Ironicdisaster's page

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Your average deer has around 11 hp.
The most common hunting weapon would be a short bow.

Average damage on a short bow for your standard Level 1 human commoner would be 3.5, which means you'd have to not only surprise the deer, but so would your two buddies.

Historically, people hunted in groups, so if they were using short bows, they would need at least three people for each deer if they wanted a reasonable shot at taking it down in one hit. After that hit, the surprised deer becomes a surprised far away deer.

This sounds pretty accurate.

Charging deer is probably not going to work, though.

Parachute backpack!

Cosmo wrote:
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
I miss having a dog now...
Now I do, too.

Me three.

I side with RD on this one.

... I missed you guys.


And sell War Bonds!


Yuengling. Only beer I can drink. I'm new to beer drinking.

DM_aka_Dudemeister wrote:
I for one salute your new Paladin Captain Hammer

Well, sort of. Captain Hammer is a pretentious asshat because he is stronger, faster, and tougher than everyone else. He doesn't even feel pain, and the world has basically treated him like he is a living god.

Vhilo, however, has feelings of inadaquacy because his parents always told him to be more like his brother, who was not a violent, entitled little turd. He is also bitter because his parents sent him to a monastery to have the stupid kicked out of him. So he portrays himself as this paragon of virtue, but in reality, he is really just trying to become as important as possible because he wants his parents to look stupid.


Groupie wrote:
This is his hair.

Edit: Not in Golarion.

Shadow_of_death wrote:

What was the intention of this thread again? What are we supposed to be discussing? As far as I can tell some guy just wanted to tell people what class he was playing, dont think he even asked our thoughts on it.

So getting back on topic, ahem "cool sounds like a fun character for your group, hope your DM has the same view of LG as you do, good luck"

Basically that's all it was. I just wanted to say I was playing a paladin with a crappy personality.

After 5 years of running my own campaigns, I am finally playing in one. And yeah, to throw myself to the proverbial wolves, I have placed my powers at the mercy of my GM and made... *dum dum DUMMMMM* A Paladin!

Now, my take on the paladin is simple. He's LAWFUL Good. Emphasis on Law. Good is pretty subjective.

He started out a rebelious youth who stood to inherit nothing on account of being thr middle child of a merchant family, and also for generally being a douchebag. He has anger management problems and an inferiority complex that make him act superior to everyone he meets.

Not all Paladins have to be paragons of virtue.

TriOmegaZero wrote:
There are no pop culture characters with levels in the double digits. As LazarX said, they don't roll dice, so they don't have to be high level to survive high level challenges.

Lies. See above.

LazarX wrote:
Tom_Kalbfus wrote:
Here's a good one, whay about Peter Pan, is he an elf?
No... he's the boy who never grew up. (At least until he became Robin Williams :)

Robin Williams is a level 13 bard. I have spoken.


4 guys are going to invade the Jedi Training Academy? I don't think you have much to worry about. Just hope they don't ask to meet Kyp Duron, I guess. Do NOT let them get a death star. Or a star destroyer. Or a sun crusher. Or a Mon cal cruiser. Or a corellian ANYTHING.

Hama wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:
Hama wrote:
I played 4E and had fun

I'll have to put you onto my ignore list now.

Just kidding.


In on itself, it is a fun game, when you don't think of it as D&D. Just like when you watch LOTR movies and don't compare them to the books. Pure fun.

I liked the movies better than the books. They ended quicker, and the trauma didn't leave the kind of emotional scar tissue around my heart that the torture of reading the books left. I blame my inability to have a successful relationship in life on my masochistic need to finish Return of the King. JRR Tolkien ruined my life.

Give a a fighter improved unarmed strike. Now, for fast scrappy fighters, there's two weapon fighting. For big powerful bruisers, there is power attack. For precision based fighters, there is Vital Strike. Have a blast with it.

I was really enjoying the spirit of this thread, but then it got put back on track. Now I'm sad.

UltraFennec wrote:

Sounds to me like he's playing a character that falls squarely on the "law" part of lawful neutral. Strict adherence to the letter of the law is, I think, an acceptable LN action. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it unless he starts bending the law.

My 2 cents and all.

Yeah, sounds like LN behavior to me. Was it extreme? You bet! Mean? Yup. Chaotic? Nope.

If the land is far enough below sea level, the temperature scene out as they get close to the Mantle. Perhaps a meteor struck here, gouging a hole in the earth, or perhaps there is a moon that, strangely enough, is shaped almost exactly like the valley...

Mighty Crossbows would be nice.

Lobolusk wrote:
Lobolusk wrote:
I think it really depends on your style of play, and what you want out of a character. and your personality type. i play a luchador grappling fiend monk game wise he sucks but. but he is not there to do max damage he is there for me to have a good time on sunday night and speak in my best Antonio banderas accent
in fact imagine all my posts are read by him. it makes it ten times better

+1 to you, as well!

CourtFool wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
...and what is that? Or did you already make a thread on that? If so, where is it?
Do it with any chicks that are there.

Indeed, sir! +1

mdt wrote:

Druids are a divine class, and thus are getting their powers from their god (see what happens to a druid that wears metal armor).

So, if the companion dies because the Druid is being a jerk to his companion, I don't see his god sending another companion (assuming the nature god is Good or Neutral, an Evil Nature God might consider using the animal as a trap detector to be perfectly acceptable) to help the druid for awhile, as a wake up call. If he's been trying to protect the animal, and just failed, then it's just summon a new animal, and say a few nice words for the previous, who died doing his duty, very honorable like.

Remember though, that the AC that replaces it is one that lives in that local, so if he had a velociraptor, and he's in the mountains in a cold environment, then he's not getting another velociraptor.

I would think that even an Evil nature deity would have an objection to that. I mean, it amounts to torture, and torture is a pretty human invention, which I expect a nature deity to abhor for a few reasons. If Good; because it causes pain unnecessarily, if Neutral; because suffering should be minimized, and if Evil; because how dare you squander my gifts!

Not a moral debate, just explaining how I would see an evil god raising objections.

Ben Stiller in Dodgeball wrote:
This is Blaze, and this is Lazer, and this is Blazer.

Got this story about a FOAF, but it seemed reasonable (or rather, not made up) when I heard it.

Two brothers.
Lemongello. (Li-mahn-gell-o)
Orangello. (ohr-ange-ello)

VM mercenario wrote:
Someday when I have kids, they will have normal-ish first names. But I'll make sure their middle names are as AWESOME as possible. Then I'll always call them by their middle name. My first son will have Dresden, if I have a daughter she'll get Shepard and I'll need a third kid to name Kylar.


If my last name were Freeman, my son would totally be named Gordon.

Wow, such solidarity...

Yeah, it's legit.

I agree that it would be cool if rogues got something all their own. How about we brainstorm, instead of argue?

Shifty wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
We shall let everyone make the obvious joke on their own, yes?

That you have pointed it out will now trip all the overly earnest and literal types in this debate to the fact that all was 'not as it seemed'.


Now, I haven't been here for as long as some others, but never have I seen this take so long.

@the joke.
I'd love one!

AdAstraGames wrote:

20) When you talk to someone at a party, drop a reference from the 1990s and they suddenly look at you like you're their parent's age...

21) When you're talking to a bunch of Lt. Commanders after a seminar you're giving, and realize that NONE of them believe that the Cold War was ANYTHING like what you lived through. It sounds too much like a cheesy backdrop for a movie.

22) When you realize that you remember the Space Shuttle Enterprise, are watching the prep for the last Shuttle mission ever, and nobody has managed to crack the energy cost to orbit problem in a meaningful way...and none of the kids you're talking science and engineering to seem to think it's all that important or interesting of a problem.

23) When you watch people get Ph.Ds, and think "Oh god, they're all -children-."

(I am fortunate. When my metabolism slowed down at 36, I went from weighing 150 lbs to 175 lbs. I've stayed within 10 lbs of that weight since. My hair is light enough that the gray doesn't show. I don't have any major lines on my face...and I can easily pass for someone almost 15 years younger than I am...up until I 'know something' that I shouldn't.)

Okay, honesty time. I am only 25, but sadly, I have most of these problems. My hair is receding...

We grognard movies.

Seriously, how do we keep going and watching crap movies that we liked the first time, but every remake just disappoints us?

Also, when we say "the first three star wars", people assume episodes 1, 2, and 3.

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Bill Lumberg wrote:
Recently, a 22 year-old co-worker asked me if I listened to old rap groups like "Run DNA".

"Which one's Pink?" Is no longer an ironic question from a song.

Axl wrote:
Ironicdisaster wrote:
Axl wrote:

It's the end of a hard day's adventuring. You've finished your ale in the local inn and are just about to walk upstairs to your bed.... But wait, that's a Climb check DC 0. And you're wearing full plate. You rolled a 1. You fall down the stairs and take 1d4 non-lethal damage. That's enough to knock you unconscious....

I've done that IRL...

After a hard day's adventuring? Wearing full plate?

Perhaps your Dex was affected by ... "poisons". ;-)

Well, change "adventuring" to "working" and "full plate" to "pants" and that's it.

Celestial Healer wrote:
For me, I'm looking forward to becoming a dirty old man. They always seem like they are having a good time.


Patrick Curtin wrote:
Kruelaid wrote:
In each eyebrow I have a few hairs that grow REALLY long. I assume this problem is only going to get worse.

Ugh. Ditto. My wife calls it 'Hawkbrow.' I have nightmares of ending up with crazy old-guy eyebrows.

Still it could be worse: ** spoiler omitted **

I've had it since I was 17... :(

W E Ray wrote:

12 years ago I could dunk.

Now I can only grab the rim.

I hate that I got less "game" because of my thinning hair -- it's becomming obvious because when my hair starts to grow out I got almost no game and as soon as I get a haircut women start looking again and even laughing at my lame-ass jokes.

I have to pee in the middle of the night.
That sucks.

But it could be worse:
** spoiler omitted **

Get your hair cut every six weeks. That's the trick.

I hate making a joke about OJ Simpson, abd NO ONE gets it!

Or remembers he was a football player.

EWHM wrote:
I too am a fan of take-10. Being pretty heavily of a simulationist bent, my world model is that most people, most of the time, are doing what amounts to a take 10. Those umpteen drivers on the freeway in front of you...yep, they're taking 10. Most people at their jobs everyday, taking 10. Pretty much anything that people are doing on a regular basis they're taking 10 on. I've also got a rule for 'taking 5' which is when you're due to circumstance or desire doing a really half-assed job of something. People generally only risk spectacular success or spectacular failure when they're near the limits of their competence. Yeah, that guy weaving at 90 mph on the freeway is probably NOT taking 10.


Axl wrote:

It's the end of a hard day's adventuring. You've finished your ale in the local inn and are just about to walk upstairs to your bed.... But wait, that's a Climb check DC 0. And you're wearing full plate. You rolled a 1. You fall down the stairs and take 1d4 non-lethal damage. That's enough to knock you unconscious....

I've done that IRL...

Okay, let's look at it this way. You're a rogue. Level 4 with max ranks in disable device and a 18 dex. That gives you +11 to your roll. And you're breaking into a dwarf's mansion. So far, you're only getting simple locks. Single key type deals. DC 20. Tough for someone of a legitimate bent? Sure, but for you? Nah. Give you a few seconds and it's open. Take 10

Oh, this lock is new. Gonna have to feel this one out. DC 25. Not so hard if you pay attention. Roll for it. First roll, 9. Nope, not that way. Try again. 14! Done!

Ooh, a chest. That lock... Crap. DC 30. Gonna be here a while. Take 20.

A box inside the chest. Wait, what? Does that even have a keyhole? DC 40. Screw it, I'll get a hacksaw.

Some DC a character will know, barring outside influences. "Sure, I could climb that!" DC 15. "Looks risky, let's be careful." DC 25.

That DC 15 wall, however, might just be crumbling at the top. And the DC 25 might be cardboard.

Wretched tears. "I could have lived forever without

Shar Tahl wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
Mark Sweetman wrote:
Aah - missed the clothlike part of it. Nice DM to let you cast it not on just items, but on liquids / solids, et al.

"Even a burning fire and its fuel can be shrunk by this spell."

I'd say that gives a lot of leeway in what can and cannot be shrunk. What is lava, but super heated rock? You'd be hard press to argue that it isn't a form of "fire and fuel."

I would think that lave made tiny would cool quite quickly and become a big chunk of basalt. Most of the dangers presented by lava are when it is in an uncrusted, molten form. I also find it hard to see it as fuel, as nothing is being consumed, nor it it on fire. It is simply rock in a liquid state.

Come on, that's just RD hate

Ravingdork wrote:
Ironicdisaster wrote:
RD, you are my hero.
Did you hear that I swatted 700 giants with my brain?

I did

RD, you are my hero.

Interplanetary travel? Colonize Mars, much?

Kruelaid wrote:
Bitter Thorn wrote:
Steven Purcell wrote:
The most placid resident of the Underworld (Underdark, Paths of Khyber, Darklands, etc.)


If only it was 50 feet long and hungry for human flesh!


In my world, they are!

Jim.DiGriz wrote:
Thazar wrote:
. . . +1 Scimitar. . .
Not usable with Weapon Finesse, unless I'm missing something.

Dervish Dance

Disarming gauntlets is a little too literal.

It'll go down soon enough.

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