It's been a full year since I was kicked out of my long time gaming group. Gaming counts for most of the best parts of my life, friends were made, adventures had, and life has been richer because of it. I'm grateful.
Things change however, and after nearly 10 years at the game table, the social dynamic among those I played became quite different from when I had started.
There was a period of time were I felt I was no longer fitting in at the table. I tried to convince myself it was just insecurity as these people had been friends for years, and I still enjoyed the chance to get out of the house for a couple hours a week. Sadly though, my instinct was right, and I should have left some time earlier to avoid embarrassment.
At the start of a late summer game session, one of the guys in the group. Someone I really admired and respect, gave me the talk. Some of you may know this feeling when you are fired from a job. It was just like that, only rather than a job, it was friendship. I didn't have whatever qualities were needed to fit in, and they wanted me gone.
It was an "Et tu, Brutus" moment for sure, and it honestly felt like someone had stuck a physical knife into my heart.
Things haven't been all bad as a result. The free time has allowed for me to focus on college, and I have stellar grades as a result, but there are times I still miss those nights.