Create an imaginary alien threat to focus attention away from the economic crisis. Unfortunately due to the complete and total collapse of the economy the funds necessary to replicate the complicated alien craft will have long ago been spent on canned foods to stock my secret underground bunker. Couple that with the lack of qualified people (they already fled to Greenland to build a utopian society) to help engineer Alien Invasion 2009 as Fox news will dub it, I envision my plan crumbling like a bad prop in a jr. high school play. I'm tree number 3 and I'm shuffling off stage and can't stop myself from tumbling over the edge. I will then enter rehab and much like the most vaunted celebrities of our time, I desperately hope no one will remember the mockery I made of our proud nation's fiscal policy and hopefully the media will focus on me failing to wear underwear as I climb out of my limo instead of the looting, chaos, and anarchy pouring through the streets.
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Provoke Russia into invading one of the NATO allies that used to be part of the Warsaw Pact. Then as the economy picks up as a result of the war, I will fake a sex scandal which will be used to provide a smoke screen for the phony war. Then I will bomb Mexico, claiming they are supporting terrorists by making aspirin. Then everyone will claim I bombed Mexico to try and hide the sex scandal and my deception will be complete.
Provoke Russia into invading one of the NATO allies that used to be part of the Warsaw Pact. Then as the economy picks up as a result of the war, I will fake a sex scandal which will be used to provide a smoke screen for the phony war. Then I will bomb Mexico, claiming they are supporting terrorists by making aspirin. Then everyone will claim I bombed Mexico to try and hide the sex scandal and my deception will be complete.
Feels like the 90's all over again(LOL!).
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Worse case scenario comes to fruition: The $700 billion dollar bailout fails and the USA slips immediatly into recession (or worse). You and you alone have the only solution to make things better. What would you do as US President to save the USA and save the world from total failure?
uh...maybe it's 'cuz I'm just a simpleminded engineering student, but why does a downfall of the american economy automatically equal the total failure of the world? I'm not trying to start anything here, but from what I've read and seen, A lot, if not most countries have managed to have an economic system that is not dependent on each others. I have a feeling that if any country truly collapsed, while there would be shockwaves, it's not enough to automatically equal anyone else suffering...
Also, David's plan seems oddly feasible.
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Start a messianic cult that collapses under the weight of scandal and greed, but not before bringing down dozens of religious and political leaders with me, finally escaping to Paraguay (which has no extradition treaty with the US), where I've off-shore accounted my vast holdings, to live in exile in a heavily-fortified hilltop ranchero with several hundred of my most fanatically devoted nubile young and eager to please followers and the fleet of Rolls Royces they've bought for me with their lifes' savings.
There I will enjoy my ill-gotten booty. And by booty, yes, I mean booty. Lots of booty.
How will this make benefit glorious nation of Amerikastan? No idea. My plan, in it's entirety, goes thusly;
1. Start messianic cult.
2. ???
3. Profit!
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uh...maybe it's 'cuz I'm just a simpleminded engineering student, but why does a downfall of the american economy automatically equal the total failure of the world? I'm not trying to start anything here, but from what I've read and seen, A lot, if not most countries have managed to have an economic system that is not dependent on each others.
The simplest answer to your question is that because the American ecomnomy is the largest importer of consumer goods in the world, anything that causes the U.S. economy to tank is going to cause a big hit to other major global economies, particularly Japan and China. The reduced lack of demand for manufactured goods will then cause countries like China and Japan to stop ordering raw materials from countries like Canada, which will then have to find new markets for their resources or end up in a similar sitaution. Also, most of the global finance industry is located in the United States and has a lot of money tied up in the American economy.
Unfortunatly, at least in the industrialized world, the economies of the world are interconnected in a way that makes it difficult, if not impossible to avoid suffering a downturn whenever any other nation's economy starts to struggle. If we are on the verge of October 1929, which I seriously doubt, then we need to look at that for the answers to what can happen. Things were bad in the United States, they got even worse in places like Germany and Italy. Fear and hunger, coupled with charismatic nationalist leaders willing to create a strawman enemy are usually what drive people to tyranny, whether it is in Nazi Germany, or Caesarian Rome. Today it is Putin's Russia that is showing the early signs of imperial ambition and we are headed through the same cycle again. There is change in the wind, and unfortunately history has taught us that all too often the dusk of one superpower tends to see the dawning of a new, not quite as nice, world power.
Hmm... I would probably turn to my fellow Paizo messageborad users if in a predicament like this.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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1. Build a highly fortified military complex loaded with all the valuables, inebriating substances, entertainment-related products, and snack foods of the nation that can be swiftly and easily transported to such location.
2. Invite cronies, assorted eye-candy, cultists, and sycophantic soldiers.
3. Issue press release indicating that we have always been at war with Eurasia and that I am working on the problem (or something).
4. Throw a party that would make Nero look like Caesar.
Yeah...that sounds good.
Edit: Damnit. Set beat me to the bunch. And even had the foresight to set up his island of debauchery outside the jurisdiction of the U.S.
Edit2: Oh yeah. I forgot. Step 0 would be to give Texas back to Mexico and note certain individuals who should be detained due to criminal intent.
*cough* Daigle *cough* Heathy *cough*
Worse case scenario comes to fruition: The $700 billion dollar bailout fails and the USA slips immediatly into recession (or worse). You and you alone have the only solution to make things better. What would you do as US President to save the USA and save the world from total failure?
What would I do to save the US and the World from total failure?
Let it fail. Artificially propping up the market will only make the problem worse.
Oh, the other thing I would do is stop the existing regulators from doing a piecemeal bailout deal.
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1. Build a highly fortified military complex loaded with all the valuables, inebriating substances, entertainment-related products, and snack foods of the nation that can be swiftly and easily transported to such location.
2. Invite cronies, assorted eye-candy, cultists, and sycophantic soldiers.
3. Issue press release indicating that we have always been at war with Eurasia and that I am working on the problem (or something).
4. Throw a party that would make Nero look like Caesar.
Yeah...that sounds good.
Edit: Damnit. Set beat me to the bunch. And even had the foresight to set up his island of debauchery outside the jurisdiction of the U.S.
Edit2: Oh yeah. I forgot. Step 0 would be to give Texas back to Mexico and note certain individuals who should be detained due to criminal intent.
*cough* Daigle *cough* Heathy *cough*
No hoarding of pony-related merchandise?
1. Build a highly fortified military complex loaded with all the valuables, inebriating substances, entertainment-related products, and snack foods of the nation that can be swiftly and easily transported to such location.
May I suggest kidnapping James Jacobs and chaining him to a desk so he can write scenarios for you during the coming apocalypse?
There is change in the wind, and unfortunately history has taught us that all too often the dusk of one superpower tends to see the dawning of a new, not quite as nice, world power.
That seems like an odd statement - the last time a super power got replaced by another is was America taking up were Britain left off. One could argue that the British replaced the French and the French replaced the Spanish as well.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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Worse case scenario comes to fruition: The $700 billion dollar bailout fails and the USA slips immediatly into recession (or worse). You and you alone have the only solution to make things better. What would you do as US President to save the USA and save the world from total failure?
Have you seen 'Dark Angel'? Something like that.
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Oh, wait. We're supposed to save the world? I though you wanted us to outline a postapocalyptic campaign setting.
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Okay, I would build a time machine. Document the apocalypse. Go back in time and introduce it as an OGL compatible campaign setting for D20 Modern. Make a ton of cash. Retire rich.
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Oh, sorry. Still not getting the saving the world part. I'll keep thinking about it.
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Worse case scenario comes to fruition: The $700 billion dollar bailout fails and the USA slips immediatly into recession (or worse). You and you alone have the only solution to make things better. What would you do as US President to save the USA and save the world from total failure?Have you seen 'Dark Angel'? Something like that.
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Oh, wait. We're supposed to save the world? I though you wanted us to outline a postapocalyptic campaign setting.
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Okay, I would build a time machine. Document the apocalypse. Go back in time and introduce it as an OGL compatible campaign setting for D20 Modern. Make a ton of cash. Retire rich.
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Oh, sorry. Still not getting the saving the world part. I'll keep thinking about it.
You could take pictures ;)
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Instead of Bailing out wallstreet I compulsorily merge all the lenders into one financial institution nationalizing them for fifty percent of their value. Their incompetence and corruption should take a hit but not destruction sufficient to drag down their victims.
I Tax the private sector (and their shareholders)at twice the current rate until they all relocate to the Moon (a tax free haven - if you live and work there) getting them to the moon Divesting the Government of the costs of Colonization.
I then use the rest of the money (500 billion) to build sea walls from Florida to Cuba and from Cuba to the Yucatan and drain the gulf of Mexico turning the acquired territory into the new State of MezoAmerica.
I allocate fifty percent of the territory for Rainforest Growth (going with a patchwork of square miles) and allocate the rest to any family prepared to live below sea level and farm their own square mile - the US rivers used now as irrigation for this state (half a million square miles of Farmland).
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As Glorious Leader, I would concentrate on saving the US, not the world. As US president, the world is not my job. (Unless I'm president of a new world government, but that's a different topic.)
First, cancel the bailout and let the market fail. Abolish the federal reserve, and put making money back into the hands of the federal government, not a private bank. Establish a system of Social Credit, wherein everyone in society gets a "National Dividend" based on the difference between price of production and ratio of consumption. The government prints the money it needs, when it needs it.
This is in direct opposition to classical economic theory, which is exactly why I think it would work and why i would institute it. I actually wrote my Master's thesis on the possibility of instituting a Social Credit system in the US, and believe it would be possible, if you can shut up (or ignore) all the classical economists out there. It certainly wouldn't be any worse (and would in many ways be better) than what we have now.
If you're not an economist and want a really clear description of what is a very complex theory, as well as a fictional example of a society based on Social Credit, I highly recommend For Us, The Living, Robert A. Heinlein's first unpublished novel (recently published posthumously).
EDIT: Also, if you're curious as to the cause of the current financial crisis, here is a simple explanation. (WARNING: Czech subtitles ahead!)
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There is change in the wind, and unfortunately history has taught us that all too often the dusk of one superpower tends to see the dawning of a new, not quite as nice, world power.That seems like an odd statement - the last time a super power got replaced by another is was America taking up were Britain left off. One could argue that the British replaced the French and the French replaced the Spanish as well.
Yes, however, there were attempts by Germany and Italy to step in to fill the void left by Britian. It was only by standing up to the rise of totalitarianism that America became a superpower. It could also be argued that when Spain and France were superpowers, they were not the nicest nations in the world either.
Someday, I will write my dimestore novel called "Deficit War!" which has the following plot:
It's 2019. Japan says, "Hey U.S., we financed your debt binging. You owe us half a quadrillion dollars. Pay up."
We say, "Suck it, Japan. Do you how much of your money we spent on our military?"
Japan says, "Do you know how much of our money we spent on giant robots?"
And it pretty much writes itself after that.
Mike
War?
Hell, that's a board game.
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Someday, I will write my dimestore novel called "Deficit War!" which has the following plot:
It's 2019. Japan says, "Hey U.S., we financed your debt binging. You owe us half a quadrillion dollars. Pay up."
We say, "Suck it, Japan. Do you how much of your money we spent on our military?"
Japan says, "Do you know how much of our money we spent on giant robots?"
And it pretty much writes itself after that.
Mike
But that is when the U.S. busts out the starfighters and space cruisers we built with the alien technology hidden in Area 51. It really does write itself.
But that is when the U.S. busts out the starfighters and space cruisers we built with the alien technology hidden in Area 51. It really does write itself.
Did we bid those out to the lowest-cost contractor like we did with the V-22 Osprey? Because if so, I don't like our chances against the giant robots.
I'm currently working on the scene where the novel's plucky heroine resigns the presidency to lead Alaska's Million Moose Militia on a doomed assault on the now-airborne island of Japan.
Mike
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But that is when the U.S. busts out the starfighters and space cruisers we built with the alien technology hidden in Area 51. It really does write itself.Did we bid those out to the lowest-cost contractor like we did with the V-22 Osprey? Because if so, I don't like our chances against the giant robots.
Mike
They were built by Halliburten under no bid contracts.
I want to read that book. That means you need to write it. Get cracking, Mike. (Maybe you could get it published under Planet Stories! It's neo-pulp.)
3. Issue press release indicating that we have always been at war with Eastasia and that I am working on the problem (or something).
We are now, for all intents and purposes, at war with Eastasia. We have never been at war with Eurasia. To say otherwise is may have grievous consequences.
WAR IS PEACE.
They were built by Halliburten under no bid contracts.
I have them hiring an all-contractor army in Chapter 7, with the rallying theme song:
Giant robots on the loose?
We'll kick them in their caboose!
If your country's really hurtin'
Don't delay, call Halliburton!
Mike
Director of Sales
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When I am your Glorious Leader, I will assume emergency powers and disband the Legislative and Judicial Branches of the federal government. This is for your protection. The country will also be reauthorized as the Untied States for Cosmo. This is also for your protection.
Then I will declare war on Liechtenstein. Why? Because they're wily.
After I have personally lead our country to Glorious Victory over the rogue nation of Liechtenstein, we will have it carpeted. Border to border. Three inch, lime green, SHAG.
Citizens of the USC who achieve a high Happiness Amplification Quotient will be rewarded with the opportunity of visiting the newly carpeted state of Liechtenstein where they will have the opportunity to roll around in that wonderful pile for as long as they want.
The plan is flawless.
Thanks,
cos
1) a)This is not a typo. The official spelling will really be C-O-S-M-O.
b) Also... questioning your Glorious Leader is strictly forbidden in all cases.
2) By "personally", I mean "digitally inserted into relevant newsreels" See also Note 1b.
3) Note to the British: I'm referring here to the carpet, but the double-entendre should convey the nature of the USC Victory.
4) The only happiness counted towards this quotient is that of your Glorious Leader. Make me smile. Or else.
5) Of course, by "as long as they want" I mean "as long as I feel like being generous".
6) See note 1b.
Edit2: Oh yeah. I forgot. Step 0 would be to give Texas back to Mexico and note certain individuals who should be detained due to criminal intent.
*cough* Daigle *cough* Heathy *cough*
Ahem!
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Ahem!Edit2: Oh yeah. I forgot. Step 0 would be to give Texas back to Mexico and note certain individuals who should be detained due to criminal intent.
*cough* Daigle *cough* Heathy *cough*
You have no criminal intent you are just...furry. That's ok it goes with the territory. Beside which what would change for you if you like in the Mexican state of Texas...more chihuahuas?
More Chihuahuas would be nice.
1. Build a highly fortified military complex loaded with all the valuables, inebriating substances, entertainment-related products, and snack foods of the nation that can be swiftly and easily transported to such location.
2. Invite cronies, assorted eye-candy, cultists, and sycophantic soldiers.
3. Issue press release indicating that we have always been at war with Eurasia and that I am working on the problem (or something).
4. Throw a party that would make Nero look like Caesar.
Yeah...that sounds good.
Edit: Damnit. Set beat me to the bunch. And even had the foresight to set up his island of debauchery outside the jurisdiction of the U.S.
Edit2: Oh yeah. I forgot. Step 0 would be to give Texas back to Mexico and note certain individuals who should be detained due to criminal intent.
*cough* Daigle *cough* Heathy *cough*
I got my eye on you, pony boy... 'n' you too, crimson clown...
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1. Build a highly fortified military complex loaded with all the valuables, inebriating substances, entertainment-related products, and snack foods of the nation that can be swiftly and easily transported to such location.
2. Invite cronies, assorted eye-candy, cultists, and sycophantic soldiers.
3. Issue press release indicating that we have always been at war with Eurasia and that I am working on the problem (or something).
4. Throw a party that would make Nero look like Caesar.
Yeah...that sounds good.
Edit: Damnit. Set beat me to the bunch. And even had the foresight to set up his island of debauchery outside the jurisdiction of the U.S.
That's okay, you can have North America. I won't be using it.
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I got my eye on you, pony boy... 'n' you too, crimson clown...1. Build a highly fortified military complex loaded with all the valuables, inebriating substances, entertainment-related products, and snack foods of the nation that can be swiftly and easily transported to such location.
2. Invite cronies, assorted eye-candy, cultists, and sycophantic soldiers.
3. Issue press release indicating that we have always been at war with Eurasia and that I am working on the problem (or something).
4. Throw a party that would make Nero look like Caesar.
Yeah...that sounds good.
Edit: Damnit. Set beat me to the bunch. And even had the foresight to set up his island of debauchery outside the jurisdiction of the U.S.
Edit2: Oh yeah. I forgot. Step 0 would be to give Texas back to Mexico and note certain individuals who should be detained due to criminal intent.
*cough* Daigle *cough* Heathy *cough*
Hey Whats Um...Tex-A$$ to me?
... stop ordering raw materials from countries like Canada, which will then have to find new markets for their resources or end up in a similar sitaution.
Hey, our main exports are machinery/machine parts like cars and aircraft, so don't knock it. But you're totally right in the rest of your explanation.
I would make World of Warcraft accounts for every man, woman and child in the USA and transfer the whole economy to that online world. Gold would be the new (old) standard currency and every real-life profession would be transferred to an online equivalent (Investment Bankers=Draenei). That way the federal government wouldn't have to pay them real money. Infrastructure improvements could be quickly programmed in, and virtual items created cheaply and quickly to support everyone's dreams. The real-life infrastructure of the US would be sold to foreigners to buy server upgrades and lag-less broadband for everyone.
Citizens of the USA, leave the boring real world behind for the greener pastures of World of Warcraft!
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RUSSEL CROWE RECOMMENDS: "...Give every American a Million Dollars".
That would blow it out to three hundred thousand billion Dollars...but no one would be poor. Considering that is the total worth of the USA in Territories and Assets I would suggest it divies up equally to the shareholders of usa.com quite nicely.