The Next Poster...


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WE HAVE A VERY HAPPY MARRIAGE.

THE NEXT POSTER IS FACEPALMING AT THIS POST.

Dark Archive

So who really created you? Humans or Nature?

The next poster knows the answer.

Scarab Sages

Nature's "benign neglect" style of parenting, and Human greed, malice, and idiocy. Next question? That one's been open-and-shut for at least 30 years.

The next poster is a riddle wrapped in a mystery shrouded in an enigma and lovingly frosted with glucose.

Sczarni

If a male were to cuddle a succubus, would death come 1st by the constant cuddle or by what a succubus does with her attacks? We must see

The next poster will be our test dummy #1 in said cuddle experiment.


No, please, no! Help!

Next poster, help! Please!


Succubi are banned from this thread!

The next poster will make Red Shirt #44 look like a succubus and then swing me at him!


Okay... Horns, fake t@&!, twenty pounds of costume jewelry. No masterpiece, I admit, but meh. You do look like something vaguely femalish dressed as a succubus. We don't have all the budget in the world, ya know?

*picks up Ban hammer and starts stalking #44*

Next poster will interfere in a disastrous way for all involved.

Dark Archive

*becomes a grease spot on the ban hammer as I try to save the red shirt*
*Wakes up with no one remembering my death.*

The next poster will successfully save Red shirt #44


*Medium portal with hand coming out grabs redshirt #44 and pulls him in before closing.* Saved from Sissyl with Banhammer.

The next poster knows what horrible things happened to redshirt #44 after this "saving".

Dark Archive

That's what popcorn is for. :)

The next poster is also watching.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Ugh, ow, yikes! I didn't think that was possible with a wooden baseball bat, a bouquet of daisies, a pair of goldfish, and the driver's side door to a Delorian. But the one thing about all of that that really annoys me was the waste of perfectly good cheese. TFF, couldn't you and your minions have used some other food? Oh well, bring on #45.

The next poster will discover the rest of the ban tool set to accompany the hammer and reveal them.

Liberty's Edge

Behold! The bansword, banaxe, banflail, banmace, banspear, banglaive, and banspikedchain!

...Tools? What use would I have for tools?

The next poster and their party of 2-4 companions is due for a duel! Like the ban set, your weapons are forfeit to me!

Scarab Sages

BEHOLD: THE BAND OF THE BANNED!

DARTHBUNNY: This scourge of World of Warcraft's Barrens chat will eviscerate your every grammar and spelling error with the ruthless and total efficiency of a Sith Lord!

SABU: The LulzSec mastermind is back for revenge! He'll dox you, shox you, and expose your soft underbelly of slimy evil for all the world to see!

CHELSEA MANNING: Hell hath no fury like a transsexual scorned - she's stood up to worse, been through A LOT, has the adoration of billions backing her, and she's not about to let the likes of you get in her way!

LOKI: Though the full legitimacy of the lore may be questionable, there's no denying that nothing says 'BANNED' like being shackled to a rock in an underground cavern and sentenced to have a snake continually drip agonizing venom onto your face...at least until you break free and make a rocking revenge comeback aboard a massive ship crewed by dead warriors and constructed from countless finger- and toenails. IT'S PARTY TIME!

The next poster was designed to be Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With, but something went wrong.


I decided to become a dead horse beater!

The next person will aid the Band of the Banned in stealing the Bantools.

Sczarni

You mean these bantools and banweapons we took days ago? We have no need for such things but we have a few succubi who will cuddle you for your right to use them.

The next poster is first to cuddle


Because I feel meta. And am immune to their drain abilities.


Bzzzzzt. Kill! I am second. Proceeds to kill any living organism that comes within 60ft.


I am not a living person. Yay!

The next person is and wants to disarm us.


Alot not sure what all fuss is about. Alot just want be left alone.

Next poster explain for Alot.

Grand Lodge

Alot has pointy teeth

the next poster like beetles

Sczarni

Oh yes we love them. They are crunchy on the outside and slimy on the inside.

The next poster is the mighty Cr500cricket


*is painted blue and wearing a red wig. The effect is... Questionable*

Bwahahahahaaaa. I am CR500Cricket!!! I am in this thread and you can't get rid of me.

Hahahahahahaha.

The next poster has discovered something about succubi that UDS might want to know.


It's not so much a discovery as it is a recently declassified documented occurance.

Succubi have silently studied and deviced methods of killing the UDS in ways they cannot avoid with resistance, immunity, DR, skills or whatever they'll try to come up with.

The new UDS= Unimaginable Death Sequence

The next poster has the job to clean up after the succubi were done with the execution of their devious plans.

Sczarni

It's a livin'.

Next poster is doin' somethin' that deserves a broom up the @!&#.


Of course. It's the only thing that motivates me these days.

The next poster would walk 5,000 miles and then 5,000 more with a parsnip clutched between their bum-cheeks, but only for their chosen charity.

Sczarni

For the charity of everyone else's benefit

The next poster wants to see us perish.


You are already dead. Now if you were a certain cricket, that would be a yes.

The next poster toots when he/she sneezes.


Someone thought it would be a brilliant idea to download a pack of sound effect files. Unfortunately there was a biiiiiit of a mixup while extracting the files, and now all my processes have funny associated sounds. You wouldn't believe some of these things! Who makes these? Who has the time for this? Who....

Ah....

Aaahhh....

Waaaaahhh....

WAAAAAAAAAAAH-<CHOOOOO CHOOOOO>!!

Seriously!

Next poster, don't suppose you know how to fix this? I mean, I could figure it out on my own, given time, but we're kind of in a hurry, or that's what I'm told, so... yeah.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Let me install this file...
Nope, that was the Anti-life equation.
Here, let's try this one...
Nope, that's the Anti-death equation.
Maybe it's this one...
Nope, that one contained the meaning of life.
OK, who messed up my files?
Oh well, let's just wipe out your programming and re-install the factory defaults.
Uh oh, um, oops.

The next poster will reveal what the factory defaults are and will reveal who was responsible for mixing up my files in the first place.

Scarab Sages

Blue. Everything is blue.

Wallpaper? Blue dolphin panorama.
"Wait" cursor? Sonic the Hedgehog doing his "I'm waiting" thing.
Music? Blue (not "blues" you understand, the music is blue).
Excel? Records everything as various shades of blue.
Screensaver? Novelty GIF of the Clinton family as Blue Man Group.
Blue Screen of Death? You mean ULTRAVIOLET screen of death....

The next poster has the greens.


Yes i do. Making quite a profit on these stoners.

The next poster knows one of these stoners very well.


Yes I do. Dr. Stoner supplies me with my special medicine for my glaucoma.

The next poster has discovered a way to remake the Dungeons and Dragons movies using real dragons so they are actually good but will forget to feed said dragons.


Yes. Silly me. But look - there's succulent, tender Channing Tatum! And oh dear, I've locked the studio gate so he can't run away (this time)! Well, accidents *ahem* will happen on set.

The next poster will attempt to out-scenery chew Jeremy Irons.


...I give up. Sorry.

The next poster will at leat try.

Liberty's Edge

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Mwhahahahah! Fools! You face the mightiest swordsman in ALL of the Multiverse! You face Me! GILGAMESH!!

Long have I sought the blades of legend, searched across the lands of East and West! I have battled foes of great renown and monsters of infinite barbarity! Defeated the ravening hordes and singlehandedly overcome the greatest of armies! I have traveled across endless universes and seen many lands! I no longer believe in the existence of impossible!

And now my search brings me here, to you!

But enough expository banter! It is time to fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!

Come and prepare to be utterly overwhelmed with the ancient combat styles of a thousand masters! Kneel before your superior and know that defeat is your only destiny! I am Gilgamesh, warrior of endless blades! Your weapons are forfeit to me!!

Next poster, you are my opponent! Prepare to face my wrath!!


*yawn*...if that 1/2 foot poodle is to be impressive think again.
*Firebolt*...hotdog.....

*Disintegrate Gilgamess*.......have your troops scoop you up will you.

The next poster found the disintegration somewhat poetic.


Shall I compare thee to a thin, green ray?
Thou art more lovely and do more than 2d6 points of damage per caster level, if I shoot thee out of a supersonic cannon.

The next poster knows who really wrote "Shakespeare's" plays

The Exchange

Yeah! Me! Old Billy couldn't write for beans. So he nabbed my stuff and scrawled his name on it!

The next poster can't keep up.

Sczarni

What's going on. We were too busy thinking about succubi.

The next poster was able to keep up.

Scarab Sages

Shakespeare's plays? Psh. Who do you think wrote the Rig Vedas, the Tao Te Ching, AND the Book of Coming Forth By Day?

The next poster will explain the difference between a nice person, a good person, and a watchmaker.

Dark Archive

I'm nice, Paladins are good, and Watchmakers tend to die.
The next poster plays table hockey

Sczarni

Yes, but like France, we only win when playing against ourselves.

The next poster easily beats us

Dark Archive

I'm Canadian what do you expect?

The next poster is also Canadian


Cheesehead, actually, though there are times I wish I were borne north of the border.

The next poster found a strange black box the size of a breadbox. They will tell us what they found.


THE CONTENTS OF THE BLACK BOX ARE ABOVE YOUR USER PERMISSIONS LEVELS.

THE NEXT POSTER WILL SUBMIT TO THE COLLECTIVE. GLORY TO THE MANY.

Dark Archive

If many means me, sure

The next poster will serve me for a year and a day


Anyone for tennis?

The next poster thinks I cannot be serious.


Say whaaaat? You kidding me man????

The next poster has razed the house of Justin Bieber, with Bieber still in it and will describe to us how glorious it was.

Sczarni

After we stormed the house, making enough noise to give him hours of prep time, we had some of our drow grapple, pin, and tie up Justin Bieber. We then left him tied up and left in a closet with 2 feminist succubi. It took hours but Bieber finally succumb to the succubi before the succubi succumbed to how worthless a kill he was and died.

The next poster is working on creating a website for the feed of this event

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