Since elves worship Callistria, I'd be surprised if any sexual pun could actually embarass them. So I'd go with this one :
Valeros : "Relax, I took my Imodium."
- Zorg
"Yeah, the water's gone cold, but I haven't gotten to the part where I saved everybody!"
"I said you always have to watch out for TENTACLES in the water!"Two thumbs up for this one! :-)
Two thumbs up for your sense of humor!
Kyra: "Prepare for Battle!"
Valeros: "Whoa, I didn't know you two liked it that way. Bring it on!"
"Wait! Come back. I assure you the entrance to the dungeon is down here. Keep groping for the lever to the secret door and I'll look out for any monsters."
"Don't tell me you don't know the expression 'Prepare to drink from the firehose'!"
Perception check anyone?
Or
And thus a shining example of how the rogue is the only one that gets perception as a class skill
"Come on! All I said was, 'Our mage is asleep, and we're all naked and unarmed; what a perfect time for an ambush.' How was I to know Little Miss Gotta-Get-My-Daggers would freak out?"
Valeros' secret identity is revealed when his wonder twin power de-activates.
"...but it could have been a baby aboleth..."
Valeros to Merisiel: "I'll show you my Python Rod if you show me your Maw of Urgathoa."
Later in the same paragraph: "It grows to become a giant... snake."
Oops! Editing my spoiler...
Valeros to Merisiel: "I'll show you my Python Rod if you show me your Maw of Urgathoa."
Later in the same paragraph: "It grows to become a giant... snake.
Yeah....there are some awesome ones on here! Its really hard to make sure you stay on the right side of PG-13.
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That fine line between innuendo and filth…
I must say though, whilst some of the fart and sex jokes are hilarious (which probably just reflects on my low brow sense of humour), I really enjoy some of the ones that focus on the less obvious elements in the pic (the assassin, or Ezran sleeping) or meta-game type humour.
I don’t know how the Paizo crew are going to pick a clear winner for this.
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That fine line between innuendo and filth…
I must say though, whilst some of the fart and sex jokes are hilarious (which probably just reflects on my low brow sense of humour), I really enjoy some of the ones that focus on the less obvious elements in the pic (the assassin, or Ezran sleeping) or meta-game type humour.
I don’t know how the Paizo crew are going to pick a clear winner for this.
I hope there isn't a clear winner. Most of these are great, some are sheer dynamite. I hope its hard to pick a winner! :p
OK, scrap my last caption. It's too pervy to win anyway. Try this one:
"Sweet savored sting of Calistria! I only came in here from the kitchen to wash off my Ginsu!"
Ah, screw it! Go ahead and disqualify me for having too many entries! I'm having too much fun with this now...
Valeros: "What!?"
Kyra: "I said ook-lay ehind-bay ou-yay!"
Valeros "I don't speak Kelish!"
Kyra: *grumble*
Ezren's thoughts: "Oh sure! Leave out the old man! I saw the assassin walk in. I'm just gonna keep feigning sleep until it's all over. They'll survive, but it'll teach 'em a lesson! Damn whippersnappers!"
Valeros: "Geez, Kyra! Have a cow! How the hell was I supposed to know Meri and I were skinny-dipping in a baptismal font?"
Kyra: "It's not me you have to worry about. It's the temple guard."
Valeros: "Don't you mean 'guards'?"
Kyra: "Um... yeah, whatever."
(the assassin, or Ezran sleeping)
Huh? Is there a new pic up? No, still the same old. Only nekkid female iconics, no assassin or Ezran. You can make out Valeros if you look really hard, though. Anyone else noticed that?
"Come on, it was your idea to pool our resources."
"Why the rush? Lem's still not done with our laundry, anyway."
Valeros was hoping to get a poke in the baths. Unfortunately for him, he got one.
Valeros: What? All I did was ask Meri how many pizzas she had on Erik Mona day...
Valeros : "Woha !!! I think I've finally made a perception check !!!"
Assassin, for himself : "Too bad, I think you've just failed a more important perception check !!"
Assassin: "It's never easy studying your opponents for 3 rounds. But this takes the cake. Sweet, soft, cake...Curses! I have to start over."
Valeros: Uh... waitasec... what else did you say Calistria was the goddess of?
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Despite his claims, Kyra and Merisiel had serious doubts concerning Valeros' recent conversion to the worship of Shelyn.
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Valeros would never again ask Amiri for dating advice.
Valeros: "Mutilated?!! Whaddaya mean there ain't no such thing as an Elven mohel?"
Valeros:
“But I can assure you ladies, this was exactly how Gary G and I made Philters of Love back in first edition.”
"No, really, a guy named Jason said we should playtest everything!!!
Later, Valeros would contact the Jason guy, voicing his disatisfaction with Pathfinder's rules for seduction.
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Valeros: "Will you two relax! The Paizo people assured me this picture is simply for the sake of art. No one is ever actually going to see it."
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For weeks, Sajan had suffered the jibes and taunts of the other. However, by not inviting him to the pool party, they had gone too far.
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Assassin: "Okay... remember what they taught you in assassin school. A master assassin focuses soley on his target and ignores all distra... SWEET AUNT FANNY!!! LOOK AT THAT!!!!"
"Ok ok, so I guess elves really *don't* have tails..."
I realy like that one but i'd give it to Kyra to better fit the dynamics of the picture, something like:
Kyra: "Valeros! You knew elves don't have tails!"
Kyra: It's a trap!
Waits for people to get it...
I get it....twice. To which are you referring?
Ah HA! The carpet doesn't match the drapes! I knew it!
That would certainly explain her eyebrows.
Its a slow day at work so.....
Valeros: "Loofa?!?!? I thought you said two-fer!"
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Valeros [later that same day]: "Bath house? What bath house? After we got done shopping, Lem said he wanted to try out his new Hat of Disguise so I went back to the inn. I don't know anything about a bath house."
Kyra: Linnorm......... More like Earthworm!