Behind the clubhouse several shambling mounds rise from the compost heap. They head to the structure, seeking the flame device that hurt their master. Off in the distance a treant/druid can be seen walking off.
If that doesn't work I have a few spells that will take care of the metal man that dared disturb me.
Behind the clubhouse several shambling mounds rise from the compost heap. They head to the structure, seeking the flame device that hurt their master. Off in the distance a treant/druid can be seen walking off.
If that doesn't work I have a few spells that will take care of the metal man that dared disturb me.
Darn...see? senseless violence just generates more senseless violence....and good sport!
*grabs the trimmer machine and shapes the shambling mounds into nice carebear bushes*
Behind the clubhouse several shambling mounds rise from the compost heap. They head to the structure, seeking the flame device that hurt their master. Off in the distance a treant/druid can be seen walking off.
If that doesn't work I have a few spells that will take care of the metal man that dared disturb me.
*notices the ticked off Treant creating Shambling Mounds* Uh-oh, I might have bitten off more than I can chew this time. Thankfully, it looks like Frat Jack has everything under control.
somehow the sight of Care Bear shaped shambling mounds is more terrifying than the originals
Errr, guys? Those Care Bear Shambling Mounds are still moving in this direction! And they smell like Poodle and Dire Ape poop!
Back to where the shambling mounds rose from several grime-covered peasants are seen making a break for it.
We'll never get the smell out of the carpet and the boss will ticked! What do they want?!
somehow the sight of Care Bear shaped shambling mounds is more terrifying than the originals
Errr, guys? Those Care Bear Shambling Mounds are still moving in this direction! And they smell like Poodle and Dire Ape poop!
Back to where the shambling mounds rose from several grime-covered peasants are seen making a break for it.
We'll never get the smell out of the carpet and the boss will ticked! What do they want?!
Don't worry Jack Hammer. I'll take care of it. *takes flamethrower outside and incinerates the Care Bear Shambling Mounds*. I gotta say, this is by far my favorite toy yet.
Pockets of methane begin exploding as the carebear shambling mounds are incinerated. Bits of unexploded matter litter the area. Somehow the stench is worse.
I ain't cleanin' that up.
In the distance an echoing laughter can be heard
Wakes up in bathroom with a mean mojito hangover. Hears explosions, screams and Satanic laughter
What the heck is going on? *GROOOAAAANNNN*
I think we've been hit with the fantasy version of the flaming bag of poop on our doorstep. Only 'someone' else provided the flame.
At leasr the carebears were eliminated before the demon child pony stalker sensed them.
Hey guys, check it out!!! We must ge getting famous!!!!!
Two Paizonian comic strips in a row!!!
Viva la casa Jack!
Hey guys, check it out!!! We must ge getting famous!!!!!
Two Paizonian comic strips in a row!!!
Viva la casa Jack!
...now we were in a tight spot indeed, for we had cut off our only route of regress through the profane shrine. Though the surrounding valley would enjoy rest from the intruders from the rift, we would never return to our own world. My quest to bring back the last of the essential ingredients for formulating a total sunblock would fail. I would never look again on the yellow sun, and would probably eventually fall victim some night to a ghoul's touch. The whole, true story of the Unholies of Gratcorvum wouuld never be told penetrating look at KC through his monocle. And Reggie would never see his mother again. And all because of a landslide of slate and shale that we could never hope to move, blocking our way to the derro servants' service door. We emptied all of our gear, carefully arranging it back in the antechamber's floor so nothing was missed. And there, wrapped in our only remaining clean linen strips, was a grenade that had somehow gotten out of place, and so had never been used. Quickly we returned for the jars of fuel that were kept in the sacristy. We placed them among the ledges of rock, packing them close as best we could, especially in areas that looked vulnerable. We wedged the grenade tight in the rock, and rigged some twine to pull its pine. We retreated far down the passage to the corner bend, crouched and uttered a quick prayer to Jove and Britannia that we would not be buried in a cave-in, and pulled the pin. With flash, a shock, and a rumble that lasted almost as long as the dust cloud blinded our sight, we were buried in dust. When we dug our way clear, we could see the dim light of the dark moon that lighted this world shining through the shattered iron door. We hurried out, singing an old Gilbert & Sullivan tune...
...now we were in a tight spot indeed, for we had cut off our only route of regress through the profane shrine. Though the surrounding valley would enjoy rest from the intruders from the rift, we would never return to our own world. My quest to bring back the last of the essential ingredients for formulating a total sunblock would fail. I would never look again on the yellow sun, and would probably eventually fall victim some night to a ghoul's touch. The whole, true story of the Unholies of Gratcorvum wouuld never be told penetrating look at KC through his monocle. And Reggie would never see his mother again. And all because of a landslide of slate and shale that we could never hope to move, blocking our way to the derro servants' service door. We emptied all of our gear, carefully arranging it back in the antechamber's floor so nothing was missed. And there, wrapped in our only remaining clean linen strips, was a grenade that had somehow gotten out of place, and so had never been used. Quickly we returned for the jars of fuel that were kept in the sacristy. We placed them among the ledges of rock, packing them close as best we could, especially in areas that looked vulnerable. We wedged the grenade tight in the rock, and rigged some twine to pull its pine. We retreated far down the passage to the corner bend, crouched and uttered a quick prayer to Jove and Britannia that we would not be buried in a cave-in, and pulled the pin. With flash, a shock, and a rumble that lasted almost as long as the dust cloud blinded our sight, we were buried in dust. When we dug our way clear, we could see the dim light of the dark moon that lighted this world shining through the shattered iron door. We hurried out, singing an old Gilbert & Sullivan tune...
Is that when the Tarrasque struck? Is it?
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Cheesy Chicken Potatoes
Ingredients:
• 1 (4.9 oz.) package Hungry Jack® Four Cheese Potatoes
• 2 cups boiling water
• 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
• 2/3 cup milk
• 2 cups cubed, cooked chicken
• 2 cups frozen broccoli florets, thawed
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 cup (4 oz.) shredded Cheddar cheese
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 425°F. Combine potato slices, sauce mix, boiling water and butter in ungreased 8 x 8-inch (2-quart) glass baking dish. Stir in milk. Bake 20 minutes.
2. REMOVE baking dish from oven. Stir in chicken, broccoli and sour cream. Sprinkle with cheese.
3. BAKE an additional 10 to 12 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Let stand about 5 minutes to thicken sauce.
TIP Serve this creamy one-dish meal with fresh fruit for dessert, if desired.
Yield: 5 servings
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 32 min
Yeah, about that.... I already beat the crap out of the cartoonist... Its fixed now..
Yeah, about that.... I already beat the crap out of the cartoonist... Its fixed now..
So very appreciative of you.
Its already commissioned!
Yap yap!
Is that when the Tarrasque struck? Is it?
Looks at Jack Hammer in surprise. What? No, no. Why, the tarrasque was on the plains of Karasez, when we went to ransom Bartlett from the Sultan of the Djinn of Tarabia. Have I not told you that tale?
How about a link to the other one.
Nononononono, no one wants to see that again. NO ONE
How about a link to the other one.Nononononono, no one wants to see that again. NO ONE
For once, I agree with you thief.
Is that when the Tarrasque struck? Is it?Looks at Jack Hammer in surprise. What? No, no. Why, the tarrasque was on the plains of Karasez, when we went to ransom Bartlett from the Sultan of the Djinn of Tarabia. Have I not told you that tale?
No. Please proceed. I'm just going to get some Hungry Jack snacks for us.
...now we were in a tight spot indeed, for we had cut off our only route of regress through the profane shrine. Though the surrounding valley would enjoy rest from the intruders from the rift, we would never return to our own world. My quest to bring back the last of the essential ingredients for formulating a total sunblock would fail. I would never look again on the yellow sun, and would probably eventually fall victim some night to a ghoul's touch. The whole, true story of the Unholies of Gratcorvum wouuld never be told penetrating look at KC through his monocle.
What are you looking at me for?
You cast aspersions on my veracity, Master Kobold. Take a look here. Opens trunk, removes carpet and unrolls is. This is the remains of the flying carpet that was given me by the Sultan. You can see the burn marks the efreet left on the rug as they attempted to impede our return of the Sultan's daughter. Without her, the Sultan would never have released Bartlett from his prison, where he was being held for tricking the Sultan's Vizier, Qarab Naziri al-Djinn, out of location of the oasis that held the ambrosia trees that drip their sap on the ginger plants that grow by the 'Ayin Kouri. It was this discovery that allowed Bartlett to make the best ginger beer ever known to man. But the Tarrasque actually comes earlier in the tale. Motions towards the great, multi-story, free standing wall that cuts through multiple floors of the clubhouse, upon which hangs the head of the great beast.
::::Bzzzzzzzzzzzz::::
::::Bzzzzzzzzzzzz::::
*Sprays Raid on the wasp*
::::Bzzzzzzzzzzzz::::*Sprays Raid on the wasp*
Bzzzzzzzzz.
:::dodges and flies out of range:::
Out of range of the Jack's high-powered pest sprays is, unfortunately, outside among the trees, where a waiting ape makes a snack of the insect. Hopefully it was a monstrous insect, at least.
Burp.
I thirst for Egyptian beer for some reason.. hmm..
Steps forward with a tray and a drink.
Try a Dark and Stormy, sir, made with Baritt's Ginger Beer and Black Seal Rum. This tasty Bermudan favorite may wash away unexplained desires for beverages which may no longer exist. It also packs a more powerful punch than you might suspect.
Out of range of the Jack's high-powered pest sprays is, unfortunately, outside among the trees, where a waiting ape makes a snack of the insect. Hopefully it was a monstrous insect, at least.
Burp.
Bzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bz.
Translated from the dialect of the Mosquito species.
I am but one, but we are many. I am immortal. FOREVER!!!!!
No longer exist? What about Stella or Sakara?
Splat.
Retires momentarily to clean his swatter.
Sorry, Sir. When I was stationed in Cairo, the local mullahs were particularly hard on alcohol, so I assumed any Egyptian beer was ancient Egyptian beer. We always had India Pale Ale imported for the men. And I always associated Stella with Stella Artois, which I know the Col. drinks at times. Are you sure you wouldn't rather have the Dark & Stormy?
I'll give it a try. I'll try any beer once.
To enjoy an authentic Bermudan Dark & Stormy, be sure and use Gosling's Black Seal Rum and Barritt's Ginger Beer.
Serves the gentlemen Jacks their drinks.
And gentlemen, keep in mind as you listen to the Col's story, that his companion was Barritt, although it sounded like the Col. mistakenly said "Bartlett".
Out of range of the Jack's high-powered pest sprays is, unfortunately, outside among the trees, where a waiting ape makes a snack of the insect. Hopefully it was a monstrous insect, at least.
Burp.Bzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bz.
Translated from the dialect of the Mosquito species.
I am but one, but we are many. I am immortal. FOREVER!!!!!
Ripoff. I was here first!
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Creamy Confetti Mashed Potatoes
Ingredients:
• 1-3/4 cups water
• 1 (3.75 oz.) package Hungry Jack Easy Mash'd Sour Cream and Chives Mashed Potatoes
• 1 (11 oz.) can corn with red and green peppers, undrained
• 1-2 tablespoons shredded Parmesan cheese
Preparation Directions:
1. COMBINE water, contents of pouch and corn in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on HIGH for 3 to 4 minutes or until heated thoroughly.
2. STIR until potatoes are of desired consistency. Sprinkle with cheese, cover and let stand 5 minutes to thicken.
Yield: 6 Servings
Prep Time: 5 min
Cook Time: 4 min
Having returned from British Honduras, where we had uncovered a portal into Xibaba, Reggie and I were convalescing at John Barritt's house in Bermuda. His father was the head jailer in Hamilton, and he had taken some years before a map off a pirate, who was half-raving about a city that had come up from the sea, inhabited by impossible creatures who feasted on his crew. The map had a legend that referred to "the one long trapped beneath the mountain has keys to treasures untold." This map had passed into John Barritt's keeping, and he was keen to undertake an adventure that would secure a fortune. The map indicated a Barbary port as the most obvious starting point, and after reporting to Gen. Maclean and securing our special orders, we proceeded to take ship...
Ripoff. I was here first!
Bzzzzzzz!!!!!
Ripoff. I was here first!Bzzzzzzz!!!!!
*Shoots with tiny gun*
Having returned from British Honduras, where we had uncovered a portal into Xibaba, Reggie and I were convalescing at John Barritt's house in Bermuda. His father was the head jailer in Hamilton, and he had taken some years before a map off a pirate, who was half-raving about a city that had come up from the sea, inhabited by impossible creatures who feasted on his crew. The map had a legend that referred to "the one long trapped beneath the mountain has keys to treasures untold." This map had passed into John Barritt's keeping, and he was keen to undertake an adventure that would secure a fortune. The map indicated a Barbary port as the most obvious starting point, and after reporting to Gen. Maclean and securing our special orders, we proceeded to take ship...
Jeeezzz.... I rather have Panama serving drinks... ZzzZZzzz... :P
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Blueberry Peach Crisp
Ingredients:
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 1 (21 oz.) can peach pie filling
• 1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
• 1 cup Hungry Jack Complete Blueberry Wheat Pancake & Waffle Mix
• 1 cup quick rolled oats
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 cup chopped pecans
• Whipped cream (optional)
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 350°F. Coat a 9x9-inch baking pan lightly with no-stick cooking spray. Spread peach pie filling in prepared pan.
2. STIR together melted butter and pancake mix in medium bowl until blended. Stir in oats, brown sugar and cinnamon until evenly moistened and crumbs form. Layer over peach filling. Sprinkle pecans on top.
3. BAKE 30 to 35 minutes or until top is golden brown. Cool at least 10 minutes before serving. Serve with whipped cream, if desired.
Yield: 9 Servings
Prep Time: 20 min
Cook Time: 35 min
Jeeezzz.... I rather have Panama serving drinks... ZzzZZzzz... :P
Makes Frat Jack a Kahlua Coffee while describing their transatlantic passage in excruciating detail, with many tangential (and seemingly off-topic) stories framed in the sea narrative.