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NOBODY EXPECTS THE WISCONSINQUISITION! Our chief weapon is cheese. Cheese and beer. Our two chief weapons are cheese, beer, and an incomprehensible accent. Our three chief weapons are cheese, beer, an incomprehensible accent, and giant mosquitoes in the summer. I'll come in again...
Diswhat?! Dis NUTS!!!! Wait...that doesn't sound right.
Our DM just sent a group text canceling next Sunday's game because of the Big Sportsball Event before she realized the BS Event was happening the following weekend, not the 5th. I like how "BS" stands for "Big Sportsball" as well as "Bull S~*@".
I can quit whenever I want to.I'm not playing that anymore, it's a stupid game.That was quick. Of course you can. The real question is: Can you want to quit?
Oh, man. Your break lines are at risk of being cut? That sucks! Why can't they take it easy on you and cut your brake lines instead?
I would like to sample your range of free boulders.
I wonder what we're doing today. Same thing we do every day, Pinky. Try to make over the squirrel!
Whew busy night already check in 4 people which is a lot for night shift let alone this year. fortunately i'm already almost out of clean rooms so then I'm done. Vidders!! Go clean those rooms and sell them! Slacker. Why I could use a trencher to pluck the pubes off a raging mammoth before you even wake up in the morning.
Fixed it for you.
Wait...there's a bell toll? F%#*ing taxes on everything nowadays.
I swear you are almost as prepared as Cpt. with these aliases.Close, but not quite.A teenage boy walks into a brothel dragging a dead frog on a leash. He asks the head mistress specifically for a whore with an STD. The mistress is confused and asks the boy why. The boy says, "Well, when I go home my parents will go out and leave me and my little sister with a babysitter. The babysitter will have sex with me and get it. Then when my parents get home my dad will take the babysitter home, bang her on the way and get it. Then he will get home and give it to my mom. Then when my dad goes to work tomorrow, mom will have sex with the mailman and give it to him. And he's the a#!*#&$ that ran over my pet frog!"Anti-Christ is that you? Maybe he was thinking about me.
Of course you realize, I'll now work it into every conversation for the rest of the week. Betwixt building walls and shaving bears.
*shaves an angry skidloader with a bear*
Don't forget me.
*does chores for the Brigadier*
Seems fine to me.
I don't want to interrupt, but I may have found a picture of Freehold in cosplay.
*checks pockets* Nope, no fish heads. Just snake hips and chicken lips.
I think I see the problem. That's supposed to say "Steaming Dump Meal". You need to get a meal that will cause you to take a steaming dump.
Nah, give him a clam-shell bra like his sister.
*sets up pile of pillows*
Doesn't anyone have any birthday stories?
Or bonchon? That was a thing he liked, right?
You can put custom voice boxes in those, right? Can you tell the employee the bear is for the dog to hump, then ask them to record themselves saying "Who's a bad doggy?" repeatedly for the voice box?
Sure, but it will be shoddily made, have poor quality control, possibly contain toxic chemicals, and fall apart inside a year.
Behold! A dog picture so adorable it'll make cats vomit in jealousy! Ahh, the old love story of a dog and his bear. Better than Romeo and Juliet.
*pushes glasses up on nose* I believe you meant to say "f$!@ the cold, b$+$!es". Unless you are planning to have intercourse with chilled women. *laughs snortily*
Perhaps i've gone too far. There is no such thing. You can go Not Far Enough. You can go Just Far Enough. And then you can Redefine Enough.
Dibs on this one. |
