gran rey de los rural's page

21 posts. Alias of gran rey de los mono.


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lisamarlene wrote:

...

PSA TIME, FAWTLERS: THE GUMMINT IS PUTTING SOMETHING IN THE WATER. DON'T SHAG FOR A WHILE UNTIL THEY MOVE ON TO ANOTHER PROJECT.

...

That's why I only drink recycled urine. Not my own, of course. That would be disgusting.


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captain yesterday wrote:

So, I had lunch in the General's hometown yesterday, because her whole family went off on these "great places to eat" and wow, was it TERRIBLE!

Even more inedible then White Castle, or Old Country Buffet (I've gotten food poisoning three times in my life, twice from Old Country Buffet).

Hey now! There ain't nothing wrong with a little White Castle from time to time. There ain't nothing particularly right with it either, but there sure ain't nothing wrong with it.


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captain yesterday wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Woran wrote:
Its super warm today. I feel miserable.

I know what you mean; it might break 70°F today.

Oh, wait. No I don't.
(Ducks and runs, as usual)

Yeah, well I'm done trying to sell you all for warmer weather, you people clearly have no monetary value.

I'm pretty sure I'm worth about a dollar three ninety five.


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lisamarlene wrote:

I'm having the problem that my husband, my kids and I all have the day off and everyone is annoying the snot out of me.

*offers a giant box of tissues for all the snot*


But then the pigeons don't have a clear target...


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That there is some pow'rful nekkidness. It done skeered erryone away for fer and a haf hours.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
The best thing about living in Alabama is that it's the first choice in the dropdown box when you are entering your address online.

The down side is you have to live in Alabama...

(also I think their is some law that requires you to marry your cousin.)

Pfft. Like the people in Alabama are worried about the law.


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*revs truck engine*

That's right, ya'll. It's a HEMI.


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Or you could just never wash it. Just dip it in a diluted bleach solution every couple of weeks to kill the germs, and you'll be fine.


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Freehold DM wrote:

Because I'm tired and my eyes can't track, I misread this as "from slaughter comes joy".

Which made me worried.

Well, slaughtering pigs leads to bacon. And bacon brings joy.


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Chromantic Durgon <3 wrote:
How does one get involved in play by post? Would y'all recommend?

First, you get a post. Most people will tell you that a 4"x4" is plenty big enough, but I find that a 6"x6" is much better. Then you carve your stats into it with a chisel, make sure it's plenty sharp so your writing is legible. I think you can figure it out from there.


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Like many young men, I had a crush on my 6th grade teacher. Unfortunately, I was home-schooled.


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*plows the field, if you know what I mean*


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lisamarlene wrote:

...

I said I want to go out for dinner, someplace that isn't counter service only.

This sounds like a job for Steak 'n Shake!


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I may not know much, but I do know that I thank God everyday that farts aren't contagious like yawns.


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Oh, and we had chowder. Not like clam chowder, but Southern Illinois chowder.


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What's so odd about it? Just because people would hold birthday parties, anniversary parties, family reunions, wedding receptions, and the like in a cemetery? Seems perfectly normal to me.

And our church youth group (led by my father, the pastor) would have a party out there every Halloween. We'd roast hot dogs and marshmallows over the bonfire, play tag and hide-and-seek amongst the tombstones, tell ghost stories as the fire died to embers. Nothing out of the ordinary about that!


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Just in case there was any confusion, when I earlier said that "We got evicted from our hole in the ground", I was playing along with the joke that Limey/Four Yorkshiremen had started. It's from an old Monty Python skit.


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We got evicted from our hole in the ground.


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lisamarlene wrote:

It was part of The Game.

"So ya know, I was talkin to Bob the other day, and I said, you know Bob, there's that new sushi place down at the other end of town there, we oughtta try it. They say they got all kinds of fish in that sushi there.
But, ya know, Bob was real disappointed because he asked them for lutefisk, and they said they didn't have that one, and he got kinda upset just a little bit, and he was grumbly, and then he said well then how bout some walleye?
And they didn't have that one either.
And no coleslaw.
Now I ask you. Who would open up a fish place and not serve coleslaw?
Well I can tell you, Bob and I certainly won't be back. They need to learn a thing or two about how we do things in this neck of the woods."

Yah, they should really add catfish to the menu. Battered and fried, of course. Throw in some coleslaw and hush puppies and you got a good meal right there, don't ya know. Classic midwestern sushi.


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captain yesterday wrote:

Oh gosh dare, dat sounds like a pickle, you betcha!

Didja tell Ethel down dare at da market, oh ya!

Nah, but I did tell Myrtle down at tha gas station. You goin' to tha bonfire tonight? It's purty easy ta get to. Just head out o' town on the blacktop, then turn at the Mewes' apple tree, not their oak tree mind. Then take that down 'til after it switches from gravel ta durt and goes through the dry crick. After that, look fer the gate on the left side, it'll be unlocked. Make sure ta close it after ya'll come through. Follow the track out past the beans, down ta tha pig waller, hang a ralph around around the waterin' station, then a hard louie past the old International Harvester out there. Keep going about a half mile, then look for the rest of tha trucks. Should be about thurty or so of us out there. Bring beer.

I kid you not, once when I was in 5th or 6th grade, those were the directions we were given to a 50th wedding anniversary cookout (except for the part about bringing beer, they weren't quite redneck enough to ask my dad, the pastor, to bring beer). Apparently the wife's parents' house used to be out there, and it was where they got married (or hitched, as they put it) so they wanted the anniversary out there.