Vick Tim's page

A fate worse than death.

Was it the method that involved a garter belt or the method that used the shame hat?

Have you not been drinking?

*sigh*

Picks up painting and re-hangs it so that it’s not crooked this time.

Can someone help me out here? I can only seem to make snowcubes.

Did you know that the only reason Hannibal won as many battles as he did was because of his impressively coifed hair? It really is a big booster for troop morale!

Then I was hit by an arrow in the knee at Zama and couldn't be a hairstylist again for some reason. It all went downhill after that.

The next poster was a Medieval plumber.

Parcheesi?

Was where we once lived
Built on a toxic waste dump?
My third arm says “yes.”

I shapeshift into viagra.

The next poster will start off the new page with a truly horrifying statement.

It’s Taco Tuesday in the workroom.

The next poster knows why this statement is horrifying.

Not sure why everyone is complaining. Is any of this new?

Huh. Wednesday already?

*Notes roiling inferno where right hand used to be.*

Yup, it’s Wednesday all right.

The next poster is also having a mundane Wednesday.

I was at a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I’m Hiding In Your Closet was shopping in the “beyond” aisle. We shared some idle chitchat, and then he bought his Death Ray and left.

Really, I don’t know what I expect things to go my way at this point.

The next poster is also disappointed in reality.

... that's not hair.

I really have to drinking potions given to me by mysterious old strangers.

The next poster has found the cure.

Why would you think that I’m allowed to watch movies?

If I said “a typical Tuesday in GoatToucher’s workroom,” would that change anything?

If I said it wasn’t you, would you be upset?

What if we've grown used to taking it some more?

Thanks for all the fish
But I’m allergic to them
Fish make me gassy

How could I forget?

I wad imprisoned in GoatToucher's workroom for 5000 years. He considered it a holiday bonus.

I remember meeting GoatToucher when I took the wrong turn in a corridor and ended up in a weird room. He took a look at me, and offered me a job application.

Eh. It's a living.

Not a bad cellmate, all said an told. It was nice rooming with someone who's perversion had something resembling limits, and who actually slept.

The next poster was a cellmate with me in a different prison.

Couple thousand Thursdays ago, I think.

Ko-Ko the Not-Quite-So-Bold-As-Sir-Lancelot

Who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet herself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

With GoatToucher, it's the only way to be sure he is disinfected.

The next poster lost their marbles somewhere inconvenient.

I give a puppet the most deadly sword in existence, and people just discuss music genres for the next 11 hours.

That... sounds about right. I must admit to being slightly impressed though.

Edit: I prefer soft rock an classic rock.

Your first mistake was assuming that people have an attention span that's longer than a goldfish's.

*Takes out a bottle of beer, pops the top off, takes a drink, and waits for the inevitable to happen*

The next poster is good at fighting Pit Fiends.

vick every time I see you I feel something bad is about to happen and that i should separate myself from you.

I know the feeling.

Mmm hmm

Apparently you can use it to hurt monsters in addition to all the sex stuff. Who knew?

The next poster is skeptical.

It's not the kind of thing you can get out with dish soap and an old rag.

I know from personal experience.

Beautiful? Looks like someone's puked on that win. Multiple times.

Person Who Gave Me Tacos That One Time

Hey. Here on GoatToucher's behalf, since he has things to do. Let's get this over with.

The next poster foresees some complications in the rescue mission.

It involved too many sleepless nights and not enough overtime pay. It is kind of nice to be called an artist, though.

The next poster is in despair.

Nah.

WOAH here he comes!
Watch out all
He'll feel you up!
WOAH here he comes!
He's a GoatToucher!

Unfortunately, employees of the workroom aren't allowed to be affected by wishes.

Upper management said something about not allowing the shame to be so easily escaped or something like that.

* casts epic version of Modify Memory on Vick Tim, removing all traces of GoatToucher and accidentally erases half of Vick Tim's other memories in the process *

Did that help?

Not really. The half you erased included the one good memory that I have.

Well, had.

Wish my mind worked like that.

They were going to call it Vick Tim's Law at first, but then Murphy stole all the credit at the last moment.

Story of my life.

Now my bit is... eh, whatever.

Somehow, I ended up as one of the stakes, and yet no one won me.

Not sure if I should be insulted or not.

It's not actually the worst thing that's happened to me this week. Being able to play a double-necked guitar is kind of neat.

The next poster was the butler this whole time!

Story of my life.

I wish I was allowed to relax on weekends.

I try to avoid wind of any kind as a matter of principle.