Ksenia blinks as the world stabilizes after spinning, and her eyes dart around looking for Maddy's sword.
Ah, right where I left it.
She lunges forward, grips the hilt and yanks against the tangle of webbing, sending a cacophony more vibrations through to deafen the spider's feet even more.
... and ever so barely pulls it free.
She flicks it once to dislodge the worst tangles of the webbing still stuck to it, grimaces, and then realizes there are more pressing matters to attend to. Like monsters.
The bundles of webbing throw the blade's balance off and Ksenia swings wide with a grunt.
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The spider died, Maddy's spear-thrust too much for it. Its legs collapsed out from under it, and it fell several dozen feet before getting caught in the layers of webs below. Ksenia and Kalanzar stare at each other through the space where the giant chasm spider had been moments before.
The halfling reappeared in the webs behind Maddy, and the shepherd spun gracefully and grabbed her with one arm, preventing the absolutely terrified, paralyzed halfling from falling yet again.
Ziyad, safe on his floating disk, watch as the webs shake and tremble - the aftermath of Shuushar's slip. Stool, trembling violently, clings to his head with all the strength in his stubby little legs. The twins grab onto the badger's fur for support, and Buppido and Jimjar spread their arms for balance. Nobody falls, and everybody is staring downwards at where Shuushar had fallen.
Alexandra appears in the spot the halfling had been a split-second before, in the same orientation and with the same momentum. She feels webs part beneath her as she falls, and she struggles to orient herself so that she can make a grab for Shuushar. But he is too far, and this isn't working.
(Mine!)
The word echoes soundlessly in the chasm, hurting everybody's brain. Alexandra recognizes the voice, and feels a moment of triumph. It is immediately blotted out by pain. Immense, soul-tearing pain, every inch of her body on fire, carved by knives, ravaged by electricity.
Those with vision enough to see in the inky blackness, see Alex's body lengthen, her arms transforming into long, leathery flaps, her skin and clothes sprouting coarse black fur. It takes an eternity, yet only seconds.
The pain is gone, and so is thought, and sight. The world becomes loud with the sound of echoing pings. Each ping lights up a map in Alexandra's brain, which immediately fades to black, only to be replaced half a second later by a slightly different map.
"лети, идиотка." The words are kindly voiced - fly, little idiot - so Alex flies. Almost effortlessly, she scoops up Shuushar in her strong, clawed feet. But her body isn't meant for this shape, and her brain can't handle the sonic input, and she can feel her true form struggling to reassert itself. And with Shuushar in her feet, she can't land safely on the webs.
The light they were heading for. She can't see the light, but she can detect the platform, carved from a stalagmite. It is only a few wingbeats away. Unsteadily, the giant bat carrying the kuo-toa flaps/glides towards the platform, and not a moment too soon. As Batexandra arrives over the platform, her bat-self dissolves, and she and Shuushar tumble to the stone floor. Alexandra lets the darkness consume her.
Where am I Alexandra thought.
I have wings! And I can see! but this is...
Abbadon?
Shit, am I dead? No if I was I wouldnt be...
Horns, check, claws, check, black leather outfit, check, wings check, tails check. Shit, I am a Succubus? No, I am actually Yza? Her memories got deposited when she did this?
HER NIGHTMARES A black voice of pure malice shattered her thoughts.
This cant be real, Demons dont dream! She thought
THIS ONE DARED TO, AND I WILL RELISH TO CRUSH ONE OF HER CLIENTS FOR THIS, BY THE MIGHT OF HELL ETERNAL ITSELF
She turned, and saw what spoke to her.
She fled, wings beating in panik. For about 2 seconds before the Pit Fiends infernal blade literally bisected her.
Where am I Alexandra thought
I have wings, And I can see! but this is
The pit fiend! I need to flee
YOU LEARN MORTAL, BUT NOT QUICK ENOUGH!
She evaded one blow.
The second bisected her, again, this time vertically.
She would die 6 more times, hunted, stalked, preyed upon, toyed with, burned and crushed. The 9th time however...
She could sense where her doom was, and she had a plan. A Balor was there, not that it would willingly help her, she discovered this on her 5th death, as she died by a vorpal blade when she approached him for aid, but, but, she was a Succubus. Obey me She sent the one suggestion no Balor would possibly follow, ever, at it. It roared with primal anger. its voice of pure hatred resounded in her head. She teleported, exactly to where the Pit Fiend was, firing her mostly useless hand crossbow at it. The Pit Lord lashed out in reflex!
She planned for this, and was teleporting again, the Pit fiends blade impacted, not with her, but with the Balor charging her!
The Balors war cry ruptured one of her ears, as it turned on the Pit Fiend, unable to ignore it.
Alexandra raced away, as the Balor and Pit Fiend fought.
There may be a lesson in this She thought, as the war torn planes of Abbadon became the underdark, and her eyes opened again.
WE ARE NOT DONE She heard the fiends voice as she woke.
F+~* you wanker She thought back at it.
Something bad would have happened if you killed me 9 times, right? Thats like, you edgy ex-Angels holy number because you are all numeroligically dyslexic and confuse it with the much better looking number 6? You failed, against me, and I am much weaker then an actual Succubus! She almost shouted.
Alexandra? She heard her patrons voice.
You should not be trashtalking pit fiends, even though it pleases me, not at your current level.
You should also be taking... care. Curiously, the boss has an interested in this Kuo-Ta, try to keep him alive as well, but not at the expense of your own life. It was the closest to a stern talking to she had ever gotten from her patron. And thus she listened.
@GM Con Saves if needed!
Seeing the spider so elegantly skewered, Ksenia ambles up and hands Maddy the magic sword. "You dropped this again." She says with a wink.
She immediately sets about inspecting the spider for anything recognizably edible to carve off:
Humming while she works, she realizes Alexandra isn't with them and pauses. "Did Alexandra not climb down yet? She was with me before I jumped."
:: The ways of the Redeemed Queen are inscrutable! ::, drow in the guise of a lizard will telepathically say with some trepidation, looking at the miraculous transformation...
But almost as soon as the fight ends, Kalanzar will look around and seeing that there are no new spiders, he will go in search of Alexandra.
Maddy yanked the spear free from the large spider and avoided drips of ichor as she spun to catch the halfling. "Don't worry, you're safe." She held on tightly to both the spear and the halfling. "Can you tell me your name yet?"
She watched in horror and fascination along with the others as Shuushar fell and Alex...transformed. But what transpired next was beyond her ability to see but she knew one thing, they needed to get everyone back together.
bring the halfling to my conveyance
You dropped this again."
Maddy managed a weak smile, "I really need to keep better track of that thing." She put the halfling down on Ziyad's floating disc and then took the sword, looking like quite the threat wit spear in one hand and sword in the other.
"Alex fell along with Shuushar but I think I saw Alex transform. Did anyone see where they went?"
"I guess we make our way down to the light as we had planned and hopefully we'll find them both. I would really hate to lose our guide at this point."
Ksenia makes short work of the spider. The legs are much to thin to have much meat in them, and she doesn't want to get too close to the venomous end. Instead, she just hacks off the abdomen at the narrow waist, and slings it on the floating disk. It'll take some time to carve the meat out of the thick exoskeleton, and the others seem keen to be on their way.
With some riding the floating disk, and the others walking carefully, they make their way down to the gradually increasing light. The see that it is indeed a very large stalactite, attached to the unseen ceiling. A large chunk from the side was dislodged some time in the past, and the resulting ledge was turned into somebody's home. A crude guard rail has been erected along the edge, though it is easy to climb over. On the platform they see two cots, a variety of crates, sacks and bags, and a campfire with embers still glowing in it. The light was coming from a glowing ball, hanging in a spider-silk net from the wall.
They are relieved to find Alexandra and Shuushar both alive on the platform. The kuo-toa has been tending the human; he put on a cot, and has been dabbing her head with water he found in a waterskin. Alexandra's skin is pale, and her eyes are moving back and forth in a dream. However, she doesn't look injured and her breathing is steady.
Maddy was relieved to see both Alexandra and Shuushar alive but is slightly concerned that Alexandra still hasn't woken up. Not really knowing much about the art of healing, she turned her attention to where they had ended up. She spun around slowly, taking in everything the light touched. She was so grateful for the light. "It's amazing that anyone would choose to make their home here. There are two cots, does that mean there is more than one?" The nearly extinguished fire caught her eye so she asked, "Are we staying long? Should I build up the fire?"
She knew that they still needed supplies but it would be rude to just take from someone's home without asking. "How long do you think we can wait until whoever lives here comes home? Hopefully they'll be able to help us find out way through this place and maybe spare some supplies."
Maddy approached the halfling that the group had saved from being a spider's dinner. "Are you able to talk to us yet?" She pointed to her chest, "My name is Maddy."
Alex mumbles in her dreams, you hear things such as
Pit Fiend!
Shitty Balor!
Not again!
Ahahah it worked
As well as some choice swearing in Abyssal, of a kind that would make a Succubus mother cover the ears of her Alu-daughters, well, actually, no such swearing exists but you get the idea.
The lizard examines Alexandra for a while, thrusting and sticking out its forked tongue. Then, without saying a word, he secretly goes to the house to examine it. Perhaps he will notice something closer that will lead him to think about who the owners of this house are?
The halfling isn't able to do much but twitch until Ziyad pours some antitoxin down her throat. She coughs and gags, then swallows, and a minute later is able to move freely. Weakly, she asks for water.
Once her thirst is slaked, she tries to sit up and manages to get upright, and lean weakly against one of the beds. "Thank...thank you," she says, her voice hoarse. "I'm Alora. I was in that thing for...days...I think. Is that...is that a huge badger?" She rubs her eyes, clearly suspecting hallucination.
On the bed, Alexandra continues to moan and mumble in her sleep. Turvy runs to her side, patting her head worriedly and holding her hand. Topsy follows along, more hesitant, while Buppido stays away entirely. Jimjar shakes his head in wonder. "If you'd bet me that she could do that, I'd have lost big time." However, he didn't spend time fretting over her, and instead began to inspect the strange home they'd ended up in.
Kalizardar climbed easily up and around the stalactite wall and ceiling of the platform home, looking for secrets, and he very effectively camouflaged in with the dark and mottled rock. He discovered a groove carved vertically into the stalactite, coming down from the ceiling of the chasm. A trickle of water ran down in, funneled into a barrel, keeping those who lived here with a reliable water source.
It worked! Alexandra says as she suddenly wakes, seeing Turvy and immidiatly hugging her. Shaking quite a bit as she does so.
Alive, not mad, not a bat, thanks Lady Yzalina you are the bestest patron ever, and I am indeed a little idiot with a Saviour complex.
She cries, but it seems to be tears of joy.
Why do I She tries to pierce the darkness with her eyes, and only sees... Sound echoes? Which give her a headache by just looking at them.
Ok, so, seems my darkvision is gone? I only see weird echoes outside of my normal sight, and I get an effing headache by just looking at them.
Alexandra hits the back of her head a couple of times.
Nope, still doesnt work. Will probably sort itself out after a while.
She notices that is still shaking.
Interesting, probably due to the transformation? No real idea, but I guess part of my muscles think I am a giant bat and party of my muscles think I am a human, so, muscle and coordination wise I have....
She pauses for dramtic effect
A sleek combination of a stupid humans aerial grace, combined with the aweinspiring skills that a bat has in uhhhmmmm Kalanzar, what mode of movement are bats bad at, running? Dancing? Swimming?
She chuckles, still shaking.
You guys get the idea. Totally worth it saving 2 people and would
Alexandra apparently got spanked or zapped by an invisible force,
Ok Yza, I would not do so again
As she gets spanked or zapped again.
Yeah, OK, the first hit was for being stupid, the second for lying to your patron and failing. I love you too Yza.
Alex sheems almost exhuberant, as if she pulled of something that absolutely should not have worked but did. Which is of course entirely what happened.
Oh, Hi Mrs. Halfing, I dont think I caught your name? I am Alexandra, Warlock, doer of crazy antics and absolutely not insane, at least I think so. The Giant-Badger over there is Sir Tubbyrub, let me demonstrate to you why!
Alex approaches the giant badger, makes a tubby rub pose and then utilizes the therapeutic properties of doling out Tubby Rubs to Giant badgers.
Oh, Shushaar, I would like to speak to you later if possible, somewhat privately.
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Maddy smiled at the halfling, "I'm glad you're okay, Alora. What were you doing down here?"
Her eyes followed Jimjar as he looked around the residence, "Jimjar, I bet you can't figure out what kind of beings live here."
Once Alexandra wakes, Maddy looked relieved. "It sounds like you've had quite the experience. I'm glad your almost-sacrifice worked out."
She had hoped that whoever lived here would have come back by now, "Maybe we should wait until Alexandra is more steady on her feet. Maybe by then, whoever lives here will come back."
:: There is drinking water here. I didn't see any dangers for now. ::
Kalanzar, you can understand speech?
У вас есть какие-нибудь соображения по поводу того, что произошло? Согласно тому, что я знаю, я не должен был быть способен на такое.
Также, как много вы знаете о Войне Крови, мой Покровитель, очевидно, случайно вложил в меня некоторые из своих воспоминаний, и они не очень-то приятные. She speaks in Abyssal, not seeking to bother the rest with the particulars.
Do you have any insight on what happened? I, like, according to what I know I should not have been capable of this.
Also, how much do you know of the Blood War, my Patron apparently deposited some of her memories in me by accident and they arent exactly pleseant.
:: Вполне понимаю! Ты же слышишь мой голос у себя в голове. То, что с тобой случилось это чудо. Неисповедимы пути Богини. Других объяснений у меня нет и они не требуются вовсе на мой взгляд. Насчет Войны Крови... Да, кое-что. ::
hours
hours
Alexandra Alex hears her patrons voice
Yes boss? She replies mentally
Keep the called Ziyad alive if you can
Hej, I tried to keep everyone alive
Other then yourself your mean...
Why him in particular though?
He has a reasonable sense of fashion, especially for a mortal.
And here a I thought it was because he as part of a mostly evil race who is really friendly actually and thus of interest to our boss-boss? Arent Giths like, really racist a*~&*~*+s generally speaking?
Eh? He is a Githzerai, not a Githyanki.
Eh, whats the difference?
Ask him perhaps, it could be enlightening to you actually. Seriously, whenever I give you in person history lessons, you just focus on my lips rather then my words, and if I blindfold you to stop that you get even more distracted.
The connection is cut.
You all settle down for a bit of a rest, helping yourself to your fill of water. The halfling felt a bit better after drinking her fill, and told you her story. She and two friends were travelling in a valley, and had been caught in a flash flood. The valley floor had given way, and they woke up to find themselves in the underdark. They'd been lost for days, when the spiders set upon them. She doesn't know what happened to her friends, but fears the worst.
Meanwhile, Jimjar had been exploring the personal belongings strewn around the place, and says, "Goblins, I'm sure of it. Two of them."
Relieved that Alexandra was okay (or as okay as she ever got), the twins had fallen asleep, leaned up against Sir Tubbyrubs.
After you've been resting for about half an hour, a voice calls from the darkness, "Hey! Intruders! You are trespassing on private property. We have you surrounded. Leave now, and we will let you live."
Kalanzar quickly transforms from a lizard into a humanoid and speaks into the darkness. We apologize for the intrusion, dear hosts. Our friends needed a bed and a drink. They got into trouble, and only by chance are we here. We don't want violence for ourselves, not for you. On the contrary, perhaps we could be useful to you, just as your house turned out to be useful to us? With all due respect.
Goblins? Arent they like, reknowned for poetry so bad its actually good? Kind of like mine hen I started
Jimajr, I cant see in the Dark right now, can you verify that they are goblins?
If Jimjar says yes:
She intones
You have seen that we got some tricks
to spank some dumbarsed spider freaks
but what we do not have is lootz
so fighting us wont be the hootz
Soon away we will off bugger
quicker then you empty your bladder
we will be out of your sight
and you will own this place alright
Our Lizard is a drow and too a druid
our badger could have you more worried
As Sir Tubbyrubses's final form
Has never been a cause for scorn
So lets trade rhymes and not strikes
for seriously sparse loots are yikes
and as a final pledge from us
I am totally not a Succubus.
"They've got us surrounded?" Ksenia asks. "Those poor bastards, they've got us right where we want them."
Ksenia moves for the doorway and murmurs to the party. "I'll see if I can take a look without being noticed."
She tries to slip out as surreptitiously as possible.
Jimjar's assessment that goblins lived in the place they found caused Maddy to look around again with a frown on her face. Her experience with goblins was not favourable because they liked to try to steal the village's sheep. She had only learned their language so that she could understand them when they tried to attack her. She found that yelling at them in their own language was usually enough of a deterrent. Not always, but usually. As the others rested, she remained on guard.
When an unfamiliar voice sounded from the dark, Maddy made sure she had her weapon at the ready. She was surprised that they spoke Common but said nothing as the others reasoned with them. Maybe these goblins were nicer than the ones on the surface...they were definitely neater. And Kalanzar had showed them that just because you were of a certain race that you weren't automatically bad.
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Oh. My. God.
You hear a high-pitched giggle as Alexandra finishes her poem. There is the sound of a soft slap, as though somebody slapped a hand over their mouth, then the sound is cut off. A moment later, traces of a conversation could be heard.
"Dude, that was really good!"
"Right bruh?! Shhh!"
".... true about the ...."
"...it's our home! Shhh...."
"No, no, shhh, I'm gonna try bruh."
A throat is noisily cleared, and then a different voice says,
"You are clearly very dumb
To steal our stuff, your skull is numb.
We are one hundred goblin dudes
Fighting us is very dumb...no wait...rude.
We will make your brains go splatter
Faster than you drain your bladder."
"Ha! Good one dude! That's a better rhyme than bugger!"
"I know, right?! Shh, I'm not done."
"So you had better run away
Or you will all rue this day!!"
Another slapping sound, then more giggles.
Genuinely smiling, and also clapping,
Alexandra readies her next strike.
Do not make an illusion of me Poledancing, I do as a matter of fact know what you are thinking. She hears her Patrons voice, which vagely sounds as if she was munching on something, maybe those fried corn things?
what a pity She thought back.
Please dont kill them She thinks to the collective
I think I can convince them to harass our pursuers She continues.
Turvy you with me, I need an assistant for the Phantomime
Accentuating her completely fictous tails with appropriate sensual movements if neccessary, and slapstick at all other points, she began to offer the Goblins truely hilarious performance.
bold to challenge me indeed
and many ears your tale will heed
a bold challenge so boldy expressed
Goblin lasses shall be impressed
Alas demand we must our rest
as this is truely for the best
and recompense could be arranged
if we do not part estranged
A dumb drow b*%!* I did quite vex
Placed upon her a cunning hex
for in her quest for a demons power
she fell and slipped, taking a shower
Alexandra falls herself as she says this.
her head she boinked on tome quite dread
and saw some Demons, looking quite rad
alas, the one she picked was sad
as it looked quite a lot like crab
She wished to have its limbs quite mighty
an asked unprudently and flighty
and lo, her flesh how did it rippled
but what? something burst from her nipples
4 arms a Glabrezu has, 2 claws and also 2 hands
the claws a mighty yes indeed,
the hands are tiny, just like weed
She phantomimes a Glabrezus unusual anatomy
Angry she was, but not so smart
So I shot her with a sleeping dart
and upon her new hands to be
I casted a hex, so she wont see
her tiny hands sprung from her tits
but everyone else does see these bits!
Alas, she thinks her claws I stole
becuase lets face it shes a prole
who holds her true name in unesteem
Ilvara "Nipplehands" Myzzrym
You may ask, how did this dumb tale start?
well it did with a fruit quite tart
for I in her larder I have stealed
a Banana, which I then peeled
tasty it was, but depose It I musted
the remaines, lest I would get busted
Alex arranges for Turvy to chase her around a bit
hiding it in her bath of water
never thought that seconds later
who would think that this long-arsed saga
was caused by badly peeled banana
She finishes by slapstick slipping on a banana.
:: Funny guys. I would absolutely not want to fight them. Alexandra, go on. ::
There were squeals of laughter as Alex and Turvy pantomined Alex's tale. When it was done, a voice said, "Dude, that was awesome! Nipplehands!" More laughter followed.
"Bruh! Look! Our lantern is floating!"
"Hey! That's ours!"
A moment later, two goblins were revealed by the lantern's light. One tall, one shorter, both ugly in that special way reserved for goblins. They stood on webs about ten feet higher than the platform they called home. Realizing they'd been spotted, they looked at each other and shrugged. Each goblin took a funny half-jump, half-step forward, and then slid down the webs towards the party at what was surely a dangerous speed.
Arriving at their home, they climbed over the guard rail and the short one said, "I'm Yuk Yuk, and this is Spiderbait. Don't try anything mean, cuz we can call the spiders to us, and then you'll be toast. But if you're truly just taking a rest, well, I guess that's okay."
When it was clear that nobody was going to attack anybody immediately, Spiderbait said, "That was really excellent, dude. Did you really do all that stuff? Who even are you guys?"
We are a touring circus troupe. Recently, we pulled a trick with an escape from an impossible place to escape, now we are giving a trick with disappearing from the eyes of a drow and preparing a branded trick "not to die in the Underdark and go out to the Stars." - Kalanzar speaks jokingly, but he carefully watches the goblins' reaction. How much do they understand the hints?
Alex smiles warmly with the glow of a Job well done.
I am the clown, in case you didnt notice, I also do some stage magics, but really need a short rest to refill them.
So, Nipplehands and her group of derpy brainless drow are probably in pursuit, I dont recommend that you fight them, they are a bunch of sociopathic murderes with no sense of humor whatsorever, but if you could mess with them, like, cut a web bridge while they are on it, sick a bunch of spiders on them, inform nipplehands of her true name from a save distance, hmm, I could conjure an illusionary pole dancing Succu
Alexes pauses as she got hit by something internally
An illusionary pole dancing Erinye? She feels an invisible headpat For an amusing little paid ahead of time reward
Maddy sheathed her sword as it became clear that these goblins were not like the ones she had encountered on the surface. She peered up at them in amazement as they stood on the webbing without attracting spiders. "How are you doing that? The second we touched the webbing we were attacked by a spider."
"How long have you lived here? You've built a nice home." Then Maddy voiced what she had been hoping ever since she had spotted the light, "We need to get through this place. Would you be willing to guide us?"
The goblins nodded in understanding. Yuk Yuk said, "That would be a pretty great trick, bruh."
To Alex's offer, they looked slightly alarmed. "Uh, no, that's okay, dude. I mean, if we can piss of the drow from a safe distance, always happy to help! But we don't need the illusion."
When Maddy asked her question, Spiderbait perked up. "Right? It's super-cool, dude. We have this grease, see?" He held up an empty gourd, and pulled out a finger-full of a thick, black grease. "We rub this on our feet, and then we can slide. We surf the webs, dude! It's totally rad. Even the spiders can't catch us."
"How long have you lived here? You've built a nice home." Then Maddy voiced what she had been hoping ever since she had spotted the light, "We need to get through this place. Would you be willing to guide us?"
Yuk Yuk perked up. "It's pretty safe here, except when somebody forgets to cover the light." He glares at Spiderbait, who looks away. "We have a few hideouts like this, bruh." He glanced at each of them, as if sizing them up. "We [i]could[i] guide you through the webs, bruh, but guides get paid. What can you offer? No offense, bruh, but you don't look like you're carrying much gold."
Gold? How about fun?
She gives both of them a pearl white smile.
You got anyone you want to piss off or impress? I can totally ghost write you some pretty gud rhymes!
She pauses
Of course, the more you tell me of your target, the better I can match the ryhme.
Kalanzar silently looks from the goblins to his comrades. A lot of words are bursting out of his chest. That good is good, that helping travelers in the dark is a good thing, that we all live not only for ourselves and there are things much more important... But he is silent, trying to find the words. And he prays that his friends will be able to be convincing enough.
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Ksenia remains in the shadows where she was hiding undetected behind the goblins, and scans the darkness all around just in case they aren't what they seem. She smiles at their antics, but better safe than sorry.
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"Oh, we found the lantern in the webs, bruh. Along with some other rad stuff. Having light isn't always, like, always safe, right? Some poor dude, had this light, got himself eaten. But, happy to sell it to you, dude!" Yuk Yuk eyed Ziyad. "I mean, you look like you dudes have been dragged through the muck, but you also go some nice stuff, right?"
Spiderbait shook his head at Alexandra. "Don't get me wrong, your rhymes are gnarly. But that's more likely to get us killed. Life down here is hard, bruh. Good stuff or gold will keep dudes alive. Poetry won't."
Unfortunately, I have nothing to offer. - Kalanzar throws up his hands - Only if I could help you with something. I am a druid and a healer.
Chain shirt, nope, need that.
Short spear, nope, need that.
Hat of swapping, uhhm, just saved two lives with it, so also need that
Alex thoughts raced about possible trades.
I mean, did either of you see my Bat stunt? I work for the redeemer queen, formely known as Lady in Shadows, mass murder of Demonlords etc. who is a pretty good boss, or in my case, boss of my boss.
She pauses,
Like, you scratch her back she does scratch yours, or scratches the eyes out of one of your foes. See it as a possible wild card in your favor.
Are you using the name of our Lady in Shadows to curry favor with 2 Goblins?
Curry flavor? Oh yes, some chicken with rice and curry would be excellent!
Alexandras active mishearing of her patron, as well as her attempt to invoke her deities name in currying favor were not well received, and she could feel an impending telepathokinetic boink forming through the connection.
Joke aside, but what if Goblins can be redeemed as well? These 2 are kind of fun, relatively helpful, what if, by shouting Nocticulas name out loud and actually getting an answer, she could gain a following among them? Isnt the chaos these rascals can cause also art? Isnt their delightful nonsense also freedom? She could feel the massive telepathokinetic boink hesitating.
Think of the possibly massive pranking of Lamashtu that this would entail!
She breathes a sigh of relief as the omnious telepathokinetic boink-stick-energy dissipates.
You may proceed...
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"Poetry won't."
At that, Ksenia steps out from behind the goblins, short sword casually leaning on her shoulder. "Poetry's the only thing that keeps you sane down in the dark, friends. The seers say that when the dwarves spent a thousand years diggin' and fightin' their way up to reach the sky, that dwarven prose died. No ink in the darkness, no paper carried in the retreat, so all we could write was poetry, because we could write it on our souls, and pass it down until there was place and time to set words down again."
Ksenia seems somber for a moment and then brightens and chirps "As for trade, how would you feel about the best home cooked meal you've had in a minute? I've got an idea for making some calamari and mushroom kebab out of a beastie we skewered a ways back."
She smiled as Yuk Yuk and Spiderbait explained how they eluded the spiders with their grease. She nodded in approval, "Clever. Where do you get your grease? You're a long way from the outside."
Maddy tried to not look disappointed when the goblins asked for payment to guide them. She wasn't surprised because it would be the same on the surface. Rarely did anyone do anything to help someone for free but she had still been hopeful.
She thought hard about anything she could offer instead but there really wasn't anything unless they needed some animals wrangled or their home defended. She kept quiet while the others offered possible solutions for things to take in trade.
Spiderbait looked at Ksenia with wide eyes, and wiped a tear away. In a soft voice, he said, "That was beautiful, bruh."
Yuk Yuk and Spiderbait put their heads together and whispered in their native tongue. Finally Yuk Yuk looked up and said, "You've convinced us, my dudes. A good meal, and some poetry and stories. A story from each of you." He looked at all of them with a falsely stern expression. Then he looked at Stool and said, "Could we have a pouch of little bruh's spoors? Wicked useful, they are."
"And you," he looked at the healer, "take a look at the boil on my butt." Spiderbait snorted laughter and Yuk Yuk looked afronted. "Not cool, dude! It hurts!"
The goblin glanced at Ziyad's floating disc. "Can that thing go all the way down? There's something low down in the webs, that we can't surf to. Would be sweet to have a lift down and back."
Spiderbait nodded, eyes widening. "Good call, bruh!"
They all settled down on the platform, which was pretty crowded with all of them. Spiderbait took a shoulderbag and dumped it out on his bed. There was a jumble of broken weapons, coins, a few jewels, and a nice pair of gloves. From a chest by his bed, he took out an oversized amber lens, which he held up to his eye and used to examine each item on his bed.