Oh, for crying out loud.
In spite of the seriousness of all this talk about eating babies, Bun chuckles inwardly at his unintentional and unspoken pun when he realizes what he just thought.
"Gnasher, I hope you don't mean that. You do know that in your new society eating babies is frowned upon. At least babies of the races that are members of the society. And before you ask, they also frown upon eating the adults too."
Ben narrows his eyes at Gnasher, recalling how he was processed at the castle and wanted to eat everyone. It occurs to him that there might be an issue here. And he does seem deadly serious and quite intimidating, which makes him quite nervous (i.e., shaken from the successful intimidate).
"Uh, not so fast. You know anything about the army that the giant is putting together?"
|
Lidia looks like she really wants to keep shooting. She got two more arrows nocked on her bowstring, and she's got the troll sighted perfectly.
But she doesn't. She suddenly relaxes and lowers her weapon, and seems pretty furious about it.
Looking past the troll, she moves past it like it isn't there, searching for the baby.
|
"Ha! You are smarter than you look! Tell all you encounter of the glory of Gorum and the might of he who bears His Thorn!
"My name is Ulretha, by the way.
"Also, explain why you are here and if you know anything of an army of giants being formed. Or suffer the consequences!"
Ulretha blocks the troll's path out and has Gorum's Thorn in hand but is not brandishing it or threatening the creature with it.
Thyste yawns.
"Can't believe Kioshi was maybe-right about a social situation," she shrugs.
|
|
Lidia picks up the baby and just looks at it for a long time, saying “Hi. Hi.” to it quietly. She traces a finger along its soft skin.
As she walks out past Kioshi, she speaks to him in an undertone.
”Maybe while you’re kissing his butt and calling him ‘Sir’ you could ask him how this baby’s parents tasted.”
She finds a nearby log to sit on, goes through her pack, and pulls a little jar of honey. She dips a finger into the honey, then gives the finger to the baby to suckle.
”It’ll be ok, baby. You’re safe now.” she coos quietly.
Thyste sidles up to Ulretha.
"We're stabbing this dude as soon as his back is turned, right?"
|
|
"I wasn't planning on it," Ulretha answers from the side of his mouth. In truth, he was eyeing the baby with a bit more interest than might be expected.
He looks around at the gathered group, including the ghost and the two dwarves and the half-orc who often looks like a troll and his own gnolly self.
"Maybe we should just ask him to join us."
"Reethie, I'd like to remind you that I'm barely above 'baby-sized' and almost definitely on this guy's menu, so if you don't join me I'll stab this dude to death myself. But it'll take me, like, way longer, and I'll need to stop for a bit to set him on fire and it'll just be, y'know, a whole thing."
|
Lidia picks up the baby and just looks at it for a long time, saying “Hi. Hi.” to it quietly. She traces a finger along its soft skin.
As she walks out past Kioshi, she speaks to him in an undertone.
”Maybe while you’re kissing his butt and calling him ‘Sir’ you could ask him how this baby’s parents tasted.”
She finds a nearby log to sit on, goes through her pack, and pulls a little jar of honey. She dips a finger into the honey, then gives the finger to the baby to suckle.
”It’ll be ok, baby. You’re safe now.” she coos quietly.
Kioshi raises an eyebrow but feels quite insecure now.
"Ehhh ... and ... and did you eat the parents of this child?" he asks and simulatanously knows that he actually does not want to hear the answer after Lidia's statement.
Ben is about to ask a question about the maker but pauses, waiting to see how he answers Kioshi's question. Personally, he is not all that offended by the thought of consuming humans. Maybe it's the giant blood in him, maybe the orc blood, or maybe it's all that druidic circle of life stuff, but to him everyone is just an animal when you boil things down. Once again, Ben chuckles at an unintentional thought pun.
Boil them down? nice.
Hildy seems to be trying to strangle the life out of her spear.
"How do you feel abou..."
Ben is about to suggest it go consume the corpse of steelhand, but reconsiders after observing how everyone is reacting. Except Ulretha of course.
"Oh, never mind. North it is then."
Ben looks like he is ready to leave.
|
|
His laugh echos through the hut and out into the valley. He laughs and laughs like he has said the funniest things.
The wolfish laughter of the troll startles the baby and it begins to cry. "He's stalling." calls out Lidia from her log as she tries to comfort the child by bouncing it on her knee. "His wounds are healing and I think it probably just alerted its friends with that loud laugh. So kill it, marry it, or let's get out of here."
"Shhhhh. Shh Shh Shh. It's ok. I won't let him hurt you. Kioshi would, but I won't. Shh shh." She stands and begins to sway back and forth with the baby in her arms. Then she begins to sing quietly to it.
"Woof says the dog but he barely means it.
Mew says the cat but she's a little liar.
Baa says the sheep but he just wants dinner.
Baby don't you cry.
Moo says the cow when she's feeling lonely
Caw says the crow in a fit of anger
Ow says the boy when he hurts his finger
Baby don't you cry."
"Right-- thanks for the info," Thyste says, already in motion.
More interested in the bigger picture Ben offers, "Out of here. Not interested in hunting down every miscreant in the area. We have bigger fish to fry."
|
|
"I don't think he's the right gender for anyone...except Hildy who doesn't seem interested," Ulretha replies to Lidia's suggestion.
He feels guilty about what's about to happen to this individual who has been nothing but cooperative to him. But then he remembers, if what he's about to do isn't justified, Gorum will ensure that it doesn't happen. The troll will prove stronger if it is Gorum's will and there's nothing he can do against the will of a god.
"Let Gorum judge between thee and me!" he declares as he swings Gorum's Thorn mightily and repeatedly.
"We've spent longer debating what to have for dinner," Thyste points out as she drives a spear into the troll's calf.
Ben half expected this, but the suddenness of the violence still surprises him.
Ben shrugs and wades in with the rest of them, though not as close as he has those long arms going for him.
"Oh well, I guess Gorum has spoken." Ben quips sarcastically.
Thyste considers the valley and the encampment and the treasure and... all of that stuff.
And she also considers the baby.
"Don't suppose a couple of parents are going to just spring out of the ground?" she sighs. "Taking care of these is tricky. How far are we from the nearest... I dunno, people?"
|
|
Kioshi looks at the dead troll and the crying baby and is clearly depressed.
”It is always the same ... sadly!“
He looks at Thyste.
”You are absolutely right. What are we going to do with an infant?!? I assume none of you can breast feed, right?!“
—
When they are looking for the right path, he tries to help.
Ben shrugs again, the says "Follow the water. Civilization tends to camp near water. Do you know if a baby human can drink goat or sheep's milk? I do have the ability to call animals."
"Either should be fine," offers Thyste. Then she considers a moment: "Wait, humans specifically? I have no idea. But... probably, yeah."
"None of you can breast feed, right?"
"I mean, I'm... susceptible to that kind of thing, but not without regular stimulation, and when it comes to that, I've been stuck with you lot for weeks now."
Her brow furrows, thoughtful.
"I mean, I guess I could try? If nothing else, it'll help get it flowing for later, if we can't find a place to dump it for a while."
"I'm gonna need extra rations, though. Producing milk takes a lot out of you."
|
|
Ulretha studies the map thoughtfully. He's experiencing a real conundrum. To the south is treasure, which is the only thing he would have been interested in only a few weeks ago.
To the north are powerful foes that he can challenge to prove his might in the eyes of Gorum.
The east holds no interest for him. Maybe either thing was there, but why seek out possibilities when certainties were available?
"I have a solution," Ulretha mutters when the discussion on what to do with the baby begins.
It is Thyste's suggestion that draws his attention the most.
He looks at her questioningly. "Susceptible? I'm no expert, but gnoll women have to give birth before they begin producing. Is it different in..."
Ulretha pauses, suddenly realizing he doesn't actually know exactly what Thyste is.
"...kitsune?" he makes a guess.
Thyste shrugs; she's not, strictly, entirely sure what she is, either.
"It's a thing amongst humanoids. Maybe other species too, as far as I know, but yeah, some people can lactate in non-baby-having situations. Like with frequent stimulation, or if they exist near a baby and have a strong maternal instinct, or..."
She shrugs. "I dunno. I'm not an expert, I just know it happens sometimes when I spent enough time in interesting places."
"Workin' real hard to avoid getting explicit on account of that PG-13 filter."
"But that kid's gonna need to eat long before I can get mine, uh, working, and hopefully we'll have found some kindly old couple with empty nest syndrome and a whole lot of goats and cows and whatever-the-hell before then."
She pauses a moment. "Suppose I should try to get things going on my own, though, just in case."
|
|
Kioshi looks at the dead troll and the crying baby and is clearly depressed. ”It is always the same ... sadly!“
Lidia just snorts sarcastically and shakes her head at this. She has gotten out her blanket and has rigged it into a sling which she can loop over one shoulder, and now makes her way back into the ruined house looking for anything that might help them take care of the baby.
While inside, she realizes suddenly that the baby's diaper needs to be changed. She sets about remedying this very intently, as if it were a complicated alchemical procedure. Fortunately she finds an undisturbed basin with some water still in it, and uses it first to clean the child, and then to clean off the used nappy while she affixes a new one to the child's behind. She wrings out the wet rag and drapes it over one of her shoulders, then settles the child back into her sling, and then drapes this over the other shoulder. A quick scan of the house reveals no jugs of milk lying about.
Lidia then returns outside and begins walking about the hut, looking for tracks.