Frigging ouch! Having a needle jammed in and worked around the inside of your neck hurts.
More bad news: Two large, fast growing masses with no liquid; I can’t tell you how badly I wanted them to be able to drain off at least some of the pressure. SUCKS.
More tests on the 19th, 20th, and 21st. The good news is they’ll know by the end of the month if they are benign or not, and if so, I only have to lose the upper wing where the tumors are.
So hungry. All the time. Hungry. I’m like a ghoul, except with potatoes and Special K Red Berries.
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Nope, no insurance no care. All I got was a group of doctors poking abd proding me. No blood drawn, no nothing. Doctors said I need to have ct-scan, before they can do anything. And I only have to pay the low, low cost of 10grand! Which according to the great doctors here in Clovis is a discount "from what they would charge in a big city".
So until I can get that done I'm SoL.
Listening to people eat. Ick.Never, never ever travel in China.
I can deal with noodle slurpage. It was burrito munching by someone with chronic sinus problems. Eew ick ick ick eew! I was so close to shutting the door and turning up some music just so I wouldn't have to listen anymore. It was vile.
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.
Good luck, Lazaro. I wish there was something I could do to help.
Nope, no insurance no care. All I got was a group of doctors poking abd proding me. No blood drawn, no nothing. Doctors said I need to have ct-scan, before they can do anything. And I only have to pay the low, low cost of 10grand! Which according to the great doctors here in Clovis is a discount "from what they would charge in a big city".
So until I can get that done I'm SoL.
Move to Canada.
Seriously, good luck to you. Being sick sucks.
Frigging ouch! Having a needle jammed in and worked around the inside of your neck hurts.
More bad news: Two large, fast growing masses with no liquid; I can’t tell you how badly I wanted them to be able to drain off at least some of the pressure. SUCKS.
More tests on the 19th, 20th, and 21st. The good news is they’ll know by the end of the month if they are benign or not, and if so, I only have to lose the upper wing where the tumors are.
So hungry. All the time. Hungry. I’m like a ghoul, except with potatoes and Special K Red Berries.
Here's one example of why I could never be a doctor. I can't imagine sticking a needle down someone's throat. Ugh.
Good luck on the tests man. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you (not literally of course, but the thought's still there).
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.
My keen senses and great wisdom are informing me that you should probably find different boys. ;)
Currently as sick as I've pretty much ever been with what is easily the worst flu I have ever had.
I can't imagine sticking a needle down someone's throat. Ugh.
You haven't lived until you've Foley'd a crack addict. Just sayin'.
Not sure what you've tried yet Lazaro, but there are some interesting links as far as Pro Bono care here:LINKS.
Get well soon Shamgar!
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Frigging ouch! Having a needle jammed in and worked around the inside of your neck hurts.
More bad news: Two large, fast growing masses with no liquid; I can’t tell you how badly I wanted them to be able to drain off at least some of the pressure. SUCKS.
More tests on the 19th, 20th, and 21st. The good news is they’ll know by the end of the month if they are benign or not, and if so, I only have to lose the upper wing where the tumors are.
So hungry. All the time. Hungry. I’m like a ghoul, except with potatoes and Special K Red Berries.
That sucks. Hope the tests tell them (and you) something...
One of my favorite quotes from Mr. Wrong: "All men are horrible in their own way; you just have to learn to accept that."
My keen senses and great wisdom are informing me that you should probably find different boys. ;)
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.
Yeah. It also doesn't help that I'm really really irritable when I'm tired and at work. So, it's a give and take.
I'm pretty much done with that one, though. He got his three strikes.
My keen senses and great wisdom are informing me that you should probably find different boys. ;)
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.
Yeah. It also doesn't help that I'm really really irritable when I'm tired and at work. So, it's a give and take.
I'm pretty much done with that one, though. He got his three strikes.
~grins~ I wish you the best of luck with your boy troubles. I know I would be willing to date you in a heartbeat. (and this is before seeing your picture. ROW!!! Down boy!) Unfortunatly, I tend to be a great platonic friend with women. Relationship wise, I have not done that good. ~grins~ I am maturing enough to where my next time dating should go better, if I stop being so chicken shit.
I can deal with noodle slurpage.
Picture this.
You stroll into a noodle joint in a poorer suburb of Shanghai and take a seat and after some negotiation make it clear to the waitress that you want some chao mian (chow mein).
While you wait and you glance around, taking in the people hunched over their noodle bowls and slurping up noodles, watching them grab a new knot of handmade noodles every now and then with their chopsticks to restart an interrupted slurp. The guy across from you has a burning cigarette in his left hand--he takes a puff when he's not slurping. The smoke is wafting past you.
It disgusts you. You avert your eyes and start looking at the shoddy decor. The walls have never been washed since the place opened 5 years ago, paint is flaking off the ceiling and walls. You see the bathroom door open nest to the kitchen in the back: it's the size of a closet. A mop sits next to the floor mounted toilet bowl hanging halfway in (you don't sit on it - you squat over it). You wonder if that's the same mop they clean the floor with. A box of vegetables are being stored in the bathroom about two feet from the toilet. You are even more disgusted. You avert your eyes.
Another guy is shouting into his mobile phone while he shovels rice into his mouth from the bowl he is hunched over. He straightens up to yell something especially important with all of his lung power and food comes flying out of his mouth onto everything within 4 feet of his head. He doesn't notice.
Thanks to your remarkable hearing you realize he's not the only one eating with his mouth open. A lady a few tables down has just began chewing a large piece of deep fried pork. You listen and watch as her mastication slowly reduces it to mush and as your attention focuses in on her mouth you wonder if you are actually trapped in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon.
Unfortunately it is real. You don't feel so hungry anymore and wonder where the nearest MacDonalds is.
Being ambushed by your boss and his boss and press-ganged into working from 8:30 am to 8:45 pm carrying 39 chairs, 2 file cabinets, 3 medium desks, 2 LARGE desks, and 1 pool table from one end of queens to another and then back into brooklyn.
Being stuck between your boss and coworker realizing that your bladder has shrunk substantially and doing your best to focus on the map and shout out directions over your panicky coworker as your boss hot-dogs a uhaul down the anorexic side streets of queens.
Being told that you will have to relieve yourself in an alley behind a goodwill station, dancing the peepee macarena down into a lot filled with all types of manure and what must by now be mulch. Failing your reflex save after zipping up and ending up face first in your own offerings with an aching knee.
And worst of all:
Having to do it all again the next day.
Doing the right thing sickens me. It probably shouldn’t, but it does.
So, I drive up to the atm at the bank, and on the screen it is showing, “Do you need more time?”
Yes
No
…and of course, I know exactly what this means. Sure enough, a receipt is hanging from the machine, showing someone withdrew $120, and what the remaining account balance is. No PIN required; just the machine and I. Not as if I don’t need the money.
So of course, I do the right thing, because you have to do the right thing. Have to set an example for my son, even if he isn’t there and he’s only 9 months. Make the world a better place and all that stupid crap.
So, I hit the “No” button, pull around the bank, wait in line for two other people to finish banking, and give the card and the receipt to the teller, pull around the bank, wait again, do my own withdrawal so I can gas up the Cruiser.
Stop tempting me careless people! Wherever you are, Russell L. Washington, you’re welcome.
Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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Doing the right thing sickens me. It probably shouldn’t, but it does.
I tend to believe in karma. The Wiccan 'Law of Threefold Return' is a bit out there, but I try to keep it in mind (plus my wife reminds me of it!), and it makes the good deeds seem to have a better payoff.
This is the philosophy that whatever you put out will return to you threefold. Therefore, if you put out good intentions, goodness will return to you threefold, but if you put out bad intentions, you will bring back that negativity on yourself three times as powerful. Similarly, if you receive good, you should return it threefold.
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Picture this.
You stroll into a noodle joint in a poorer suburb of Shanghai and take a seat and after some negotiation make it clear to the waitress that you want some chao mian (chow mein).
While you wait and you glance around, taking in the people hunched over their noodle bowls and slurping up noodles, watching them grab a new knot of handmade noodles every now and then with their chopsticks to restart an interrupted slurp. The guy across from you has a burning cigarette in his left hand--he takes a puff when he's not slurping. The smoke is wafting past you.
It disgusts you. You avert your eyes and start looking at the shoddy decor. The walls have never been washed since the place opened 5 years ago, paint is flaking off the ceiling and walls. You see the bathroom door open nest to the kitchen in the back: it's the size of a closet. A mop sits next to the floor mounted toilet bowl hanging halfway in (you don't sit on it - you squat over it). You wonder if that's the same mop they clean the floor with. A box of vegetables are being stored in the bathroom about two feet from the toilet. You are even more disgusted. You avert your eyes.
Another guy is shouting into his mobile phone while he shovels rice into his mouth from the bowl he is hunched over. He straightens up to yell something especially important with all of his lung power and food comes flying out of his mouth onto everything within 4 feet of his head. He doesn't notice.
Thanks to your remarkable hearing you realize he's not the only one eating with his mouth open. A lady a few tables down has just began chewing a large piece of deep fried pork. You listen and watch as her mastication slowly reduces it to mush and as your attention focuses in on her mouth you wonder if you are actually trapped in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon.
Unfortunately it is real. You don't feel so hungry anymore and wonder where the nearest MacDonalds is.
The Chinese are a fascinating people. But their table manners don't seem to be especially refined.
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OK, for the second time in a year, some dumb motherf!#!er STOLE MY COAT.
For those of you who remember the "Airport Insecurity" thread, I had my coat, plus twelve dollars and a week's worth of medication stolen while in the San Francisco airport.
Now, today, I left my coat over a chair in the public library, left for ten minutes to go get a book, and when I came back, it was gone.
Honestly, what kind of desperate person needs to f~*~ing STEAL a FREEBIE International Paper Co. jacket? At least my wallet wasn't in it like last time.
This may sound concieted, but even if the thief was some poor person, wouldn't they think that maybe the person they're stealing from isn't exactly John D. Rockefeller, either? I mean, seriously. Outside of my college savings, I've got about thirty dollars to my name. I pay RENT to my f@#&ing PARENTS for chrissakes...
In the meanwhile, I'm waiting for a friend to pick me up so I don't have to walk eight miles through the snow in -10 degree weather to get home.
Bloody wankers.
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Doing the right thing sickens me. It probably shouldn’t, but it does.
So, I drive up to the atm at the bank, and on the screen it is showing, “Do you need more time?”
Yes
No…and of course, I know exactly what this means. Sure enough, a receipt is hanging from the machine, showing someone withdrew $120, and what the remaining account balance is. No PIN required; just the machine and I. Not as if I don’t need the money.
So of course, I do the right thing, because you have to do the right thing. Have to set an example for my son, even if he isn’t there and he’s only 9 months. Make the world a better place and all that stupid crap.
So, I hit the “No” button, pull around the bank, wait in line for two other people to finish banking, and give the card and the receipt to the teller, pull around the bank, wait again, do my own withdrawal so I can gas up the Cruiser.
Stop tempting me careless people! Wherever you are, Russell L. Washington, you’re welcome.
Shoulda transferred all his checking into his savings.....That woulda been humourous.
Law of Threefold Return
I’m familiar with the idea, but the part that makes me uneasy is the idea of an inherent reward. On some level, it means we are only doing the right thing because we know we’ll be rewarded (in spades). When you look at a thing, most of the time you just know the right thing to do (though obviously sometimes there is no right choice) in your heart. You just know, and you only ask yourself which road to take because doing the right thing often really sucks (Do I help that lady with the head wound out of the ditch, or do I keep driving to work so my boss won’t yell at me and the afternoon guy doesn’t have to wait? Someone [else] will help.). Therefore, we rationalize. We justify (I treated another human being unfairly because x, so obviously it’s o.k.….). We take the wrong road. Sometimes I just wish people would do the right thing because, well, it’s the right thing to do. Even if it sucks.
Law of Threefold ReturnI’m familiar with the idea, but the part that makes me uneasy is the idea of an inherent reward. On some level, it means we are only doing the right thing because we know we’ll be rewarded (in spades). When you look at a thing, most of the time you just know the right thing to do (though obviously sometimes there is no right choice) in your heart. You just know, and you only ask yourself which road to take because doing the right thing often really sucks (Do I help that lady with the head wound out of the ditch, or do I keep driving to work so my boss won’t yell at me and the afternoon guy doesn’t have to wait? Someone [else] will help.). Therefore, we rationalize. We justify (I treated another human being unfairly because x, so obviously it’s o.k.….). We take the wrong road. Sometimes I just wish people would do the right thing because, well, it’s the right thing to do. Even if it sucks.
Mankind is inherently selfish. Even the most enlightened people do things because they are somehow paid for it; whether it's in fame, wealth or just getting off on being a 'good person'. The only reason anything is ever done is because the person doing it is getting some sort of reward from it.
Things that suck:
That it's been 3 years, 4 months and 14 days since I had a job.
That it's been 3 years, 4 months and 14 days since I got sick*
That I've been dealing with the State, local and Fed for 3 years, 4 months and 14 days for assistance and they say no!
That every day I wake up feeling like crap.
That my body constantly aches.
That I don't have a normal sleeping schedule anymore.
That up until 3 years, 4 months and 14 days I had been living on my own. Now I have to depend on others for the basics.
That I run an almost constant fever, but the good news in that I can walk out in the winter weather in shorts and not have to worry about being cold(summers suck though).
The fact that no one in this town wants to take a risk on hiring me.
*** spoiler omitted **
Sorry if this was to long or too rant like, but I had to vent. Sorry again
Ahh, but don't you know that universal healthcare is EVIL and promotes COMMUNISM!!!???
Seriously, the American health sector sickens me... no, strike that, the fact that you can't get care without having insurance from a company that's only in it to make a huge bloated profit sickens me. The health sector itself is doing what it can.If I had the money I'd fly you over here to Europe where those tests could be done for you. Alas, I'm dirt poor... but I still have full healthcare coverage.
I hope you figure something out, though. Keep on hoping!
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.
I'll echo the universally wise words spoken before me further up the thread.
Also, why would anyone not be nice to you? You seem extremely nice, intelligent and (I must admit) attractive... that seems like a perfect combination to make people want to do good things for you. :-)EDIT:
Ahh, on review I think I see the problem... drop the boys and find a man instead. :-D
Mankind is inherently selfish.
Oddly enough, for being an incredibly critical and pessimistic person, I believe the exact opposite. Humanity is inherently selfless. What screws things up is society.
If I see someone drowning, I’m going to jump in after them, even though I don’t know them and it really sucks to get wet, be thrashed upon by their panicking, and possibly drown myself. Reward? Zero. Most people would too, if they didn't have time to think about consequences first.
They aren’t thinking about the building on fire they rush into to save the baby, going to heaven if they sacrifice themselves, getting their 5 seconds of fame, or why it was they just gave up their seat for that pregnant lady. We just…do. Our instincts are to be heroic.
Unfortunately, a number of factors I won’t come out and name grind that out of us at every opportunity. People want to be good in their reflexes, even if their conscious brain doesn’t know it.
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Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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People want to be good in their reflexes, even if their conscious brain doesn’t know it.
I agree, wholeheartedly. I believe that it's a person's upbringing that determines whether or not they have their moral compass set to the "good" direction. If you have scum for parents, daddy's in prison for murder, mommy's a drug addict, and grandma could care less about where you go and what you do....if no one teaches you right from wrong, then you have a lower probability of doing the right thing.
Luckily, my parents instilled in me a very clear sense of right from wrong. Plus, if I end up doing the wrong thing, I have a HUGE guilt trip. HUGE. I just tend to try to apply the karma/Law of Three thing to make the choice easier, and kill any doubts about my actions later.
Example: Did I REALLY need to return that guy's card, and not withdraw a little something for myself? No. I'd probably get caught, fined heavily, and then end up with a criminal record and even LESS money. Call it rational justificaton, or karma or Law of Three...same diff.
Yeah, I don't even know about the upbringing theory. Someone in my family (not naming anyone) grew up in a pretty bad situation; dad was an alcoholic, mom didn't give a shit, only his aunt cared enough to make sure that he at least had a bowl of cereal three times a day. But he managed to do really well for himself.
If you've ever played Planescape: Torment on the PC, the main theme of the story is the question: "What can change the nature of a man?"
"All right, once, there was this old man that found himself sitting in the mud at this crossroads. There was a hideous crone in front of him and he had no memory of who he was or why he was there.
'You have had two wishes, what is your third?', asked the crone.
The old man scratched his head.
'Well, I wish to know myself.", he replied.
'Funny," said the crone,' That was your first wish.' "
Mankind is inherently selfish.Oddly enough, for being an incredibly critical and pessimistic person, I believe the exact opposite. Humanity is inherently selfless. What screws things up is society.
If I see someone drowning, I’m going to jump in after them, even though I don’t know them and it really sucks to get wet, be thrashed upon by their panicking, and possibly drown myself. Reward? Zero.
No; they're rewarded by being secure in their knowledge that they're a good person, not an uncaring bastard like the rest of the masses are. No one does anything just for the hell of it. The only reason anyone does anything is that they are recompensed in some manner.
Society sure as hell doesn't help though.
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.I'll echo the universally wise words spoken before me further up the thread.
Also, why would anyone not be nice to you? You seem extremely nice, intelligent and (I must admit) attractive... that seems like a perfect combination to make people want to do good things for you. :-)
Gotta agree with GentleGiant here. Some people are just idiots. Ignore the idiots.
Things that suck:
That it's been 3 years, 4 months and 14 days since I had a job.
That it's been 3 years, 4 months and 14 days since I got sick*
That I've been dealing with the State, local and Fed for 3 years, 4 months and 14 days for assistance and they say no!
That every day I wake up feeling like crap.
That my body constantly aches.
That I don't have a normal sleeping schedule anymore.
That up until 3 years, 4 months and 14 days I had been living on my own. Now I have to depend on others for the basics.
That I run an almost constant fever, but the good news in that I can walk out in the winter weather in shorts and not have to worry about being cold(summers suck though).
The fact that no one in this town wants to take a risk on hiring me.
*** spoiler omitted **
Sorry if this was to long or too rant like, but I had to vent. Sorry again
I'm sure you've looked at a lot of your options, but have you inquired at your local Goodwill? I used to work at one in my area; it's a crummy job, honestly, but it's at least a wage and I believe full time employees can receive benefits. They always need people to sort through clothing and they have job training programs. Goodwill does a lot for folks with handicaps and disabilities, physical, mental or otherwise. It's a dirty, tiring job and sometimes you have to put up with real jerks, but it's out there and if anyone's going to give you a job, I'd bet on them or a similar organization.
No; they're rewarded by being secure in their knowledge that they're a good person, not an uncaring bastard like the rest of the masses are.
Aha; but I am an uncaring bastard. Ask anyone!
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.I'll echo the universally wise words spoken before me further up the thread.
Also, why would anyone not be nice to you? You seem extremely nice, intelligent and (I must admit) attractive... that seems like a perfect combination to make people want to do good things for you. :-)
Gotta agree with GentleGiant here. Some people are just idiots. Ignore the idiots.
Everyone has been telling me the same thing, and I really appreciate the kind words. My brain knows that I've done nothing wrong and that he's a child, but it's another matter to actually feel that way. My best friend said to try again in five years, if I feel like it. It still sucks, though, to be continuously disappointed in the males I meet.
Though, the lovely Paizonian manthings I know always give me a little bit more hope that maybe not all guys are retarded all the time. :P Thanks guys!
yeah, I had a friend got hit by one while crossing in a crosswalk; then about 2 years later; got killed by a drunk lady - now get this as I am not making this up - he was in a flippin theater watching a movie and the drunk cow drove her car right off the street into the theater and through the concession area into the seats and crushed him; and she didnt even go to flippin prison.
and the flippin theater is in the middle of the flippin block!
so now we got nothing but memories and prayers for my friend James Malone; it sucks and it aint right.
Great thing is life: she didn't kill anyone.
My friend's dad (we were 9 years old) was a morning jogger and he got crushed by an idiot just like that woman. Dead.
I don't even know if they gave her a dui test. Even though she said she had a few, the police report is conveniently absent of any mention of 1. possible pain killers or 2. alcohol. She was just reaching over into her purse while she was driving. It's very convenient to be friends with cops.
But, yeah, no one was hurt and they're going to pay for the property damage one way or another.
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Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.I'll echo the universally wise words spoken before me further up the thread.
Also, why would anyone not be nice to you? You seem extremely nice, intelligent and (I must admit) attractive... that seems like a perfect combination to make people want to do good things for you. :-)
Gotta agree with GentleGiant here. Some people are just idiots. Ignore the idiots.
Everyone has been telling me the same thing, and I really appreciate the kind words. My brain knows that I've done nothing wrong and that he's a child, but it's another matter to actually feel that way. My best friend said to try again in five years, if I feel like it. It still sucks, though, to be continuously disappointed in the males I meet.
Though, the lovely Paizonian manthings I know always give me a little bit more hope that maybe not all guys are retarded all the time. :P Thanks guys!
I checked out your Myspace and just to let you know....If I weren't married....
You are interesting in every way. Music, style, friends. You have an aire of difference about you. You aren't like 'normal' girls and that is what makes you interesting and cool. You also are darn attractive (my wife is an ex-model so I have high standards here).And you game, which always adds at least 2 points on the 1-10 meter.
Young men seem to overlook the good ones.
Stop looking and you will find your one true idiot. (we men are all idiots on some level).
;p
Vaccum Cleaners
The Troll
Well, there are a lot of not retarded guys out and about, you just need a better weed sorter to weed out the deadbeats and like; wish I had a suggestions for you.
Love your character avatar by the way; hehe cool chick level 6 :)
Sucky thing of the day: boys who are not nice to me.I'll echo the universally wise words spoken before me further up the thread.
Also, why would anyone not be nice to you? You seem extremely nice, intelligent and (I must admit) attractive... that seems like a perfect combination to make people want to do good things for you. :-)
Gotta agree with GentleGiant here. Some people are just idiots. Ignore the idiots.
Everyone has been telling me the same thing, and I really appreciate the kind words. My brain knows that I've done nothing wrong and that he's a child, but it's another matter to actually feel that way. My best friend said to try again in five years, if I feel like it. It still sucks, though, to be continuously disappointed in the males I meet.
Though, the lovely Paizonian manthings I know always give me a little bit more hope that maybe not all guys are retarded all the time. :P Thanks guys!
Did someone throw a pheromone grenade in here?
Did someone throw a pheromone grenade in here?Why? You feeling randy there skeleton boy? ;)
Yoohoo!
When she's unhappy, I'm unhappy.
Cheer her (and yourself in the process) up:
1. Appeal, citing the need for a more thorough review.
2. Attend another college for a year or two, then transfer. Getting in via transfer is much easier than applying as a freshman.
Or you could get her some flowers and sex her up real good.
Or you could get her some flowers and sex her up real good.
That always works on me; I like flowers.
Well, look who beat the odds! Despite the extreme rarity, the results of my biopsy say I have thyroid cancer. Things are going to move fast now; oncology consult tomorrow, PET scan and chest x-ray later this week. Pretty much a definite they will remove my entire thyroid because of the size of the second tumor (to quote Shatner, “It’s big. Really big.”) and the possibility it has spread, followed by an irradiated iodine cocktail, and pills for the rest of my life to replace the missing hormone generator. Sucks, but what-ev. I hope that it hasn’t leaked, but the tests will tell for sure. Good news is there is only like a 1% chance I won’t be able to talk again after the surgery, and the doctor seems willing to crank my dosage enough to return me to my “normal” state of hyperthyroidism (which is normal to me).