I think you did an amazing job Tcho Tcho.
Since her family is very important to her and suffered tragedy, surely it should also be mentioned but not without hope at the end of the dark tunnel. It's at least mentioned that she still loves her brother and hopes he can be restored. In other words as long as one has hope in their heart there is always love and light at the end of the tunnel. But how to write it? In fact from Night of Frozen Shadows we get this:
"Holy Text
Melodies of Inner Beauty is the holy text of the church of Shelyn. It contains the history of the goddess, including her family, though drawing a veil over the nastier elements about Zon-Kuthon. It tells stories about Shelyn and discusses her church's dogma. Music is used throughout as many of the tales are set as songs and hymns. Other artistic ways of interpreting the words are also utilized, such as dance and poetry. Other divinely inspired works also exist, some going into more detail about Dou-Bral and Zon-Kuthon. "
And her Dogma:
"Dogma
Beauty
Before she became the goddess of love, Shelyn was flighty and shallow. Since discovering the capacity intelligent beings have for loving people and things that lack beauty, she tends to look for beauty in everyone and everything. “Beauty comes from within” is a relatively recent saying she introduced to Golarion, and it’s a philosophy she not only practices herself, but she requires from her clerics. In this way, it’s quite possible for a physically unattractive person to become a cleric of the goddess of beauty.
Shelyn’s is a unique beauty unparalleled in the multiverse. She is (now) beautiful both without and within; all who see her see what they envision as the most perfect beauty (meaning she appears different to everyone). Depictions of Shelyn, regardless of race or ethnicity, show her as a young woman barely out of her youth, with eyes of blue or silver. Shelyn's ankle-length chestnut hair bears several strands colored bright red, green, and gold. She always wears tasteful clothing and jewelry that accentuates her beauty without revealing too much of it. [from Erik Mona & Jason Bulmahn. (2008). Gazetteer, Paizo Publishing, LLC. ISBN 978-1-60125-077-3]
Shelyn focuses just as much attention on internal beauty as external, and she is considered also to have the most beautiful personality (which changed greatly when she became goddess of love, such to the point that some wonder if a little of her mother’s personality didn’t meld with hers). Thus, while lesser beauties might inspire jealousy in those who see them, she does not. Nor does she herself feel jealousy when a lesser beauty (i.e., any other) receives attention. She encourages the growth and appreciation of beauty, regardless of its source or admirers, and thus she is never jealous. She surrounds herself with flowers, colorful birds, artworks, and other things of beauty.
She doesn't use her beauty as a weapon (and she punishes that sort of behavior from her followers) and gently and kindly rejects all potential suitors. Some call her an eternal maiden (or sometimes, The Eternal Maiden), while others claim she is the lover of several gods, goddesses, and lesser beings. The truth, of course, is unknown. (Darker rumors put her in the bed of her half brother, but such whispered rumors never persist for very long, as Zon-Kuthon does not tolerate such things.)
Art and Music
As aspects of her role as goddess of beauty, Shelyn also promotes the creation of art and the composing and performance of music. The art or music need not be particularly well done, just so long as the creator puts in effort. A naturally-talented person who doesn’t try but still makes beautiful art is appreciated, just not as much as an ungifted artist who struggles for days but still creates something only mediocre. A naturally-talented person who doesn’t try and creates something mediocre is shunned by Shelyn (and by extension, her clergy). Clerics of Shelyn frequently are artists themselves, although those without any talent more often become art critics or collectors.
Shelyn herself has an extensive collection of artwork (mostly gifts from potential suitors or worshipers, and most of which portray her). She also has a massive collection of violins (she is likely the greatest violinist in the multiverse) and a secret one of glaives (given to her by Zon-Kuthon or his followers as a sort of dark joke).
Love
As the goddess of love, Shelyn encourages the proliferation of the feeling in all its forms. She is not the goddess of sexuality, lust, or fertility, and makes a very clear distinction between love and sexuality (although she does not in any way discourage erotic love). The few paladins who worship her practice courtly love, with female paladins attempting to win the attentions of attractive young noblemen (or sometimes, attractive young noblewomen). Shelyn and her clerics treat homosexual love as equal to heterosexual love."
[Note: All information in quotation marks " " come directly from http://pathfinderwiki.com/wiki/Shelyn#cite_note-CMR-p18-5 ]
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Now for adding some lines for the Melodies (though they could be edited):
Let not the pain of lost love
Consume you with grief and tragedy
Believe with hope in your heart
That you will be reunited once more
In my halls you shall walk
With your true love embraced
Keep true to your love
And in your dreams hold them again
Beauty comes from Within
From thy heart and soul
Judge not by the thorns of the bush
But from the rose found within
Souls that are lost
Are souls to be found
What can be corrupted
Can be made pure
Believe in your hearts
That evil can be redeemed
Accept them for their flaws
And they'll learn to smile and sing
For one month love a ZonZon doll
And gift this to your "sibling"
In light of Crystalhue
Their dark soul be redeemed
[Note: ZonZon Doll of Forgiveness is from Inner Sea Gods.]
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This is what I have so far could use editing I think.
