Spamwar - I'm flagging as fast as I can but.....


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Silver Crusade System Administrator

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I had that samepicture in my head last night. ^_^

Thanks Sniggs! Both of those guys have been put to the hammer.

Grand Lodge

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This is my banhammer. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My banhammer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. ...


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Lissa Guillet wrote:
I don't think you understand, I pulled out the banhammer when I got up this morning... it needs blood...

Heh heh, this sequence (pic 1, pic 2 [possible spoilers]) from the latest issue of Thor suddenly came to mind. :)

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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<3 New Thor


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This may be a bit late, but... I feel like I need to post this:

"Hellllooooo, spammers! Who takes the Paizo forums... takes the Paizo forums!"

"But, bad news, everyone! Cause guess who?!"

*points at tech team*

"Ha!"

"Now, all of you typing up there in North Korea and spamming the boards, it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still for a minute, because I! AM! TALKING!"

"Now, question of the hour is, who's got the forums? Answer: the Paizo tech team does. Next question: who's going to take it from them?"

"Come on! Look at them! No plan, no backup, with enough banhammers to smack all of your weasely behinds, and, oh, something else... They might lose their jobs if they don't clean out these forums!"

"So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little hubs with your silly. Little. Keyboards! And if you've got any plans of taking the forums, today... Just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day they've ever stopped you! And then, aaand then, do the smart thing."

"Let live, and go away."

What do you guys think?


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IMMA CHARGIN MAH EYEBEAMZ.


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The League of Cliche Villainy also pledges use of our Death Ray, it might take awhile for it to come online however, and that's also assuming those g&+#%#n Hardy Boys stay out of the way....

Technology Manager

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<swings hammer with an almost casual malice>


Christopher Anthony wrote:

On we moderate

The big spammer try to post his stuff on my forum
Try to tell me, tell me he's got more o'em
But I don't really let a guy spam here cause
I got a banhammer and I'm armed real well
I got a banhammer and I'm armed real well
I got a banhammer and I'm armed real well

I wanna grow up
I wanna be Postmonster General
I wanna grow up
I wanna be
So no one posts spam here!

I got the forums in my pocket, try to put me down
Wanna post spam, gotta get out
To the forums, gonna throw down on the forums
I wanna go out

Next crazy spammer gonna get a ban!
Next crazy spammer gonna get a ban!
Next crazy spammer gonna get a ban!
Next crazy spammer
Pow pow pow, pow pow pow, pow pow pow, pow pow pow

I wanna grow up
I wanna be Postmonster General
I wanna grow up
So no one posts spam here

-- Parody of "Lunchbox" by Marilyn Manson

*claps*

And now I'm sad because without the Spammers this funny thread may not continue. *sad*

Dark Archive Software Developer

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Seamstress_Druid wrote:

*claps*

And now I'm sad because without the Spammers this funny thread may not continue. *sad*

All things have their time in the sun, grow old, and pass beyond the veil. Do not grieve that you no longer have them. Rather, rejoice in the light they brought to your life while they were here. In that way, they are never truly gone.


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Or you can turn evil and start sabotaging Paizo to drag the war out indefinitely.

The trick is to drive up to Washington and distract the staffmembers with pastries. I'm not sure what kind works best, but I'll have plenty of time to experiment this May.

Software Developer

7 people marked this as a favorite.

So far all is quiet on the front.

But I remain vigilant.

Technology Manager

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Or you can turn evil and start sabotaging Paizo to drag the war out indefinitely.

The trick is to drive up to Washington and distract the staffmembers with pastries. I'm not sure what kind works best, but I'll have plenty of time to experiment this May.

PAIZO STAMP OF APPROVAL!

Technology Manager

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Julie Iaccarino wrote:

So far all is quiet on the front.

But I remain vigilant.

I had one. One lousy spammer, do you know how much time I spent bedazzling this hammer?

It's so shiny.

Who's my preccccccccious.......

Dark Archive Software Developer

6 people marked this as a favorite.

This is why Cort's office has a locking door. He thinks it's to keep people out.


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Christopher Anthony wrote:
Seamstress_Druid wrote:

*claps*

And now I'm sad because without the Spammers this funny thread may not continue. *sad*

All things have their time in the sun, grow old, and pass beyond the veil. Do not grieve that you no longer have them. Rather, rejoice in the light they brought to your life while they were here. In that way, they are never truly gone.

Mrs. Courts has not responded but I think I might Digitise the Paizo Golem with Warhammer just because of this thread. It will be after I digitize Sophie though. I might add a Bedazzled hammer with Scented Candle. From a Distance, the Golem looks like a nice blue ribbon.

Julie Iaccarino wrote:

So far all is quiet on the front.

But I remain vigilant.

Dawww~~~

Software Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Cort Odekirk wrote:
Julie Iaccarino wrote:

So far all is quiet on the front.

But I remain vigilant.

I had one. One lousy spammer, do you know how much time I spent bedazzling this hammer?

It's so shiny.

Who's my preccccccccious.......

I was going to say "I'm Sorry" but then realized that it's probably a good thing.

Technology Manager

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Christopher Anthony wrote:
This is why Cort's office has a locking door. He thinks it's to keep people out.

I wondered why they never gave me a key......


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Or you can turn evil and start sabotaging Paizo to drag the war out indefinitely.

The trick is to drive up to Washington and distract the staffmembers with pastries. I'm not sure what kind works best, but I'll have plenty of time to experiment this May.

I live in Washington State. Paizo is in Redmond and it's like a 2 hour drive ish North then East or West whatever direction my GPS Says. I wanted to drive there to get my package during one of the Great Golem sales because I didn't want to wait 3 weeks for my package. However you can't do that so I had to wait like everyone else.

Software Developer

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We're on google maps now.


Funny, I was just looking you guys up on Google Maps. Sad about that distance.


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Julie Iaccarino wrote:
We're on google maps now.

I'm enjoying this horsing around. Hee.

Community Manager

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Seamstress_Druid wrote:
Mrs. Courts has not responded but I think I might Digitise the Paizo Golem with Warhammer just because of this thread. It will be after I digitize Sophie though. I might add a Bedazzled hammer with Scented Candle. From a Distance, the Golem looks like a nice blue ribbon.

Heh. I had many plates spinning today—have no fear, I will respond to your email soon!

(Also, it's Ms... Probably too old for a "Miss." >.> )

Technology Manager

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Liz Courts wrote:


(Also, it's Ms... Probably too old for a "Miss." >.> )

Around the office we use "Dark One" or "Please don't kill me"

Community Manager

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Cort Odekirk wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:


(Also, it's Ms... Probably too old for a "Miss." >.> )
Around the office we use "Dark One" or "Please don't kill me"

I'll... I'll allow it.


Liz Courts wrote:
Seamstress_Druid wrote:
Mrs. Courts has not responded but I think I might Digitise the Paizo Golem with Warhammer just because of this thread. It will be after I digitize Sophie though. I might add a Bedazzled hammer with Scented Candle. From a Distance, the Golem looks like a nice blue ribbon.

Heh. I had many plates spinning today—have no fear, I will respond to your email soon!

(Also, it's Ms... Probably too old for a "Miss." >.> )

Yay! Thank you Ms. Courts! (( Also why is it so complicated? Men are Mr. why do women have Mrs. Ms. and Miss why not one for all? Blah English. ))

I am happy to report that I have all the current factions in current artwork digitized and ready for embroidery! ^_^ Also I picked out some fabric to, didn't want to miss out on the sale of otherwise expensive fabric!

Dark Archive Software Developer

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If you're bribing us, there are a few things that might work better than pastries. Jus' sayin'.

Software Developer

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Christopher Anthony wrote:
If you're bribing us, there are a few things that might work better than pastries. Jus' sayin'.

Uh... Speak for yourself, Christopher.


Move to a country with a lower drinking age and you've got a deal.

Dark Archive Software Developer

I stand by my statement.


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Christopher Anthony wrote:
If you're bribing us, there are a few things that might work better than pastries. Jus' sayin'.

Good Sir, I'm a follower of Shelyn not Cayden Cailean. Though I didn't realize that is what BevMo sold as most liquor stores are just called Liquor.

By the name I chose on this Forum I am a Seamstress by Trade and I throughly enjoy Embroidery and I shall dress as my Jade Regent Tiefling and follow the teachings of Shelyn and make beautiful embroidery work and praise to Shelyn as I hand out patches and make something special for Reaper to be all delivered at Paizo Con.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Seamstress_Druid wrote:
Good Sir, I'm a follower of Shelyn not Cayden Cailean. Though I didn't realize that is what BevMo sold as most liquor stores are just called Liquor.

I am known to lift a glass in the Drunken Hero's honor, even if I hew far closer to the theology of another. Passing around a bottle is certainly more socially acceptable.

Seamstress_Druid wrote:
By the name I chose on this Forum I am a Seamstress by Trade and I throughly enjoy Embroidery and I shall dress as my Jade Regent Tiefling and follow the teachings of Shelyn and make beautiful embroidery work and praise to Shelyn as I hand out patches and make something special for Reaper to be all delivered at Paizo Con.

I look forward to making your acquaintance and seeing your handiwork.


I look forward to meeting you too, Mr. Anthony.

And now I bid goodnight as I have to wake early for Jade Regent.


The spambots still threaten to crush our allies/rivals at FFG… RALLY!!!!

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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Christopher Anthony wrote:
If you're bribing us, there are a few things that might work better than pastries. Jus' sayin'.

Oh yes, there are plenty of ways to say thank you.

Paizo Employee Software Test Engineer

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Takes up guard near the door while the rest of the party gets some rest.
I'm not sure what soundtrack to use tonight...

Dark Archive Software Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm planning on some Pretty Reckless, myself.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Or a little Adele? (Rolling In The Spam) ;)
 
 
 
 
 
♫♪
There's a spammer posting on these boards,
Making a desp'rit pitch, it's bringing me out the dark.
Finally I can crush you straight away.
Go 'head and post that stuff and I'll banhammer you.
See how I remove every piece of you.
Don't underestimate the things that I will do.
♪♫


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Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Or you can turn evil and start sabotaging Paizo to drag the war out indefinitely.

The trick is to drive up to Washington and distract the staffmembers with pastries. I'm not sure what kind works best, but I'll have plenty of time to experiment this May.

KC, I'm not sure it'll work on the rest of the staff, but if you show up with this clip and something decent to play it on, you can probably distract Lisa and Vic in 1m50s increments.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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I'm getting the strange sense that that clip is a somehow trap.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

That clip is a trap. A trap made of awesome, with beautiful visuals, fantastic words, and it sends a shiver through my Star Wars-loving soul.

Paizo Employee Software Test Engineer

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Christopher Anthony wrote:
I'm getting the strange sense that that clip is a somehow trap.

That's not a trap! Now this, this is a trap.

Dark Archive Software Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Last one, I promise

"Thnks Fr Th Spmmrs"

I'm gonna make em bend and break
(You sent spam to me unbidden)
Make a post but swing the banhammer
In case PMG doesn't show.
(Swing the banhammer, swing the banhammer)
And I want these spammers off my boards,
But it's the spam that make banhammers come to life.
"YOU BUY NOW SOME BAMWAR"
If that's the best you got,
Better put your fingers back to the keys.

[chorus]
One night and one more time:
Thanks for the spammer guys
Even though they weren't so great.
"He posts like you only spammy,"
One night, yeah, and one more time:
Thanks for the spammer guys, thanks for the spammer guys
"See, he posts like you only spammy."

Been looking forward to the spam posts
But my banhammer's getting mad
And these messageboards
Are always awesome except for (except for)
When you look into the spam (look into the spam)
One night stand off (one night stand oh)

[chorus]

They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers
In cubical writing badass webpages.
Get me out of my mind, I ban you off of these boards.
I'm a hammer away from smashing you into the void, whoa!

[chorus x2]

-- Parody of "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" by Fall Out Boy

Originally wanted to do "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore, but... that's a LOT of lyrics

Silver Crusade Contributor

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Wow.

I stopped reading this thread because I assumed it was just for reporting spam.

I have erred.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Kalindlara wrote:

Wow.

I stopped reading this thread because I assumed it was just for reporting spam.

I have erred.

Comedy helps with the late night duty. Glad for any laughs our antics may have garnered.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Kalindlara wrote:

Wow.

I stopped reading this thread because I assumed it was just for reporting spam.

I have erred.

To err is human.

To arr is pirate.

To rrr is cat.

To urr is succubus.

You have urred. Probably more times than I can count. ;)

Silver Crusade Contributor

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Chemlak wrote:
Kalindlara wrote:

Wow.

I stopped reading this thread because I assumed it was just for reporting spam.

I have erred.

To err is human.

To arr is pirate.

To rrr is cat.

To urr is succubus.

You have urred. Probably more times than I can count. ;)

Is it just the avatar?

Or... have you been reading my posting history?

blushes

Dark Archive Software Developer

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♫♪
There's a mod going around taking names
And he decides who to ban and who to praise.
Everybody won't be treated all the same.
There'll be a big banhammer smashing down
When the Mod comes around.
♪♫

This is Radio Free Karelzarath signing off. Good hunting, soldiers.

Scarab Sages

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But...but...if you ban ALL the spammers, how can I get my black magic love?

Software Developer

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Unusual questions to ponder at "too-early" o'clock, *especially* out of context.

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