"I am like.....sooooooo drunk!"
You look just like my sister.
Mait?
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
|
Mait?
Take your pick:
MAIT Manufacturers' Association for Information Technology (India)
MAIT Multidisciplinary Accident Investigation Team (CHP Investigative team assigned to multi-fatality or complex collisions)
MAIT Major Accident Investigation Team
MAIT Maintenance Assistance & Instruction Team
MAIT Martial Arts Instructor/Trainer (US DoD)
MAIT McCabe's Artificially Intelligent Tipper (sports tipping system)
MAIT Mission Area Integration Team
MAIT Major Area Integration Team
MAIT Maharaja Agresen Institute of Technology
How much?
Well, you're going to go hungry looking for brains around here...
I am a gynecologist, [insert perverse following statement here]
Helloooooooo, Nurse!
If you were homework, I'd throw you on the table and do you right now.
Get in the truck...ie the redneck mating call
Yo babe ya want some junk in yo trunk.
"Hey, short-stuff. Do you have a little dwarf in ya? ... No? ... Would you like one?"
Me Bubba, you mine!
Wanna see how big my trunk can get?
So, do you wanna?
Depending on the kind of tryst you're looking for...
"Excuse me, can you give me directions to the Calistra Temple? Better yet, can you show me?" *cracks whip*
"Excuse me, can you give me directions to the Zon-Kuthon Temple? Better yet, can you show me?" *puts on spiked collar and hands them the chain leash*
"Are you a priest(priestess)? Cause I need your healing touch!"
"Are you a priest(priestess)? Is this suppose to be like this?"
"Giggity-giggity."
I'm one of those horrible men that judges women by the most shallow criteria. Don't ever try to judge a woman or anybody by asking them their top three records, their top five foreign films of all time... That's that High Fidelity stupid list s!$~ that some guys do. And I can't be alone, there has to be at least one moron in here who does that with women...
And every once in a while, I find the girl, we're on a date, I'm driving down the road, and I'm all do not ask, do not ask, don't do the list thing, just have a nice conversation, become interested, find something interesting to talk about, that we can both talk about, don't dominate the conversation, don't spin the conversation, c'mon, be *open*, be *available*...
I'm driving, I'm driving, my will is breaking down, and finally, it's like, f~%$ it, I really need to know.
"So what are the three CDs in your changer right now?"
"Well... I'm really listening to the new Nickelback..."
...
""I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don't know, and make me laugh. I don't care what you look like, just turn me on, and if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow... I will nibble your ears with my own teeth... I will do your windows... I will care about your feelings... just have something in there...
I want one of them readers, that's what I want. I want a reader. And so you go out with a girl, and you're driving,
"So what are you reading right now," and all too often,
"Well... I'm not much of a reader..."
""
So what do you ladies think about the subject of pre-marital sex?
(Directed to some friends of mine at a bar.)
You look just like my sister.That only works in West Virginia.
I take that personally. You meant to say "That only works in Texas." (Note original poster was "Dub'Ya.")
I personally recommend, "If now isn't a good time for you, I can try back when it's a better time." This actually worked and I got a date a few weeks later when she had initially said "no."
A friend of mine first said this to his future-wife when we met her in a club. Cleaned up for the forum.
"Tell you what. I can take you out to dinner, wine and dine you, spend alot of money on you, or we can just head back to my place and 'f' like there is no tomorrow. What do you say?"
They left and are due to be married in 2011.
So what do you ladies think about the subject of pre-marital sex?
(Directed to some friends of mine at a bar.)
I like that one.
|
You look just like my sister.That only works in West Virginia.I take that personally. You meant to say "That only works in Texas." (Note original poster was "Dub'Ya.")
I personally recommend, "If now isn't a good time for you, I can try back when it's a better time." This actually worked and I got a date a few weeks later when she had initially said "no."
Ah come on, you know what they say about Virginia, okay so technically it's West Virginia.
NSFW
I like that one.
It is important to note that neither of them went home with him that night. :P
|
I'm one of those horrible men that judges women by the most shallow criteria. Don't ever try to judge a woman or anybody by asking them their top three records, their top five foreign films of all time... That's that High Fidelity stupid list s~#! that some guys do. And I can't be alone, there has to be at least one moron in here who does that with women...
And every once in a while, I find the girl, we're on a date, I'm driving down the road, and I'm all do not ask, do not ask, don't do the list thing, just have a nice conversation, become interested, find something interesting to talk about, that we can both talk about, don't dominate the conversation, don't spin the conversation, c'mon, be *open*, be *available*...
I'm driving, I'm driving, my will is breaking down, and finally, it's like, f~%# it, I really need to know.
"So what are the three CDs in your changer right now?"
"Well... I'm really listening to the new Nickelback..."
...
""I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don't know, and make me laugh. I don't care what you look like, just turn me on, and if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow... I will nibble your ears with my own teeth... I will do your windows... I will care about your feelings... just have something in there...
Funny, I just check if they have nice knockers. Does that make me deep, then?
I've heard if you open with the line, "Hello I'm Sean K Reynolds" that it works wonders in the convention circuit.
Personally I find that if I quietly sit at the corner of bar and gently lick my eyebrows with my tounge, the ladies always seem interested.
Personally I find that if I quietly sit at the corner of bar and gently lick my eyebrows with my tounge, the ladies always seem interested.
I think the attention that you are receiving is more likely a cross between something like abject terror and morbid curiosity.
I am a gynecologist, [insert perverse following statement here]
Isn't that "I'm not a gynecologist, but I can take a look."
Helloooooooo, Nurse!
Hey Roger, long time no see.
(That's not a pickup line, by the way)
I usually go with "Hi, I'm me!" And they just jump me.
Another good one is "Your hair smells nice."
IMPORTANT: Don't do this if you're a halfling/gnome and she's a human. Restraining order/smite time!
So you're looking for stuff that might work? Because I hear "Hello" has the best chance of success.
Other than that, try one of these:
|
|
I've heard if you open with the line, "Hello I'm Sean K Reynolds" that it works wonders in the convention circuit.
Personally I find that if I quietly sit at the corner of bar and gently lick my eyebrows with my tounge, the ladies always seem interested.
Next time dont stand so close to Reynolds...he's the black hole of Conventionalism.