit are able to be enchanted with powerful summoning abilities. Once enchanted these seeds cannot be held near a living thing for more than 1 minute or they will begin to burrow into the flesh, trying to plant themselves (1 pt dmg), at which point they will sprout as detailed below (causing 5d6 dmg). Thus, they are best stowed in a satchel made of ???? hide. When such a sack is found it usually condtain 2d12 such seeds. These enchanted seeds may be buried in the soil on the Prime Material Plane and given a single drop of blood to activate them. In 1d4 rounds the seed will sprout into a tall black tree that will suddenly split open and issue forth a host of demons. These demons answer to no one, and can remain on the Prime Material Plane until slain. They cannot, though, summon any allies. Roll randomly on the following chart to determine what sorts of demons appear:
1d8_____Demon Type_______Number
1_______Lemure___________2d6
2_______?________________1d6
3_______?________________1d4
4_______?________________1d3
5_______?________________1d3
6_______?________________1d2
7_______?________________1d2
8_______Balor_____________1
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Gate; Cost ?,000 gp
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Thread of Mending
Aura: ? CL: ?
Slot: - ; Price: gp ; Weight: 1.5 lbs ;
DESCRIPTION
This spool of fine white thread is drawn from the silk of an ethereal-spider and is used to mend magical robes, cloaks and other garments. Damage to such magical clothing is common and reparing them can be difficult. When this thread is used to stitch a rend in magical cloth, the material mends together perfectly and the thread vanishes, being consumed in the repair. What more, the thread also repairs damage from fire, acid and other devestating elements. Arcane patterns must be sewn into the material at three points around the damage. Upon cutting the last thread, the material mends instantly. The thread can't repair damage if less than half the material remains. The spool is 6 inches tall and made of rare woods. A new spool can have up to 1200 yards of thread. That is enough to mend up to 2000 ten inch tears, or to form the seams in up to 10 new garments.
New garments fashioned with this magical thread have unique characteristics. The garment will mend its own repairs, at a rate of six inches per round. It is much more resistant to damage, gaining a +5 for item saving throws. Finally, it also grants the wearer the ability to go ethereal three times per day as a swift action. The person may stay ethereal as long as they wish, and returning is also a swift action.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, ; Cost gp
Notes:
The spool is 6 3/4 inches tall and made of rare woods; the base of the spool is about 4 inches in diameter and the top of the spool measures 3 inches in diameter. A new spool can have up to 1200 yards of thread, or about 200,000 stitches. A repair takes about 10 stitches per inch. A ten inch tear thus requires abot 100 stitches. Thus a full spool can mend up to 2000 ten inch tears. The thread can also be made to fashion new garments. The the seams on new garments must be much sturdier, and thus require 20 stitches per inch. Assuming a pattern requires 20,000 stitches (most require fewer), you could make up to 10 new garments with a full spool of this thread.
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Traveler's Carriage
Aura: powerful transmutation CL: ?
Slot: - ; Price: ?,000 gp ; Weight: ? ;
DESCRIPTION
This large ornate carriage is pulled by four magical horses summoned upon command (as per the mount spell). These horses move at the same rate as normal horses, but are tireless, and thus can ride into all hours of the night. The carriage is driven by an automaton. The coach has black curtains over the windows and a gilded door. The interior of the carriage is richly adorned, with velvet seats, carpeted floor, and brass handles. Set in the middle of the back seat, though, is a gilded door. A command word must be spoken to open the door, and upon entering, the passengers find themselves in a large beautifully decorated chamber with magically lit lamps, a full library, and a number of chests for storage. This in in-fact a pocket-dimension held within the ethereal plane, with the only entrance traveling with the carriage. There are four windows that display beautiful nature scenes, but in no way reflect where the carriage actually is. By day, the room has elegant couches and tables, by night there are comfortable beds and nightstands. The carriage can hold up to twelve people comfortably. The driver will take the best road to any location it knows. This usually is the most common cities and easiest routes. However, it can always return to any location it has been before. The automaton will drive until it arrives unless otherwise commanded by the owner of the carriage. A bell chimes within the ethereal chamber to notify passengers of arrival. If encountering any impediment the driver will stop the carriage and a warning bell will chime in the chamber notifying passengers that something is wrong. If the carriage is destroyed, the pocket-dimension is also destroyed, and its denizens and contents are all dumped into the ethereal plane.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, alarm, mount, unseen servant, find the path, rope trick, secret chest ; Cost ?,000 gp
The Perfect Hunter's Knife has some good ideas and some real imagination behind it, and I think it has a lot of potential, but one of its abilities strikes me as seriously overpowered:
...Unavoidable hunt: The user spills his blood from the knife to another weapon. This weapon gains the Bane property (if it doesn't already have it), exclusively against the subject to which the knife points;
For how long? Does the other weapon now permanently have the bane ability, or is this a temporary thing? Can you do this every day? (And does the other weapon have to be masterwork, as is usual for magic weapons?) If there are no further restrictions on this ability, this is waaay underpriced. You've got something that can create an indefinite number of bane weapons? Yowza. Actually, even if there are further restrictions, this is probably way underpriced. Keep in mind, enchanting a weapon with the bane ability normally costs 2000 gp, and at least two days' work (well, okay, one full 8-hour day of work if you're willing to take the +5 hit to the DC). And now you've got an item that can give the bane ability for free (well, okay, at a cost of one hit point), almost instantly, to a weapon a day? And it costs only 500 gp? That's... yeah, I think you may want to rethink that.
Now, I realize that there are some restrictions on this ability. I gather the weapon is only bane against the particular individual creature the knife is pointing at, not against all creatures of its type (though it may be worthwhile to be a little more explicit about this; I think this is what you mean by "exclusively against the subject to which the knife points", but I'm not completely sure). And I know the fact that you have to have line of sight to the desired subject to activate the bane power (so that you can point the knife at it) is a significant limitation. So, yeah, I get that the bane weapon created by the knife is significantly less versatile in some ways than an actual bane weapon. I just don't think that's nearly enough to justify the ability to repeatedly produce such bane weapons with an item that costs only 500 gp (especially since that's only one of its powers!)
Incidentally, the bit about "the subject to which the knife points" could do with a bit more solid crunch behind it, too. If the subject is aware of the knife's nature, can he try to keep away from where it's pointing? Would pointing at an unwilling subject require a ranged attack roll, or would it be resolved some other way? That might sound silly, but it's the sort of question I can definitely see coming up in play...
Anyway, hope I'm not coming across as too nitpicky here; like I said, it's a very interesting and imaginative item, but that one power immediately struck me as problematic, especially with the item's low price...
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
,
Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
aka Draconas
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Here is one of my final few that I decided not to submit.
Aura strong enchantment; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 145,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This fist-sized adamantine orb bears intricately carved symbols upon its reflective surface and is warm to the touch. While appearing solid, the orb is not a singular piece of metal but a complex series of components that interact with one another similar to a puzzle box. The first orb was crafted by members of the Technic League after years of extensive study of a non-functioning gearsman of Silver Mount.
The powers hidden within the orb can only be unlocked if its bearer is successful on a Knowledge(engineering) or Use Magic Device check (DC 15) as they slide the pieces of the orb into the correct alignment. Twice a day, with a successful check for each use, the orb bearer can hijack the mystical energies that power a single creature with the construct type within 60 feet, essentially placing the construct in the bearer’s control as if it were under the effects of dominate monster. The bearer can command the construct as if they shared a common language for up to one hour before the orb loses its control over the creature.
Once per day, with a successful check to use, the bearer can cause the orb to send out a wave of energy that can incapacitate all creatures with the construct type within 100 feet. Each creature is allowed a Will save (DC 20) to shrug off the effects of the energy wave. If the construct fails the saving throw, they are immediately stunned for 10 rounds. A successful save causes the construct to only be staggered for 1 round.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dominate monster, power word stun; Cost 72,800 gp
I'm avoiding reading other people's reviews before posting, so I might wind up being redundant; sorry if so.
Drum of the Northern Gale
I'm a bit of a sucker for music instrument/bard oriented items, so I'm liking it from the getgo. That said, it feels like it's trying to bite off a little too much at once, with the three layers of increasing abilities. Still, the fact that you got those three layers in under word count is a praiseworthy task in itself. I especially like the bard ability and that it can be used at the same time as a regular bard performance.
Pendant of the Divine Savior/Pendant of the Divine Wrath
Simple, but don't really love them. Just doesn't excite much. Out of the two, I prefer the function of the divine wrath, just because having a villain get one last lick in is always fun. My question is, how does the storing of the negative channel work? Is it like filling up a ring of spell storing, where it just takes up a daily use and the next day you're back to normal, or does the cleric permanently have one less channel at hand as long as it's stuffed in the pendant?
Soulswitch gems, et al.
Freaky Friday! It's funny; it feels like something we've seen a lot of (and we have, in films, tv shows, books, etc) but I don't know that it's been done much at all in D&D. This almost feels like magic jar in a can, but it's got that little bit extra. The artifact version, oddly, feels like the least original of these, probably because it discards the body swapping for a straight out magic jar. Aside from that, though, this could have been an idea worth developing.
Focusing(Weapon Special ability)
Hard to say on this one; I'm never a huge fan of weapon special abilities that are purely situational. (Never much cared for bane items, for instance) The force-zappy-discharge part kind of detracts from the ability itself, too; it might have been better to just leave it with the situational +2 enhancement effect (which would still be worth the +1 pricing, I think.)
Arsenal Scabbard
This feels like one of those items the judges always say seems useful but not superstar. Still, one of my own rejects that never really got written up was a bandolier that worked in a similar fashion, so not criticizing that.
Bracelet of the Five-legged Spider
...well, that's a weird one. It seems to have a lot of SAK elements to it; levitating, glowing, spy stuff, carrying stuff. And it has the always present problem for spells/items/other effects that involve removing a limb: the fact that there really aren't a lot of rules for someone being one-handed, either short term during the operation of the item or long term if a bad guy smashes the hand-spider while it's scurrying around.
Swarmseed Arrow (magic weapon)
Now that's kinda neat. For all that it's an instant (well, three round delayed...) death effect, it's pretty well on par cost wise with an arrow of slaying, (more expensive, but also much more versatile) so I think that's okay. Too bad it's not a wondrous item; this is another one that would have been a decent superstar entry with a little spit and polish.
Straps of Adaptive Protection
I like this one a lot too. I like that it's not useful until after you've been damaged; that it's a short term effect; and that a magic item savvy guy can get around the DR by just constantly switching up the kind of attack he's using. If someone is hit by one of those multiple sourced attacks repeatedly (the flaming morningstar, for instance) does the type of DR randomly change each time he's hit, or is it set in stone for the encounter with that first wallop? I also don't think it's necessary to have the 'five types of damage and it goes smashy' caveat at the end there; you're already going to be resisting minimal damage against someone doing 5 types at once, that's just adding insult to injury and cheesing off a player who probably didn't have a choice on whether his favorite bit of magical protection was going to get blown away before combat started.
Mask of reflected imagery
This is another weird one that I'm afraid I don't quite get; does the wearer get any kind of warning when he's not interacting with someone of his own race, or is he just going to continuously have to disbelieve everytime he meets a new person? I'm not sure that being able to guess the age and sex of someone else, or being able to apply racial social modifiers, is worth the drawback. The disguise self function is nice, but nothing you couldn't get cheaper and more frequently with a hat of disguise.
Sign of Battles Tide
It's very interesting, though something that's pretty much solely useful for mass combat is already facing an uphill battle for my interest. Still, it's a great visual. Creating a magic firework item does have a few issues that aren't addressed here, though: what's the range on this? It zaps all targets within 600 feet, but is that within 600 feet of where it's launched? Or do you launch it, it shoots off x feet (or yards. Or miles...), and then goes boom and does the 600' zap?
Sanguine Guardian
My favorite of all these. It's still rough, obviously, but it's definitely a great core of an idea. I think you might be getting a bit much for the 2 points self-bleed damage per round; at 6 touch attacks per round, the guardian sword is gonna be making a LOT of hits. Still, if I'm not mistaken, bleed damage doesn't stack, so the sword isn't going to be causing a single opponent to exsanguinate in a single round. I pity the wall of minions the owner of this item will be undoubtedly be wading through, though. Seriously, I love this and wish I was in a game right now so I could steal it. :-) And whatever you submitted in lieu of this better be LEGENDARY, sir.
Angel Eyes
Giving PCs gaze attacks is fun; I want to like these a bit more than I do. But... eh. They kind of just feel like a variant medallion of thoughts.
Fickle Dagger
It's cute... but potentially annoying at the table. So when the enhancement bonus changes based on the last damage roll, that means you're going to have to be constantly recalculating your modifier and remebering the new one from round to round. Or, worse, keep changing it it in the middle of an iterative attack. "I hit... okay, 3 damage, so my next attack would normally be +7 but now it's +10... hit again, oh, only 1 damage, so my next attack will be +5..." Just seems more trouble/bookkeeping than it's worth.
(Aargh, first of all, I just realized I made a stupid mistake in my previous post... I kept referring to the item's price being 500 gp... that, of course, was its creation cost. The price was 1000 gp. Granted, I still would have thought that was too low, but it's not as low as I thought... can't believe I made that mistake.)
Anyway...
My intent was for the weapon to turn into a Bane weapon specifically against a single enemy (the one against which the knife points at the moment, not his type, species, or anything of the kind), and only during the knife's effect's duration (i.e. only until that specific creature is dead, captured, or the day is over).
Ah, that helps a lot... if the bane effect only functions for a single day, that's much different from a permanent effect. (I wondered if maybe you meant the effect to be temporary, but the description didn't say.)
Please note it is very limited in combat usefulness, effectively granting +2 to hit and damage against a single enemy 1/day *if* you prepare for 10 minutes beforehand
Bane isn't just +2 to hit and damage... it's +2 to hit and +2d6 to damage. That's a significant amount of added damage, particularly at low levels (and for 1000 gp, characters can have this item at low levels).
As for the preparing for 10 minutes beforehand... that's another thing the description didn't say. It said that carving a wooden figure -- which is tied into different abilities -- took 10 minutes. There's no time specified for depositing the blood onto the knife (and nothing about the wooden figure being required for the unavoidable hunt ability), so I assumed that was, at worst, a standard action.
About "pointing" the knife - I thought of it as simply opening your hand and letting it spin towards the right direction.
Ah... okay, that's very different from what I had inferred. But then, that raises more questions. Do you have to have line of sight to the subject? Is there a maximum range? And I don't get why "applying this effect against a specific enemy would be quite difficult". I'd assumed that the effect was meant to be applied against a specific enemy. Can you not just designate any subject within range? Does the knife choose the subject randomly? The description just says the bane effect works "against the subject to which the knife points"; I'd assumed the user could just point the knife at whoever or whatever he wanted. If that isn't the case, how is it decided what subject the knife is pointing at?
So, overall, yeah, it seems this was mainly wording issues... you knew how you wanted the knife to work, but it didn't all come out in the description (at least, not to me). That's a hard problem to avoid; it's not always easy to try to think of every possible interpretation and to put yourself in the mental shoes of a reader who's coming at the description with no prior information. (I tried to account for every question and possible discrepancy in my own submission this year, and after I submitted still occurred to me that there were a few possible mechanics issues I hadn't addressed, or that I had addressed in ways that seemed contradictory... dang.)
Realistically, I don't know that this particular item would have been a good contest entry, simply because it has enough unique powers that it might not be possible to fit all the necessary details as to how the powers work in 300 words. But since you didn't intend it as a contest entry anyway, I guess that may not be a big deal. Again, I hope I'm not being too nitpicky here... these item has some great ideas behind it; it just seems that some of the mechanics could be made a little clearer.
This is a pretty lame SiaC, but it got the creative juices flowing. I didn't really finish it (I don't think I went through costing it at all. I think those numbers are just pulled out of thin air to fill in the fields.)
Aura faint enchantment and divination; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 4,500 gp; Weight --
Young lovers generally petition a local witch to create this token of their bond, often a locket or charm worn on a chain around the neck. The bearer of this favor gains the insight of a continual status upon their partner.
As long as the status of the partner is unharmed, the bearer gains a +1 morale bonus on saving throws against fear and enchantment (charm) effects.
If the status of the partner changes to any condition other than unharmed, the bearer may choose as a standard action to launch into a fit of rage as the spell and may also utilize the No Escape rage power during the effect. Using the rage effect consumes the favor
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, rage, status; Cost 2,250 gp
It is not the sexiest of items (ironically, considering the intent... ;-))but it's solid. Could definitely use some more clarification as to what makes one a romantic partner, as has been said. I like the variation of the effects, though. A little SIAC, but not overly so. Just a little dry, is all. I trust you got your juices flowing soon therafter.
One Idea I rejected without a full writeup was a "Tome of Horrifying Tales". The idea was that the books contains several stories, each of which can be read one time. Each story features some kind of classic monster with a template (werewolf, vampire, ghost, Zombie, etc). Reading a story after dark granted the user the associated template until sunrise. The stories could only be read in a specific order, and once read could not be re-read.
I think it would have made a cool item, but would have been a bit too complicated to cram into the space limit.
I actually had a similar self-reject last year; likewise a book of stories, but useable by someone casting a summoning spell that would have allowed them to add templates on the fly by making at a Perform: oratory check. Ultimately not developed beyond the minimum for similar reasons to your own.
Ooh! Ooh! Sean, do me next! ^_^
I loved the idea behind this item, but the language felt clumsy and I, obviously, couldn't think of a good name.
Aura moderate universal; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 11,200 gp; Weight –Description
This mithral bookmark is roughly the size and shape of a ruler, though its top end curls like a shepherd’s crook and is pierced by a ring that bears a tiny glass lantern. When the bookmark is placed on the first page of a spell in a wizard’s spellbook, a tiny wisp of light within the lantern appears and instructions to cast the corresponding spell more easily slowly emerge on the surface of the strip over the course of 8 hours (at which time the magic of the bookmark can be used). When a wizard next prepares his spells, he may reduce the increase in spell level by one (minimum +1) for up to three metamagic feats applied to the spell which had been marked (though he may prepare as many copies of that spell as he wishes, with any combination of feats). When a wizard finishes preparing his spells and closes the book, the light disappears and the wizard must start the process over again by marking a page to gain the benefits of the bookmark once more.Removing the bookmark prematurely automatically ends the effect as does moving the bookmark to another page (in which case the process begins anew and will finish 8 hours later if uninterrupted).
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, any metamagic feat, mnemonic enhancer; Cost 5,600 gpSome feedback would be AWESOME! (Though, I should say, I'm already keenly aware that this is Arcane-Thesis-in-a-Can-only-better)
Honestly, that arcane thesis in a can bit is what kills it for me. I think there was a good nugget of an idea, but then taking a frequently abused 3.5 feat and beefing it up... ow. Ow, ow, ow. Keep the Complete series outa my pathfinder! I do like the idea of a bookmark for a spellbook makign a wizards life a little easier; I just don't like this specific use of one.
Party Mask (Mask of Mystery)
This feels kinda like one of what Clark Peterson described as 'home campaign items'. It's got a neat visual, but it's very situational; I could picture building an adventure around a masquerade ball with an antagonist that had one of these, but it doesn't really strike me as a good universal item that would fit in to a standard game.
Lead Ball
Name needs work. :-) Otherwise... well, it's a cursed item, not a wondrous one, so that would wigh it down it right off the bat. The idea of it being a 'hot potato' cursed item is a little interesting, though, so it's not EXACTLY a standard curse. It might actually work better if you could transfer the slow effect during combat along with ownership; as it reads now, it looks like the owner saves to avoid being slowed, and then even if he transfers the ball midcombat, the new owner doesn't have to deal with the drawbacks until the next time he gets in a fight. Basically, for this to work as a wondrous item, I'd need a reason for my character to actualyl want to carry it around and risk the slow effect; being able to pass it along and screw over an opponent would help me with that.
My item is not really a "reject". Actually, as I don't intend to work for Paizo, I didn't enter the contest (even though the chance is minimal, getting in a top-something and then saying "no thanks guys, I'm outta here" doesn't look morally appropriate to me...).
However, as the contest itself is highly stimulating creatively, I make a "fake entry" every round. Minus proofreading, this is what I would send in:
Perfect Hunter's Knife
I feel like the effects here might be better if they weren't attached to a dagger; as it is, it feels like it blurs the wondrous item boundaries. (Not that a masterwork dagger with no real properties is even vaguely a replacement for a magic weapon; but it did give me a few seconds of cognitive dissonance when I started reading the entry and realized it was a weapon, albeit not a Weapon.)
The effects are okay; a little scattershot feeling to me. To maximize appeal to an adventurer, it might be better not to have manhunt be a separate effect (also, it's unclear; do you still need to shed blood to activate the manhunt power?) but rather have the ability to carve things besides animals as part of the standard power of the item. Also, does the unavoidable hunt power only ever work on animals, or can you use the bane effect on specific non-animal individuals in conjunction with the manhunt effect. I think the problem with this item for me is that it's simultaneously trying to be focused and thematic (with the whole hunter/animal dynamic) while still giving options beyond that; either have it stick to that narrow focus and damn the torpedoes, or widen the focus from the outset and make the mechanics of it a little easier.
See SKR's #20
I agree this suggests the book has to be open. I like the idea of a helping preparing spells out, but think the any metmagic feat makes it difficult to price at best, greedy (metagaming) at worst. I am not sure how much spell-prep affects most games, for my group the adventuring does nto begin until everyone is ready making this a metagaming item. Do not "bigger" the word (seems to irk Vic as cheesy :), stick to the given format. I might limit it to a single metamagic feat, though multiple marks for multiple feats would be OK. Much of the wording is confusing and if my Cussler did not have one in it right now, the metal bookmark with beads might have left me with no picture. I love the image of the little lantern that glows. I almost immediately thought "can this help me prepare spells in complete darkness?" that inspiring image is what you want your whole item to do :) Nice job.
Perfect Hunter's Knife
See SKR's: #2, #4/28, #13, #15, #18, and possibly #22.
Feat should be capitolized. A whittling knife or carving tool could not be used as a dagger. Sure they could be used to cut someone, but not as a dagger. It was unclear to me if you could carve multiple animals. If you stuck (no pun intended :) with the first two abilities I think this would be a stronger item. Adding the third ability is SAK, and also breaks from the original intent (first line) with an "animal" carving (did you mean creature?). Remember animal is an actual game term. Limiting it to only animals is great though (a hint about others for dragons, outsiders, etc... goes along way to making the item seem a part of something larger. :) A loss of 1 hp is insignificant (not a restriction) with racial dice or anything over second level IMHO. Finally as it would make hunting and getting lost harder the knife loses points. (carve the innkeepers likeness/name on a stick to find your way back to town... :) Again I like the animal finder and the fact that a decent amount of carving skill can give you multiple (fungible) useful item. Nice job.
I loved the idea behind this item, but the language felt clumsy and I, obviously, couldn't think of a good name.
Aura moderate universal; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 11,200 gp; Weight –Description
This mithral bookmark is roughly the size and shape of a ruler, though its top end curls like a shepherd’s crook and is pierced by a ring that bears a tiny glass lantern. When the bookmark is placed on the first page of a spell in a wizard’s spellbook, a tiny wisp of light within the lantern appears and instructions to cast the corresponding spell more easily slowly emerge on the surface of the strip over the course of 8 hours (at which time the magic of the bookmark can be used). When a wizard next prepares his spells, he may reduce the increase in spell level by one (minimum +1) for up to three metamagic feats applied to the spell which had been marked (though he may prepare as many copies of that spell as he wishes, with any combination of feats). When a wizard finishes preparing his spells and closes the book, the light disappears and the wizard must start the process over again by marking a page to gain the benefits of the bookmark once more.Removing the bookmark prematurely automatically ends the effect as does moving the bookmark to another page (in which case the process begins anew and will finish 8 hours later if uninterrupted).
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, any metamagic feat, mnemonic enhancer; Cost 5,600 gpSome feedback would be AWESOME! (Though, I should say, I'm already keenly aware that this is Arcane-Thesis-in-a-Can-only-better)
Well, most I can say about this has already been said. May be overpowered/munchkiny, may be metagamy, isn't clear in it's language in some places, isn't too creative. Also I see "help wizards preparing spells" type of items as an kind of overused archetype, but this item is a pretty good one for the cliché.
This is not a complete write up, but you get the gist of it:
Party Mask (Mask of Mystery)
reminds me of the helms of for the Waterdeep lords, but after all it's just a pimped out hat of disguise, with an added nondetection effect. I'd give it a pass. Some language issues too, I'm not quite sure, if the mask creates a costume and changes to fit it, or simply changes to fit a costume you are wearing.
Lead ball
After all it's just a stone of weight that can be passed on. First and foremost a cursed item, and with that not usable for this contest.
The transferring of ownership is a neat idea, but you keep digging your own grave lamenting about ownership and trying to define what ownership means and how it can be passed on. Even to the extend that the actual mechanics of passing on are nearly lost in between the lines.And your names really need work ;)
Perfect Hunter's Knife
Step by step:
Name: not too imanginatve. needs work.weight: 5lbs? a hunting knife as heavy as a warhammer? this is odd.
you are pretty much stating that this is a magical weapon, not a wondrous item.
Standard effect:
Nice for hunters, next to useless for everyone else. Also a simple compas type item, I've seen many of those.
Extra effects:
The 1Hp damage is not a real drawback, but i don't know if you priced it as a drawback (likely given the low price of the item)
1. Effect: natural extension, but do most hunters really have to hunt one animal longer than one day, or do they need to hunt multiple creatures of the same type without having the time to carve a new image?
2. Effect: a one person bane. only it's not a person, but an animal. a non-specific animal. Meh.
3. Effect: this breaks the flair of your item, and the previously given rule that only animals can be carved. I see this as simply an attempt to make the item useful for PCs, and not just for NPC hunters, who happen to have enough money for this thing.
I thinnk it would have made a better item, if it thematically fitted normal hunters as it does, but hunter- (bounty or not) typed PCs benefited from it's mechanics to it's full extend.
Third eye
Yeah, blind, but not blind is pretty much everything this item does. But I have one caveat. Most items that fall into this category give the user a supernatural , powerful sense and have the "drawback" of making the user blind.
Your item doesn't try this. All your item does is make you immune to gaze attacks. It could have been a set of two-way mirror eyelenses, that magically reflect gaze attacks, but do nothing about blocking sight or magically granting sight.But aside from that an item that only grand immunity to one specific kind of attack isn't all that creative or imaginative. in my eyes it simply lacks the mojo needed for Rpgss
some quick Re:s
Azmahel:
Some quick feedback on some of your more recent items...
not only that but many other things too ;)
...
Mask of Reflected ImageryYou are only better, if you get a bonus against elves. It should riff on the fact that it is easier to read familiar faces. Seeing if a dragon is disgusted or bored is more hard than seeing the same emotions on a humans face. But yeah, its not as clear as it could/should be...
There isn't any divination element to the item, so I'm not clear how it could let you see if the dragon is disgusted or bored?
Going over the item again, I see the spells used are from the [glamer] and [figment] subschools of Illusion, neither or which (by the rulebook) would create an effect in the mind of the viewer. Creating an effect in the mind of the viewer would need [phantasm] magic.
I could see the item maybe working the way you indicate if it teamed [phantasm] with either a Divination requirement of some kind, ranks in Sense Motive, or knowledge/specifics regarding a specific race.
(I mean, with regard to the latter, you could perhaps have a goblin specific mask with a construction requirement of favored enemy [humanoid (goblinoid)] for example...)As a final note for now, I'm a bit iffy on the gaze attack rules and how they interact with illusions, but it occurs to me that in the case of some things such as basilisks and medusae you might not want to see them as they really are if that would help reduce or negate their chances of turning you to stone...
I concur, this item definitely would need some cleaning up. I knew pretty well what it should do, but my writing on this didn't really transfer the idea. some "got" it, others not. But that's also one of the reason I didn't develop this any further and it didn't get those desperately needed clarifications. It is in its very core an idea that some would "get and other would simply not. And with a Superstar entry you will want to be as broadly appealing as possible.
Third eye
Yeah, blind, but not blind is pretty much everything this item does. But I have one caveat. Most items that fall into this category give the user a supernatural , powerful sense and have the "drawback" of making the user blind.
Your item doesn't try this. All your item does is make you immune to gaze attacks. It could have been a set of two-way mirror eyelenses, that magically reflect gaze attacks, but do nothing about blocking sight or magically granting sight.But aside from that an item that only grand immunity to one specific kind of attack isn't all that creative or imaginative. in my eyes it simply lacks the mojo needed for Rpgss
Agreed, Thats the reason I didnt bother with it other than the quick ruff that I presented. I had the Idea, quickly wrote it, then read it and said, "Nope, its way to weak for SS".....lol
I was originally going to post a re-working of my original RPG superstar entry, but then realised that it would not qualify thanks to having been mentioned previously. So here is the Amphora of Humble offering, as it was when I stopped reworking it and before it got to go over it for spelling and grammar.
Amphora of Humble Offering
Aura faint Necromantic; CL 3rd
Slot - ; Price 1600 gp gp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
A common tool amongst the followers of Pharasma, this simple earthenware Amphora is glazed with scenes from the pages of the bones land in a spiral, and are used to make libations of wine to the goddess.
Once per day as a standard action, you can pour out wine stored within onto a non-pours surface, where it pools. The wine from the amphora is irresistible to the undead and any that are able to see, smell(within 5’ unless they have Scent) or taste the pool, cease other activities(including combat) and move to the pool by the fastest available method, to lap up the wine, even laying prone if the wine is at ground level. Undead supping at the wine can take no other action. The effect lasts for 1 minute, if pool is depleted, the targets continue to lap the ground for the last traces, while wine left over at the end of the minute sours.
Unintelligent undead cannot resist the urge to sup form the liquid, but intelligent undead may make a will check (DC 13) to avoid the urge. Incorporeal undead are especially vulnerable to the lure of the libation, suffering a -2 to their will save.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Control Undead, Skill craft (ceramics); Cost 800 gp
Ken, I'm not forgetting you, but something glitched on me about halfway through youur items and ate my already quite long post, and I can't get myself to redo it all right away.
Here is one of my final few that I decided not to submit.
Clockwork Heart of the Gearsmen
I really like this one. Flavorful and really powerful, a combinaation i see all to rarely. Yet it is limited enough not to become overpowered. Even if I think that the domination without a save might be a tad much (heck, most constructs have really crappy Will saves, and a dominate monster effect would have a DC of 23 or so, so it wouldn't loose too much power if you added a save.)
10 rounds of stunning is really long to, and since most combas wont really last that long and disabling a Construct in that time if you want to disable it should be no problem, so it's pretty much an "If you wnat to kill it it's dead" effect. If you added the possibility of retrying saving throws each round ( rebooting) it might have offered a new interesting element.
But aside from that I really have nothing to nag about. Good Job. Like it.
I'm avoiding reading other people's reviews before posting, so I might wind up being redundant; sorry if so.
Hi Sean, you pretty much nailed why i didn't submit them on most of my items, and I'm really glad you liked most of them :).
So I don#t have much to add to what you said, save for a few short comments.
Azmahel wrote:Bracelet of the Five-legged Spider
...well, that's a weird one. It seems to have a lot of SAK elements to it; levitating, glowing, spy stuff, carrying stuff. And it has the always present problem for spells/items/other effects that involve removing a limb: the fact that there really aren't a lot of rules for someone being one-handed, either short term during the operation of the item or long term if a bad guy smashes the hand-spider while it's scurrying around.
Ah, yeah. this one might need some explanation. this never was a serious writeup. In fact it was an experiment along the lines of "How many bad stereotypes and common mistakes/pitfalls can I combine in a single item and still come up with something "good" and "cool". I can't really say if I succeeded, but it was definitely fun.
Azmahel wrote:Swarmseed Arrow (magic weapon)
Now that's kinda neat. For all that it's an instant (well, three round delayed...) death effect, it's pretty well on par cost wise with an arrow of slaying, (more expensive, but also much more versatile) so I think that's okay. Too bad it's not a wondrous item; this is another one that would have been a decent superstar entry with a little spit and polish.
This still might be my favorite. But it's a weapon, and trying to make it anything but a weapon wouldn't be true to the item. Also I posted it in the blazing month thread before i completely grew bolt of it. But, hey, at least it is being used (and feared by the PCs) in my home campaign, and I also like my real entry, so whatever.
Azmahel wrote:Mask of reflected imagery
This is another weird one that I'm afraid I don't quite get ...
Yeah, I knew many people wouldn't quite "get" the idea behind it, so I didn't fully develop it ( most are just ideas, written down once and left at that), and it would have needed quite a lot of rewriting to make it easier to "get".
Azmahel wrote:Sanguine Guardian
My favorite of all these. ...
Yeah, i like it more than most of the other too. What obviously isn't as clear as it should be is that the Aoo's only occur in response to melee attacks hitting you, so it's kind of a low power fire shield
Bleed doesn't stack, so no exsanguinating enemies easily.Hey, If you like it feel free to use it in your game. You stealing it certainly won't stop me from using it too :).
For everything else, yeah you pretty much nailed it in my eyes.
edit: forgot this one:
Azmahel wrote:
Sign of Battles TideIt's very interesting, though something that's pretty much solely useful for mass combat is already facing an uphill battle for my interest. Still, it's a great visual. Creating a magic firework item does have a few issues that aren't addressed here, though: what's the range on this? It zaps all targets within 600 feet, but is that within 600 feet of where it's launched? Or do you launch it, it shoots off x feet (or yards. Or miles...), and then goes boom and does the 600' zap?
Yeah, this one got a bit more than the 15-20 minutes most of the other items got from idea to paper for exactly these issues (but it was not more than 45 minutes) . I'm still not happy with it and don't exactly know how to rule this in the most efficient way, so yeah. mayor issue about the idea. would probably go with 600ft from launchpoint. ;)
Ok, I'll go first, it's actually a bit embarrassing (and half finished) since it happens to *already* exist.
Pogo stick of infinite jumps
Aura faint transmutation; CL ZZth
Slot none; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This is simple wooden stick is shaped like an inverted cross. When placing your feet upon the cross bar the item is held in place as an immovable rod. When you jump and then 'step' on the cross bar you stay aloft and may jump from that point.
Construction
Requirements craft wonderous item, levitate; Cost 2,500 gp
I think modeling it after a pogo stick would have been a serious error. It comes across as a joke. The power seems feasible, though not particularly "sexy". Shouldn't the price be 8,000gp (4,000 to create)?
Ken
Very well. I rejected this one because a) the Golarion tie-in isn't strong enough (the sea monsters and trickery are there, but...), b) it's a bit too much a SIAC and c) there was a squid item last year. (And d) my other item is A LOT better than this one.)
Besmara's Inkwell
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot —; Price 1,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This frosted glass inkwell, usually crafted in the shape of a squid or octopus, magically refills itself each day. The ink never spills, even if the inkwell is toppled over or exposed to water.If you hold the inkwell in hand and say aloud the name of a color, the ink immediately changes to match that color.
Once per day as a standard action, you can command the inkwell to spew forth its contents, forming a cubical 20-feet cloud of fine mist. The cloud is centered around the inkwell but remains stationary even if you move the inkwell. The cloud obscures vision just as the obscuring mist spell. Additionally, everything within the mist (except you and your belongings) is coated in a thin layer of ink, negating all benefits of invisibility. The ink cloud dissolves after three rounds, but the ink layer remains until washed off.
Unlike the obscuring mist spell, the ink cloud effect also functions underwater.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, glitterdust, obscuring mist, prestidigitation; Cost 500 gp
A very neat item. At first I thought it was a little too simple, but I like the fact that it works underwater. The only feature I would add is to make the ink work when writing underwater as well.
Ken
First up is an item that didn't even come close to making the cut: I like the idea of it, but it's not particularly exciting and is really only suited to an intrigue/diplomacy based game. Fun, good for 'the caliph has been MURDERED!' moments, but more of a plot hook than something a pc or even a villain would get regular use out of.
Treacherous Decanter:
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This fine crystal carafe would not be out of place in the home of nobility. A treacherous decanter is always created with two separate command words. Upon utterance of the first, it fills with whatever sort of beverage the owner may wish. The decanter holds half a gallon of liquid at a time; this is enough to fill six normal sized glasses or tankards. While any sort of drink may be conjured in this way, it must always be some sort of potable; acid, oil, or any other sort of reagent that would be toxic may not created by the vessel.
The second command word does not need to be spoken aloud; the user need merely think it while holding the decanter. Doing so causes the beverage within to become tainted by any ingested poison the user desires. The decanter need not be completely full when this poison is created; any number of draughts may be poured before poisoning the dregs. The decanter will always create sufficient poison so that each draught remaining within will receive one dose. All beverages and poisons created by the decanter will, if not consumed, vanish after an hour.
Conjuring liquid into the decanter is a move action; giving the silent command to create poison is a swift action. There is no limit to how frequently one may create beverages with it, but it only creates 2,500 gp worth of poison doses per week. If there are more draughts of liquid in the decanter than there are available doses of poison left, the poison function does not work.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Silent Spell, control water, fabricate, 10 ranks in Craft: Alchemy; Cost 7,000 gp
Decanters of endless .... are fairly common, but this is a nice twist on it, with the whole idea of some people getting poisoned and others not.
I had a little difficulty following the details of the abilities, but since its a draft copy that's no big deal.
The endless supply of poisons seems especially powerful for the cost. Considering it is an item that produces 2,500 gp of poison per week, the cost of 7,000 gp to make it seems a bit low. I would either limit the types of poisons it can produce in some way or I would up the cost a lot. Considering that the poison spell alone is at least 3rd level, it should cost at least 12,000 gp just to add that function. Good item, but could use an extra touch of flair, imho. Of course, it's just a draft, so you may not have been done with the costs (most of mine never got that far).
Next up is an item I came up with fairly late into the creation process- second to last item I wrote up over the course of the year. (Side note: the very last item I came up with wound up being my entry. Made me feel kinda dumb for spending a year coming up with ideas....) Since this was quickly supplanted by my actual entry, I never really developed it too far, so it's a little rough as far as effect, and I never really ironed out the pricing beyond a vague guess. Be gentle. :-)
Devouring Compass of the Betrayed Wanderer:
Aura moderate enchantment and divination; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This seems a mostly unexceptional brass and glass compass. Those who observe it closely, however, notice that the needle slowly swings around at random; in fact, anyone attempting to use it for navigation purposes suffer a -2 circumstance penalty to any relevant skill checks. The purpose of a devouring compass is actually to steal the sense of direction from targets of the owner's choice. As a standard action, the owner focuses on one target succeptible to mind-affecting effects within 170'. The target must make a DC 14 Will save or any movement it makes that round will be completely randomized; every five feet of movement it attempts is rolled for on the splash weapon chart to determine the dicrection in which it moves. A creature affected by this will not realize there is anything wrong with its sense of direction until the end of its round; a creature that attempts to move 30' on its turn will attempt to move that full amount, regardless of where it actually goes. It is possible for a creature to step out of its starting square and wind up back in it in the same round as a result of this. The compass absorbs up to ten rounds of movement like this per day; only rounds in which a victim fails his saving throw are deducted from this limit. Once all ten rounds are used, the compass is 'sated' for the day and functions as a regular compass for 24 hours; in addition, the owner may, after sating the compass, use it to cast either locate object or locate creature once per day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, confusion, locate object; locate creature; Cost 5,000 gp
Cool! I like this one. A couple points to fine tune, if the target already moved that round, does it take effect in their next round? Is the target aware at all of the effect? That is, could they just choose not to move? If someone is targeted, could you keep it on them as a standard action without allowing an additional save? That is, keep it going more than one round?
Lastly was one that had a pretty good shot of being my entry; it has SIAC overtones, but I think it adds enough new stuff to the effect to be somewhat on the cool side. One of my main issues was with the construction; the three spells I wanted to use came from three completely different spell lists. That wasn't insurmountable in itself, but it made me uncomfortable. Also I had a difficult time getting it down to under 300 words, which was probably a sign that I had it doing a bit too much; I know that trimming it down made me worried I was laving gaps that would raise questionsPortable Oubliette :
Aura minor conjuration and transmutation, moderate enchantment; CL 10th
Slot -; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A portable oubliette is a palm-sized, polished obsidian sphere. As a standard action, it may be thrown or rolled at any horizontal surface within 60 feet. It strikes this target and sinks into the ground, expanding into a ten foot diameter, thirty foot deep pit that acts as the create pit spell with a DC 15 reflex save required to avoid falling in. The pit also has two additional effects.
Any creature falling into the pit quickly feels hunger pangs as though it hasn't eaten in days. Each round it is in the pit, it is affected by a full day of starvation. Any creature that does not need to eat is immune to this effect. Secondly, all creatures within thirty feet of the pit must make a DC 15 will save or forget any prisoners are inside it. They realize the pit itself is there, and may act to avoid falling in, but ignore anyone inside, even if pleas for help are coming from within. Anyone who saves against this effect may act normally, but must make a new save each round until they are out of the aura's radius or until failing a save. Whoever activated the portable oubliette is immune to this effect. If the prisoner attacks anyone outside the pit, that individual also becomes immune to the forgetfulness aura.
A pit remains for ten minutes, though the one who activated it may dismiss it earlier as a free action. When the effect ends, the bottom of the oubliette rises up and vanishes leaving its prisoners (or their remains) on the surface. A portable oubliette may only be used once.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create pit, feast of ashes, modify memory; Cost 1,500 gp
edited to add spoiler tags because Azmahel's multiple item post looked so much nicer than mine. :-)
Awesome. Very cool item and lots of neat implications in its effects. You could probably cut down on the wording by relating it to other spells. IE: The forgetfulness could be made to function like an illusion (maybe Hallucinatory Terrain), thereby allowing the mechanics to be a reference. This would also allow those outside the circle a chance to notice the person within. You also may want to simply put a silence spell on the pit, making it easier to explain why they can't hear the person inside.
The only note, the price is waaaay to low. That's an obviously easy fix.
Question, can it be thrown at a person? IE if it hits as a ranged touch attack, is there a save?
Good job on these. I bet your actual submission was really good.
Ken
Ok, here are mine. most are quick writeups without much polish and with prices pretty much pulled out of thin air.
The first few are actually reposts from the "blazing month" thread and were never seriously considered for submission ( even if I love some of these), but nevertheless I'll put them here too, to get some more feedback.
Drum of the Northern Gale
** spoiler omitted **
Pendant of the Divine Savior
** spoiler omitted **...
And I thought I wrote a lot!
Ok, here goes...
Drum of the Northern Gale:
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 33000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This small, subtly ornate drum has a drumhead made of the skin of a giant bird and is adorned with delicate feathers. It's inconspicuous appearance belies the fact that it generates a powerful blast of air every time it is struck.
If the drum is beaten as a full round action it creates the equivalent of a severe wind in a 60 ft line.
If the owner is trained in Perform(percussion) he can, as a standard action tune the blasts of air more finely and use them to knock over objects, blow out small fires and perform the bull rush, trip or disarm maneuvers at a range of 30 ft with a CMB of +7.
If the owner is a bard he can as part of the action to maintain his bardic performance spend an extra daily round of performance to surround himself in a vortex of buffeting winds. These winds knock arrows and similar missiles out of their way, such attack made from or against the owner suffer from a 20% miss chance for 1 round.
Construction
Requirements , gust of wind,telekinesis,wind wall Cost 16500 gp
A nice combination of wind-based effects. Interesting to link it to a drum, rather than a fan or wind based instrument.
Nicely done.
Pendant of the Divine Savior :
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot neck; Price 15,000 gp; Weight --
Description
This silver necklace is fashioned after the holy symbol of a good or neutral deity.
The Necklace can store one cure spell of 3rd level or lower.
If the user is reduced to 0 or fewer hit points he can as an immediate action cast the stored spell on himself. In addition he gains DR 5/evil for 1 round per level of the stored spell used.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, breath of life, imbue with spell ability , Creator must have the good or healing domain; Cost 7,500 gp
A simple but effective item. The extra DR gives you a chance to recover a little more. Might want to reword it a little, to state "the stored spell is cast as an immediate action upon the wearer", otherwise it implies the wearer has to cast it, and if below 0 hit points that could be problematic :)
Pendant of the Divine Wrath :
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot neck; Price 15,000 gp; Weight --
Description
This black steel necklace is fashioned after the (un)holy symbol of a evil or neutral deity.
The Necklace can store one use of the channel negative energy ability (maximum 4d6) .
If the user is reduced to 0 or fewer hit points he can as an immediate action release the stored energy. The user can't apply feats like selective channeling to this ability and always takes full damage from the effect, most likely killing him. In addition the pendant automatically empowers the channel and bestows one negative level on every creature that fails it's saving throw against the released energy for 1 hour.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, imbue with spell ability, slay living , Creator must have the evil or destruction domain; Cost 7,500 gp
Interesting. Seems a bit extreme. More of an NPC item if you ask me. Note the suggested change in verbiage as detailed above.
Soulswitch gem, lesser:
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot ---; Price 7,000gp; Weight 1lbs
Description
This multifaceted gem reflects light and images like a polished mirror. When activated with a command word it creates a burst of cascading light and two willing creatures within 60 ft exchange bodies as with a mutual magic jar spell. This effect lasts until dispelled or one full week, whichever comes first.
When the effect ends the gem shatters and the souls return to their original bodies if both souls and bodies are within 60ft of the gem. If one of the recipients is missing, both recipients die, just as with the magic jar spell.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic jar, permanency; Cost 3,500 gpSoulswitch gem
Aura strong necromancy; CL 13th
Slot ---; Price 16,500gp; Weight 1lbs
Description
This gem works just like a lesser Soulswitch gem, but it is useable once per month
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic jar, permanency; Cost 8,250 gp
Not sure I'd ever use this or have any players who wanted to use it. Been done many times in TV and movies. Would be a lot cooler if it could be placed on a construct (such as a golem) and allow the user to put his soul into and control said construct.
Gem of Life's essence (minor Artifact) :
Aura strong necromancy; CL 20th
Slot ---; Weight 2lbs
Description
This fist-sized gem is jet black and looks rather innocuous when empty. Belied by its appearance this artifact has the power to permanently store and preserve a soul.
Whenever a living creature dies within 10 ft of an empty gem its soul (and only its soul) is trapped within the gem unless it succeeds on a Will save (DC 25). When a soul is trapped within the gem it takes on an appearance that subtly reflects the trapped creatures personality and essence. The trapped creature can not be resurrected by any means short unless the gem is destroyed or the soul is freed by offering to replace it with another , willing soul with at least as many hit dice as the original “victim”.
The trapped soul however gains the ability to cast extended magic jar( Cl 20 , DC 21) 3/day to possess other living creatures, using the gem as the spells receptacle. Possession in this way is the creatures only mean of communication or interaction with the world.
Destruction
A Gem of Life's essence can be destroyed by casting a freedom spell on it while on the positive energy plane or by willing it destroyed by a trapped soul of at least 20HD, in which case a trapped soul is utterly destroyed.
It's an artifact...so it couldn't be submitted. I had a couple ideas that I realized into the development would be minor artifacts.
That aside, it is much like other life-trapping items and the magic-jar spell. It would make a cool item for a particular adventure. It's powerful, but has limited functionality.
Focusing(Weapon Special ability) :
A focusing weapon is specifically crafted to resonate with magical effects that enhance weapons and amplify them.
Whenever a focusing weapon is under an temporary effect that give the weapon additional enhancement bonuses or special abilities (like a flaming weapon spell, A Paladins Divine Bond power, or similar ability)
it's enhancement bonus is 2 better than normal.
In addition the wielder may, when scoring a critical hit with the focusing weapon voluntarily discharge any such effect in oder to deal an extra 2d6 points of force damage per equivalent +1 bonus conferred by the effect with the critical hit
Moderate evocation; Cl 5th ; Craft Magic Arms and Armor; magic weapon, dispel magic ; price: +1 bonus
Not a wondrous item, obviously.
That aside, I think it seems more like a way to improve the power of an item by circumventing normal item creation rules. I haven't run the numbers, but it makes more sense to me to just increase the power of the actual item.
Arsenal Scabbard :
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This electrum-ornamented scabbard can magically hold up to 3 swords of any size and shape at the same time. If there is at least one sword stored in the scabbard, it will
always seem as if the scabbard only holds a simple longsword of elegant design. Whenever you draw a weapon from the scabbard you may draw any stored weapon you wish, also once per day you may, as a swift action improve the enhancement bonus of a weapon you are drawing by 1 for one minute, if the drawn weapon already has an enhancement bonus of at least +1 you may instead imbue the weapon with one of the following special abilities for one minute:
flaming, shocking, frost, defending, keen, allying, menacing, merciful.
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This was cool until the end. Adding any of those functions on the fly is just way too powerful in my book. It's a swiss-army-knife.
I'd stick with the the three swords at once function. Then, I'd say the scabbard can grant ONE function. However, there could be multiple versions of this scabbard, with each scabbard providing a different function.
Bracelet of the Five-legged Spider:
Aura moderate necromancy and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot wrist; Price 25000 gp (normal) or 30000 (enhanced); Weight ZZ lbs.
Description
This single iron bracelet is stained with flecks of blood and rust and fits tightly around the wearers wrist. The wearer of the bracelet of the Five-legged spider can literally twist the hand on which the bracelet is worn of his wrist, loosing use of the hand and all magic items worn on it. As soon as the hand is detached from the wearers arm it animates and four tiny eyes appear on the hands knuckles.
The wearer may then empathically commune with the hand at a range of one mile and share its senses (sight and hearing) at a range of 300 feet and command it to perform tasks for him. When out of range of telepathic communication the hand may perform any assigned tasks as a creature with an Intelligence score of 5. The hand may either crawl along the ground with a Speed of 15 ft, or levitate at a height of up to 10 ft. with a speed of 15ft. When levitating the Hand sheds a eerie, purple light equivalent to a light spell.
The Hand has 20% of the wearers HP and an AC of 14 + Any bonuses from magic items worn on the hand. When the Hand is dropped to 0 or less HP it merely becomes inanimate.
The hand can has a maximum carrying capacity equal to 25lbs + 5 lbs per point of strength bonus the wearer has. This is also the maximum force the hand can exert.
The wearer can easily reattach the hand as a standard action as long as the bracelet is worn. If the bracelet is removed while the hand is detached it immediately becomes inanimate.
Originally these items where simply called helping hands but someone mentioned that the crawling hand looked like a spider and the new name stuck. Some have even created versions of this item that amplify the spider theme. These enhanced bracelets do not give the detached hand the ability to levitate but instead give it a climb speed of 20 ft and a poisonous bite attack (+7 bite , 1d3-2 dmg plus medium spider venom)
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item , mage hand, , spectral hand , levitate (normal only) , poison (enhanced only); Cost 12500 gp(normal or 15000(enhanced)
Creepy! An interesting idea, but seems like a better spell than magical item (IMHO).
Swarmseed Arrow (magic weapon):
Aura moderate necromancy and conjuration (evil); CL 13th
Price 6666 gp; Weight ---.
Description
The head of this +2 arrow looks like a ragged, sharp cocoon. For 3 rounds after a Swarmseed Arrow hit a flesh-bearing creature insects can be seen and felt crawling under the targets skin. This sensation, albeit being unsettling does not harm or hinder the target in any way, it merely hints at the things to come. After the 3 rounds pass, a hungry, fiendish army ant swarm erupts from the targets body. The target takes 130 Points of damage, unless it succeeds on a DC 20 Fortitude saving throw, in which case it only takes 3d6+13 points of damage. The swarm is in no way controlled and continues to attack for 13 rounds before breaking up. If the Target died from the eruption of the swarm, a fresh cocoon can be found in the targets corpse that lowers the cost to create a new Swarmseed arrow by 15%. The eruption of the swarm can only be avoided if the infested creature is the target of, remove disease or similar spell in the 3 round onset time.
Construction
Requirements craft magic arms and armor, finger of death, vomit swarm ;Cost 3337 gp
Not a wondrous item, but that aside...
Cool. Powerful, but cool.
--- And these are the ones I did late November and early December and most were at least considered for real submitting
Straps of Adaptive Protection:
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot Body; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
These silver bands of scaly leather are designed to be worn around the upper and lower Arms, Body and legs, forming a full-body harness.
The harness has the ability to transform the wearers skin to be protected against any danger he might be facing.
Every time the wearer takes slashing, piercing, bludgeoning or elemental damage, his Skin transforms to grant him resistance 5 against that elemental type or DR 5 against that type of damage (a character hit by a slashing weapon would gain DR 5/piercing or bludgeoning) for 1 minute or until he takes a different type of damage, whichever comes first. If he takes a different type of damage the wearers skin transforms to protect against that type of damage instead.
If an attack deals more than one type of damage (a flaming morningstar for example would deal bludgeoning, piercing and fire damage) the type of protection the Straps of Adaptive Protection offer is determined randomly.
If the wearer is ever hit by an attack that deals 5 or more types of damage at the same time the Straps of Adaptive protection snap in pieces, becoming completely nonmagical.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, stoneskin, protection from energy; Cost 10,000 gp
I like the effect, but I'm not big on the "body harness" imagery. On one hand this could be read as too powerful, at lower levels, but at high levels it just a neat feature.
Mask of reflected imagery :
Aura faint illusion; CL 4th
Slot head; Price 3000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This highly polished silver mask perfectly reflects the face of every creature holding it in its hands, but becomes translucent and nearly invisible when worn.
As long as the Mask is worn, the wearer will perceive all intelligent creatures to be of his race, allowing him to easily gauge their equivalent age and gender and aiding him in reading facial expressions and body language.
The wearer can see through this illusion and see both the illusionary image and the real creature if he succeeds on a DC 13 Will save.
If the wearer has a bonus on Sense Motive, Diplomacy, or Bluff checks against creatures of his own race he may apply this bonus to all intelligent creatures as long as the mask is worn.
In addition the wearer can 1/day cause the mask to create an illusion that causes other creatures to perceive the wearer as a member of their race. This Illusion can also be disbelieved with a DC 13 Will save.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, disguise self, silent image; Cost 1,500 gp
Interesting. I don't know many players who would be excited by the item, but I'm sure there's a niche for it somewhere.
Sign of Battles Tide:
Aura moderate evocation; CL 11th
Slot – ; Price5,000 gp; Weight – lbs.
Description
This colorful skyrocket firework is inscribed with numerous arcane symbols. It is enchanted to be a receptacle for one Symbol spell. Inscribing a Symbol into a Sign of Battles Tide always takes 2 hours of time and double the normal material cost for the spell.
The Symbol can only be triggered by lighting the Sign of Battles tide and launching it in the air. As the sign of battles tide detonates it creates a huge and brilliantly display of the Symbol which is clearly visible even in bright daylight. When the symbol is triggered in this way, instead of targeting all creatures within 60 ft, it targets all creatures within 600ft that would be affected by a gaze attack. However the Symbol will only remain active for 1 round.
Construction
Requirements Craft wondrous item, Widen Spell, contingency, pyrotechnics; Cost 2,500 gp
Nice idea. I can definitely see this employed in battle scenes.
Sanguine Guardian :
Aura moderate evocation; CL 6th
Slot –; Price 10,000 gp; Weight – lbs.
Description
This sharp and finely crafted obsidian knife is way to short and small to be used as a weapon.
However you can use it to create a deep and painful cut across your palm. Doing so deals 1d2+2 damage to you and gives you bleed 2. As long as you continue to take this bleed damage the blood drawn from this wound will float up and form a scimitar of blood beside you. This blade will deflect incoming blows , giving you a +2 deflection bonus to AC against melee attacks and strikes back at Creatures hitting you in melee.
Whenever you are hit by a melee attack the blade will make an attack of opportunity against the creature that attacked you. Treat this as a melee touch attack with a bonus of +7, dealing 1d6+3 and causing the creature to bleed for 2 points of damage per turn.
The Blade can make up to 6 Attacks of opportunity per turn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, bleed, spiritual weapon; Cost 5,000 gp
Nifty. Seems like it would be a cool spell too.
Angel Eyes :
Aura strong divination; CL 13th
Slot eyes ; Price 24,000 gp; Weight –
Description
These golden lenses hand you the power of the stern and penetrating gaze of the noble celestials, seeing beyond the eyes straight into the hearts of the creatures your gaze falls upon
Once per day you can activate the Angel eyes, causing your eyes to glow with a golden light for 1 minute.
During this period you gain a gaze attack with a range of 60 ft. You can read the surface thoughts (as with detect thoughts) of target creatures as well as discern their exact alignments unless they succeed on a DC 18 Will save.
While your Eyes are glowing you also gain a +4 sacred bonus on Intimidate and Sense motive checks.
Angel Eyes are good aligned. If an evil creature dons them it gains one negative level that can't be removed unless the Angel Eyes are removed first.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, detect thoughts, discern lies; Cost 12,000gp
I'll withhold my thoughts, as I am simply biased against the concept of magical lenses. Just never liked them.
Fickle Dagger (magic weapon):Price 12,301 gp; Weight – lbs.
Description
This curved dagger blends multiple, unfinished designs, as if it couldn't decide on one particular look.
The Fickle dagger's enhancement bonus is always equal to the result of it's last rolled damage die.
If for any reason more than one die is rolled (Such as with the vital strike feat or a critical hit) only the first die counts.
A fickle dagger always deals 1d4 points of damage, no matter which size it is. Magical effects that would increase or decrease it's damage die have no effect on a fickle dagger.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, confusion,magic weapon, creator must be chaotic; Cost 6,301 gp
Weapon again...
This power just seems a bit more trouble then it's worth. First, why would anyone create it? Second, you'd have to keep track of what its last roll was. Strikes me as more of a cursed item.
All in all a great assortment of items. You clearly have a lot of good ideas and developed them well. I bet the items you kept to yourself are definitely worth submitting.
Good luck in the contest :)
Ken
Ken, I'm not forgetting you, but something glitched on me about halfway through youur items and ate my already quite long post, and I can't get myself to redo it all right away.
LOL
No worries. I've had that happen before and it's a huge pain. :)
Besides, most of my own comments on your items were only one or two lines. So, don't feel obligated to repost all your thoughts :)
Thanks!
Ken
Ok adding mine... I love these and used them once in a Desert based Campaign which was heavily enveloped in Undead.I really wanted to submit these but my other item went with a larger picture that these did not. I wanted my item to fit into a larger picture which dealt with introducing the Archetype, villain, location and adventure as a big picture. The Mummified Guardians while having a great premise and strong location and adventure the Archetype was lost to me. So the item ended here.
Mummified Guardian
Aura Moderate Necromantic magic; CL 10th
Slot hand; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs
Long ago the Gods of the great desert regions pasted down the arts of protecting the bodies of the dead and therefore preserving the powers the body possessed while alive. The Gods also invested great power in a certain race of cats known as the cats of the Spirit Keepers. These creatures would drive away undead and protect their owners from the terrible affects the touch of an undead could cause on them. It wasn’t long after the death of one of the first cats that the art of Mummification was used on it and the first of the Mummified Guardians was forged. These mummified cats if displayed before any undead will automatically trigger a channel energy effect as if they were a lawful good cleric equal to twice the HD of their owner (applying all benefits for Charisma and DC affects based on the owner). The undead must see the Mummified Spirit Keeper in order for this affect to trigger. A secondary affect is that the Guardian will grant +5 on all Fortification or Will saves forced by an undead special ability. If a level draining or soul draining undead is confronted those affects will not trigger against the Guardian’s owner.
Moderate transmutation; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, Mummified Cat of the Spirit Keepers, Restoration; Price 12,500 gp.
“The small Mummified cat appeared to ward off the skeletons just as Jorgains father had said it would. It certainly helped save the fallen Crux who was surrounded by the cryptic minions of time past.”
270 words
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Mummified Guardian
I think it's a flavorful item and the concept isn't bad either, but there are too many formatting errors in it, and there are a number of things there that Sean K. Reynolds warned us about in the "auto-reject advice" threads. Backstories (especially long ones) are generally frowned upon, and you should make sure you get the game terms right (Fortification save vs Fortitude save, for example).
I think this would make a neat item if rewritten, and you'd only need about 150-200 words to accomplish that since it's not a very complex item.
I hope that helps. =)
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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Mummified Guardian
Aura Moderate Necromantic magic; CL 10th
Slot hand; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 3 lbsLong ago the Gods of the great desert regions pasted down the arts of protecting the bodies of the dead and therefore preserving the powers the body possessed while alive. The Gods also invested great power in a certain race of cats known as the cats of the Spirit Keepers. These creatures would drive away undead and protect their owners from the terrible affects the touch of an undead could cause on them. It wasn’t long after the death of one of the first cats that the art of Mummification was used on it and the first of the Mummified Guardians was forged. These mummified cats if displayed before any undead will automatically trigger a channel energy effect as if they were a lawful good cleric equal to twice the HD of their owner (applying all benefits for Charisma and DC affects based on the owner). The undead must see the Mummified Spirit Keeper in order for this affect to trigger. A secondary affect is that the Guardian will grant +5 on all Fortification or Will saves forced by an undead special ability. If a level draining or soul draining undead is confronted those affects will not trigger against the Guardian’s owner.
Moderate transmutation; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, Mummified Cat of the Spirit Keepers, Restoration; Price 12,500 gp.
Ok, this one looks like it falls into the "home campaign item" category Clark talks about. . . . let me see how else I can help critique this.
1. Be careful on spelling. I think you meant passed, instead of pasted in your first sentence. A typo is one thing, but a typo that makes it into another word is another.
2. Too much back story here. An item doesn't need this much history. You could simply start it out as "These desiccated remains of a small cat, shrouded in burial cloths, guard against the terrible touch of the undead."
3. Stay consistent. Is your item also a mummified spirit keeper, or a cat of the spirit keepers? It seems like you're mixing the two, and it gets confusing.
4. Mind the actual game terms. What is a "Fortification" save? Do you mean Fortitude? Also, what is "soul draining"? It sounds cool, but I'm unfamiliar with this -- is this just something I'm not aware of?
5. At its core, when you get rid of all the back story, you have an item that is a mummified cat (which is kinda cool), that grants you 2X the channel energy class feature of a cleric of your level. It also gives you a +5 Fortitude and +5 Will save (bonus?) versus any undead special ability. These are useable as many times as you want? Even clerics get a specific number of times they can channel positive energy. So your cat suddenly makes the rogue better at destroying undead than a cleric? That's too much. Plus the +5 to both Will and Fortitude is pretty powerful. Also you're immune to any level draining, or "soul draining."
Your item basically just shuts down any undead. It can't do anything to you, and you can blast it with epic amounts of positive energy all day long. So you take a cool, fun, dangerous encounter and you just make it a cakewalk?
Sorry, but the best way I can say to fix this is to strip away most of the back story, and dial the power way, way down.
You never want an item to be better at a class feature than someone in that class. If I was a cleric and you gave that item to the party I'd be kind of pissed. Because now I might as well just wait outside with the horses. No one wants to be upstaged by a dead cat.
No one wants to be upstaged by a dead cat.
This might be the best item critique sentence I've ever read.
Great feedback. All the typo’s would have certainly been weeded out and my thought was to also limit the item to working once and then being destroyed by the event. I also have another one that is a Mummified Hawk which has another interesting power like the cats but the cats were a more completed example (although not done yet too).
I will update the item for my home play with your suggestions.
Enjoying the contest… and good luck to everyone else that put their items in.
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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Great feedback. All the typo’s would have certainly been weeded out and my thought was to also limit the item to working once and then being destroyed by the event. I also have another one that is a Mummified Hawk which has another interesting power like the cats but the cats were a more completed example (although not done yet too).
I will update the item for my home play with your suggestions.
Enjoying the contest… and good luck to everyone else that put their items in.
I agree that making it a one-use item helps limit the power. I'm still not sure on the 2X a class's ability for any item though. That sounds way too much, even for a one-use thing.
Thanks for posting your work-in-progress item. Good luck with the other items you're crafting for your home game, and best of luck on your wondrous item submission!
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Amphora of Humble Offering
I like the idea behind this item, and it resembles an item I considered submitting, but chose not to. As for the flavor, if I recall correctly, Pharasma hates the undead, and therefore would never give something nice ("a humble offering") to them. Of course, this item will be used to distract undead creatures, which would further Pharasma's goals. But trickery isn't her thing, so I don't quite see this kind of item being something Pharasma's followers would use. Maybe that's just me. :D
There are some language issues. "Non-pours"? I presume you meant "non-porous". Also "lay" vs "lie".
Game terms & formatting need checking. For example, "will check" should be "Will save". Spell names should be written in lower case. "Necromantic" should be "necromancy". "1600 gp gp" should be "1,600 gp".
Also, the price seems a little low for the effect, even if it's usable only once per day. Pricing an item is difficult, so I don't know how much it should be, though. :P
In short, I like the item, but there are quite many minor errors in it that need fixing. Anyway, I hope my feedback helps. =)
OK here's one I started but decided it was a rule breaker, the "Blind but not blind item. I didn't even price it out or attach a spell to it as I gave up on it before I finished it.
** spoiler omitted **
Hard to fully comment on a half-developed item, but I think your instincts were right in not using this as an entry. Not a complete 'blind-but-not-blind' item, since it doesn't grant tremorsense, blindsight, or any of the other 'better than vision' senses, and thus probably wouldn't be too unbalanced once completed, but it does fly far enough down the throat of that particular one of SKRs guidelines that it might not have managed to turn around and fly back out.
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
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A great critique of the Mummified Guardian.
The only thing I would add is that the "Hands" slot means that you have to wear the mummified cat like a glove. (Not something I want to think about too much!) I think the item should be slotless. If it has to be held to be used, this should be specified in the description.
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A great critique of the Mummified Guardian.
The only thing I would add is that the "Hands" slot means that you have to wear the mummified cat like a glove. (Not something I want to think about too much!) I think the item should be slotless. If it has to be held to be used, this should be specified in the description.
*sigh* I wanted to come up with a clever remark about calling the item "Mittens", but it just wasn't there for me...
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Rusty Ironpants
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*sigh* I wanted to come up with a clever remark about calling the item "Mittens", but it just wasn't there for me...
A great critique of the Mummified Guardian.
The only thing I would add is that the "Hands" slot means that you have to wear the mummified cat like a glove. (Not something I want to think about too much!) I think the item should be slotless. If it has to be held to be used, this should be specified in the description.
Mummy Kitten Mittens??
Hi Azmahel, thanks for starting this again this year.
Ok, folks, here are those items that made it into my "possible" category, but didn't make it to my "worth submitting" category. These are therefore not my "best" ideas", but I guess you could say they are my "next-to-the-best" ideas. None are completely developed, since I didn't put that much effort into them. Some it is obvious why I rejected them. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them.
Thanks! Ken
Last year, I think there were two or three times I tried to do a mass reply to a big list of items and the board ate my posts every time. But I managed to do it with Azmahel's big ol' list, so maybe I've turned a corner in my posting luck (and remebering to copy a wall of text before I hit post, just in case.). Let's see.
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Cauldron of Heroic Brew
I have a personal bias against items that vary effect based on alignment, so I'll state off the bat that I don't care for that aspect of this. But leaving that aside and using the 'good' effects as a baseline for commentary, I would say this does a bit much even as a one-use-per-month. A bonus move action for the whole party for the whole day? Yowza. The moral bonus to attacks and saves is okay, though obviously it's hard to say what's balanced or appropriate without a price point established. I suspect this would be a fairly high end item with those two effects alone. As for the other effect... I'm not sure what you mean by 'enlarge 20%'. Was your mind drifting back to an old edition version of enlarge? Also the 'most severe wound' healing is awkward. I assume that means the character heals the damage from a single hit? That's not awful in itself, but bear in mind a lot of players don't keep track of their specific wounds past a single fight.
I will say for all the mechanical issues, this is a pretty evocative item. Makes me think of bold celtic heroes feasting and making merry before going to war.
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Impenetrable Pack
It seems a very well and thoroughly designed device intended to counteract a problem that's pretty minor. Maybe it's just me; I've never really had a killer DM who makes me run down a list of all the breakables in my bag when a character falls off a cliff or gets hit by a fireball. In the end, I'd rather have a handy haversack give me more carrying capacity and deal with the occasional smashing bottle of aci or alchemists fire. I DO quite like the auto-repairing effect, though.
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Iron Bone Bracer
I kind of think you had something here, so I trust the ideas you ultimately went with were even better. Still rough, but it seems a workable concept. Instead of having your AC treated as 5 higher for purposes of confirming crits, I'd suggest just going with having it give light fortification.
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Librarian's Satchel
Much like the impenetrable pack, I think this is a bit more specific an item than the average character might want- the filing system aspect of it is nice, but I think most of the time a player is fine with just tossing all those old books he finds in the wizards towers into a portable hole and calling it a day. Again, the auto-repair function is the neatest part of this for me, which makes me wonder if an item that was focused entirely around that concept would knock my socks off.
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Orb of Projection
So it's basically a crystal ball with project image tacked on? Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad idea at all- I think I had an NPC with a similar item once- but it's probably a ubiquitous enough concept that it's not quite superstar-ish.
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Orb of Mental Repose
I want to like this more than I do- it's an idea that hasn't seen much use before, so that's a good thing- but it is the kind of effect that makes me wary. Offhand, I don't THINK it would be hugely abuseable, since it would take hours and hours to regain use of just a couple high level spells- but without any limits on how much it can be used I feel like I'm overlooking something big. Something very big that I would only discover when an optimizing sort of player gets his hands on this. Aside from that vague fear, it seems like a good concept. Is this useless to spontaneous casters, though? Or is that line about time still being needed to prepare spells there only there to cover that specific use for prepared casters, not to say 'only prepared casters can use this'?
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Seeds of Demon Kind
Pretty evocative writing here; the item itself is kind of a monster-in-a-box, though. And this was obviously an idea that saw even less development than the rest of these entries, given how many question marks are all over the place, here. :-)
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Thread of Mending
Hey, here's that mending item some of your earlier entries were working their way up to! Again, much like with the impenetrable pack, I find myself wondering if you grew up playing 1st edition with one of those DMs that made you roll saving throws for every. single. item. every time a wizard fireballed you and you're scarred for life as a result. Unfortunately, the mechanics on this don't quite work out as well as I'd hoped. I think the problem is that, as far as using it on damaged cloth items, it talks about repairing in terms of 'inches' which is probably asking a bit more of a DM than most are willing to give. DM: 'His sword damages your cloak; it does... 4 hit points of damage, your cloak is now destroyed.' Player: 'I have some thread of mending; how many inches is the slice in my cloak?' DM: '...grrr.' Maybe have it use x inches per hit point of damage to the item? Or you could sew it into an item beforehand and now that item has x hardness? I do like the option of using it as a component in making a new item, though there I think that giving 3/day etherealness is a bit major.
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Traveler's Carriage
Again, some nice writing here, though this I think is one of those items that tends to annoy the judges just because it takes some of the fun out of adventuring. There's really two possible cases here; either the party is above a certain level and they can pretty much just teleport or fly from location to location and never set eyes on a dusty road again, in which case this is kind of just a frivolous piece of fluff to pimp themselves out with. Or, they're not at that level yet, and this is a limo taking them to their destination without having to deal with camping or navigating.
Here is one of my final few that I decided not to submit.
Clockwork Heart of the Gearsmen
Me likes! I have a major fondness for clockwork items, so I was interested from the name alone, but silly biases aside I think you did a good job here. (And Numeria is very high on the list of countries I would sell family members to Paizo in exchange for a sourcebook on.) The effects are okay, though maybe not supersexy. I like the notion of a device allowing constructs to be mentally controlled, but is it actually intended that the dominate effect has no save? (though as Azmahel pointed out too, a will save for a construct is kind of a joke, so maybe that's not needed aside from being a formality...) I do like that it takes a skill check to activate (and that there are two possible skill checks to be made.) It's a neat one.
I was originally going to post a re-working of my original RPG superstar entry, but then realised that it would not qualify thanks to having been mentioned previously. So here is the Amphora of Humble offering, as it was when I stopped reworking it and before it got to go over it for spelling and grammar.
Amphora of Humble Offering
I remember this one! Actually just reread all the old critique threads back in November, so it's pretty fresh in my mind, too. But I still would remember it because it was a really, really vivid item even three years ago. It's not SO fresh in my head that I can tell where you've made changes, and I'm too lazy to go looking it up, but I do think this would have been a strong contender, aside from some minor grammar issues. And... not to make you second guess, but would this be ineligible? The maw of Urgathoa was submitted (and accepted) two years in a row, after all.
Ok adding mine... I love these and used them once in a Desert based Campaign which was heavily enveloped in Undead.I really wanted to submit these but my other item went with a larger picture that these did not. I wanted my item to fit into a larger picture which dealt with introducing the Archetype, villain, location and adventure as a big picture. The Mummified Guardians while having a great premise and strong location and adventure the Archetype was lost to me. So the item ended here.
Mummified Guardian
I'm coming a bit late to the party on this one & don't have a lot to add that hasn't already been said. A bit home campaigny and would need further definition re: abilites and use before being a decent RPGSS entry.
*sigh* I wanted to come up with a clever remark about calling the item "Mittens", but it just wasn't there for me...
A great critique of the Mummified Guardian.
The only thing I would add is that the "Hands" slot means that you have to wear the mummified cat like a glove. (Not something I want to think about too much!) I think the item should be slotless. If it has to be held to be used, this should be specified in the description.
Mummy Kitten Mittens??
Three little kittens lost their mittens, and they began to cry:
'Oh, Mummy dear, we sadly fear that we have lost our mittens.''What, lost your mittens- then be undead, kittens! You shall never die!'
'Groaaan groaaan groaaan groaaan, we shall never die!'
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Rusty Ironpants
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Okay, here is my second place choice. Ultimately I did not submit this one because 1) since it is very bard-oriented I thought it might not have wide appeal to players and 2) I liked one idea a bit better.
Faces of Drama
Aura Faint Enchantment; CL 1st
Slot Head; Price 2,200 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This finely crafted porcelain mask displays either the laughing face of comedy or the crying face of tragedy at any given time. When showing the face of comedy, the mask grants the wearer a +2 competence bonus on perform(comedy) checks. However when it displays the face of tragedy, the mask grants a +2 competence bonus on perform(act) checks instead. Once per day, when displaying the face of comedy the wearer may, as a standard action, use hideous laughter (will save DC 12, duration 1 round) on one target within 25 feet. After using hideous laughter the mask changes to show the face of tragedy. Also once per day, when it displays the face of tragedy the wearer may, as a standard action, use lesser confusion (will save DC 12, duration 1 round) on one target within 25 feet. After using lesser confusion the mask changes to display the face of comedy.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, confusion, hideous laughter; Cost 1,100 gp
Faces of Drama
Really liked this one, seems balanced enough and I just love the theme. Then again, I have a soft spot for bards. As it is, it's a little SIAC for my taste; maybe the comedy and tragedy effects could be worked a bit in order to make the mask more unique. Instead of jut duplicating the spells, there could be a twist or something.
Anyway, I like the idea a lot, and I wonder what it is that you submitted after all!
Joe Wells:
Treacherous DecanterNot sure why fabricate is a req and why poison isn't. Also, I'd have gone with create water over control water.
It's hard to make a guess where my head was at when I came up with the construction requirements, since that was a while ago. I think I was trying to have it be something an arcane caster could create all by himself- that was definitely the case with fabricate (and 10 ranks of alchemy) over poison. I feel like control, rather than create, water was an unintended error, though, even though create water isn't on the wiz/sorc spell list. I am 100% sure when I dug it up for posting here that I THOUGHT it required create water, though, and it managed to slip my attention before I posted it. If I was seriously considering submitting this and had some extra words, and really wanted to have it be craftable by clerics and wizards both, I might have it be something like:
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, create water, poison or fabricate and 10 ranks craft: alchemy.Not sure how 'legal' (or, worse, comprehensible) if/then style construction requirements are, though.
Sean McGowan wrote:
edited to add spoiler tags
I kind of wish you hadn't. The spoiler tags just make it harder to reply. There's nothing wrong with posting everything out in the open, presuming proper punctuation and whitespace. I'd prefer that everyone left spoiler tags for actual spoilers.
Er... yeah. Apologies in advance for this then. Sorry, just a personal preference; I look at giant walls o' text and have a hard time focusing on the paragraph I'm reading.
Azmahel:
Hm. nice basic idea, but this time the execution is not so good.Quote:
Devouring Compass of the Betrayed Wanderer
Yeah, the reasons you bring up here are why I dropped it after two drafts. It could have had the bugs hammered out, but ultimately it was easier to go with an idea that excited me more. But to answer your questions:
For example:
a fighter wants to charge someone 60ft away.
first you will have to roll 1d8 twelve times and see step by step where he went, then you have to see what happens with his attack. If he ends up adjacent to his target does he get the charge benefits, an attack at all? what if he ends adjacent to another enemy?, an ally?
Also there is quite a chance that you use this ability and your target does not move at all ( full attack, or simply stand in the back, casting). And do these rounds count as a devoured round?
These are definite things I'd have had to address in a rewrite, no doubt. I don't have an 'official' answer since I never got that far, but my instinct during the first drafts was that failing a save and being affected by it would completely screw up a charge (unless the affected party somehow managed to roll all the right numbers needed to go in a straight line) And IF a charge got screwed up, then it would probably be fair to have the fighter's movement end after 30' (or whatever his standard move speed is) and give him the option of taking a standard action in lieu of just failing his charge attack.
He's not actually affected by confusion, so he can still tell enemies and allies apart, so he wouldn't be required to attack his buddy just because he ended up next to him.
I imagine part of the challenge of this item would be in accurately predicting what an opponent will do in a round, so it's possible you could zap someone with it and do no more than mess up their 5' step if they take it; regardless, I'd say any round that someone failed a saving throw against it counts as a round of 'devoured' motion for purposes of filling up the compass.
What I really like is the secondary ( or tertiary if you count the -2) effect. this gives the item another level of usability and tactical applications. but given the randomness and possible uselessness of the first ability some characters might get the idea to imply let the compass devour their way to breakfast in the morning and simply use it for the secondary effect only.
I don't really have much of a problem with the last; if they want to burn up the combat uses of the compass first thing in the morning just to have it be a 1/day locate thingy item, more power to them; a wand of locate thingy would be the more economical option, if that's all they want it for, though.
Elora:
Sean McGowan wrote:
Portable OublietteThis really gets my DM chuckles going, and I can think of a few characters I've played who'd love to carry a couple of these around too. Seems a bit deadly for the price, but then again it is a one-use item...so I'm okay with it. I could use some clarification on the activation of the item. The description states that "it may be thrown or rolled at any horizontal surface within 60 feet. It strikes this target and sinks into the ground..." Can you roll it along the ground and decide that you want it to stop and activate forty feet out? What, precisely, do you mean by "this target"?
My wording might have been off (again, it needed more drafts). Basically, much like the create pit spell that this is a canned version of, the 'target' is a 10x10 horizontal surface within range; in this case 60'. So yeah, you pick your spot, roll it, and in my mind it would then swiftly and unerringly zip along the ground, darting around feet and other obstructions in the way, until it hit the spot you wanted it to. Definitely a case of the picture in my head being clearer than it came out. Glad you liked it, though!
Kenneth T. Cole
The endless supply of poisons seems especially powerful for the cost. Considering it is an item that produces 2,500 gp of poison per week, the cost of 7,000 gp to make it seems a bit low. I would either limit the types of poisons it can produce in some way or I would up the cost a lot. Considering that the poison spell alone is at least 3rd level, it should cost at least 12,000 gp just to add that function. Good item, but could use an extra touch of flair, imho. Of course, it's just a draft, so you may not have been done with the costs (most of mine never got that far).
True- I think in pricing I was shaving off some major gold for the limitations in poison, though. (That it a) has to be ingested and b)can't be saved.) But as you say, it wasn't something I put a LOT of thought into after the initial write-up.
Cool! I like this one. A couple points to fine tune, if the target already moved that round, does it take effect in their next round? Is the target aware at all of the effect? That is, could they just choose not to move? If someone is targeted, could you keep it on them as a standard action without allowing an additional save? That is, keep it going more than one round?
A- Yes... the round that the compass' power is working is the same as if you cast a one round spell on someone- it's in effect until the beginning of your next turn.
B- They're not supposed to be aware of the effect; ideally, someone zapped would act just as though they normally would. Admittedly, that's a lot harder to adjudicate from a metagame perspective, since after the first use either the NPCs or players know what it does.C- You could keep the effect going on the same target, but it would require a save each round.
Awesome. Very cool item and lots of neat implications in its effects. You could probably cut down on the wording by relating it to other spells. IE: The forgetfulness could be made to function like an illusion (maybe Hallucinatory Terrain), thereby allowing the mechanics to be a reference. This would also allow those outside the circle a chance to notice the person within. You also may want to simply put a silence spell on the pit, making it easier to explain why they can't hear the person inside.
The only note, the price is waaaay to low. That's an obviously easy fix.
Question, can it be thrown at a person? IE if it hits as a ranged touch attack, is there a save?
Honestly, the more I think about this one the easiest thing to do would be to get rid of the 'forget' effect altogether. Really, I only put it there because I was playing with the idea of an oubliette; at no point did I say 'damn, I have to think of a way for the victims allies to be prevented from helping him out'. It would save a ton of word countage and make it an easier read, since that was the most confusing effect.
As I said in my answer to Elora, the 'target' of the ball needs to be the ground; if you chuck it at someone I imagine it would just bounce off their chest, fall to their feet, and then not do anything since it wasn't activated.
And honestly.. I'm not certain it is that badly undercosted. At the core, it's a one shot item that enacts a second level spell at 10th caster level. Obviously, given the starvation and forgetfulness effects, it does a bit more than that, but it really isn't as deadly as it looks on paper. Someone who falls victim to it (or multiple someones) takes 3d6 falling damage, but then the starvation effect takes at least three rounds before they even start taking nonlethal damage. And there's really nothing preventing a victim from climbing out aside from a couple DC 25 climb checks; that might not be the easiest climb for a critter that doesn't have many ranks in it, especially once they start starving and take a strength hit due to fatigue, but then, someone in the pit has a good long while with nothing to do but try and get out. I could see bumping it up a couple of thousand gold, but I don't think I'd be comfortable with this over 5 or 6 K. It just wouldn't be worth it.
Okay, here is my second place choice. Ultimately I did not submit this one because 1) since it is very bard-oriented I thought it might not have wide appeal to players and 2) I liked one idea a bit better.
Faces of Drama
Aura Faint Enchantment; CL 1st
Slot Head; Price 2,200 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This finely crafted porcelain mask displays either the laughing face of comedy or the crying face of tragedy at any given time. When showing the face of comedy, the mask grants the wearer a +2 competence bonus on perform(comedy) checks. However when it displays the face of tragedy, the mask grants a +2 competence bonus on perform(act) checks instead. Once per day, when displaying the face of comedy the wearer may, as a standard action, use hideous laughter (will save DC 12, duration 1 round) on one target within 25 feet. After using hideous laughter the mask changes to show the face of tragedy. Also once per day, when it displays the face of tragedy the wearer may, as a standard action, use lesser confusion (will save DC 12, duration 1 round) on one target within 25 feet. After using lesser confusion the mask changes to display the face of comedy.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, confusion, hideous laughter; Cost 1,100 gp
I like this; it's simple and could use a little sumpin' sumpin' to make it slightly hotter, but I don't think you need to worry about an item only being appealing to a certain class; last year there were like four bard items that made it through, plus a couple cleric specific ones, some that were useful only to spellcasters, etc.
Anyway, I like the theming and appearance of this; I LOVE the fact that the faces keep changing back and forth. The spell effects, while appropriate, are what's slightly lacking here; as is, it's got SIAC overtones. I think this would have been stronger if the comedy/tragedy faces had powers that weren't direct riffs off of spells; but of course then you would start running into word count issues.Aside from choosing whether or not to cast a spell, does the wearer have any control over the faces switching back and forth? If he has ranks in Perform: Comedy but not Perform: Act, for instance, and he likes his +2 competence bonus, can he will it to change back to comedy after using hideous laughter or is he simply stuck in tragedy land until he casts the other spell?