Welcome Aslan, Intern Champion!

Saturday, April 27, 2013


Behold the symbol of my dominance.

Greetings! I am Aslan. Cassidy (Mom) told me she introduced herself to all of you, but I was far more popular than she could ever hope to be. Considering she's one of my subjects, I think this is only fitting.

Mom brought me home earlier this year. All she was looking for when she walked into the pet store was a puppy fix, but per my previous brainwashing of the pet store staff, they put me in her arms instead. That she could be easily manipulated was immediately obvious. I pretended to be a loving, docile creature like all the other rabbits and ten minutes later, we were en route to my new domain.

Once we arrived, I put my master plan into action, transforming a previously unsophisticated realm into the grand kingdom of Livingroom. I used my powers of persuasion and adorably fluffy ears to secure my influence over Mom and her fiancé (Dad). I arranged for daily tribute deliveries of pellets, hay, and leafy greens. A castle was built in my honor. Cassidy's mother, who has become a powerful ally and my Grand Minion, intervened during my castle's construction to insist I be given a turret. While I was initially annoyed at her presumption, the turret has become one the most important pillars of my rule as it allows me survey my domain. Grand Minion will be spared my wrath.


Chew Toy Dragon is defeated!

After ensuring my own kingdom's stability and training my minions to see to its day-to-day administration, I set forth to forge relations with a neighboring realm. Random, their dignitary, traveled from the far-off land of Duvall to meet with me. (Between you and me, he's the funniest-looking rabbit I've ever met.) After establishing both trade and security treaties, we cemented our bond by joining forces to purge Livingroom of its greatest threat: Chew Toy Dragon. Together, we defeated the abomination, stripping it of its teeth and forcing it to pledge its fealty to us.

Currently, I'm working on my greatest challenge yet: communicating my insatiable need for carrots and raisins to Mom and Dad. Though they seem earnest in their attempts to please me and provide me with these items on occasion, I am beginning to suspect they are taking directives from The Vet, self-appointed court dietician and my greatest enemy. Despite my suspicions, I will allow Mom and Dad to remain in my kingdom... for now. In the meantime, I will lurk in my castle, plotting new conquests and my next campaign with Random.

Until next time, loyal subjects.

Aslan
Emperor of Livingroom
Nibbler of Dragons
Lord and Master of all He Surveys

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Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I bow before Aslan, may his empire stand for now and forever.

Liberty's Edge

That ... was ... Awesome!!!


All hail ASLAN!


All hail Aslan!


All tremble before the might that is Aslan!

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

6 people marked this as a favorite.

I, for one, welcome our new bunny overlord!


and thus begineth the chronicle of Aslan, Destroyer of Worlds.


Naomi loves rabbits. This is so awesome! :P


Obviously a mythic character. It was nice of Paizo to let us have a peek at one so soon.

Liberty's Edge

Creative and brilliant!


One word: awwwwww :)


9 people marked this as a favorite.

As a minion of His Most Excellent Feline Emperor, Floyd I am duty bound to repeat the His Most Resplendent Response to this rodent with delusions of Grandeur proclaimination.

"I Emperor Floyd here by rejects your plans of global domination and will fight you at every turn. I will admitt you showed amazing luck(must be the fabled powers of rabbit feet) in placeing a minion within the hallow halls of Pazio which is destined to be Earth's greatest Corportation (as they makes books that I find really comfortable to sleep on) this move will help you not. As my Empire increases in size we will meet eventualy...at that time I will Do War upon you."

Than His Most Majestic Feline Emperor went to sleep in a beam of Glorious Sun.

In all seriousness a board game or a card game based on world domination of pets would be awesome.


John Kretzer wrote:

As a minion of His Most Excellent Feline Emperor, Floyd I am duty bound to repeat the His Most Resplendent Response to this rodent with delusions of Grandeur proclaimination.

"I Emperor Floyd here by rejects your plans of global domination and will fight you at every turn. I will admitt you showed amazing luck(must be the fabled powers of rabbit feet) in placeing a minion within the hallow halls of Pazio which is destined to be Earth's greatest Corportation (as they makes books that I find really comfortable to sleep on) this move will help you not. As my Empire increases in size we will meet eventualy...at that time I will Do War upon you."

Than His Most Majestic Feline Emperor went to sleep in a beam of Glorious Sun.

All hail our feline overlords!

Quote:
In all seriousness a board game or a card game based on world domination of pets would be awesome.

Rabbits, cats, lab rats, guinea pigs, hamsters, parrots, spiders, pythons, common gold fish, canary, house ferrets, mice...

No dogs, though as they would be lousy overlords... They would act as human followers and potential minions, willing or otherwise.


They've written a song about him, too!

CS Lewis who?


This was totally rad :3


I love bunnies! I had a lop for 5 years. He was a special little guy and I still miss him.

Sczarni RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

I already have an overlord. She would be too jealous if I had a second one, and my chest would be sacrificed to her claws.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Quote:
I love bunnies!

I love them too. They go great with buttered broccoli and mashed potatoes.

Sovereign Court Contributor

2 people marked this as a favorite.

My favorite kid's book for a while was Bunnicula. Truly a chilling, disturbing, work.

What is Aslan's position on vampiric bunnies?

Liberty's Edge

Jeff Erwin wrote:

My favorite kid's book for a while was Bunnicula. Truly a chilling, disturbing, work.

What is Aslan's position on vampiric bunnies?

I fear that you just gave Aslan a few ideas for his long term plans. Still, a vampiric bunny is better than a lich bunny. Or at least more cuddly. ;)


Why can't I "favorite" this?!


Whimper....


Aslan has nothing on the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Now that is a rabbit to respect and fear.

Contributor

I bet Sutter and Wes LOVE Cassidy and her supreme sovereign lord! This intern is going to be one to keep an eye on, for certain. She's going places.


Drejk wrote:
John Kretzer wrote:

As a minion of His Most Excellent Feline Emperor, Floyd I am duty bound to repeat the His Most Resplendent Response to this rodent with delusions of Grandeur proclaimination.

"I Emperor Floyd here by rejects your plans of global domination and will fight you at every turn. I will admitt you showed amazing luck(must be the fabled powers of rabbit feet) in placeing a minion within the hallow halls of Pazio which is destined to be Earth's greatest Corportation (as they makes books that I find really comfortable to sleep on) this move will help you not. As my Empire increases in size we will meet eventualy...at that time I will Do War upon you."

Than His Most Majestic Feline Emperor went to sleep in a beam of Glorious Sun.

All hail our feline overlords!

Quote:
In all seriousness a board game or a card game based on world domination of pets would be awesome.

Rabbits, cats, lab rats, guinea pigs, hamsters, parrots, spiders, pythons, common gold fish, canary, house ferrets, mice...

No dogs, though as they would be lousy overlords... They would act as human followers and potential minions, willing or otherwise.

Have you ever been owned by a terrier?

Although I would worry for any dog in a Paizo game. Things don't work out well for dogs in Golarion. Paizo must be cat people...


John Kretzer wrote:

As a minion of His Most Excellent Feline Emperor, Floyd I am duty bound to repeat the His Most Resplendent Response to this rodent with delusions of Grandeur proclaimination.

"I Emperor Floyd here by rejects your plans of global domination and will fight you at every turn. I will admitt you showed amazing luck(must be the fabled powers of rabbit feet) in placeing a minion within the hallow halls of Pazio which is destined to be Earth's greatest Corportation (as they makes books that I find really comfortable to sleep on) this move will help you not. As my Empire increases in size we will meet eventualy...at that time I will Do War upon you."

Than His Most Majestic Feline Emperor went to sleep in a beam of Glorious Sun.

Aslan has noted the pretender Floyd’s insult and threat. When the time comes, he is prepared employ Livingroom’s full military might to defend his realm. Per the Pledge of Mutual Defense signed with Random’s kingdom, Duvall’s forces will also be at his disposal. Additionally, his Grand Minion requests that “you kids play nice.”


Shalafi2412 wrote:
I love bunnies! I had a lop for 5 years. He was a special little guy and I still miss him.

Lops are adorable! I think Aslan is convinced that Random (who is actually a miniature long-haired dachshund) is a bizarrely elongated lop. :)


Jeff Erwin wrote:

My favorite kid's book for a while was Bunnicula. Truly a chilling, disturbing, work.

What is Aslan's position on vampiric bunnies?

William Ronald wrote:
I fear that you just gave Aslan a few ideas for his long term plans. Still, a vampiric bunny is better than a lich bunny. Or at least more cuddly. ;)

Aslan hasn't met any vampiric bunnies yet. The closest thing he has to compare them to is his father, who gets jittery and grumpy without his caffeine. Maybe I'll get him a copy of Bunnicula to chew on.

Aslan has ruled out vampirism as a post-death contingency due to their long list of well-known weaknesses.


Delthos wrote:
Aslan has nothing on the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Now that is a rabbit to respect and fear.

Aslan has witnessed footage of the Rabbit of Caerbannog. He was intrigued:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10101995029686418&set=a.1010063 6590958518.2886460.10733823&type=1&theater


who is aslan?


captain yesterday wrote:
who is aslan?

Aslan is my pet rabbit. :)

Contributor

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Cassidy Werner wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
who is aslan?
Aslan is my pet rabbit. :)

Don't let him hear you say that. Or see you type that.


Pathfinder Lost Omens, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Let me just my holy hand grenade of Antioch from my bag here. You said he has big sharp nasty pointy teeth right?


2 people marked this as a favorite.
zergtitan wrote:
Let me just my holy hand grenade of Antioch from my bag here. You said he has big sharp nasty pointy teeth right?

Just as long as he doesn't have a switch-blade. [shudder]

:D


Starfinder Superscriber

And another evil rabbit comes to take over the world..;)


Cassidy Werner wrote:
John Kretzer wrote:

As a minion of His Most Excellent Feline Emperor, Floyd I am duty bound to repeat the His Most Resplendent Response to this rodent with delusions of Grandeur proclaimination.

"I Emperor Floyd here by rejects your plans of global domination and will fight you at every turn. I will admitt you showed amazing luck(must be the fabled powers of rabbit feet) in placeing a minion within the hallow halls of Pazio which is destined to be Earth's greatest Corportation (as they makes books that I find really comfortable to sleep on) this move will help you not. As my Empire increases in size we will meet eventualy...at that time I will Do War upon you."

Than His Most Majestic Feline Emperor went to sleep in a beam of Glorious Sun.

Aslan has noted the pretender Floyd’s insult and threat. When the time comes, he is prepared employ Livingroom’s full military might to defend his realm. Per the Pledge of Mutual Defense signed with Random’s kingdom, Duvall’s forces will also be at his disposal. Additionally, his Grand Minion requests that “you kids play nice.”

My minion is off doing something with those beds Pazio makes...atleast he left one here open for me to use as a bed. So I will personaly reply to this.

So you have a dog ally...yes dogs are stupid enough most being can make them allies...they do after all willingly become minions of humans...disrupting the natural order of thing. Anyway I disgress...

About your dog ally I will quote a famous rabbit on that score, "Dog? Dogs are not dangerous." Of course General Woundwort was a little reckless in his approach to defeating that dog...but I won't be. Dogs are easily tricked.

And...sigh my older minion is saying 'Play nice too'...so I am guessing we can have a...nonleathal contest to determine who comes out on top and who has to swear fealty to the other...may I suggest who can shredd the most furntiture? Or maybe who can stay away from home the longest?

Emperor Floyd,
Emperor of Mankind(well atleast in NJ),
Slayer of many Rabbits, Mice, and Birds,
Paragon of All Things Feline


Cassidy Werner wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
who is aslan?
Aslan is my pet rabbit. :)

i get that he's your pet rabbit, just curious as to where the name is from is all:)


captain yesterday wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
who is aslan?
Aslan is my pet rabbit. :)
i get that he's your pet rabbit, just curious as to where the name is from is all:)

Presumably C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.

I would also hazard a guess that the name Random comes from Roger Zelazneys Chronicles of Amber.

Sovereign Court Contributor

2 people marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
who is aslan?
Aslan is my pet rabbit. :)
i get that he's your pet rabbit, just curious as to where the name is from is all:)

Aslan is a Turkish name meaning "lion."

It's also a large, felinoid alien race, living spinward from Terra.


he is an adorable little bunny:)

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

We need more pictures of Aslan and the castle!

Dark Archive

The three Emperors of "Livingroom, Virginia Beach Domain", have ordered me to send my best regards to Aslan.
They also desire more photos of this wonderful castle. This seems like something they would be very, very interested in. Currently they have what we call "cardboard-box-jungle" ... which is really just a pile of half a dozen shoe boxes thrown in a corner of the living room. The castle looks way cooler!


XperimentalDM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
who is aslan?
Aslan is my pet rabbit. :)
i get that he's your pet rabbit, just curious as to where the name is from is all:)

Presumably C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.

I would also hazard a guess that the name Random comes from Roger Zelazneys Chronicles of Amber.

Right you are! Aslan is half lionhead rabbit, so we felt it was appropriate.

Here are more pictures of Aslan and Random. Aslan's castle is in rough shape right now (bunnies chew), but he has ordered a new one that should be finished soon. :)

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