Derail Otherwise Decent Topics With Monk Balance and Atheism


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I want to make my next PC a Monk from Rahadoum.

Please help me make him as amoral and overpowered as possible.

now we wait

Silver Crusade

Just wait for the forum Nazis to pounce on this one.

This thread deserved an early Godwin.


Pie is better than cake, anyway


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

Get some tea while you wait, and remember that tea should have milk in it - poured in after the water.


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" I find monks are easier to balance on naked atheist strippers"

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

I can't bring myself to post anything I could consider posting here.


"But, You posted"


Demon Lord of Tribbles wrote:
"But, You posted"

Because fighters can't have nice things.

Liberty's Edge

Ah, yes. So comforting to find someone else who starts their day with this mantra of contrarianism!


Have you considered having your monk hail, instead, from Bachuan?

Vive le Grandfather Pei Thought!

[waves little red book]


Evil Lincoln wrote:
Demon Lord of Tribbles wrote:
"But, You posted"
Because fighters can't have nice things.

"But they have booze and wenchs! Wenches! what more do you really need?"

Liberty's Edge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012

I just finished popping some popcorn.


HAIL DISCORD!!!


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Why is this thread 2.5x cost vs. a thread about religious Fighters?!?!

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Will my paladin violate his code of conduct if he doesn't kill your monk?


I have it on good authority that a Paizo staffer has an opinion that differs from mine.

How unprofessional!

pressure release thread operating at acceptable levels... tweak levels falling


SMITE HIM


We all know that Paizo has a personal agenda against Monks. Otherwise they would have unarmed strikes that are as lethal as the greatest sword ever, THE KATANA. By the way Paizo also hates Katanas because if they were to stat them out REALISTICALLY they would do 20d20, and have the vorpal ability without being magical or even masterwork. Monks and Katanas are the bastard children of Pathfinder. :(

PS:If you don't capitalize Monks and Katanas you are a hater, and a terrible human being.


Did you know there's only one letter difference between Monk and Mook?


Ensirio the Longstrider wrote:
Did you know there's only one letter difference between Monk and Mook?

There is hidden wisdom here.

Even the weakest of us can become the most powerful, and the most powerful of us can become weak given the proper circumstances--long forgotten Monk


But why shouldn't Rahadoumi monks be the best at godless unarmed combat?


Kajehase wrote:
Get some tea while you wait, and remember that tea should have milk in it - poured in after the water.

But if you pour the tea in after the milk it causes a greater turbulance which mixes the tea and milk, saving you from using a stirring device


Rubber Ducky guy wrote:
Kajehase wrote:
Get some tea while you wait, and remember that tea should have milk in it - poured in after the water.
But if you pour the tea in after the milk it causes a greater turbulance which mixes the tea and milk, saving you from using a stirring device

But if you don't use a stirring device you won't be able to stir the tea five times clockwise and three times anti clockwise finishing by tapping the spoon on the rim twice and then you might as well drink plain boiled water!


Kip84 wrote:
Rubber Ducky guy wrote:
Kajehase wrote:
Get some tea while you wait, and remember that tea should have milk in it - poured in after the water.
But if you pour the tea in after the milk it causes a greater turbulance which mixes the tea and milk, saving you from using a stirring device
But if you don't use a stirring device you won't be able to stir the tea five times clockwise and three times anti clockwise finishing by tapping the spoon on the rim twice and then you might as well drink plain boiled water!

Counter stirring your tea like that will upset the tannins, destroying the delicate drink.

You might as well drink coffee


Mmm Coffee, what a great idea!

I actually drink my tea and coffee black with no sugar...


They should be like 4th edition and make monks psionic so then they'll be overpowered. hachachachacha!!


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<jazz hands>


But but but... what alignment would a godless monk have if he didn't attack a wyvern? Or drank his host's milk?


Player entitlement run rampant!


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Monks are liberal, socialist, godless killing beasts. Their disbelief fuels their Ki. BTW, Monks are overpowered killing machines that need to be nerfed.


Monks should cease their lecherous philandering ways! This will avoid a flurry of Misses...


Ensirio the Longstrider wrote:
Did you know there's only one letter difference between Monk and Mook?

Yeah, Paizo spells it that way intentionally, to keep the Monk down.

Anyway OP, for your Atheist Monk build I recommend the Antagonize feat, it lets you shoot while prone.


We should constitute a special committee that will request the Paizo to answer FAQ about flurry of conduct in a way that specifically support our way of playing and officially condemn any other style of game.


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If your monk worked at McDs, could he serve a flurry of flurries?


Why Monks can't take 20 on their unarmed attacks!
Why paladins can't use UMD to simulate the LG to access their abilities while being of any alignment they want to be?!


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Paladins can be of any alignment and access their abilities as long as they carry a potted plant in their off hand.

Every other class can take 20 on attacks by wearing multiple masterwork backpacks.

Why is there no equivalent workaround for the monk?

Is it because a monk was a bad guest and drank the milk at SKR's house?


lol @ potted plant


I heard that Paizo is planning on forcing every character to have a religion while eliminating the Monk class and letting Wizards cast Wish as a spell like ability at level 1. They are also known puppy haters.

*adds fuel to the fire*


Paizo kicked my puppy and pooped in my Cheerios. SKR and Bullman gave each other high fives while JJ gave me a swirly.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

When JJ gives you a swirly it doesn't really count. He's not the rules guy.


Darth Malice wrote:
*adds fuel to the fire*

FEED ME SEYMOUR


*blink*


But, we really need to know if a paladin who forgets to wash his hands after toilet will fall! And if he doesn't kill the godless monk, will he fall then? If he drinks the host's milk??? And what is the definition of atheism?

The Exchange

The definition of atheism: Not worshiping Sarenrae.


Sissyl wrote:
But, we really need to know if a paladin who forgets to wash his hands after toilet will fall! And if he doesn't kill the godless monk, will he fall then? If he drinks the host's milk??? And what is the definition of atheism?

As per my own personal copy of the "Principia Discordia" Atheism, when broken down to it's base syllables, comes out to this:

A = The first letter of Alpha-Bits cereal.
The = Shorthand for Thermoremanent magnetization.
Ism = I.S.M. I'm So Magical.

Atheism is a belief system structured around the worship of Post Food and their various cereal products.


Worshipping your own sculpted abs is a religion, right?


entropyrat wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
But, we really need to know if a paladin who forgets to wash his hands after toilet will fall! And if he doesn't kill the godless monk, will he fall then? If he drinks the host's milk??? And what is the definition of atheism?

As per my own personal copy of the "Principia Discordia" Atheism, when broken down to it's base syllables, comes out to this:

A = The first letter of Alpha-Bits cereal.
The = Shorthand for Thermoremanent magnetization.
Ism = I.S.M. I'm So Magical.

Atheism is a belief system structured around the worship of Post Food and their various cereal products.

I like this guy. Hail Discord! Or don't.

The Exchange

Oterisk wrote:
Worshipping your own sculpted abs is a religion, right?

It's what I do. You should worship mine too. They're better than you in every way.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

entropyrat wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
But, we really need to know if a paladin who forgets to wash his hands after toilet will fall! And if he doesn't kill the godless monk, will he fall then? If he drinks the host's milk??? And what is the definition of atheism?

As per my own personal copy of the "Principia Discordia" Atheism, when broken down to it's base syllables, comes out to this:

A = The first letter of Alpha-Bits cereal.
The = Shorthand for Thermoremanent magnetization.
Ism = I.S.M. I'm So Magical.

Atheism is a belief system structured around the worship of Post Food and their various cereal products.

HERETIC! No TRUE Discordian tolerates structure!

Liberty's Edge

You are all WEIRDOS.

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