Chaos Bag / Backpack Table

Homebrew and House Rules

Some containers from limbo give truly random results when something is pulled out. They are not necessarily something that was ever put in the bag. The only rules are general game balance and possibly being funny. If they should be too big for the bag, they come out shrunken then rapidly expand to full size. Usable 3 times a day. Things put in the bag will seem to disappear. When a 20 is rolled, the current owner can select from the table or anything previously put in the bag.

1(or less): Fumble: The result will be from the disastrous Kender fumble tables. A link will be provided later.
2: Glave: Normal. Non magical.
3: Silver hammer. It's a hand/throwing hammer. Being made of chaotic silver it will bypass a lycanthrope's damage reduction.
4: Trank pistol. There are 3 darts left. Treat as sleep poison but not light sensitive.
5: Banana Peels. Enough to make one ten foot square surface slippery.
6: Seltzer Water: It's carbonated water, so it can put out fires or clean off dirt. 5 shots each of which can do 2D4 to fire creatures or slow an ooze for 2D4 rounds.

7. Icky ichor.
8. Funky fungus.
9. A crate. Roll on Goth Guru's Infinite Crates table for contents.
10. A magic bean. Roll on Magic Beans!! table.
11. As #3, but it's ordinary silver, so will bypass a lycanthrope's damage reduction.
12. Unwashed gym/exercise clothes.

13: Lit torch and pitchfork, so you're ready to join the angry mob.
14: A cracked rotten egg(perfect for casting stinking cloud)

15. A laundry bag containing a pin-stripe suit, patent leather shoes, and a fedora (+2 equipment bonus to Intimidate if all worn together), alongside a violin case containing a straight-razor and a Thompson submachine gun (with fully-loaded drum magazine). So you're ready to join the Italian Mob.
16. A glowing green crystal (illuminates as a torch). If touched to or thrown at a creature with damage reduction, it suppresses 10 points of DR (other than epic, piercing, blunt, or slashing) for 1 hour. It bursts apart into glowing sparks once this occurs.
17. A chaos emerald, except it has 10 charges and does not regain charges. It automatically loses one charge per day. It also absorbs and suppresses all spell manifestations on the plane it's on. They just don't happen. People can still see visible casters casting and can still try to identify their spells based on seeing that... but there's no manifestations other than ones specifically listed in the spell being cast. When the emerald runs out of charges, it disappears.
18. A strange book. Roll on the 100 Books Found in the Strange Library table.
19. A fine, porcelain bowl (1gp) with silver spoon (1gp) containing ice cream. Roll on Goth Guru's Ice Cream Flavors table.

20: The bag user select what they get from this list, or something previously put in the bag.
21: Win Button. The wearer does 3X damage, all subdual.

22. A [Quall's] button token (shirt) (50 gp). It looks like a shirt button and functions as a feather token. When activated, it turns into a nice, clean shirt (10gp value). Quall experimented with buttons before his feather token idea took off. He planned to have numerous tokens sewed into his shirts and coat to pull off as needed, but his wife got tired of resewing and stitching up his shirts... so he tried making a token that made a shirt before dropping the whole idea.
23. Bag of 100 silver coins. They're normal silver, but if these exact 100 coins are in a bag, that bag can be used to bypass a lycanthrope's damage reduction. Damage as an improvised medium weapon (1d4).
24. The shield of wonder.
25. A small rock. Unfortunately, this is actually a giant boulder and it rapidly expands to a 12-foot diameter obstacle. The holder can make a DC 15 Reflex save to drop it quickly in an adjacent square (even if thrown, it expands quickly and drops into place). Any creature in a square where the boulder expands (excluding the bag owner if they already saved), needs a DC 15 Reflex save or take 2d6 damage as they're crushed a bit before being pushed away.
If the holder failed their save to drop the boulder, they are crushed underneath it for 3d6 damage and must roll on Goth Guru's Things Found Under a Rock table. Ignoring any result that isn't them.

26: Result of Santa bag of holding. .

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Goth Guru wrote:
26: Result of Santa bag of holding.

That was real thread necromancy you did there.

27. A hardened puddle of melted candlewax with a wick sticking out. It does not detect as magic and, if lit, it burns like a candle for 1 hour and the wax reforms into a fully intact candle as it burns. It goes out after that time and is otherwise a completely functional normal candle that can be reused as such. It only does this once, being ordinary melted wax afterwards.

28. A syringe containing an ambiguous substance. Roll on Goth Guru's What's in the Bottle table. These will mostly be things you definitely don't want to inject into yourself... but that should be the case with any random needle and syringe you find laying around. Craft: Alchemy can potentially identify the substance (DC varies). There is a 20% chance the user accidently pokes and injects themselves as they draw the syringe (DC 15 Reflex; negates; +2 to save for heavy gloves or gauntlets).
If you're a [cuddly] GM, you can substitute the Potions table for less lethal/fun results.

29. A cryptic container. Roll on Goth Guru's What's in the Bottle table.

30. A cryptid container. Contains a shrunken cryptid floating in a suspension liquid. If the bottle is broken or breached, the cryptid resumes it normal (deceased) size. Determine randomly what type of cryptid it is, or roll on Goth Guru's Curious Cryptid table.

Notes on 28. If you inject a piece of metal in a saline solution, the ghost in the metal will try to possess you via the magic jar rules. Properly used Sovern glue as an injectable can stop critical bleeding.

About 30, all urban legends are cryptids. Mothman is a ghost.

31. Quantum marbles (non-magical but detect as chaos). Sometimes called quantum caltrops or quantum glueballs. These eerily gray, slightly headache-inducing marbles are hard to look at and can be spread into a 5-foot space. Whenever a creature enters their square, there is a 33% chance they act as marbles, a 34–66% chance they act as glueballs and stick the target to the floor (Reflex DC 15 avoids but half speed and difficult terrain in that space still), and a 67–100% chance they act as caltrops (ignoring DR/chaotic and ignoring armor bonus from heavy shoes unless they are metal or incredibly hard-soled). They vanish after 5 minutes.

32. A pair of scissors tied to a 2-foot string. Can be untied with a DC 11 check, but it doesn't stop the scissors from working, since it's just tied around one of the handles.

33. A miniature portrait of a toy soldier wearing legwarmers and carrying a bag of flour (2 gp).

34: Random Food.

35: Cartoon hole. Rolled up hole that when put against a wall forms a ten foot long, 6 foot wide, tunnel through the wall. Can also be used as a pit. All GM rulings are final.

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36. A red boxing glove, it's on the user's hand already when they pull it out. It's over any normal-sized gloves they're wearing, but any other bulky coverings or gauntlets are now in the bag and must be drawn later (or this result again for the same user). The boxing glove has an iron horseshoe inside that converts the damage it deals to lethal. The user is compelled to shake it out immediately after the first time striking someone. 10% chance that it's a lucky horseshoe.

37. A lacy, duelist's glove dangling between the user's fingers. They are compelled to slap the nearest antagonist in their life with the glove as a touch attack. The attack deals 1d6 (no Str) damage on a hit and the user is immediately compelled to shake the lacy glove, causing an iron horseshoe to fall out despite there being no logical way it could be in there. The first person struck with the glove is compelled to accept a reasonable challenge from the user (DC 12 +1 per point of damage). 10% chance that it's a lucky horseshoe.

38. A 5-foot length of hemp rope (1 lb.; strong transmutation). Anytime someone says the word 'rope' in any language in the vicinity of the rope, it doubles in size (and increases in weight; 2 lbs per 10 feet). The first time this rope is cut, the cutter receives an equal percentage of their max hp in damage, based on the length cut (max 50%, because that's the farthest you can cut a rope from either end). If the cut location is unknown (because it was tied or coiled when cut), roll 1d4+1 x 10% for the amount of hit points lost by the cutter (Fort DC 18; half). After that, the rope is normal rope (in two pieces).

39: Grappling gun. It shoots a grappling hook out on a 100 foot cable. Perfect for swinging over a deep crevasse, or being pulled up to the roof of a building.

40. A stretchy unitard/singlet sized for the user [detects as moderate transmutation]. It's made of blue fabric with orange lettering and numbers. The letters for Paizo University (P.U.) are on the front and back as well as a number that equals the user's max hit points at the time they drew it (this doesn't change later). When worn, it allows the wearer to gain a +10 competence bonus on checks to reverse or escape a grapple or pin 3/day. The wearer is imparted this knowledge as well as the restriction that this only functions when it's the only clothing worn other than boots, gloves, a hood or headband, and a cape (not a cloak). After any strenuous activity or combat where its power is used, it seems inordinately soaked with sweat, grime, blood, or tears and gives a –2 penalty on Charisma checks against others until thoroughly washed. Like actually washing it.

41. A magical disguise kit containing one of the following:
1. Doctor: A white coat, stethoscope, and head mirror. Can pull out small hammer for testing reflexes.
2. Mom: A bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, and hairnet with curlers in it. Can pull out rolling pin.
3. Barber: Curly fake mustache, apron, and comb and scissors.
4. Make-up artist: Curly wig, smock, and bag of cosmetics. Can pull out a powder brush or pancake for bigger application.
5. Exotic dancer: Either veils, big feathery fans, or a headpiece covered in fruit with big, gold hoop earrings. Also has the entertainer's outfit to match that style.
6. Angel: Light blue-white robe, fake wings, and fake golden halo connected to thin metal rod on back of robe. Can pull out a small harp.

The magical outfit takes a standard action to fully apply and allows an immediate disguise check, but using the wearer and the target's opposed Charisma's in place of their normal abilities. Incredible roleplay can adjust this. The effect lasts no more than 3 rounds and any damage inflicted on a target while wearing a disguise or immediately after is nonlethal. The kit must be used within 1 minute of drawing before it disappears.

42. A folded-up umbrella made of pink material. The user can open it as a move action and it grants a +2 shield bonus against one attack. It also automatically deflects or absorbs any liquid attacks as well as orbs, rays, blasts, and direct bomb attacks (which can still cause splash damage) directed at the user. It grants a +2 Reflex save against effects originating in the direction it's facing. These might char or destroy the umbrella, leaving a scorched metal frame behind. Against lightning and electrical attacks, however, any such attacks within 30 feet of the wielder automatically target them and they receive a –2 penalty to saves and cannot use evasion. Electrical attacks delivered by touch, such as shocking grasp, are not redirected (though the user still gets the –2 penalty against such effects directed at them if applicable).

The umbrella also allows its wielder (when opened) to feather fall once. The umbrella lasts for 1 attack or 1 minute otherwise.

41 is going to need it's own topic, Random Costumes, because it can include Devil costume(includes pitchfork), Wolfman(fangs and claws are soft plastic), sheep, goat, pony, unicorn, the list goes on.

Goth Guru wrote:
41 is going to need it's own topic, Random Costumes, because it can include Devil costume(includes pitchfork), Wolfman(fangs and claws are soft plastic), sheep, goat, pony, unicorn, the list goes on.

Certainly, GMs can also substitute or add to the list:

7. Southern Belle: including day gown, white gloves, bonnet, and fan. Can produce lacy handkerchiefs to wave or dangle.
8. Coach: Either for a sports team or a ringside coach for a boxer. Can produce a water bucket or spritzer and towel to wave/fan in target's face.
9. Gangster: Including big-shouldered coat, low-brimmed hat, and shiny, patent shoes. Can produce a toothpick or cigar to be prominently clenched in teeth while talking except when using it to point for emphasis.
10. Chef: White chef's hat, apron and coat. Can produce frying pans, pots, rolling pins, or trays. Such items may include cookies, muffins, cakes, or dough as appropriate. Wearer's can make a Profession or Craft check related to actually make tasty edible versions. Poison or detrimental effects can't be created (though they can be added to such items if such poisons are available, taking the normal time and actions to perform, such effects are limited to causing sleep, drowsiness, or unconsciousness and any ability damage or drain is temporary and wears off within 1 minute).

43. An IV bag of whole blood. Compatible with any creature (unless they have a specific allergy or reaction to blood). If the needle is injected into any such creature (no damage), the bag drains in one round and replaces up to 25 hit points lost to bleed damage in the past 48 hours and additionally 1d4 Con lost to bleed or blood drain effects within the past 48 hours by the target. It also heals 1d4 hit points lost for any reason (CL 10 or +10 to checks to overcome effects that resist healing but does not detect as magic).

44. Lit birthday cake. Three-layers, random amount of candles (1d100). Might be an ice cream cake. Random flavor or roll on Goth Guru's Cake Flavors or Goth Guru's Ice Cream Flavors table.

45. Warm pie. Roll on Goth Guru's Random Pie table. Can be edible or used as a throwing weapon.

46. Hand mirror (silver)

47. Live chicken

48. Rubber chicken filled with ball-bearings.

49. Sack of bottle caps.

50. Baseball bat (wooden). Treat as club, no improvised weapon penalty.

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51: The entire physical universe. As it replaces the old universe, time goes back to the beginning of the current encounter. Will save to realize what just happened.

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52. The entire meta-physical universe. It replaces the old universe, time goes back to the beginning of the current encounter if one is occurring. All creatures and NPCs now have the elite array of abilities, not just PCs and notable NPCs (and does include animal companions or pets). This is unnoticeable unless indirectly noted (like losing in arm-wrestling to someone you have beaten easily before recently) and NPC casters gaining bonus spells or slots from increased abilities automatically have them as though they always existed. It lasts for 1 week before the universe rights itself.

53. A part of the meta-magic universe. It overlaps the old one. GM picks a random metamagic feat (or roll on Goth Guru's Meta-tastic Metamagic Menu) and all spells other than cantrips are considered to have that metamagic applied to them (if possible). This does not increase casting times but does includes the level increase, meaning many casters will be unable to cast certain spells. Casters that happen to have that metamagic feat already, receive a –1 reduction to the normal level increase (minimum +0). Spells that can't have that particular metamagic feat applied are not increased. This is automatically noticed and understood by all casters when it happens and lasts for 1d4 days before the universe rights itself.

54. What appears to be a long beaded necklace sized for a Large creature. Strangely, it doesn't have a clasp, though there's a finger-sized ring on one end that seems like it would use one, and the beads get progressively larger as one goes along the length, rather than small to large in the center and then back to small again.

55:The character pulls out a script. The characters are now all voice actors. They are at a story conference talking to the head animator, producer, several NPC voice actors, the head writer, an advertising exec., and a studio executive, all played by the GM. They must decide what will happen in the cartoon with the intention of attracting the most viewers, advertisers, ect. When the conference ends the game resumes with the events as discussed. Now is a good time to confront a disruptive player. Try to get everyone on the same page. The cartoon is either a Saturday morning kiddie show, a late night adult anime, or maybe a prime time satire of the genera.

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