Ssyth'ek, He Who Devours Demons
Unique male half-fiend lizardfolk fighter 4/holy warrior cleric 7
Description: Born of the unholy union between between the tribe's former shaman and a hulking hezrou, Ssyth'ek rules over the Scything Claw tribe of lizardfolk with absolute impunity. Clearly different than other “standard” half-fiends, Ssyth'ek stands over nine feet tall, wingless, and able to exude a poisonous musk from his warty, gray skin. He stares out over his people with small eyes set forward and high upon his head, giving him more of a toad-like appearance then that of a lizard. He shows his wrath plainly, bloating and puffing up when angered, with beads of dark green poison flowing from his skin like sweat.
Clad in armor made from the scales of an immense black dragon that recently opposed his tribe, Ssyth'ek strides into battle using his claws and teeth as his favored weapons, reserving his Abyss-borne magic to gird himself before battle, but unleashing the remainder at his fleeing opponents. Despite his savage upbringing and demon-tainted blood, Ssyth'ek has a mind for strategy beyond pure barbarism, drawing enemies into traps and turning minor skirmishes into running battles with his swamp-skimmers and their monstrous crocodilian companions. His reptilian nature is decidedly evident in his cunning strategies; slow and sluggish to the casual observer, but snapping tight in sudden, vicious maneuvers.
Motivations/Goals: Ssyth'ek is a canny and ruthless leader who is no longer satisfied with the simple dominion of the surrounding swampland. He desires nothing more than to become an unstoppable, demigod-like being.
Schemes/Plots: When he assumed power, Ssyth'ek's first decree forbid the practice of the druidic faith, turning instead to a dark, primal power that answered the ruler's guttural prayers and bloody sacrifices. With the blessing of this mysterious abyssal patron, Ssyth'ek's priestesses uncovered an ancient and dark ritual that allows an idolater to feed upon the soul-essence of evil outsiders and grow in power. Using this ritual, Ssyth'ek called and consumed dretches, babaus, a vrock, and most recently a rank-and-file hezrou. Bolstered by this string of successes, Ssyth'ek plans now to call his own father, the massive hezrou Gragrorrp, so that he may devour him. Should he also succeed in this, Ssyth'ek will cease to be a mortal creature, transforming into a full-blooded demon. All that is needed are the right astral alignments, and the dark ceremony can begin.
Adventure Hook: The ritual to summon Gragrorrp is still beyond the abilities of Ssyth'ek, though fortune seems to favor the fiendish chieftain as his scouts have brought word of a human bearing the mark of a summoner that travels the tribe's estuaries. Pavius Alvonar, a Chelaxian devil-binder, is traveling through the area on a mission for his house and might employ the PCs as bodyguards for the long trek. Alternatively, the PCs may learn about the wizard's kidnapping, especially if any have ties to Cheliax, and be dispatched to rescue him.
He's a big fish in a small pond that want's to be a bigger fish in that small pond. He's a good antagonist for PCs engaged in swampy adventures, but I don't see him being proactive in his plots against the PCs (other than "kill the intruders!"), and thus isn't quite villainous enough for the Superstar competition.
Rec: do not advance.
Initial Impression: Half-fiend holy warrior lizardman (I’m old school) who devours demons? OK, I’ll bite. Let’s see whatcha got. Is he good or bad—holy warrior/demon devourer? I have questions.
Word Count: 485.
Concept (name, title, is it actually a villain?, overall design choices, playability): B-
The Good: Pretty visual setup of the background that is strong. Good creation info. Grim. This guy could be a good villain. He wants to expand his dominance. That is good. That’s what villains do. They don’t just sit in their swamp waiting for good guys to stumble in.
The Bad: I don’t know you really found your concept there, though. What does he want to do exactly?
Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, quality of mandatory content-physical description, motivation/goal, scheme/plot, presence of any disqualification criteria): C
The Good: Strong backstory.
The Bad: Ugh, the motivations section is way too short. And that is a key part. The brevity of that section is one of the things that leads me to believe you didn’t really find the motivation of your villain, rather than that you just failed to write it. Then your schemes/plots section is just more of the backstory. Yes, it’s a good backstory, but you need to know what to spell out and what to tease with. You needed to do a better job managing the limited words you were given. You spent yours all on backstory and that is a bad choice. It leaves me not knowing exactly what he is doing NOW, which is when the PCs will encounter him.
Tilt (did it grab me?, is it unique and cool?, do I like it?, flavor and setting): C-
I just don’t think you spent enough time on this. This smacks of a first draft. I don’t think you found the core of this villain and it shows.
Overall: C
A well-detailed backstory on a villain that could have been interesting, but wasn’t fleshed out properly, plus a submission hamstrung by poor use of the allotted word count.
Recommendation: I DO NOT recommend this villain submission for advancement.
From the guy who brought us the temporal bracers, which I loved! I wish you luck and hope the voters see it differently than I did!
Kobold Press
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From the first line "Unique male half-fiend lizardfolk fighter 4/holy warrior cleric 7" I was a little worried.
This is a complex monster, but an overly simple villain. He doesn't want much beyond power, and there's not a lot of roleplaying hooks for the DM to get a handle on him.
Worse, the language used to describe him is a thicket of backstory and physical description, without a matching level of detail for motive and character. The editor in me wants to take every sentence apart and rebuild it. The designer in me is wondering whether it is worth it for a monster with pretensions to power.
I'd be happy to have this as a boss monster in a swamp adventure. As a major villain, I'm just not seeing the potential beyond basic mayhem.
Recommendation: Not quite superstar stuff. Not recommended.
I have to most humbly and respectfully disagree with the judges. This entry was my favorite and was the one I was most excited to vote for. A lizardfolk who summons and then EATS DEMONS!? Heck yeah! I voted for Ssyth'ek.
Seems like a lot of the entries were hamstrung by the wordcount, this one included. Super-strong imagery at the beginning gets my vote anyway, just because I can see him so vividly just tearing into a party of NPCs who'll expect brute strength from someone who looks like that, but might be surprised that he has brains, too.
I guess it's hard to balance where to put the words when the contest rules don't really tell you what the judges will want emphasized (seems like a lot of the entries, the judges would have preferred less villain description/backstory and more future plot). But hey, when you're inspired, you're inspired, and I totally want to run swamp plot now :) Makes me think if the PCs thwart his plan to consume his father, he'd be back and vengeful in a mean way later...
My score: b-. He's a looker, but a lot is left up to the individual DM to figure out (which is something I love doing, so that might be my bias right there).
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I have to most humbly and respectfully disagree with the judges. This entry was my favorite and was the one I was most excited to vote for. A lizardfolk who summons and then EATS DEMONS!? Heck yeah! I voted for Ssyth'ek.
Yeah, I like it too.
I thought the "motivation and goals" could have used a little more uumph, but then again so could my own motivation and goals, so I really just need to shut up.|
Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Reckless Ratings
Concept3
(Is this villain villainous?)
Content2
(Grammar, Format,Spelling, Etc.)
Coolness2
(Would my players be impressed by this? Am I?)
Credibility3
(Does the villain’s motives make sense?)
Clarity2
(How good a sense of how to stat this villain do we get?)
Scores out of 5 and completely based on my opinion only.
Total Score12
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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My score: b-. He's a looker, but a lot is left up to the individual DM to figure out (which is something I love doing, so that might be my bias right there).
This really sums up my feelings on this guy. I like him, he's a great boss monster at the end of this slice of adventure, but I don't know enough about what he's doing NOW and what he WANTS to do in the future, other than eat his dad and become more powerful. And then what?
Great descriptive text and a fun guy to run as the DM, but I'm not feeling it so far.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I wish I could expand on all of what I wanted to put in, but that'll have to wait until after the votes are counted. This has been a great experience thus far, and even if I don't advance, this has been nothing but awesome. Thanks to all you Paizo guys and gals for making this happen.
EDIT: Heh, this sounds like an acceptance speech more than anything else. I guess that's what happens when you're nervous and tend to ramble...
I like this guy ... lots of questions that need answered, but there's something there. Unique, definitely, but is that necessary to tell us? And holy warrior cleric ... am I missing something? I searched the SRD and couldn't find Holy Warrior except connected to a pally. Hmmm ...
But with what I liked about Bricius (who is working with Lizardfolk) and this dude, I could sooo use the pair of them as tag team villains in a series of adventures running the players ragged.
I too was confused as to what a "holy warrior cleric" is...
EDIT: Also, I fail to see how he's really that much of a threatening villain... except maybe to demons. His only evil schemes involve him eating fiends.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I too was confused as to what a "holy warrior cleric" is...
The answer to this is that "holy warrior" cleric is an optional class ability swap described in the Pathfinder Campaign Setting (p. 43):
"A cleric with this ability is proficient with her deity's favored weapon. In addition, her base attack bonus as a cleric equals her cleric level, and her cleric hit die becomes a d10.
Taking the above ability requires a cleric to give up both of her domains, including her domain powers."
EDIT: Also, I fail to see how he's really that much of a threatening villain... except maybe to demons. His only evil schemes involve him eating fiends.
The implicit idea is that, once he's eaten enough demons, he will become Big Poppa the Show-Stoppa the SOOPA-DEMON... and *THEN* he'll start laying the hurt on all the petty mortals nearby who didn't stop him when he was just a pseudo-demon.
I too was confused as to what a "holy warrior cleric" is...The answer to this is that "holy warrior" cleric is an optional class ability swap described in the Pathfinder Campaign Setting (p. 43):
"A cleric with this ability is proficient with her deity's favored weapon. In addition, her base attack bonus as a cleric equals her cleric level, and her cleric hit die becomes a d10.
Taking the above ability requires a cleric to give up both of her domains, including her domain powers."
Thank you for posting that :) It was bugging the heck out of me, as I had that feeling I had read it in the not too distant past (but when you've been playing this game for 30 years, a LOT starts to feel familiar).
I love the concept here, and I think the writing is quite good. The only thing I'm missing is more of an idea as to how to draw the PCs into conflict with Ssyth'ek. It goes against my previous posts on other villains, but I like this one enough that I wouldn't mind hashing it out a bit more as to how to draw the PCs in. Fortunately, he's clearly evil enough that there's a lot of motivation for do-gooder PCs to act -- it's simply a matter of getting them into the same area as Ssyth'ek. Well done.
CR
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8
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So close. You almost had me here. I'm a sucker for non human bad guys, demons, vampires, medusa, and werewolves. So a lizardman is on the list.
Unique powers, good description of what he has and can do. But somewhere it fell short. I really did enjoy the visuals though.
So close. You almost had me here. I'm a sucker for non human bad guys, demons, vampires, medusa, and werewolves. So a lizardman is on the list.
Unique powers, good description of what he has and can do. But somewhere it fell short. I really did enjoy the visuals though.
Thanks. Word count is a frak sometimes, but now I know what I need to do for the next rounds.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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Sighs. The boards ate my comments, trying again:
I've had a soft spot for scaly folks since Orlane and the Cult of the Reptile Gods. I like the demon-eating, and I like the attention to detail shown in referring to him *calling* rather than *summoning* demons, since summoning wouldn't really work. Heck, even Josh got the distinction wrong in his comments, and he's a pro :)
His long-term agenda falls short for me. I'd like to see more on the plate than just conquest and becoming more powerful. As it is, he's coming across as more of an interesting one-shot foe than a long-term threat.
It'd be nice if the half-fiend template gave you a menu, of which wings were one option. This is far from the first (or last) half-fiend for which wings would be inappropriate (otyugh, I'm looking at you!), and I'm glad you took them off. Especially considering the parent doesn't have wings.
Good job on this entry. It takes a lot to get me to like something once I see half-anything (other than orc or elf) in the race line. In my "maybe" vote pile.
In another thread, Jason Nelson wrote the following:
If there is one thing the judges hammered home in the comments on last year's entries in the villain around, it was the nature of a villain:
1. Not be one-dimensional
2. Not be a one-shot antagonist
3. Be proactive - the villain is DOING something, and ideally something of consequence
4. Have plans and goals, and methods for achieving them.
I see this villain, and the other three I voted for, as fulfilling most of these points.
One-dimensional ... nope. As the author himself said, unique :)
One-shot ... possible, but unlikely. Summoning baddies, taking over the lands around the swamp and then moving outward, he'll be around for awhile
Proactive ... definitely! Eatting demons is pretty proactive, as is wanting to take over. He'll butt heads with the PCs.
Plans and goals and methods to do 'em ... definitely.
Three out of four with a good idea of how to play this character. This is why Ssyth'ek has my vote.
This guy has 42 seconds to defeat and eat the demons he summons. He's got 1 minute and 24 seconds if he's extending a lower level spell.
I'm guessing he's got no table manners.
You should have had this guy eat PARTS of these demons thinking that he's acquiring specific powers by eating those particular emblematic parts.
I liked this one. He's interesting. He's got...panache. But the description was a little sloppy and there were other entries that grabbed me more. Regretfully, I didn't vote for him, but I really hope that this one gets enough votes to move on.
Why do lizardguys always have names that hiss?
OK, this is cool. I like the devouring. His conquest motivations seem a bit too human however. I think reptilian-demon creatures would have either very alien motivations, or very base ones (like consumption). Summoning and eating demons works, but beyond that, I'm not convinced a discernible motivation is useful.
The hook is cool, but I have difficulty imagining a creature of hunger like this having the intelligence-gathering/organizational skills necessary to abduct that particular dude.
That being said, I'm casting a vote for this one.
This guy has 42 seconds to defeat and eat the demons he summons. He's got 1 minute and 24 seconds if he's extending a lower level spell.
I'm guessing he's got no table manners.
You should have had this guy eat PARTS of these demons thinking that he's acquiring specific powers by eating those particular emblematic parts.
...and I like the attention to detail shown in referring to him *calling* rather than *summoning* demons, since summoning wouldn't really work. Heck, even Josh got the distinction wrong in his comments, and he's a pro :)
That is all.
5/10
I like the demon eating angle, but other than that he's just like every other lizardfolk shaman with a bunch of swamp lizard minions waving their little spears as I hack through them.
"With the blessing of this mysterious abyssal patron, Ssyth'ek's priestesses uncovered an ancient and dark ritual that allows an idolater to feed upon the soul-essence of evil outsiders and grow in power. Using this ritual, Ssyth'ek called and consumed dretches, babaus, a vrock, and most recently a rank-and-file hezrou."
Okay. So he's calling them.
How?
If it's inside the rules that the contestant is supposed to play by, he and his priestesses have got to be using Planar Ally spells as a cleric. And I've got to wonder how that works because:
Few if any creatures will accept a task that seems suicidal (remember, a called creature actually dies when it is killed, unlike a summoned creature).
If he's using this ancient and dark ritual--which are not in the rules that EVERY other contestant had to design within--that works for home campaigns but not here. It's a strong reason to vote against this submission.
So. Tell me why I shouldn't call shenanigans on this submission on these grounds. 'Cause right now, I think it's unfair as unfair to vote for this submission as it would be to vote for one using restricted material in WotC's splat books.
So. Tell me why I shouldn't call shenanigans on this submission on these grounds. 'Cause right now, I think it's unfair as unfair to vote for this submission as it would be to vote for one using restricted material in WotC's splat books.
I honestly don't know which is more unbelievable: that you think you have any judicial authority to make that kind of a threat, or that you call out a person to defend himself when you know doing so could get him disqualified.
Truly despicable behavior.
By the way, Philip Snyder, I like your idea a lot. I think it's original and unique. I was really agonizing over my last vote - you just got it.
Hope to see you in the next round!
So. Tell me why I shouldn't call shenanigans on this submission on these grounds. 'Cause right now, I think it's unfair as unfair to vote for this submission as it would be to vote for one using restricted material in WotC's splat books.
I honestly don't know which is more unbelievable: that you think you have any judicial authority to make that kind of a threat, or that you call out a person to defend himself when you know doing so could get him disqualified.
Truly despicable behavior.
By the way, Philip Snyder, I like your idea a lot. I think it's original and unique. I was really agonizing over my last vote - you just got it.
Hope to see you in the next round!
I'm asking for someone to explain to me how this fits the contest rules. I'm certainly not a judge. Where else am I supposed to ask?
And, yes, it does bother me if it doesn't fit the contest rules. They apply to everyone equally.
Nor am I alone in this approach as some stated that they won't vote for Malgana because of the line "cannot be killed by conventional means". If that applies there, then how does it not apply here? Why should only Kevin Carter lose votes on this approach? And, for the record, I'll vote for Kevin Carter, despite that line.
You really need to learn how to talk to people.
So. Tell me why I shouldn't call shenanigans on this submission on these grounds. 'Cause right now, I think it's unfair as unfair to vote for this submission as it would be to vote for one using restricted material in WotC's splat books.
Actually, it's what I do for a living: give and receive criticism. I've been a teacher and a writer for 8 years. Thank you for your guidance on posting etiquette.
Roguerouge:
ALLOWED SOURCES:
Apart from your own original content, you are limited to using or referring to the following sources:
- Paizo's Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Beta Release, and officially released web enhancements to the Beta
- The 3.5 SRD as presented at d20srd.org
- Published content from Paizo's Pathfinder Chronicles campaign setting
- Content from the earlier round of this year's RPG Superstar contest (whether you created it or not)
- Content that is in the public domain (such as mythological references, etc.)
You may NOT use or refer to Open Game Content (or any other material) from other publishers.I don't know what the judges would say, but my thought would be 'pick your public domain/mythalogical source' for that ritual.
Thank you.
I'm not sure I buy that, however. What domain/mythical source are you referring to? Nothing's really springing to mind here other than typical summonings (SM spells) and bargainings (planar ally spells).
When I thought it was a summoning, I filed it under a rules goof and moved on. But if people are arguing that it's a cunning use of the calling rules, well, I'm not seeing it yet. It's still a rules goof, so far as I can see.
Edit: Additional info on why mechanics are relevant.
A judge was pretty harsh on Sartell for the armor proficiency. Meanwhile, individual posters were after Malgana for reasons already mentioned, and Veddic for the "sage" class, lack of a race, and possible CR 20 violations. I pointed out mechanics virtues for Derinogen and drawbacks for Bracht and Gale and voters found that to be relevant. I don't see why it's not relevant here, when people are arguing that rules-fu is a virtue to this submission.
And if you don't like an entry and don't want to vote for that entry, don't vote for it. ;)
True enough. This one's in the 6-10 range for me, which is why it's pretty crucial for me to understand if it fits in the rules of the contest. My top three are locked in, but I've been waffling like a madman on the fourth. I've changed that slot twice already.
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Actually, it's what I do for a living: give and receive criticism. I've been a teacher and a writer for 8 years. Thank you for your guidance on posting etiquette.You really need to learn how to talk to people.
So. Tell me why I shouldn't call shenanigans on this submission on these grounds. 'Cause right now, I think it's unfair as unfair to vote for this submission as it would be to vote for one using restricted material in WotC's splat books.
Case in point.
What Great American Novel did you write?
*crickets chirping*
Case in point.What Great American Novel did you write?
*crickets chirping*
If you want to find my published work, open a thread on the general forum and I'll post the three books I contributed chapters to that you can purchase from Amazon.com. I'd rather not clutter up the thread any more of this, unless you decide to respond to the substance of what I have to say. What you're doing--engaging in a fit of pique--is an off-topic issue.
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Rouge Rogue,
Just, you know, if you're skewering a guy's submission, have a little sympathy for the guy. This isn't academica. This isn't learned scholarly treatises time. This is LIZARD MAN WHO EATS DEMONS.
I can't disagree with the substance of your post because I'm pretty sure you're right.
The fact is, that there's thirty-two of these submission things, and reading negative criticism after negative criticism gets wearing. "Fit of pique" sounds too wussy for what it gives me frankly. And I know I'm not alone.
So, please, you're all edjymickated and all. I challenge you and all the other sent from on high critics to drop one damn iota of sympathy or respect or something into your next impending criticism. If not for my ass-hurt pride, then at least to help make this entire section a little less of a tortuous chore to read.
Everybody knows that the writing game is a dog-eat-dog world.
Rouge Rogue,
...and reading negative criticism after negative criticism gets wearing. ... I challenge you and all the other sent from on high critics to drop one damn iota of sympathy or respect or something into your next impending criticism.
And if you want to read my positive feedback to the authors I direct you to my posts in the following:
Varrush, Derinogen, Father Avon, Aelfric Dreamslayer, Gulga Cench, Malgana, and Paradigm.
Heck, in that thread for Paradigm, you quoted my supporting post. Later, you praised that others were vehemently AGAINST it as a sign of the submission's quality.
I really do think if you want to advocate for a particular kind of etiquette the place to do so is in the general forum for this contest. I'll be more than willing to talk about this issue there, if you really do think it's a culture of criticism thing. Or perhaps putting it forward for debate in the Guildhall of 32 for them to tell us how they are doing receiving criticism.
Charles:
Well, let's see what wikipedia turns up with cannibalism's entry, subsection, themes in mythology and religion:
* Often attributed to evil or extreme retribution
* Rakshasa, witches, and Greek gods cited
* associated with food shortages, and thus possibly common at man's origins
* plague, war, disasters, drought and forced cannibalism in the Congo
* babies and elderly often targeted, making the generation warfare angle make some sense
* The Aghoris eat the dead for eternal youth and spiritual benefits
* A New York Times writer gave a food review to a hunk of human flesh he ate, likening it to veal
Well, that's tangential. Let's try culture. Citations for eating demons included:
Digital Devil Saga (video game)
For power-ups or health: F.E.A.R. (video game), World of Warcraft's Forsaken, Fallout 3, The Book of the New Sun (book),
DnD references: aboleths and mindflayers (gain is knowledge, however, so not quite as relevant here)
Exocannibalism entry has a reference to "absorb vitality or other trait" of a community member, albeit not a demon.
None of this is really doing it for me, but then, I don't play WoW or Fallout. Perhaps it will do it for others.
I guess my final stance on this issue is that this "calling" thing is a minor rules-error to the submission (but certainly not a positive trait) and that the rules of the contest sort of stretch far enough to include the popular media references under the "etc." That's awfully close to the edge, though, and others have been dinged pretty hard for similar mechanical issues.
As for the OP: if you make it, you'll want to avoid the planar ally spells in your stat block or provide the spell or item that does get him these tasty demons. If you can manage it within the rules, that's pretty impressive. I'm guessing it's an item that I'm not thinking of... and I'll bet it's something from the Gluttony entries in Rise of the Runelords, isn't it?
As a side note: there's an hysterical rant/defense of cannibalism beginning with "You must love the people you eat. If you do not love them then the nutrients you get from them will go to waste and be used negatively." and ending with "All people are food; Cannibalism is human": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibalism_in_popular_culture
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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Giving your villain a new ritual (the entry suggests the ritual is what he's calling the outsiders with) is well within the contest rules - just like it is fine to make your entry a severed head, or an incorporeal creature carrying a solid object. Villains don't need to fit the SRD to the letter, they just need to not use non-SRD sources other than the writer's imagination (with some broad leeway for inspiration, of course). If there is in fact some D20 product that has such a ritual, that doesn't necessarily mean anything - as long as the variation of that idea isn't taken from that source.
Just my 2 coppers.