The Angry Jack Cult


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hUh?


See, if you really were a robot, or if you hung about with them all day at the club, you would know what the Bender Principle is.


iT waS a JoKe... hEHe?


*A voice is heard from outside*

"Bender Bending Rodriguez, ya alca-, alce-, beer powered robo' get back hea...

*The sound of a drunk man collapsing*


{Hmm....methinks tis smacks of trickery!}
Is that the sound of another thief in a robot costume? I think I should bar the door and lock the shutters, just in case...to bad we don't have proper valets around here to do these things for us.


Panama Jack wrote:

{Hmm....methinks tis smacks of trickery!}

Is that the sound of another thief in a robot costume? I think I should bar the door and lock the shutters, just in case...to bad we don't have proper valets around here to do these things for us.

Good idea. While I'm here let me throw this phony Jack out of here. *Throws Lumberjack out and locks the door*


*clunk* oW! lEt Me bAcK iN. I neEd tO GeT mY Car kEyS.

Scarab Sages

Crescent Potato Puffs

Ingredients:
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup finely shredded carrot
• 1 teaspoon chicken flavor instant bouillon
• 2 tablespoons chopped chives
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (optional)
• 1 cup water
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 cups Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, flakes
• 1 (8 oz.) can refrigerated crescent dinner rolls
• 1 cup (4 oz.) shredded Cheddar cheese

Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 375°F. Spray a 13x9-inch pan with no-stick cooking spray.
2. BEAT eggs in large microwave-safe bowl. Reserve about 2 tablespoons beaten egg. Add carrot, bouillon, chives, salt, water and milk to eggs in bowl. Mix well. Microwave on HIGH for 2 1/2 minutes or just until hot. Mix in potato flakes.
3. SPRAY a flat surface with no-stick cooking spray. Unroll dough into 2 long rectangles. Overlap long sides to form large rectangle. Firmly press perforations and edges to seal. Press or roll to form 14x10-inch rectangle. Spread potato mixture over dough. Sprinkle with cheese. Roll up dough starting with long side. Seal long edge. Cut crosswise into 8 slices. Place cut side down in prepared pan. Press to flatten slightly. Brush with reserved beaten egg.
4. BAKE 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown. Cool in pan 3 minutes. Remove from pan. Serve warm.
TIP To make ahead, prepare recipe as directed through Step 3. Cover and refrigerate for up to 2 hours before baking.

Yield: 8 servings
Prep Time: 40 min
Cook Time: 30 min


SoUnDS goOd.


Panama Jack wrote:

{PJ quickly mixes a Mojito}

Here, drink this down...all better. We appear to be out of Ginger beer.

Can I have one of those sir? or two? or three?...

WHat? Jack's wounded? where?! WHERE?!

*steping on fallen Jack's hand*


Frat Jack wrote:
*steping on fallen Jack's hand*

HaAhAhaHA!


LumberJack wrote:
Frat Jack wrote:
*steping on fallen Jack's hand*
HaAhAhaHA!

*Shards of previously broken faceplate rise up, reforming.*

yEs iT Is veRy fUnNy EhEhEh


HaAhAHaHahAhA!!

YoU ThiNk ItS fuNnY ToO?


We need to bathe our clubhouse in microwaves to figure out who are meat impostors. Panama, I'll have to ask you to withdraw to the Smoking Room for a few minutes. It's lead-lined.

Begins assembling microwave generator.

Scarab Sages

Time, once again, for Hungry Jack's FAQs:

Question: Can I bake my potatoes in the oven at the same time my meat is roasting?

Answer: Yes! You simply adjust the baking time for your potatoes according to the temperature required to roast your meat. On the back of each box of Hungry Jack Casserole Potatoes, you'll find a handy time and temperature chart:

325° F., bake potatoes for 55 minutes
350° F., bake potatoes for 50 minutes
375° F., bake potatoes for 45 minutes


Malice Jack wrote:

We need to bathe our clubhouse in microwaves to figure out who are meat impostors. Panama, I'll have to ask you to withdraw to the Smoking Room for a few minutes. It's lead-lined.

Begins assembling microwave generator.

Good idea.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Malice Jack wrote:

We need to bathe our clubhouse in microwaves to figure out who are meat impostors. Panama, I'll have to ask you to withdraw to the Smoking Room for a few minutes. It's lead-lined.

Begins assembling microwave generator.

Good idea.

Yes, it's a great idea. So great, in fact, I might as well steal it! He he, oh I just crack myself up sometimes.

*Steals essential components of microwave generator*

Oh, yeah, congratulations on your speedy recovery, Right Hand Man. We have to do it again sometime.

*Another dramatic leap out of a nearby window.*


Capital idea, Jack! Don't worry about me, as my total sunblock and PJ tanning goggles also protects against microwaves. Simply switch the the microwave on, as the equipiment the masked rogue stole was simply my broken ice-cream maker.

And glad to hear about the smoking room, what what.

Sovereign Court

Hungry Jack wrote:

Time, once again, for Hungry Jack's FAQs:

Question: Can I bake my potatoes in the oven at the same time my meat is roasting?

Answer: Yes! You simply adjust the baking time for your potatoes according to the temperature required to roast your meat. On the back of each box of Hungry Jack Casserole Potatoes, you'll find a handy time and temperature chart:

325° F., bake potatoes for 55 minutes
350° F., bake potatoes for 50 minutes
375° F., bake potatoes for 45 minutes

Terrific. Now what's for dessert?


The Masked Rogue wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Malice Jack wrote:

We need to bathe our clubhouse in microwaves to figure out who are meat impostors. Panama, I'll have to ask you to withdraw to the Smoking Room for a few minutes. It's lead-lined.

Begins assembling microwave generator.

Good idea.

Yes, it's a great idea. So great, in fact, I might as well steal it! He he, oh I just crack myself up sometimes.

*Steals essential components of microwave generator*

Oh, yeah, congratulations on your speedy recovery, Right Hand Man. We have to do it again sometime.

*Another dramatic leap out of a nearby window.*

I got a nice surprise for you the next time we meet Rogue.


*Applies motor oil on the outside chassis to get a nice tan from the microwaves*

Sovereign Court

Are we ready to vaporize all the meatbags?


Ahem...all *Non-Jack* meatbags? Ready on this end.

Sovereign Court

Panama Jack wrote:
Ahem...all *Non-Jack* meatbags? Ready on this end.

Oh yeah...


*A large cloud of smoke fills the room, obscuring your vision. When it clears, the microwave generator has disappeared, with a note in its place.*

What, I like sneaking in hear too much to let you irradiate the place! Also, thanks for the ice-cream machine, Panama.
-Masked Rogue


AwwWw. i wAntEd tO MicRowAVe sOmeThING.

Sovereign Court

Jack A. Nape wrote:
AwwWw. i wAntEd tO MicRowAVe sOmeThING.

Don't worry, he just took the Betamax player.

Now then, throw the lever!


The Masked Rogue wrote:

What, I like sneaking in hear too much to let you irradiate the place! Also, thanks for the ice-cream machine, Panama.

-Masked Rogue

I say we should invite this guy as an honorary member of our House. He spends so much time in here that we have already assigned him a parking espace. I bet he wants to be a Jack.

*Holds out the oil-check initiator*


The Masked Rogue wrote:

*A large cloud of smoke fills the room, obscuring your vision. When it clears, the microwave generator has disappeared, with a note in its place.*

What, I like sneaking in hear too much to let you irradiate the place! Also, thanks for the ice-cream machine, Panama.
-Masked Rogue

Sorry Rogue, with all the smoke you didn't notice that you took MY ice cream machine by mistake. You're going have to be more attentive.


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack A. Nape wrote:
AwwWw. i wAntEd tO MicRowAVe sOmeThING.

Don't worry, he just took the Betamax player.

Now then, throw the lever!

*The Masked Rogue enters, wearing a microwave-proof suit.*

Hey, I don't want to join you over-powered robots. You're just the most fun to steal from.

*Steals lever*


The Masked Rogue wrote:

*A large cloud of smoke fills the room, obscuring your vision. When it clears, the microwave generator has disappeared, with a note in its place.*

What, I like sneaking in hear too much to let you irradiate the place! Also, thanks for the ice-cream machine, Panama.
-Masked Rogue

Have what fun you can with a (as originally posted) *broken* ice cream maker...I simply knew there as a smashing good reason I didn't toss that old piece of rubbish out!

Sovereign Court

Hahahah! A microwave-proof suit...? Where'd you get it, Acme?


I bet he bought it with his Coyote Rewards card, what-what!

Sovereign Court

Panama Jack wrote:
I bet he bought it with his Coyote Rewards card, what-what!

Ha! Probably.

Now that we've won multiple wars against the other cults and reduced all non-essential meatbags to a fine goo, what is the next plan? I say we go get more beer...


I just signed for a new shipment of Barrett's Ginger Beer. {Commences breaking open cold-storage shipment case.}


Callous Jack wrote:
I say we go get more beer...

ALL PRAISE THE LORD OF METAL (not music related)!!!

*raises his half full keg of beer in cheers*


I never got to lern why is the Boss angry?

*Drinks the half left on the keg*

More beer please!


Frat Jack wrote:

I never got to lern why is the Boss angry?

*Drinks the half left on the keg*

More beer please!

Don't hog it all Frat Jack. I need some as well.


Not to worry, metal chaps...I increased our order this time. Wanted to have some left over to mix dark&stormies, you know.


Let's give a toast to our little blue friends. Without them victory would not have been possible.


Blue "fellows"? I thought those were the snaks... My bad

"spits a half-chewed smvrf*


Here-here! "For they are jolly blue fellows, for they are jolly blue fellows, for they are jolly blue fel-el-ows, luckily they quickly multiply!"

The Exchange

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Let's give a toast to our little blue friends. Without them victory would not have been possible.

Should we use Gummi Berry Juice to toast our little blue friends?

Liberty's Edge

Hey Hungry, do you have a crepe recipe?


Angel of Violence wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Let's give a toast to our little blue friends. Without them victory would not have been possible.
Should we use Gummi Berry Juice to toast our little blue friends?

Nah. Panama's Dark&Stormies will work.


(Lines up glasses, begins mixing new round, pours and serves)
"God save the Queen!"


Can you fill this one for me?

*brings up a keg*


Happy to oblige. {PJ hooks up a fresh keg to the tap. Pours a couple of bottles of Gosling's into the empty keg, shovels in several large scoops of ice, then tops it off with Barrett's from the spray tap.}

Cheers!


[the man inside the robot speaks... Damn, now I'm thirsty!]

Gluglugluglugluglugluglubuuuuurpglugluglugluglu


*LumberJack walks into room with embarressed look*

Hey, wow, sorry I got drunk earlier, and um.. you know, did those things.

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