The Haiku Game

[Sliska Zafir]

Eat Mr. T *Crunch*
I pity the fool who eats
Humans like me up

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Humans like me up
But vampires like me down
What am I? The Sun

[Sliska Zafir]

What am I, the Sun?!
Grow your own damn vegetables,
You garden shirkers.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You garden Sherpas
Can never hope to rise high
As Tenzing Norgay

[GoatToucher]

As Tenzing Norgay
Died way back in '86
Let's find another.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Let's find another
Species to rule over Earth
Humanity sucks!

[Charles Scholz]

Humanity sucks
Too many politicians
The are the problem!

[Sliska Zafir]

The _____ are the problem!
Then what is the solution?
I will let you guess.

[GoatToucher]

I will let you guess
What I have in my pocket
(Hint: It's my penis.)

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

It's my Pen-15
Membership that makes me the
Cool Kid in 8th-grade

[Sliska Zafir]

Cool Kid in 8th grade,
Was Bully in 7th grade,
Now a Hot Freshman.

[GoatToucher]

Now a hot, fresh man
Taken right out of the tank
Would be nice right now.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Would be 'Nice' right now
If that won't work, try 'Lying'
Malcolm's Mood-Meter

[Sliska Zafir]

Malcom's mood met her
Right where she did not want him
Too overbearing.

[Charles Scholz]

Two over Bearing
Straits, Jet packs' fuel running low
Landing in cold water.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Land in cold water
As you drink a hot coffee
Don't step on the fish!

[GoatToucher]

"Don't, Stephon! The FISH!"
She screamed as the tank spilled forth.
He held a hammer.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

He held a hammer.
Your guy was nailed to some boards.
Got any questions?

[Sliska Zafir]

Got any questions?
Why, that makes you curious,
Doesn't it, my child?

[Charles Scholz]

Doesn't Itt, my child,
Looks great in his bowler hat
Addams Family rocks.

[Sliska Zafir]

A damned family
Of rocks has nothing on you,
Tray of butter rolls.

[GoatToucher]

Trey, of Butter Rolls
You are the most courageous
Knight of Pastry Land

[Spenser Quixote]

"Knight of Pastry Land"
Holds King Candy for ransom
Antipaladin!

[GoatToucher]

Anti-paddlin!
None of you should spank your kids.
Give them a "time out"

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Give them a time out
Of Time, a place without Space,
In THE TWILIGHT ZONE

[JTDV]

In THE TWILIGHT ZONE
Place is a madhouse...you know?
I forgot the words

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I forgot the words
And the gestures just looked rude
Wizard's apprentice

[Quiche Lisp]

Wizard's apprentice
Such a bountiful malice
Will he rocks your socks ?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"Will, he rocks; you suck"
Captain Picard explains his
promoting Data

[JTDV]

Promoting Data
Feeling with Counselor Troi
Restraining order

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Restraining Order
Throw Chaos in disarray
The Neutrals strike back!

[Grand Magus]

The Neutrals strike back!
My dice are mean and nasty
They roll only to kill

[GoatToucher]

They rolll only to kill
The thing about crocodiles:
You know they party.

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

You know they party
Like it's nineteen, ninety nine,
All of the damn time!

[Grand Magus]

All of the dame time!
My d20 rolls a nine
That is not a hit

[JTD]

That is not a hit
'tis a tickle and a slap
That will cost you, fool

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

That will cost you fool,
My plan can still come to bear,
Glorious success!

[Gremlins from the Kremlin]

Glorious success!
five-year plan finished in four
Two plus two is five!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Two plus two is five?
Where the bloody hell did you,
Get that nonsense from?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Get that nonsense-form
Mail it to the IRS
Tax Day can be fun....!

[Mr. Grinch]

Tax day can be fun,
If you are an old miser.
For others, it's not!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"Four others, it's not!"
Yoda bombs his cameo
On Sesame Street

[GoatToucher]

On Sesame Street
I can tell you how to get
Black tar heroin.

[Laser Clown of the 34th Century]

BLACTAR: HEROINE
OF THE ANTI-GALAXY!!!
Watch out, Sailor Moon!

[GoatToucher]

Watch out, Sailor Moon!
Uranus is in danger!
And other sex puns.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"...And other sex puns
are capital offenses!"
HAIL FREEDONIA

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Hail Freedonia,
And my victory on this
And on another thread!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

On another thread
ANNOUNCER: Now for something
Completely different

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Completely different
Is that what you had in mind?
Better luck next time!

[Bardess]

Better luck next time
Is something I hate to hear
When I did my best