Demolition Jack's page

65 posts. Alias of BluePigeon.


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I'm with you!

NEVER! The win is mine!

I have the BLT for the win.

Trips TFF onthe way out.

"For the win."

I swing and connect for the win.

U WUR winning.

Snickers and flinches off the indignity for the win

punts waterhammer for the win and succeeds

punts gnome for a 2 point conversion

I win!

It's winning time for me ya loser!

Demolishes the competition for the win

Punts Vicious Chicken across the NFL uprights

The Kick is Up! 2-point conversion. I win the game.

Zeppelins! Launch!

Drejk wrote:
I count on British keeping their tradition of not being successfully invaded from the sea since 1066.

Then we invade by air. >:)

GRDLD is banned for not appearing in public. Get an avatar will ya!

28036 acts of destruction

I Win! Banzai!

I'm trying to sleep here!!!!!!

You're forcecage is puny indeed.

Dismantle Forcecage with a previously unpublished ability.

There we go. Now where was I. Oh yes, kobold-punting...

Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
*pushes random buttons on stolen prototype weather dominator*
Hey! Thats my job!
Look, zhe world'z a big place, and I'm juzt one kobold. There'z ruum for uz to be in on thiz Fimbulvinter zhing togezher.

Punts Kobold away from the weather domination machine

My turn!

*unleashes a bigger bang and the partial collapse of the multiverse*

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
I'm sick of the rich f$@~s infesting this town, I'm sick of the bad memories, I'm f*$+ing sick of all these cops and drug addicts, moochers, fakers, corporate b$$~+es, mask-wearing actors, whores and politicians. I've got half a mind to roll this city, roll it to the f!$+ing ground, and that ain't the whiskey and beer talking.

Ah Yea!

I like Stabby and Whippy. Best friends I ever had.

Oh, "F" North Korea.

Angel of Violence wrote:
We should get the Jackapult and go rampage through some of the 5e threads. They are getting way to stuffy.

Sounds like fun.

Sara Marie wrote:
Gary: if i tried to push all that info into my brain something important would get squished out

I'd pay good money to see that happen.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack the Stripper wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
This place is dead.
Sorry, that's my fault. I'll try to scale it back a bit.
As I've told you a million times, don't kill the peasants. We need them for the Jack-a-pult.

One movie and its at Red Box, it's called Iron Clad. Has a great jack-a-pult scene. Seriously, check it out while you can.

Jesszilla wrote:

Pulls out rocket launcher, aims at Jesszilla and fires.

Callous Jack wrote:
*checks wallet and sighs in relief*

Found your condom and your brothel pass? I know I had days like that.

Cultist of Jack wrote:
We've been past by the FaWTL people twice now!


Who's that? Who's FaWTL

Jack Hammer wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
I'm going as a pirate. Did you see that some nut is trying to sneak into our turf?

I have the perfect man for the job. Picks up cell phone, dials numbers, ring, beep, ring, beep, Ya you now where its at? Your already there. Go, drown them to your heart's content. Hangs up.

Fellow Jacks, the situation in temple of lust is about to get cheesy.

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Anarcho-Syndicalist Peasant wrote:

Runs back and hides in the bushes

I need a nap ...

Sneaks up on the napping peasant and...PUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good one Cultist! That might have beaten my record!

I have golf clubs, cricket bats, baseball bats, war hammers, and mallets for that sort of violence. If you ever need to use one on a peasant, just call, I would be honored.

The Jackskunk wrote:
Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:
The Jackskunk wrote:

Hey, there are two poodles now! This can only be one thing: Poodle Jack is breeding!

There's nothing for it. I'll have to kill her before it's too late! *resigned sigh*

*Bites Jackskunk, throws him in to pile of empty beer cans.*

Now, now, play nice or get hurt.

I wasn't talking to you. However, now that you're here...not even Lynora can complain about this.

*Sticks PJS in Jackapult and launches*

That's It! You all woke me up! I'm trying to sleep here! One more outburst! One more poodle! One more pancake! One more hungry Jack advertisement! One more puddle of poodle pee and I start swinging!

:::Shakes his +05 Ironwood cricket at everyone in the clubhouse:::

:::Sees the kegs of beer and takes one:::

Nevermind. I'm going to drown my insomnia in beer. Consider this donation you're salvation.

:::Takes a keg and goes back to bed:::

:::Looks at Puffy:::

Get out of my way fat boy!

"...Now if I can get that cable sation to work...."

Hungry Jack wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Demolition Jack wrote:
Convert of Emperor Sebastian wrote:

"Finally, I get to hit something."

DJ takes the +05 ironwood crciket and smacks the convert of Emperor Sebastion until he rolls out of the house.

Why stop there? Go hit him again!
Exactly! Hungry Jack® will gladly provide the fuel for you endeavors, in the form of some delicious Hungry Jack® Pancakes. Because with Hungry Jack®, it's always the right time for pancakes.

....and bacon.

Convert of Emperor Sebastian wrote:

"Finally, I get to hit something."

DJ takes the +05 ironwood crciket and smacks the convert of Emperor Sebastion until he rolls out of the house.

[i]Once the deed is done, DJ raises his enchantment cricket bat high above him and lets lightning arc off it."

"I feel like a Norse god. Hey, shouldn't there be a protocol about using the word losers in the Club House of jack?"

NASCAR Jack wrote:
Anyone else think that if Paizo put Seoni on the hood of a race car, the downloads would increase so fast the servers would melt?

Yup, I reckon so...

"Hey what happened to the party?! Do I need to wreck something to get this party going again?!"

DJ makes a running jump and cannonballs into the pool and a large column of water erupts from his plunge. The clubhouse is wet, Roy Jack is wet, Jackin' Ape is wet, Lynora-Jill's hair is wet, again.

For what seems ten to fifteen minutes, he ascends wearing a scuba mask, snorkel, and a rather heavy oxygen tank. The breathing apparatus pops out of this mouth.

"Dudes! Dudettes! I found a hidden entrance at the bottom of the pool."

Jack Hammer wrote:

try this -

aaaeehh....bbeeeeee....seeeaaahh....dddduuuuuuhhhh....eeeeechhh...ffffttt.. ..


"It's that "f" that gets you everytime," he chuckles, "Not so loud or Lynora-Jill will hear us."

Jack Hammer wrote:
Demolition Jack wrote:
Just to let you all know, I can burp and fart at the same time.


Did that once. It was a little messy. it might have been the nachos though.

Can you belch out the alphabet?

Only the letters that make uo my name. I have a hard time holding onto that much gas.

Just to let you all know, I can burp and fart at the same time.

Jack Hammer wrote:

JH walks thru the main room scratching his butt.

Who was that masked kobold, and why wasn't he Jackapulted out of here? Are you guys getting respectable?

"All someone had to do was give the order and I would have smacked him with this club. Look what Roy Jack bought me."

He show his new studded metallic club with the words "Give them Jack" engraved in the best cursive lettering.

"I can't wait to golf again, this time with hand grenades."


Uh-oh, that did it. Time to don the safety equipment."

"WTF! She killed our stench."

:::Pulls out a tray:::

"Soft tacos anyone. Come On! Think outside the bun!"

Passes LJ on the way into the clubhouse.

"Smells like salsa Doritos passed through the intestines of any ivory elephant? Good thing I donned my gas mask again. Hey, I think this will be my new look for now-on. Really, can I get an honest opinion?"

Hey everybody!

Steps over Roy-Jack

I'm bored and I need to demolish something. Hey, can I run with scissors in the club?

Adj. Reginald, aide-de-camp wrote:
Comes through with the pressurized hose cleaning and moving the jack-menagerie out onto the lawn, as they frolic with the mangled intruders.

Hey! Watch it with the hose would ya?! I'm not apart of that menagerie.

The Jackskunk wrote:
This is weird....

Dons a gas mask

You're name looks better, but that smell from your crack. Can you do something about that, like perfume, or soap, or something.

Breaks out a twelve pack of beer from the frige.

I could use some Hungry Jack diners right about now.

Angel of Violence wrote:

Begins to decorate for the Victory over Sebastian Day party.

Hey boss, should I hang the pony pinata, or should I just string up a real pony for the boys and girls to hit?

I'd say go for a real pony, but I'm, not cleaning up afterwards.

Hey Panama Jack, looks like that new cricket bat will get some good use after all.

Panama Jack wrote:
Demolition Jack wrote:
Panama Jack wrote:

Couldn't have said it better m'self, Righto.

Jacks do unto others, not unto Jacks...unless "do" is a good thing, what-what?

"Does" another round of drinks for his fellow Jacks.
"Hey can I barrow that +5 ironwood cricket? I have the feeling I need smack something by next week."

Hands over bat.

Here you go, chum. Use it in good health.
There are some folks over in the PDF threads you might use it on, what-what!

"Finally, something vile to demolish."

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