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As Kioshi mentions one of the ways that the end could come for the baby, Ulretha watches it and his mouth waters a little bit.
"We could raise it as our own! Imagine how mighty and fearsome a child would be if it was reared by the five of us in the forge of battle! Surely it would be a mighty champion in Gorum's name! You've talked me into it, Lidia. We'll keep the baby. We shall name it 'Gorumthalkata*'."
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"We could raise it as our own! Imagine how mighty and fearsome a child would be if it was reared by the five of us in the forge of battle! Surely it would be a mighty champion in Gorum's name! You've talked me into it, Lidia. We'll keep the baby. We shall name it 'Gorumthalkata*'."
"You're hearing voices in your head again Ulretha, I haven't said anything about keeping the baby, let alone tried to convince anyone that it was a good idea." says Lidia, barely looking up from the child. "How about we let it get weaned before we start shoving swords into its hands?"
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”I care for many things!! Babys included!“
Lidia just looks at Kioshi for a few moments in silent, festering stupefaction. She fights a losing battle at holding her tongue, complete with an actual growl, then launches into the witch once more.
"I don't get you Kioshi. Why are you here again? Every time we run into the bad guys, all you ever want to do is talk to them and make nice with them. How were you friends with Rodrick? If you'd been around during the attack on Trunau, you would have run over to the orcs and asked them what you could do to help them! You didn't want to hurt Grenseldek. You didn't want to hurt the murder dwarf in the tomb. You didn't want to hurt the troll who was trying to find this baby and eat it. Don't you ever think of the victims of this filth? Do you think Rodrick would cozy up to these evil bastards if he was here? You need to decide whose side you're on!"
Her shouting upsets the baby and it begins to cry again. Lidia pulls it out of the sling and cradles it in her arms, swaying back and forth, but still trembling with anger as she stares daggers at Kioshi.
Thyste stares far into the distance.
Thyste stares back at him, incredulous. Her mouth opens, then closes once more. Wheels turn. Thoughts rush by and are discarded with equal rapidity. Eventually, she speaks:
"Yes. It takes a lot of care to line everything up just right. I'm trying to pull a lever inside my body, and I can't do it while I'm walking. I will definitely need to ride or be carried."
Ben smile quietly through the exchange, pretty confident, as only a person that has never taken care of a baby can be, that it won't all that much trouble.
Ge watches in interest as Lidia changes its diapers.
"You know that many mothers in the animal kingdom will lick their babies clean. Not suggesting it, but it strikes me that it is complicated for humans. Some god had a sense of humor or something."
Not wanting Lidia to drive the wizard off he chimes in on his behalf.
"Kioshi, you are doing fine. When we've needed you you were there. Not everyone can be a combat monster. We got lots to fill that role. You just continue doing your thing and helping out in combat however you can."
"You know my feeling about north vs. south. The treasure holds little interest to me."
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"Kioshi, you are doing fine. When we've needed you you were there. Not everyone can be a combat monster. We got lots to fill that role. You just continue doing your thing and helping out in combat however you can."
Lidia looks back at Ben, appalled. She shakes her head, while still frantically trying to comfort the crying child.
"Oh sure. It's just Lidia losing her poop over nothing again. I get it."
"I am literally just trying to understand this creep. That thing laughed and gloated to our faces about eating this baby's parents and his response was 'Thank you kind sir for your information!' and about 30 seconds later he was pumping a lightning bolt into its chest, and less than 30 seconds after that he was moaning about what a sad thing it was that we had to kill it!"
She turns back to Kioshi, and her voice is cold as ice.
"An hour ago, there was a family of people here, minding their own business. They hadn't hurt anyone. They were just trying to make a life in a little house up in the hills. They had dreams. They had a baby they loved. It least that's what I'm guessing, we'll never know, will we? Because a monster smashed into their home and murdered them and ate them, and one of them had the desperate foresight to hide their baby in a cupboard just before it was too late. And now this baby has lost everything. Today was the most important day of its life. Because of today, it will be an orphan. It has nothing. Everything it had an hour ago is just gone now."
"But sure, let's feel bad for the monster who did it. And enjoyed it."
"You disgust me."
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Kioshi becomes smaller and smaller and eventually has tears in his eyes.
“I .. I .. I am sorry… “ he says. “And thank you Ben for your words! It means a lot to me!“
He turns to Lidia.
“I knew that you did not like me and that is usually the case with many people because I am a little bit different in my head!“ he says and he looks at Ulretha, Thyste and Ben.
“Please do not think that I do not care or that I have no emotions! I was completely astounded and disgusted when the troll admitted that it killed the parents of this infant and I said that it was not OK … but I am not as eager as many of you are to just attack to take a life!“ he says with resignation in his voice.
“We never spoke about our past but I am an orphan so I know this child’s future suffering!!“ he says and tears start flowing.
“Being without parents… it’s not easy. My mother fled Cheliax years ago as a pregnant woman with five unborn babies in her belly. Well, her husband was willing to sacrifice her unborn children to close a deal with a devil. You know … it sounds better when I say „ her husband“ because I do not have to say … „my father“. As a kid I was always a little too protective … and so full of guilt … and although I did not know why, I knew something was missing. Today I know that my dead mother only wanted to protect us. Maybe if we understood what a dangerous man our father was, we would have paid more attention to her teachings ... maybe then not only she but also our eldest sister would still be alive!“
He turns to Lidia and looks into her eyes.
“I don’t always understand you Lidia. But you surely do not understand me. Rodrick was my friend. My friend because he was open minded and believed that we all can overcome our differences. Tell me Lidia!! Would you have fallen for a half-orc?! He did! He loved Brinya! Can you love?!“ he asks and now his voice becomes more forceful.
“All the hate that you carry in your heart Lidia and all the pain that you want to use to smash all those that you believe are evil .., in my eyes these are only weaknesses because you cannot look beyond your own sorrow and cannot see that all the fighting and all this dying only leads to more dying!! Dying that creates more orphans and people that carry the hate that I see in your eyes every single day!“
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Lidia listens to Kioshi's long and emotional rebuttal. Her eyes narrow when he relates that he is an orphan, and the odd circumstances of his childhood, but her face remains blank and cold.
“All the hate that you carry in your heart Lidia and all the pain that you want to use to smash all those that you believe are evil .., in my eyes these are only weaknesses because you cannot look beyond your own sorrow and cannot see that all the fighting and all this dying only leads to more dying!! Dying that creates more orphans and people that carry the hate that I see in your eyes every single day!“
Lidia surges up and gets right in Kioshi's face.
"Yeah. That's right. I do hate evil murdering monsters. I'm out here to stop these evil bastards. Because evil is real. And you don't stop it by inviting it to talk. And you don't stop it by letting it go so it can resume it's wickedness. I don't feel a shred of regret for killing that troll. And if you really had a heart, you wouldn't either."
"I can't tell if you're a fool or a hypocrite. Maybe both. But I'm here to tell you, you can't shake the devil's hand then say you didn't mean it."
Her face purses and she suddenly turns and moves away again.
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." she barks, almost unwillingly. "But you need to be more realistic about what we're doing out here. We are not on a diplomatic mission to the Storm Tyrant. Those giants want to wipe out everyone. Do you understand that? They want to exterminate all the people like they were bugs. You don't negotiate with that. You fight it. And if you don't have the stomach for it, you should go home and hide."
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"Gorum preserve us. Raise you're hand if you're not an orphan," Ulretha says, looking questioningly at Ben and Thyste and the dwarves since he knows the case for everyone else.
"You act like you're only being logical and that every troll and giant and orc out there is just slavering for a chance to murder and devour people. As though humans are any better. You think there was nothing where Trunau is standing before? You don't think that plot of land hasn't been taken and retaken again and again?
"You were so ready to kill Grinseldek but what if we had talked to her? What if we had managed to convince her to turn to our side and we had an army of orcs at our back right now? If nothing else, they could distract some of the giants we're marching toward so that it's not the 12 of us against who knows how many giants.
"If you want to kill everyone who ever has or who ever might do something evil, Lidia, I suggest that you keep an arrow for yourself," Ulretha says.
"So the troll ate some humans. Who cares? It was probably hungry. And those humans probably ate a chicken or goat or fish in the last day or week. That's the way of the world. The strong eat the weak. I'm not going to face the Storm Tyrant because I don't want him to conquer some humans who'll get what they deserve if they aren't strong enough or brave enough to stop him, I'm going to face the Storm Tyrant because I am strong enough to stop him.
"But if he wants to offer me some land or money and a believable promise that I won't be killed or enslaved, I'd be a fool not to take him up on it."
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"Then what are we doing out here? We may as well just go home!"
"Desna's t&$%! This one doesn't want to hurt anybody, and this one doesn't think the monsters are doing anything wrong!" she says, pointing to Kioshi and Ulretha in turn. "Look, I'm not out here because I want to be. I'd rather not be putting myself in danger like this. I've got 2 sacks of money waiting for me back in Trunau. But I thought we were on a mission to save people. I thought we were here because we accepted a duty to help people. But I guess I was wrong."
She starts walking off toward the valley. "I'm gonna go find a nurse for this baby, or at least someone with a cow. You all can do what you want."
Thyste tosses a quick shrug at the rest of the group, then hurries after Lidia and the baby.
"Hang on Lidia. In case you haven't noticed, we are not heroes here."
Ben does the pointing now and jabs at the group.
"We all have our reasons for doing this and they aren't yours. And our world views differ quite a bit. Does that mean ANY of us should go solo? You really thing that is the best way to get things done?"
He pauses in hopes that Lidia will think for a bit and listen to reason.
"Take for example that baby. You want to wander around solo because, what? You don't like what you are hearing or the way everyone else thinks? I just told you I could summon a cow and it would come to us, so wandering around alone would be counter productive and could get you and the baby killed."
Ben takes the advice he is about to give and tampers down his ire, growing more calm.
"Calm down and let Kioshi be Kioshi and Ulretha be Ulretha and quit trying to shame everyone into being Lidia. it won't work and it will just mess you up in the long run. Kioshi will do what he does best, like identify magic items, produce useful spells when we need take down a dam or something. Ulretha will continue pounding the crap out of anyone that tries messing with us. And I will summon that dang cow. I hope. The spell is not all that particular."
Ben snaps his fingers.
"Or! Or try one of these. They are magically nourishing and I'm pretty sure it will satisfy the baby."
Ben produces one of his magical goodberries and holds it out for Lidia to take.
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Lidia keeps walking.
"No, we're not heroes. I don't know what we are. Or were. But don't worry, I won't try to talk you all into anything anymore." she calls back over her shoulder.
She notices Thyste following her. She doesn't say any more, but she lets the fox-ling catch up. Her face is streaming with tears.
Pretty much out of patience, Ben says to himself, "I don't get it. Such a self destructive person. Maybe we are better off if she doesn't return. And maybe having a baby to care for will help heal whatever is broken inside her."
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Kioshi runs after Lidia.
”Hey listen Lidia, I know that we have different views about the world! But we all know the threats that are coming! We completely understand that a lot is at stake! And I also know that your power and your dedication is needed so that the goals of the team can be achieved! I ... I did not contribute much anyway. I’ll go!“ he says and casts a fly spell.
”Good bye!“ he says and flies away.
"Oh, dragon's turds. Well Ulretha, looks like Gorum has his work cut out for him. It might be down to the two of us."
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”Hey listen Lidia, I know that we have different views about the world! But we all know the threats that are coming! We completely understand that a lot is at stake! And I also know that your power and your dedication is needed so that the goals of the team can be achieved! I ... I did not contribute much anyway. I’ll go!“
Lidia walks faster and pointedly keeps her face turned away from Kioshi as he speaks to her. She even holds up one hand, interposing it between Kioshi and her face, as if to ward off a blow. In truth, she's so emotional at the moment that she's incapable to speech, and is doing all she can not to blubber. Inexplicably, she chooses this moment to bend down and kiss the baby on the forehead, then gathers the foundling up to her face and rests her cheek on its belly.
Thyste sighs loudly, perhaps a little dramatically, as she tags along with Lidia. With Kioshi having flown off and Ben pretty much out of patience, it's soon down to the two of them.
Well, three of them. Thyste Jr. is more personable than Lidia in her worst moments, in fact.
"Let's just... focus on figuring out what to do with this one, first," she says; her voice is gentle and easy, her tail tucked between her legs and ears down.
I'm getting a feel for her cycles, now. Losing her poop: check. Storming off: check. She's gonna sulk for a couple of hours that I'd usually lose to sleep anyway, and then explain what's wrong, and then I'll talk to her about it and we'll all head back and rip on Kioshi for a bit.
...That's gonna be less fun without him here, I guess.
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Lidia walks down the valley, her grief and anger slowly coalescing into a gloomy, brooding silence. Even carrying a baby, she moves quickly, picking her way expertly around and over various boulders and drifts of shale and scrubby hill vegetation. But if she gets too far ahead of Thyste, she always stops and stands looking around, waiting for the fox-girl to catch up, though she always plays it off that she's only stopping for a drink.
Because the whiskey bottle emerges from her pack and she takes frequent long pulls from it. She gives the baby to the cork to teeth on.
After about 15 minutes of proceeding this way, Lidia stops again to wait for Thyste, and finally speaks.
"If you're willing to hold the baby, I can carry you in the sling." she offers blandly.
She looks down at the baby. It's currently reaching out a hand to try and touch her face. She lowers her face so it can bat and paw at her nose and eyes. "I wish I knew your name." she says to the baby, apologetically.
But if she gets too far ahead of Thyste, she always stops and stands looking around, waiting for the fox-girl to catch up, though she always plays it off that she's only stopping for a drink.
Thyste, panting, catches up to Lidia once more. "Honestly? If your shoulders can handle me, I'll take it," she chuckles. "You set a brisk pace."
She tilts her head from side to side to keep it limber. "How about Carrie? We're carrying her all over, so it's only fitting."
"For now, anyway. We can revisit later."
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"Honestly? If your shoulders can handle me, I'll take it," she chuckles. "You set a brisk pace."
Lidia shakes her head. "It would throw off my balance. Plus if you're in the sling with the baby, then I can focus more on trail. There might be another troll behind any of these rocks or trees."
She tilts her head from side to side to keep it limber. "How about Carrie? We're carrying her all over, so it's only fitting."
"For now, anyway. We can revisit later."
Lidia considers this for about 3 seconds, looking down at the baby, mentally trying out the name.
"Yeah. Carrie is good. Of course with that logic, you'd have to name every baby Carrie."
She offers Thyste a hand. "Hop in."
"Thankfully I'm not planning on finding a lot more orphaned babies," she points out, hoping that whatever god handles fate doesn't decide on playing a cruel prank on her.
It takes a little doing, but soon Thyste is laying sort-of-comfortably across Lidia's front, Carrie safely snug in her arms.
"...Let's get that backup plan started, just in case. Please don't be teething, please don't be teething..."
Thyste sighs. "Feeding it. Maybe. Or getting production flowing so I can feed it later, if I can't yet."
Ben shrugs and starts headed south.
"Treasure it is."
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Thyste sighs. "Feeding it. Maybe. Or getting production flowing so I can feed it later, if I can't yet."
"It doesn't work like that. You have to have a baby yourself first. Trust me, I know. I had a baby once. My boobies leaked for a while and then they stopped. Uncle Hebe explained it to me." says Lidia.
Thyste raises an eyebrow.
"That's the most common way to do it, yeah, but it's not the only way to do it," she points out.
She pauses for a long while, looking up at Lidia.
She had a baby once?
"How old are you, again?"
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"How old are you, again?"
"Eighteen. I think. I'm pretty sure that's right." says Lidia with a flippant shrug. "I was 13 or 14 when I had the baby. Uncle Hebe set the whole thing up. Once I started getting my monthly bloods, he started selling me off to the orcs, and I ended up pregnant. He wanted the baby for his witch experiments. He made me drink things when I was six or seven months along so I'd deliver it early. I think he just couldn't wait, but he told me he was saving me pain by letting me have it early. It only lived for a few minutes and he whisked it off to his lab. The gods only know what he did with it. It was a boy."
"And then like I said, I leaked for weeks afterward. It was super messy and irritating. Uncle Hebe tried to figure out a way to use that too. He milked me like a goat for a while and tried to sell me off again to his creepy pals. But orcs don't really like milk. They think it makes them weak. A few of them chewed on me just for a cruel laugh with their buddies and then would spit the milk out afterwards. And it was just milk, so Hebe got bored with it pretty quickly. The worst part was that I only had one dress, and it was just messy and wet half the time. I also had a kitten at the time, and the dumb thing was always trying to lick me."
Lidia laughs at this memory, seeing the absurdity now that the event was so distant from her in time.
Thyste stares back at her with... well, abject horror, really.
"Lidia, that is extraordinarily f~~#ed up and I am so, so sorry you had to go through any of that. I hope Hebe is rotting in whichever afterlife is the worst right now."
She ponders a moment.
"I think you're gonna say 'no,' but if you want to slaughter everyone mentioned in that story, I will happily help you do so."
She looks back down at the baby she's cradling.
"Assuming, you know, we find a safe place for this one to grow up, first."
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"Lidia, that is extraordinarily f@@$ed up and I am so, so sorry you had to go through any of that. I hope Hebe is rotting in whichever afterlife is the worst right now."
"Amen to that." says Lidia, hoisting her bottle to the sky.
"I think you're gonna say 'no,' but if you want to slaughter everyone mentioned in that story, I will happily help you do so."
Lidia smiles ruefully. "So you don't have a problem with me being a hate-filled killing machine fueled by pain and rage?" she says with an edge of sarcasm.
"That's a closed chapter in my life. I don't know what happened to Uncle Hebe, but I just never want to run into him again. Of course, if he decides to get in my way someday... well, that'll be different."
She takes a drink from her whiskey bottle, and comes away with a wince and a cough. She looks down at the baby, cradled in Thyste's arms. Her features soften and weaken quickly.
"Poor little thing." she says in a tight voice.
”Hey, some of the best things in life are born from spite. All I’m gonna concern myself with is making sure that spite is pointed in the right direction,” she shrugs.
”Speaking of which—I think that’s enough of whatever you’re drinking until we get where we’re going.” She eyes the ground; ”If you fall on me, I’ll probably be fine, but Carrie here is gonna have a harder time of it.”
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”Hey, some of the best things in life are born from spite. All I’m gonna concern myself with is making sure that spite is pointed in the right direction,” she shrugs.
Lidia nods vaguely and belches.
”Speaking of which—I think that’s enough of whatever you’re drinking until we get where we’re going.” She eyes the ground; ”If you fall on me, I’ll probably be fine, but Carrie here is gonna have a harder time of it.”
"Yeah, ok." she agrees, though she continues to carry the open bottle in a free hand. "If I threw up right now it would be pretty awful, I guess."
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"Granddaughter?" says Lidia in surprise. She looks back and forth between the old woman and the baby, then her shoulders sag, and she nods. She looks at the ground.
"I'm sorry about your daughter and son-in-law. But if it's any comfort, the troll responsible is a pile of ash now." Her jaw tightens and she can say no more.
Thyste blinks down at Carrie, then up at the old lady.
Oh, sure, now I have a maternal instinct.
"Here." She carefully supports the child, lifting her up just enough for Grandma to take her. "Honestly, we have no idea what our next move is, so if we can just stay in town for a few minutes while we sort out the plan, we'd appreciate it."
Lidia probably won't let me ask for any more than that, but I bet they're gonna offer.