The Topper's page

Tornadoes here too. My house crushed a witch. Fortunately, my homeowner's policy covered that. Nationwide truly is on my side. And hates witches.

That's nothing! My house crushed three witches, and some noble dude from Scotland!

Though now my floorboards keep prattling on about double trouble or something. Oh! It probably means double points! Score!

This sounds like my kind of fellow.

You WISH you could pull off this look.

Orthos wrote:

Sissyl wrote:

Do as I say because if you don't, I am going to have to eat your br... ummm... report to your parents?

Because I am the Authority here and that alone should be enough for you to respect and obey me despite me doing nothing whatsoever to earn it.

Do you want me to earn it?

No, because I did first.

Announces actual victory and claims top-of-page post one post too early.

Oneups your oneupmanship!

That's because I am an expert. At everything.

The next poster is in awe of my superior talents.

Yeah and that's nothing compared to the other stuff I can do.

The next poster is pretty awesome, but that's nothing, I've got better.

Yeah! Me! Old Billy couldn't write for beans. So he nabbed my stuff and scrawled his name on it!

The next poster can't keep up.

Oneupmanship

This blitz, this blitz is nothing! This one time, I blitzed so hard, the servers exploded! We were hosting in rural Russia at the time, and everybody thought it was a meteor strike! Nope, me! All me!

JRR Tolkien wrote:

Lets get real folks, We all know that Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Orcs and Hobbits are the races allowed

Well I want to play an orc barbarian working against Sauron for all the atrocities he committed against him and his people in life.

And not fair! You let Joe play the weird hobbit with a template and verbal tic. If he gets to play a guy who yells "GOLLUM!" every few seconds I want something special too.

Don't play with this guy, he's the ultimate railroading GM. He offed my awesome fighter because I was outdoing the ranger, who he decided was going to be the big hero.

That's nothing! I drank a whole keg of absinthe to erase the memories of my comrades dying in the torture cubes of Zulhad.

Kryzbyn wrote:

Please don't bring in tech that lets you win the setting.

k thanks.

LOL. Ask Lynora about the kerfuffle we had back in the day about that .... It spawned a whole realm and this character.

That's nothing! Last time I got into a fight with my buddy, he threw a tantrum so I smacked some sense into him. Now you people are calling that smack the Big Bang or some other nonsense.

My buddy? We called him Lucy back then. He's still sulking from our fight.

I'm having coffee with Jim Butcher right now.

That's nothing! I gamed with J. R. R. Tolkien. Yeah, before the game even existed. Gygax? Yeah, guy ripped me off.

It was me. You think this is something? It's nothing! This one time, I crashed the entire Internet.

Yeah. Anonymous? Pansies. Hobbyists. Amateurs.

I'm an ornery b+*$~, but only ironically.

Oh yeah? That's nothing! I'm an ornery b!&@# but only ephemerally!

That's nothing! I used to have OVER EIGHT HUNDRED Rivals. Then I beat 'em all in a simultaneous pop quiz-game show-duel to the death-climb up Mount Everest and they all dropped dead. So I encased their bodies in stone, carved their faces in the rock with the power of my will and my bare, bloodied hands, and shipped the lot of 'em off to Easter Island.

Worshipping your own sculpted abs is a religion, right?

It's what I do. You should worship mine too. They're better than you in every way.

... on my Bluff check.

People don't believe my tales of my amazing exploits!!

That's nothing! One time I flipped a lightswitch and blew a fuse, and down went the failsafes and up went the nuclear reactor!!

That's rough buddy. >_< Hope things get better for you soon!

And, I also don't believe you, like the whole band story, and all the rest of your stories that just keep getting invented as you need them.

I mean, this is an excellent example.

"I started in AD&D"
"Well I started at redbox!"

That's nothing! You know that guy Boromir? Yeah, he was mine. Then John Tolkien called me a stupid powergamer and ganked me with his OP gang of orcs. I called shenanigans. He booted me out of his stupid game and made my character a boorish dumbass in his stupid book.