Ossuary Golem
Description: Created by imprisoning an undead creature within a construct's stony facade, an ossuary golem is a deadly combination of necromancy and artifice. Those who defeat an ossuary golem often find victory to be short-lived, as the golem's destruction merely releases the trapped undead. An ossuary golem's appearance varies by culture, but it is usually sculpted as a 7-foot-tall stone humanoid with a head carved in the shape of a skull. The golem's body is covered in protective inscriptions that pulse with magical energy, preventing its undead captive from escaping. Ossuary golems generally contain incorporeal undead like wraiths or spectres, but it is not uncommon to find a mummy or vampire bound within, and some scholars theorize that it is even possible to trap evil outsiders like shadow demons inside a specially prepared golem. The imprisoned creature has no control over the golem's actions, which makes ossuary golem creation particularly attractive to evil individuals who dislike the willfulness of their intelligent undead minions. Even good-aligned spellcasters will occasionally create ossuary golems in order to seal away dangerous undead that are difficult to destroy permanently.
Powers and Abilities: An ossuary golem has the extraordinary strength and immunity to magic possessed by other golems, but the imprisoned undead within the construct fuels several potent necromantic abilities. The glowing eye sockets of the golem discharge magical rays that drain the life force of living targets, and opponents who heavily damage the golem's body can cause it to release a torrent of negative energy. When an ossuary golem is finally destroyed, it explodes in a burst of necromantic magic that unleashes the trapped (and often enraged) undead. Ossuary golems are particularly dangerous in groups, as the negative energy they emit can bolster undead freed from other destroyed golems.
I don't usually like monsters that get nastier as you kill them, but this is a pretty nice combo. The idea of a construct with an undead inside is cool, but I could see this being pretty tricky to combo CR-wise (if the golem is too strong who cares about the zombie inside, if the golem is too weak, the vampire inside is pretty nasty surprise) - just something to keep in mind. This might be even cooler if it got different abilities based on the undead inside, but that's a whole Pandora's box of tricky issues.
Although I find the idea of good creatures making this a bit dubious as there's no negative effect to the horror inside, I do like the idea of a group of these turning into a hard to put down horde of zombies. Thinking it through a little more, I also really like the idea of an unoffensive golem getting broken by some trigger happy PCs, who now have a vampire to contend with. Nasty stuff! Well done.
I like the idea of this creature.
I think it might work better as a template, requiring an level-draining undead at its core, with the creature's powers based on what's inside. Making it a template would help the CR be more accurate--it prevents Golem A with a wight in it from having the same CR of Golem B which contains a dread wraith.
Initial Impression: A wraith wrapped in a golem. I love it! I’m looking forward to this...
Concept (name, overall design choices, design niche, playability/usability, challenge): A
Really great, fun idea. It’s like an evil tootsie pop–except the surprise center can level drain you! I have to admit, you are stretching the monster concept here, in that this is really a new golem that simply contains a form of undead. So what I want to see is something unique about the golem itself. If its only unique quality is that it holds an undead, I’m not sure that is enough. Luckily, your golem does more. It actually uses the trapped undead to fuel some necromantic powers, which is good. I also like that these could be created by good spellcasters as well as evil ones.
Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, world neutral, quality of mandatory content—description, summary of powers): B+
Very professional organization. This has been edited, that is for sure. I could use a bit more teasing in the powers section. Golems are devoid of motivation, so you sort of tie one of your hands behind your own back with this. But the description section is well done.
Tilt (did it grab me, do I want to use one in an adventure?): A
Like a Recees Peanut Butter Cup, this is two great tastes that taste great together–no, I don’t mean chocolate and peanut butter, I mean undead and golems! I want to use this now. I wish I had come up with this.
Overall: A
The golem with the surprise center rules! Oh man, I can see the shock on the players’ faces now...
Recommendation: I DO recommend this creature advance.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16, 2010 Top 4
aka Alexander MacLeod
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An ossuary golem's appearance varies by culture, but it is usually sculpted as a 7-foot-tall stone humanoid with a head carved in the shape of a skull...
When I read the name, I thought for sure it would have been built out of bones, like that really cool ossuary somewhere in Eastern Europe.
Very nice!
Interesting. It does seem to be a templated creature, I agree. If statted, I would love to see how the template works depending on the strength/weakness of the golem vs the undead enslaved within it.
The Monster within a monster idea is a particularly neat one...and often a hard angle to work into a monster without it seeming contrived. This monster does it. That the bound undead creature within powers the abilities of the golem is pretty darned cool.
And who knows what kind of nasty is inside! Very interesting.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9
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Best idea of the lot, head and shoulders above the rest.
I wouldn't template the creature, so much as vary its abilities based on the HD of the trapped creature. First to avoid over-complicating it (the Ossuary Golem is the monster, the main power boost it gets is the surprise center).
If the necromantic energies of the trapped creature fuel the golem's powers, does that mean the trapped undead is weakened over the course of a fight? I could see clever PCs prolonging the fight to weaken the undead inside enough to destroy it.
This has everything a monster needs. Great story potential, image and shock value.
Cool.
I'd assume the Golem would have it's own CR independent of the Undead contained within it, which has it's own CR appropriate to it's type...
Or at least that would make the most sense, given it would seem to function like two monster encounters directly in a row.
Like others said, it would be cool if the powers varied depending on the contained Undead, or if they were 'powered' by 'feeding off' the contained Undead's negative energy force (like by applying Level Drain penalties - which could keep the combined Golem + Undead CR roughly equal).
But all that is stuff to be dealt with in the stat block, not the description.
Good job!
As I read it, it grew on me. I like this monster! Good write-up and I expect to see you in round 3.
This is my favorite monster of the round, and as such it gets one of my votes. Great job!
i really like this concept especially the bit about the possibility of evil outsider versions
Everyone else seems to be enthralled with this guy, but I'm not seeing it. It's a decent monster. The fact that it actually gains necrotic powers from the undead trapped within is nice, and differentiates it from the golem pack. The question has been raised, rightfully, about how to handle mechanically the different sorts of undead that are lodged within its stony shell.
I honestly don't know if you have my vote yet. I'm not terribly impressed, but it's competent and workable, which so far is as good as it's gotten.
The Libris Mortis just about sank the interest I had with undead and I've been gritting my teeth with each new undead horror that oozes, bloats, or otherwise drags it's disgusting necrotic carcass onto the pages of published products ever since.
This is a great one-two punch encounter creature. The gotcha element would make it fun to run and it just seems to be a herald of a more refined sort of undead. I could totally see a vampire lord employing this as a guardian.
Economically it is pretty sensible also, by imprisoning an undead you're getting two guardians for the cost of a single golem, great for the frugal caster who has extra undead on his hands.
This is easily one of the best I've seen this round.
This is quite possibly the nastiest victory surprise to ever be played upon a group. I love it! Spring this one and the tension in players hesitant to destroy anything adds an element to a campaign that is really hard to generate.
Bravo.
Wow, I really hate being a naysayer here, but why the love for this? It's a fun idea, but Matthew didn't "create" anything! This is a monster-in-a-box without offering anything unique, just rehashes of already existing monsters. Someone else combined brown mold with Yaks and got harshed on for lack of originality (pretty fracking original if you ask me).
Believe me, I like this idea, but not as an entry for this contest.
Instead of a template how about just three versions of the monster...
Lesser, the weakest that holds a shadow
normal, more powerful then the lesser, holds a wraith
Greater, most powerful, holds a specter.
Wow, I really hate being a naysayer here, but why the love for this? It's a fun idea, but Matthew didn't "create" anything! This is a monster-in-a-box without offering anything unique, just rehashes of already existing monsters.
Really, what Golem has necromantic SLA's shooting from it's eyes? Those are not directly derived from the abilities of the example undead given. This isn't a "Template" because the contained undead STILL EXISTS, and indeed is released after the Golem is killed, with it's own CR and abilities. I don't see how it's fundamentally different than a mind-controlling monster that takes over a host, fighting with it's abilities (it's own CR) and then can fight on it's own if it's host is destroyed (which exist in the game, just not with the undead/construct approach).
Someone else combined brown mold with Yaks and got harshed on for lack of originality (pretty fracking original if you ask me).
I think Dennis got harshed on because he was trying to do too much.
I actually thought the base concept of Brown Urus was great, and the fact you can call it a "Template" doesn't itself detract from it, IMHO - after all, aren't VAMPIRES "just a Template"? If the specific creature is ONLY meant to be encountered in that specific form (merged with host), you might as well just call that merged form a creature rather than build a Template that will only be applied to one creature type.
This is one of my favs for sure. I don't think it would be that hard. You could stat up a common one, then do variants for ghosts, vampire,liches and the like...Oh what great prison for a lich ya can't find a way to kill
I pity the rogue that has to fight this! And that!
This... this is so ridiculous it crosses way, way over into awesome. Clark nailed it- "Evil tootsie pop".
I don't know what else to say; there is nothing about this that I don't like. I even read it twice to make sure. My only thought is that it seems to me that an intelligent undead would be more inclined to smugly thank or negotiate with his liberators, possibly divulging helpful information about the BBEG who imprisoned him. But that's hardly a drawback.
An impeccable submission from the architect of the Batraichan Helm. You're marking yourself as a real contender awfully early here, Mr. McGee. Way to go!
If only we had 8 votes, not four. Or even if I didn't have to vote for myself! Seriously, this was the first monster I read that really grabbed me, and I hope to see you next round.
This is easily my favorite creature this far. It takes the dangerous video game approach of 'multi-stage bosses' and transforms it into a creature without being cheesy. THAT is superstar quality. Promises tons of fun. Still, a template would be better, all things considered.
I hope you will advance to the next round. You've definitely got my vote. :)
The second monster I get to already is a hard one.
I really want to love this neat little creation.
It has both creativity ( does something new) and tilt ( makes me want to use it now / makes me imagine plots using these) and not just a bit but lots of it. I already have 5 to 10 great and vastly different applications for these in mind, and i want to try nearly all of them.
But something is telling me I shouldn't love it too much.
Perhaps its because it is not innovative enough. ( am I really saying this? this is freakishly innovative!)
One might argue that this is just mashing 2 monsters together and trying to sell it as a new one. But I don't think so. The golem is the monster. and it is unlike any golem we have seen before. It just happens to have swallowed an undead surprise.
Necromantic golems are not an entirely new concept. but with alone 5 Monster manuals for core dnd and countless 3rd party products and other books featuring monsters finding a really empty spot is a really tricky prospect.
So what is it i don't like. I can't really put my finger on it and that drives me crazy.
One think I know I would have loved to see differently is the general shape of the golem. Stone doesn't do it for me. right here I want something more organic, warmer, more fit to contain something. More in need of runes and protective magic to really imprison anything.
I think I would have digged Clay or pottery.
Make the golem seem somewhat fragile. I want to give the playes fighting it hints that the golem is hollow and that it might hold a nasty surprise. Maybe they can smash a hole in its belly, only to be greeted with udead claws, trying to to free themselfs from their prison.
I would have loved to see some self- healing powers on the golem. While unusual for this creature type i think it fits the theme. it must be able to restrain its prisoner even if assaulted or damaged.
With pottery I can see this self healing. With stone? Not so much.
But that hardly is a reason to dislike this.
Maybe I don't like, that the base creature doesn't do much except carrying its prisoner around. Yeah, it has eye rays and death throes and can unleash negative energy at creatures striking it. but something is missing. Maybe its the self healing part. maybe i want a really new power. maybe I just want more, because I see these things as fairly high midlevel to low highlevel encounters.
But every concern I have isn't enough not to love this great creation that gave me some new plot ideas on the fly.
Being the second monster I read I'm still very picky with my votes and I think this one will likely make it's way even without my support, because you are a definite keeper.
So I will consider you for a vote, but I have to see some more monsters to really make up my mind about this.
Well done Sir!
It takes the dangerous video game approach of 'multi-stage bosses' and transforms it into a creature without being cheesy. THAT is superstar quality.
My thoughts precisely- this takes a common rule-of-fun conceit and frames it in way that makes flawless in-world sense.
I will so be using this.
There's a guy in my group (which is 3.5e) who's got one of those crystals that lets him crit constructs. So he's always like "yeah, whatever, constructs, woo."
heheheheh
I really enjoyed this submission...by far...I enjoy the one-two punch in general, but this brings it into a whole new light for me.
I think Matthew is definitely one of the better contenders this round, and his monster has my vote. With the eye rays, and the negative feed back abilities this takes the Golem to a level that I enjoy as a DM and as a player...
The innovation to me is that he took something old...brought it back to life for me...then he kicked it up a few notches and just made it better and more useful...innovative new ideas is what this round is suppose to be about and I think he hit it right on the head with this one.
I like the ossuary golem. It's probably not going to get any of my votes, but I like it. It just doesn't jump out at me and say "You must use me in an adventure. Do it now!" Several of the competing entries did that.
That said, the ossuary golem deserves a place in a bestiary. It is decidedly more interesting than most golems (most golems being distinguished only by the material they're made out of). This monster can fit into a campaign in a variety of ways. It's an appropriate encounter for an ancient tomb, a necromancer's or artificer's lair, a major church of just about any alignment, planar cities, etc. This is a very useful monster that could find its way into just about any adventure in the appropriate level range (whatever that ends up being).
You know, the ossuary golem is growing on me as I think about it. It's not a monster that screams at me to use it now, or design an adventure around it. However, it does say "It's cool. You don't have to use me now, but come back when you need a cool encounter to slot into your campaign. I'll be waiting."
This is definitely top 16 material. I don't know if I can give you one of my precious four votes, but I hope you advance.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
aka Tarren Dei
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I like this a lot. I'm a bit put off on an 'ossuary' not having bones in it but no one else seems to mind.
I kinda like this. I think you're scope is too wide, though. Maybe going with just one type of undead and hinting at the existance of others? I don't know. I am curious at the execution, so I hope you go on to the next round.
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I like this a lot. I'm a bit put off on an 'ossuary' not having bones in it but no one else seems to mind.
I'm right there with you.
I'm wondering if being trapped inside the golem would have some sort of weakening effect on the undead. I mean, is there anyway they can free themselves (especially if their CR is much higher than that of the golem itself)? Plus, it could make the surprise fight at the end a mite easier, if that needs to happen.
Also, I'm wondering if there is any way to defeat this thing without killing it. I'm guessing the intelligent PC figures out there might be a reason not to destroy it completely.
This is excellent. Truly well done. I'm sure you'll make to the next round. congrats.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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An ossuary golem's appearance varies by culture, but it is usually sculpted as a 7-foot-tall stone humanoid with a head carved in the shape of a skull...When I read the name, I thought for sure it would have been built out of bones, like that really cool ossuary somewhere in Eastern Europe.
Very nice!
That'd be this place, also described here.
I really dig the monster. I think the prose and organization are good and the monster's powers are thematic, though you do face a difficult task in organizing how its powers actually work, and in particular whether the level of power of the undead trapped inside is relevant to the golem's powers (does one with a trapped spectre drain 2 levels and with a trapped wight drain 1 and with a wraith drain Con or whatever). I think it would be far easier to simply have it have a default set of powers like a half-fiend or half-celestial that are based on the power of the trapped undead; after all, it's not so much channeling the energies of the trapped undead as converting them for its own use.
Another interesting angle is whether the trapped undead is just trapped or is actually consumed by the golem.
Would a trapped undead go berserk and attack anyone nearby when it got out, or would it be happy and just try to flee as fast as it could, or perhaps try to bargain with those who freed it? That's the fly in the ointment of the "evil tootsie pop" concept of the monster - the chocolaty center was probably not too happy at the candy coating, and wouldn't necessarily have any beef with the people who took the "a-one, a-two, a-three... CRUNCH... a-three" and let them out. Unless the released undead is somehow forced to fight, I'm not sure the golem actually delivers on the two-for-one deal that it promises. "Because the undead are EEEEVIL" isn't enough of a reason, since any undead worth being trapped inside a golem costing tens of thousands of GP is going to be an intelligent villain-grade undead, not some hungry brain-muncher.
Overall: I love the idea, the description and organization are good, it's got a nice visual (though I would've gone for NOT a skull nor anything particularly suggesting death as a motif; it could look no different from an ordinary stone golem really)... but it has some rather fundamental ambiguities on (a) how its powers relate to the trapped undead, if at all, and (b) whether the trapped undead is actually intended to be a double-whammy encounter, and if so WHY, when it has just been freed from what one would presume to be an involuntary imprisonment.
All that said, I still really like it. My initial reaction was LOVE IT, but the more I thought about it the more I wasn't quite so sure. You're on the edge for a vote; I'll have to see what the rest of the entries say to me.
A golem with frickin' laser beams and radiation leaks... the relevant combo for me is sci fi and high fantasy, not golems and undead. It's essentially a mecha on auto-pilot. The amount of technology that I want in my DnD basically tops out at pistols.
I'm just not enthralled with this creature, which feels like a cheat to me. You beat the golem, which is hard, and the reward is a level draining creature? Cue groans around the table. At least the players of mages will have something to do and the resources to do it with, as wizards pretty much go hide during golem encounters.
And do you really want to build a golem servitor that will loose an extremely peeved intelligent undead being? So, now you've got two opponents hunting your BBEG down. Given the expense of making a golem in the first place, I just don't see high level casters bothering with making them.
Clearly, I'm in the minority here, so congratulations and good luck!
Ossuary Golem
This is one nasty, hulking pile of evil jack-in-a-box. Very, very nice.
Vote-worthy.
A golem with frickin' laser beams and radiation leaks... the relevant combo for me is sci fi and high fantasy, not golems and undead. It's essentially a mecha on auto-pilot. The amount of technology that I want in my DnD basically tops out at pistols.
I'm just not enthralled with this creature, which feels like a cheat to me. You beat the golem, which is hard, and the reward is a level draining creature? Cue groans around the table. At least the players of mages will have something to do and the resources to do it with, as wizards pretty much go hide during golem encounters.
And do you really want to build a golem servitor that will loose an extremely peeved intelligent undead being? So, now you've got two opponents hunting your BBEG down. Given the expense of making a golem in the first place, I just don't see high level casters bothering with making them.
Clearly, I'm in the minority here, so congratulations and good luck!
Roguerogue has summed up my feelings fairly well.
Also Matthew, I noticed you're not posting. As of right now you have three posts. Two of them are your actual entries and one of them is asking for a confirmation that your entry was received. That's not against the rules, however it would be cool to see you actually fully participate in the contest. Where and when you can, of course.
Congratulations and best of luck!
Praise:
An interesting item-as-monster concept. I could see this as a funny trap for PCs searching a good clerics crypt for something. Uh-oh, there's a guardian, kill it! Out comes the super-vampire, and the real adventure begins.
Concerns:
That said, this really does just seem like an item, a monster container. The extra monster could really frustrate some parties. I don't see why a necromancer wouldn't just infuse a golem with necromantic energy and send him on his way. The extra undead inside seems extraneous.
Overall:
Again, this seems like an item more than a real monster. I can see the potential: party breaks into good cleric's tomb. party finds guardian. party kills guardian. party unleashes uber-vampire and holy hell upon the earth. It is, however a very niche monster/item, and I can't see using it as more than a set piece.
Comments will come when I can, well....comment! ;)
I hope everyone enjoys the Ossuary Golem - vote for it if you like it! - and I'll be happy to take questions next week.
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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Matthew, nice job.
I think the various concerns voiced about the different monsters trapped within the golem are unfounded. The strength of the sepulchral rider doesn't seem to influence the power of the golem, so it should be simple to provide a good CR for the construct.
People are confusing CR with, for lack of a more contemporary term, Encounter Level. Imagine an encounter teaming the golem with, say, a mummy, and write the encounter so that the mummy enters the room on the round the golem falls apart.
Idle question, because I know you can't reply: are the walls of a Ossuary Golem thick enough to block divination-type spells, or does the golem register on detect undead?