Nethys

Skiron's page

389 posts. Alias of I'm Hiding In Your Closet.


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...It will just have to stay here, and so will you, because you can NEVER leave! BAAAAH-HAHAHA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

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*pouts*

I don't know whether to be disappointed or intrigued...ah, well, there'as always the OTHER 'Old Reliable'!

*unsheathes obsidian ritual dagger*

How would you like to meet the Gods...!?!

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*blasts Fish-Penguin-Malkovich with his signature...*

...SHRIVELING spell!!!: 12d4 + 21 ⇒ (4, 2, 3, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 4, 3, 2, 2) + 21 = 49

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PENGUIN...!!!

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Dedrick, The Professor wrote:

Because you've been away for so long, your Cheese Shop has been sold off to a butcher.

It was GoatToucher who sold it, so you know it went for a great price.

*shows up wearing a blood-soaked paper hat and apron, waves an even more blood-soaked hand while holding an oddly-immaculate obsidian ritual cleaver in the other*

I DO hope the baker and the chandler keep stubbornly holding out...I much prefer a hostile takeover!

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First, I would sacrifice 139 humanoids to Yog-Sothoth, then I would drain their blood into a 5-dimensional alembic, then raze an Iomedan church, then turn a king to gold, then sacrifice HIS family to Yog-Sothoth, and waitwaitwaitwaitwait I'm sorry, did someone just ask me a question...?

I'm in the market for some enchanted legwear; what would you recommend for one such as myself?

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AAAAAAAHHH, I just got mauled in the eyes by a blasted -HAMSTER- (it is a good thing I keep so many spares...!)!!!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Nyarlathotep.

Nyarlathotep who?

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Skiron-Man (a genius, wealthy, man-about-the-planes misanthropist wisely and proudly sacrifices his heart for great power, and then sets out to scour the realm like a terrible plague-wind - because *giggle* that is what *BUAHUAHUAHUAHA!* HEROES *snkxzrt!* do, is it not?!?)

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

"...[T]he true test of a mad scientist is how much worse you can make things go wrong."

― Vernon Von Grun, City of Villains

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

ULTIMATE "GEEK-LOVE": H. P. Lovecraft was a virgin before marriage, and prepared for his wedding-night Rites of Spring the only way he knew how: By gathering up lots and lots of books on the subject, and reading them all - fully-functional and Al-haz-red in multiple techniques!

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male Tiefling Antiquarian 9
Spoiler:
|AC 23, T 14, FF 21|HP: 75/75|F +8, R +7, W +6 (+6 vs fear, +2 vs gaze/dream/phantasm, +1 vs confusion/insanity/WIS loss)|Init +2, Perc +7?|CMB +7 CMD 19|12/12 Starspawn

Delicious mush...!!! *pulls out an obsidian spork*

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Cornish ram's bladders

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green ooze, distilled

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

*shows up astride a bhyakee while 1d6 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3 nightgaunts wheel in a huge, steaming, mostly-fresh Bowl of Blood*

...This is a chili cook-off, isn't it???

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Not so much a man as...a BLANCMANGE!!!

The next poster has a most creatively wicked use for an army of gigantic man-blancmange hybrids!

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

Shine a light in Ripto's ear, and you can wave bye-bye to your hand.

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male Tiefling Antiquarian 9
Spoiler:
|AC 23, T 14, FF 21|HP: 75/75|F +8, R +7, W +6 (+6 vs fear, +2 vs gaze/dream/phantasm, +1 vs confusion/insanity/WIS loss)|Init +2, Perc +7?|CMB +7 CMD 19|12/12 Starspawn
GM Erich wrote:
“Sorry, the boss ain’t in right now. I can take your order, though. Just step right up to the counter here.” the man says.

"Yeah, can I get a Double-McZombie, extra embalming fluid, hold the bilious humors, with a side of Crawly-McHands and a large liquid nitrogen?...Yeah, make that all carryitselfout....whaddya mean you don't have a licence to sell spirits?!?"

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Ahhhh-hee-hee-hee-hee, JUST THE THING!

*deftly decaptitates lead fairymonkey with a backstroke from an obsidian dagger, takes said head and runs it through a laminator before affixing it atop a canopic jar filled with a set of nearly-fresh lungs - WHOSE lungs remains unclear*

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*SHRIVEEEELLLLLLLL!*

One -fewer- creepy RED thing *giggle*!

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*ominous theme music begins*

Fully-Operational Battle-Station, standing by! WITNESS MY POWER!!!

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"Science is built on the shoulders of the greats who came before us, but mad science is built upon the hard labors of morally challenged fiends willing to do nightmarish things to bring the final logical horrors of reason gone mad to fruition."
- Vernon von Grun, City of Villains

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Sometimes I think
When I look up, real high,
That there's such a big world up there
I'd like to give it a try...

...But then I sink
Because it's here I'm supposed to stay
But I get so lonely down here
Tell me why does it have to be that way?!?

UP THERE! There is so much room!
Where babies burp, and flowers bloom!
Everyone dreams, I can dream too!

Up there, Up where the skies are ocean blue
I could be safe and live without a care up thereeee!

They say I don't belong,
I must stay below alone
Because of my beliefs
I'm supposed to stay where the Evil is sown.

What is Evil anyway?
Is there reason to the rhyme?
Without Evil there could be no Good,
so it must be Good to be Evil sooometiiiimes!!!

UP THERE! There is so much room!
Where babies burp, and flowers bloom!
Everyone dreams, I can dream too!

Up there, Up where the skies are ocean blue
I could be safe and live without a care,
Live without a care,
If only I could live UP THERE.
I wanna live there, I wanna live there, oooh live up there! Ohh!
I want to live up ***THEEEEEEEERRRRRRE!!!***

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...but that is not dead which can eternal lie!!!

Moral Standard: The REAL strong have no need to prove it to the phonies.

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Takes forever, too! It's been MONTHS!

The next poster has a brilliantly wicked idea for the next global pandemic!

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...with other people's hands!

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Edible Derangements

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*gently places a bag of hard corn kernels on ground*

I'll be back for these shortly...*SnKZ-RT!*...

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*stands in the back somewhere, inhaling sharply through a crystalline straw-like apparatus pointed - precisely along the path of a major interstellar ley line, no less - at the back of Vidmaster7's head*

...*sudden worried look in crossed eyes directed down at straw*

Fortitude save vs starvation: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25

*coughs politely a few times* Ah. A-ha. Hmm, perhaps it is time I cut back....

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*sneaks up on Vidmaster7 opposite AM TARDIGRADE, obsidian dagger in one hand, Can-O'-Shoggoth in the other*

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It's called a dimensional anchor, you great woolen untermensch - heard of it?

*summons a flight of Nightgaunts to tickleport Pulg all the way to the Rub' al Khali*

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Oh, Chuck Lesssssss...

...*AVADA KEDAVRA!!!*

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*slaps Pulg*

*with the interior of an adamantine waffle iron*

*that had just been plugged in and active for a full 13 hours*

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*points at the shoggoth (or rather, at the hole in the floor it was last seen creating)*

What?!? IT did it!

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Oh, I am NEVER bored!

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*suddenly, a 15m-radius shoggoth crashes through the roof (sounds crazy, no?) straight onto Comte de Malodor, then takes his flattened body, now plastered onto its side, with it as it promptly continues bouncing through the castle*

That is my answer to your question, Msr. de Malodor.

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

*shows up again, now hefting something he didn't have before: a heavy, jingling sack oddly covered in static-clinging mothballs*

Apologies *hee-hee!*, I was just *long, scary facial tic* having a deLIGhTfuL tête-à-tête vis-à-vis some *a-hahahaha* mutual annoyances of ours...

...now, to demonstrate my Culinary Arts acumen!:

*blasts and blackens Dedrick, The Professor with his signature shriveling spell but only so much before conjuring a fire vampire to rapidly slow-roast the remains while he rehydrates them via the most delicate and loving means*

...now season with some hearty essential salts and peppercorns, and there you have it: Pot Roast Von Dedrick!

...

Ah, and by the way: I understand there's recently been a vacancy in the Chemistry department?

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

I think Vidmaster7's policy on trust is as follows: "my length of trust grows as my beard does!"

That's what I think anyway. Personally, don't trust people as far as I can throw them!

A wise man, Count!

*telekinetically throws Vidmaster7 out the window...*

...how many yards?: 5d100 ⇒ (90, 69, 46, 61, 79) = 345

Hm. I suppose we can trust that one!

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OHH, COUNT HEYDRIIIICH...!

*front door suddenly swings wide open, and in roughly the time it would take for a medium-sized anthropoid to move 60 feet, a long, thin shadow crosses the threshold, preceding a tall, thin, rain-drenched, somewhat heavily-armed fellow with multiple heavy bags*

I...*heeheeheehee*...hear you have *titter* vacancies among your chemistry, astronomy *IA!*, *CH-CH-CH-CH/ah-ah-ah-ah* culinary arts, and *fhfhfhfhfh* medical psychology departments???

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

Dedrick, The Professor once engineered a minotaur out of maize! Ingeniously wicked - and the pun was not even intended!

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I've found you a lovely little place...!

The next poster accepted a cosmic chariot-ride from great hoary Nodens - that meddlesome fool!

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Indeed I do! *conjures a neh-thalggu*

The next poster, years ago now, sold its soul for a bowl of good clam chowder.

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Dear Possible-Honored-Cousin-π-Removed GoatToucher,

I am...ah, having such an inordinate degree of difficulty (yesss) with a particular clue in a crossword puzzle, it, ah, evades even my superlative intellect, a-ha-ha! and I simply know not else where to *tic* turn. The clue, to which the corresponding proper answer is precisely 18 letters long (spaces and punctuation are entirely null for purposes of these puzzles, just to be clear), is:

"First make haste, and drop the 'E', join with ashes' final resting place where 'N' is null, say only then what you get, iterate three, speak that aloud, and there HE'LL be."

Be certain *hrk* to *titter* say it aloud, would you my good man? Just to be certain....

Yours in Damnation, Salvation, Beatification, and Perdition,

A Connoisseur of the Great Old Ultra-Violence

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...the Bozone Layer!

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GoatToucher:
GoatToucher wrote:
13/13 Bela Lugosi's dead.

I don't get it.

6/10. The "skullcap" comb-over shall always be the height of fashion for corrupt and wicked clergy and takes undeniable skill! Well done!

-1 for your otherwise-tawdry dress-sense. I simply do not care for it.

-3 because of my eternal disdain for clergy of almost any sort - even the wicked!

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*draws massive sigil under starlit sky*

Will you allow Mi-go?

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Dear, Sweet Uncle GoatToucher,

Having said that you "appreciate a question of a more theoretical nature, rather than practical", I now submit to you onesuch that could be either or both, namely: How many +3 Dancing Pins can be firmly nailed into the head of an angel?

Yours In Acute Professional Interest,

سيد مفتاح الفضة

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I don't want to die...or particularly to Un-die (though that would likely be the preferable).

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

*shrugs*

I didn't mean to make you cry.

*smiles - which only makes it worse*

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow....

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Belphegor wrote:

Death

Ah, but this has been thrown into hot dispute by Alhazred's Theory of Indefinite-State Circumstance-Receptivity!

*wistfully* Oh, Thrice-Greatest Alhazred, truly you left us all far behind in the race to face the Truth...

*suddenly realizes he has just walked past New York's Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art*

...MOMA!? Oooooooooohhh!

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If you will not bow before a sultan, you will COWER BEFORE A BEAR!!!