Giorgio A. Tsoukalos's page

Aliens, you say?

So I've got to admit, Impus Major has a future in screenwriting.

Remember that project where he was supposed to write about me and he never once talked to me about it or showed it to me before turning it in?

Well, I finally got to see it, and it was an impressive bit of work: He'd made a list of events that had happened in my life, then got the chronology wrong, made up entire scenes around particular events, and really did a magnificent job of making a Hollywood-esque "based on a true story" description of my life.

It was sappy and terrible, and made me sound like a blubbering buffoon, but it was hilariously bad in its inaccuracies.

I liked it.

Maybe a writing internship on Drunk History?

Dragoncat wrote:

Trump. Keep digging that hole, and you'll eventually break the Earth's crust.

Tell me that toupee didn't come FROM BENEATH THE SURFACE!

The toupee was bespoke knitted by the cockroaches from Damnation Alley.

captain yesterday wrote:

begins erecting Easter Island style heads in his own likeness around FaWtL.

*Portentous Super Serious Documentary Voice"

"Look at these stupendous objects, far advanced from the primitive technology the FaWlTies of 2016 could muster. Who do they represent? What were they for? Who could have built them - could they have come...
FROM BEYOND?!"

FaWtLies

Job site was burglarized last night, but there were some anomalies:

1. The only things stolen were a stack of pallets and the key to one of the excavators.

2. Every single deadbolt lock on every single storage unit was hideously mangled (to the point where most of the locks had to be cut out of the doors before being replaced), but they'd taken the time to carefully close all the doors.

3. A number of the stainless steel cylinder locking tabs on the deadbolts were twisted like corkscrews, something that a) I couldn't accomplish with a pair of pliers, a pry bar, and a vise, and b) could only have been done from the inside of each of the locked units.

We may be dealing with an alien entity of some kind.

{smiles enigmatically}

{whistles innocently}

mamaursula wrote:

That's not actually how the algorithm works, if I understand it correctly. It simply matches every item with every other item until all possible combinations are achieved and we unlock the "Get a Life!" badge.

(quietly rolls d20 to disbelieve the algorithm)

{misinformation:} Al Gorerhythm invented SuperStar.

{glares at 'Dingo} HEY! This my schtick!

{knocks gently on SOM's imaginary hotel room door} Housekeeping. You need towels, soap? Top off the mini-bar? If you let me in, I'll change the sheets and make up the bed.

{hearing no answer, leaves morning copy of The Slaad Street Journal and moves on to the next room}

I believe the core of the problem seems to be the mistaken believe that the History Channel is factually informative. While it might have been at one time, the noise to signal ratio is so high these days it generally isn't worth the effort to glean the individual grains of data from the chaff of teh stupid.

We'll all be dead from the water shortages and food wars before we perfect our own robotic doom. And then it'll just be the Earth and her favorite child, Plastic.

Also, Aliens.

On Top of Spaghetti All Covered in Cheese

Hoover and DJ-Bogie are banned for being incorrect about Tirq's coif. I am the one with perfect hair.

Also, because Aliens.

I'm not saying it was aliens ...

Spoiler:

BUT IT WAS ALIENS!

AUUUUUUUGH! An alien Röneaganger of me!

Cousin?

Vidal Sassoon's Greatest Disappointment

SdF is banned for not helping me set up the giant balance. How are we to try Charles Scholz (beware his disco hex!) as a witch unless we can determine he weighs the same as a duck?

*peels off wrapper*

Why do these cupcakes have corn in them?

Aliens.

I farted in the swimming pool. What alignment am I?

Well, minus the gas, you'd now be Neutrally Buoyant?

{waves hand desperately} Ooo, ooo, pick me, pick me.

I'll be your PotUS Puppet!

zylphrx is banned for... being an ancient alien.