Stag Lord

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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32. RPG Superstar 6 Season Marathon Voter, 7 Season Marathon Voter, 8 Season Champion Voter, 9 Season Marathon Voter. 3,493 posts (3,975 including aliases). 20 reviews. 1 list. No wishlists. 17 aliases.


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

"Perhaps there's a god in the west courting the worship of monsters."

Kuruk slips on the armor, "Feels good, lighter than my old plate."

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

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@Allan, for the most part it's a general incompetence be it in one case taking a bribe publicly, one nearly killed a bistander in pursuit of a suspect, more than one washed out for failing 3 physicals, it's a mixed bag of failure.

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no worries, we will keep your spot warm.

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If everyone is cool I'm saying you all return to HQ to discuss your next steps.

Elbin and Spot are waiting for you when you get there, claiming he was promised protection.


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

Detect magic to examine the aura
spellcraft: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19
that is not bad considering how much I suck at this.


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

Kuruk looks uncomfortable for a moment, his gaze meets each of yours a moment, Zaranna's a bit longer than the others. He clears his throat for attention if need be, his posture defensive as he struggles to find the words.
"I did not think I would actually come to care for you people, or anyone."
Great start by being abrasive.
"What I mean is I was willing to do the work, but I figured it was just a job to me when we started. It's not just a job to me anymore.
Crap, am I losing them.
"We have fought and bled together. Saved people together. Watched over each other as we slept. I did not expect that to mean as much to me as it does.

I sometimes think you talk too much when it is time for action and I know some of you might find me standoffish and rude but..."
Why do I have to be so bad at this.
"...know this, you can rely on me. We trust Angus to speak for us when we meet strangers...
Kuruk gestures from Angus to Guujaaw
...or how we all rely on Guujaaw's education and knowledge."
Kuruk gestures to himself and to Zaranna
"...this what I do and what Zaranna does. We ask for that same trust. If we turn back now it will have a cost in innocent blood.
Kuruk looks down for a bit before continuing.
"I did some hard things in the war that I am not proud of, I scouted for men who had let the war take the mercy from their hearts. The men we track are sick in that same way. I am not a hero. But I will not turn back.

Perhaps in facing these men and helping preserve the lives of these elves. I can reclaim a part of myself I thought lost in the war. I'd like to do that with you all at my side, I'd like to kill these villains as a family but if that is not to be it has been my honor to find you as companions.

For what it is worth, I would turn back if this region was unpassable. I cannot make you trust, but I feel that I have to move forward. Our destiny lies ahead not behind."

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big post got eaten on Friday and weekend was bit on the busy side.

So I'm reworking it now because I'm fearful of a TPK.

I statted the Murderbait thing under the assumption y'all would investigate the murder scenes or go in and hear out the lesser evil in Fagen so that when a fight broke out between him and his his former fey ally the CR of the challenge would be adjusted by Fagen balancing things to your side. I'm pretty sure that plan is going to go t~** up so I've adjusted it a bit as you guys can prolly take down Fagen (CR5ish) as long as you keep the rest of the gang from joining in but not the Fey (CR7) without the CR5.

I play hardball as a GM but that's just too heavy. Apologies, though it;s nice to be able to adjust between posts. So sorry about the delay.

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As a heads up going to post a bunch tonight. GF had an emergency last night and I had some issues of my own that carried into today.

Basically:
-Team Murderbait is going into a very dangerous situation that can go in several directions but I'm very happy you remembered to bring cold iron. There's 2-3 twists and an ugly scenario that can lead to party death so I'm making sure my ducks are lined up well. If I pull it off correctly and you guys don't do the worst possible thing we should end up with a solid reoccurring villain being established and some secrets revealed.

-Team Oz you guys played your situation about perfect.

-Team Waterfront, I figured this one might be a fight or you'll might escape as the close it becomes clear it's not a gang it's members of the old watch guard with altered uniforms. Knowledge local 15 would let you know some guys got fired and created a mercenary band. This is them, no magic just a bunch of low level stabby types.


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

"In the eyes of these men what they were doing was to make things better or stop them from getting worse. War is ugly, everyone fighting thinks they are in the right."

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About my GM style:

-Not all solutions are combat solutions, there are usually compromises or alternate options.
-Not everything is statted to be taken down at your level, you can pile up on it with NPC allies or address some threats later.
-Some threats will level with you.
-Some leads are red herrings.
-I'm usually up to something.
-Above all things I favor a good story.

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Team Waterfront:
Murtaugh mentions he's got a snitch on the docks but he hasn't gotten much from him lately, dude seems scared. He thinks seeing the Dwarf and the half Ogre might convince the snitch that the guard is scarier then whoever is scaring him.

If it goes south he's grateful Sven is there to stand behind because he's too old for this s!+$.


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

Kuruk's inner monologue

Kuruk waits listening for a fight to break out anywhere, ready to rush to the aid of his companions but otherwise uninterested in the papers and plans of dead men. He trusts his companions to share loot fairly, thety might be drunkards at times, they might talk too much when it's time to fight but they are like tribe or family.

Where the Dhampir women went off too is another matter entirely, perhaps they found one another and became friends. He mused that perhaps they'd continue to acquire and lose dhampir companions only to later discover there was another expedition with them.

Not for the first time he thinks on Zaranna. The few dwarven relatives spoke of elves as haughty an insufferable, too lanky to be considered attractive, and living on a near hairless line between feminine and masculine.

Zaranna was none of these things. One merely had to indulge her on the topic of drakes and she'll freely share her knowledge and insight. She had a well formed archer's body Kuruk found to be rather feminine, and she was both kind and brutal at the appropriate times.

Kuruk pondered courting her, after a decade or so he might even make a move. Too early to tell. Luckily she wasn't human so there was time.

Kuruk though of his other friends. Despite himself he found he was attached to all of them, even the witch.

"Dammit, I should know better. They live such short lives, it always ends in heartbreak."

Kuruk sighed, best to stay where he was so he could rush to help when it was required.


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th
Zaranna wrote:

Wow. How often do you actually see bathrooms in a game?

GM in another game let my favoite utility wizard invent a spell and later an ioun stone called "Private washroom," I also played her as a germaphobe and constantly asked the cleric to cast cure disease after every dungeon.

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Feel for you, running like 4 games myself and there are a lot of situations like that in the APs.

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New spell Greese kinda like Grease but a little more Geezy

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Bigger post tonight as the baddies, allies and Bistanders act. For narrative flow I may blend them up a bit.

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@Hoch making some alterations to make this more flexible and wis friendly

Detective
Requirements Perception and Sense Motive in class skills with at least 3 ranks, Int 12 or Wis 12 minimum.
Trainees are issued Traveler's Any Tool, Eyes of the Eagle, sleeves of many garments, and an ioun torch.
Full members
-trade in their sleeves for a hat of disguise and reconnaissance gloves
-get +1 languages per rank in linguistics
-Access to the Investigator’s library which can add a +10 to knowledge checks
-Can either swap Int for Wis on perception, survival tracking, and sense motive checks or Wis for int on knowledge skill checks.
OR
-Can use Wisdom bonus in place of Int for bonus skill points.
-half price potions and scrolls

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Dining Hall

Alan pushes forward until the veil of darkness lifts (20ft radius) then continues to plow forward into a charge into the pikeman who was already merely up do to the ferocity of his heritage (nighty-night.) As you cannot intimidate those who have already had their bell rung the enforcer feat is sadly wasted.

Fluffball's sunrod makes it lowlight vision friendly in the ball of darkness.

Tackleberry comes in from the other balcony he's carrying a stonebow.

Balcony

She misses Wheeler.

Wheeler sees the way the fight is going in the Dining hall and that he is out numbered on the Balcony.

Vanaran:

You're right, this has gone sideways.

Ballroom

Sven headbutts the fool that cut into Hightower, a man that has been dazed and intimidated is now also flanked and likely regrettign his life choices.

Still need an action from Milo

Then baddies are up. They had a bad round, another one like this and I'll start making morale checks.

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As a heads up I've invited a few "NPC" players to come in for specific characters and purposes from time to time. One might be showing up at the party soon. Shes a Criminal Defense Attorney from First and Basil a lawfirm of some influence.

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Commandant Lassard stand up before your class, every inch the doddering swashbuckler guard way past his prime.

"Today you begin your first assignment as Cadets. You've been trained in our laws, our combat methodology, and how to keep a vigilant watch. You are our second class in the Citizens On Patrol initiative and much rides on your success.

We start with a simple assignment. We have heard rumors that the rough and tumble gang intends to crash the social debut of Tracey Belladame of the Belladame family. Your assignment is to secure the party and if possible apprehend the miscreants known as the Rough and Tumble gang!

There's another 6 cadets in the class and an overall commanding officer Valasca Callahan.

The Cadets are:
Ace Sweetchuck a halfling who has been good at all written and social tests and bad at every physical challenge. (Best guess is he’s an aristocrat)
Ellana Mahooney high charisma human that’s rather average at everything else, she’s a prankster and it’s often wondered if she’s ever going to apply herself. (she’s a swashbuckler)
Barry Tackleberry half orc weapon fanatic (alchemist/gunslinger)
Ruth Hightower Half Ogre with a sweet disposition, seems to hate violence despite being amazing at it (Brawler/Urban Barbarian)
Gavin Murtaugh Elf by the book fencer academy graduate, tends to ramble about being too old for this s&~#. (Fighter)
Adrian Mulancy Cleric of Erastil has adopted 3 orphans and lives with his husband. HE tries to talk everyone into settling down to a more traditional family life.

Dossiers on the Gang:
Spindleshank Male Drow leader tends to use levitate and darkness to help his crew make escapes. Also seems to be a magus/rogue.
Wheeler Male vanara, most violent member of the gang, climbs allot, seems to be a brawler and has a bad temper
Jade Female Grippli mixed with something aquatic, swims amazingly well, also a ninja.
Pyre Female Monkey Goblin Alchemist, has a giant bat she uses like a hang glider.

About Mivon:
The city looks like a mix of Roman and Gothic architecture with lots of decorative stone work but they also apparently have concrete. Mix in canal ways not unlike venice and you have a urban playground where a chase can be in the water, on the streets, or from rooftop to rooftop.

Tracy Belladame is a 16 yr old wizard heiress making her social debut which is to say she’s now open to be courted in high society. Her party is happening in the penthouse of the city’s nicest hotel the Grande. There are 4 balconey’s 4 stairwells and a roof.

You guys can start on assignment there’s private security as well some of which seem to be off duty watchmen. Valid actions include casting spells, information gathering, positioning, socializing ect.

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I intend to start Wed which gives the few of you with incomplete sheets time to tidy them up.

Your first assignment will likely involve the "Rough and Tumble" Gang. A gang of rogue/brawlers that have been on a parkour crime spree in the city and have evaded the "dandyforms" (which is a derogatory name for the guard recruited from the fencing academies.)

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Flying Pincushion Games as a whole tries to both help break in new designers and be on the innovative end of design. It is a testament to the difficulty level of Kineticist design that it was the first book I've not done any design work for personally, because it both has a ton of player agenda already and most of the places I thought of to go with it were already out there. I'm still going to give my team Kudos as generally this seems well liked even if not so much by EndZ.

We might make some tweaks down the line.

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Apologies, I've been delayed in getting up my official recruitment thread. Workload about quadrupled since Wed. Thread will have some setting building and full rules.

@Alma the Soulborn I have not forgotten that I still need to review that Deathless ghost bit.

@Robert that's about perfect for what you're going for so approved


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

"This is a fine weapon (holding up the +1 flaming), I have magic that can make this (holding up the MW) equal to it. I have encountered others that have called the spell Shillelagh. Like you my focus is to fight from range.

I'm much better at range, eventually I'll invest a little more into melee but at the moment it's not my jam, I'm just ok not actually good.

As Zaranna starts to go off on drakes.

"I'll put some tea on, once Zaranna gets a mind to discuss her quest to reduce global drake populations it means we are camping for the night. With all the injuries I need to call spells for it is perhaps best I get some rest anyway."


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Female Gathlain 3rd level Hex Channler/Winter Witch

"Forget my request let's hunt some orcs!"

Whistles to self, then listens to the sounds of crickets chirping. Hope everybody's alright.


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Female Gathlain 3rd level Hex Channler/Winter Witch

I think we're missing "Investigator Sezelrain"


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

"Zaranna is ever vigilant about local drake populations."


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Male Dwarf Divine Hunter (Hunter) 5th

Kuruk attempts to maintain is dwarven aura of surliness while consuming a burrito, this likely fails.

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Thanks Endz, and good work David.

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I read these reviews with my Monday morning coffee, it was the highlight of what was otherwise kind of a crap day. We put a lot of work into making these, in that we recruit, develop, and wrangle mostly new writers. We've given a few their first shot at being the developer (David did great here) and the profit margin has not really been there. We ultimately break even. We dot his because we love the hobby and love to watch people flourish into design.

Thank you again to EndZ and NJolly, Sethvir & El Ronza I look forward to seeing your reviews. To those that have purchased our work thank you, I hope you enjoy. We have an open door if any of you ever have questions or would like to talk shop.

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I'll second Rasputin Must die- because animated freaking tanks, troops, undead Cossacks, and a final boss that refuses to stay down. What's not to love about that?

Call Forth the Darkness- Want to take your newly minted super villains and build up a lair? F**k yes you do!

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The Stag lord getting murderhobo-ed in his bed after a drunken stupor is actually a fairly common outcome to the first book. Since most of the rest are still around and might not discover the body until it smells (1d2 days if they think the stage lord walked off in the night they are prolly terrified enough of him to not go in his room until the place stinks.)

So if they attack in the next 2 days prolly not much happens differently except maybe the "Stag Lord" walking in the front door at night with the PCs might give a surprise round especially with solid bluffs.

If they wait for staggy to get discovered there's 3 possible contenders to take over:
-Akiros might try and take over but he doesn't have much support likely if he tries he's a dead man, he might also simply leave because why wouldn't he at this point.
-Dorovan has ambition and talent and maybe Auroughs and that druid dad.
-Druid dad would be most competent, if he survives long enough he could reincarnate his son and make this a thing again in later books. Bear in mind if it goesw south Druid dad can turn into a bird and bug out to come back later.


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Female Gripoli 10th level Gestalt Cleric of Callistra/Gunslinger

Hi everyone, I'll introduce Grace a little bit and maybe we can talk about ways to connect backgrounds/why we travel together ect.

Grace would have been content just running a western style whorehouse, not that she worships Callistra. She was run out of town by a mob led by an Inquisitor of Asmodeus who twisted the law against Grace and her girls.

Grace reacted by getting stronger and better. She took vengeance/justice on those that harmed her girls, everyone except the Inquisitor he got away.

Grace has also somewhat made a name for herself as being the one that comes for men that hurt or kill women in general, prostitutes in particular.

That gives some possible tie-ins.

-Maybe one of your characters was sweet on one of Grace's girls and helped my character get vengeance or in the very least we share grief over one. (common grief)
-Maybe that Asmodian did some other crap that harmed you or yours. (common enemy)
-Grace has helped other women, this may mean we share a friend, maybe someone in your background has used Grace's services in the past. (common friends)
-Old Client with no particular attachments to the girls but perhaps enjoyed some conversation with Grace when you passed through town.

I intentionally didn't flesh this out so far that there isn't room to inter mingle your ideas.

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Read this entire thread between tickets at work. Bravo to you and your group NH this has been quite entertaining.

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In my opinion it'd be a little more effective if the Lumber Consortium started as an ally with reasonable if sometimes inconvenient demands.

-Anti Bandit because the bandits are bad for business
-Anti Fey because Fey are bad for business (causing friction with fey allies like tyg and perlivash)
-Anti Monster because monsters are bad for business (causing friction if your PCs ally with any monsters including the kobolds)

Later in book 4 you can have them be Dreslev's closest allies... maybe helping undermine your kingdom a bit until they are kicked out.

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GM_Beernorg wrote:
Ahh Grigori, in our KM game, he insulted our leader and the party witch, end result when he sided with our enemies, our witch put his head in a glass jar and kept in on a shelf, occasionally talking to, mostly taunting, him via speak with dead. Blighter got what was coming to him and his big flapping mouth. :)

Yeah I played that Gregory right after a debate in 2012 where Mitt actually spanked Obama by interrupting and making accusations and keeping the prez on his heels. I used the same tactic to great effect. Players faces were red by the end and I had to remind them it was a game.

They used Gregory's head in a jar and speakw ith dead as a way to get rerolls on knowledge checks...

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Thank you for the review EndZ but I was just a editor/developing partner on this Taylor Hubler did all the design work on the shop and the character and Dylan Brooks wrote the encounter, I just provided feedback and deserve little to no credit here.

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Thank You for your review Garnath, though I have some counter points...

Re rant on prerequisite: This is what 2 seconds in a search bar grants you Volley Fire pretty much if it's up on d20 the criticism of it being obscure is moot. I had made a feat similar to it before and had to rewrite this content because I waited too long to get this over to layout and Paizo Ninjaed me on that feat concept.

Re order of feats presented in the book: Feats are always listed in alphabetical order. This is an industry standard, it is not always reader friendly but it is an industry standard. You're a publisher, how do you not know this? Complaining about this is akin to complaining that Power Attack is listed after Cleave in Core.

Re Pincushion and the term flyer: You have a point however vehicles typically require a piloting skill while the feat injures a flying creatures fly skill check... I think intentions are clear enough but yes you are correct in that "Flyer" is not a game term. Basically this simply expands on the called shot rule that imposes a -2 to fly skill checks.

Re Calling the fire line: This is where you get your caller, the limit of attacks that benefit from the call is intentionally optimizable it is meant for the scene where a line of archers is told steady, ready, aim, and fire.

Re Clustering Volley: Is a group cluster shot, you do not fire with the group you deal with the DR as per normal... not sure why that isn't clear.

Re Dodge this: Calling the fire line establishes who the caller is.

Re Layout: Again you're complaining about an industry standard. Two column layout is pretty much the standard and as a publisher you should already be aware of this. I'll take the lump from your vs the chorus of whinging if I didn't use two columns.

Re Not really useful to PCs: I suppose it can be useful for cavaliers or folk using the leadership feat, but it also is called out everywhere I sell it as being more GM centric. Want something scary for your murderhobo's have them run into 2 groups of 5 5th level teamwork archery focused guardsmen it will put the fear of game back into them.

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You subbed in like a champ Jeff. Thanks for doing this.

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Every round past round 1 few people stick around... the Critique my item thread is usually a good indicator as it starts to die the interest in the contest begins to wane.

I personally stick around and there's a die hard audience but yeah it is a little sad to watch these boards go from a vibrant community to a ghost town.

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I'm bloggy lately but no one talks about this so here you go This is about being a better pit crew ally

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It applies to those still in and those that have been eliminated Don't be that contestant

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Stephen Stack wrote:
Do contestants really have to reference page numbers for monsters? What if they don't own a particular bestiary, even though the monster is on the PRD?

Personally I'd use links as they do not touch your word count and make referencing easy for voters and it is not against the rules.

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Guillowed
How I’m rating monsters:
Creativity: does this seem innovative and original or does this seem contrived? How is the description?
Sneaky bit of treasure in that these stumble around in their noble finery, nice choice. Undead was this year’s monster trope but no one else is walking round with social skills and a new head which gets high marks from me 8/10 for me.
Marketability: are the choices you made smart and marketable to a voting public? Does the name pop?
Name is mediocre but I was hard pressed to come up with something better. I agree with Neil’s assertion that taking it away from the guillotine would have been a good move still overall this would sell 7/10
Trade craft: did you format correctly and scale correct to Paizo standards?
No dings on this for me. The brutal bit of grapple coup de gras is avoidable by a bunch of builds 8/10
Encounter worthy: as a GM is this easy to use and reuse?
The smartest bit is that this can be a recurring villain by running off decapitating someone new and returning to plague the party once more. With it’s superior social skills it can wreak havoc in a non combat sort of way. 9/10
8 out of 10: I’d call this the 2nd best undead though that’s not a ding the undead category had some great entrants this year..

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JPSTOD wrote:

I feel like it was a Total Waste of My Time...

Considering I never saw any ot the Top 32 Items...

Wondering Why I wasted hours seeing the Same items...

Would I like to Win the Contest..Sure that is Why I am Entered..

So what would have been a Better Effort on my Part...wasting time voting or just doing my own thing...

Would I rather design my own stuff and offer it for Sale privately or Even run a Kickstarter..Sure...I believe I would have a better chance of even 1 sale of 1 Item than ever winning here. YES

Judging solely by the item you presented, your reaction to the feedback given, and the general tone of your posts... You have a very hard road ahead of you if your intention is to launch a kickstarter.

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Any new requests for feedback/redesigns on this thread will be honored (even in the unlikely event I win this thing) but not while I'm active in the competition.

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Good luck to all. I think anxiety is natural even for us alternates we likely do not have a dog in that hunt.

Regardless of what happens over the next few weeks we all made it this far which is an accomplishment so kudos to everyone.

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faxmachineanthem wrote:

Green Flash My Version:

Green Flash
Aura moderate divination, evocation, and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 32,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Hewn of green poplar threaded with gold, this +1 liming seeking longbow evokes the rare green beacon which appears in the last moments before sunset. When the bow is drawn, the threads of gold in the wood glow brightly before fading, echoing the sun’s last rays and shedding light like a torch.

Once per day, as a standard action, the bow can be used to target touch attack as the arrow is converted into a shaft of cleansing searing light dealing normal damage (double to undead vulnerable to light.) In addition the light dispels magic as a 9th level caster.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, faerie fire, dispel magic,searing light, longshot; Cost 16,000 gp


Redesign notes:

Kept your theme of the last rays of light and added a more traditioal cleansing theme to that. You do not see truestrike magic items for a reason as they are considered a design misstep. You still faerie fire targets thanks to the liming property.

I also considered going more green and having a curse like effect or the arrow transform into an entangling vine (but someone already did that.)

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Fiendish Zen wrote:
Snowfall

my version:
[/b]Snowfall

Aura moderate evocation and abjuration; CL 11th; Weight 4 lbs.; Price 26,315 gp
Description
The pommel of this +1 frost longsword contains a miniature crystal snowglobe, tiny glittering snowflakes violent and endlessly fall like an eternal blizzard. The razor-edged blade glows with a pale blue radiance and sheds tendrils of translucent mist as it moves.

When used to successfully strike a creature, as a swift action the wielder can expend a memorized spell or spell per day slot to have that creature become sheathed in a layer of frost, causing them to become entangled for a number of rounds equal to the level of spell used to activate this ability. A creature immune to cold damage is immune to this effect.

Furthermore the wielder treats spell and power from the Boreal bloodline or Winter Witch archetype as one level higher.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Rime Spell, resist energy, ice storm; Cost 13,315 gp

I didn't bother with pricing or changing your requirements... This was about punching up a more interesting last power that followed the sword for a mage vibe and reworking the description more economically.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

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Wolin wrote:
Security Blanket

This was pretty close to being top 100/top 32 status but a few design choices held you back so we're going pit crew for this.

1) Great design space in that I have had characters that have adopted or made children the old fashioned way and had to work out logistics of being a parent adventurer. Beyond that there are plenty of pacifistic type character concepts this would work well with. Kudos on that.

2) Now stop beating me over the head with it being a peanut's character's blanket... it's off putting and cost you more votes then it gained. There's a difference between inspired by and cribbing from and this crosses that line when you made it a blue woolen blanket.

3) Change the name... breaks 4th wall.

4) how about you have to tie it around the neck and occupy the shoulders/cloak slot in order for the sancutuary power? Slotless is a different design problem.

5) maybe drop the +4 to saves and add endure elements to worn effects?

This as a cloak would have sold me entirely as is it is really good but not great.

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