The viscount looks alarmed at the existence of actual traps and poisons.
He leaps up into the air while A Boy speaks, thrusting his small head forward like a thin bird: Traps?! Traps?! Traps, you say? Traps!?
No wonder Her Highness was impressed, yes, to withstand so many unforeseen dangers as you have — and with no tools, no no! Such work as yours is, by our standards, ceremonial only, yes, hence the protocol of no armor, no pliers or picks, no! The task was to traipse the happy halls of prestige, and chew the fat with persons of prestige, nothing more than that, no. No one ever finds traps!
He sits down and considers A Boy's question. What souls? Souls? Laughing Daggers, yes. The Smiling Rogues, the Beholden of Anarchy, it must be. He leans forward. The Grinning Ragamuffins. Have you heard of these depraved nihilists? Why are they here? Why? To humiliate luminous Lumi? Hound a princely Prince? Shame a queenly queen? Shame on them! Shame.
Security must be enhanced. Yes! You, you, the appointed Special Protectors, will help serve as my eyes and ears in the event, yes yes!
1. Entry to the banquet will be carefully controlled.
2. Guards will check everyone who could possibly conceal a weapon. All weapons will be taken and carefully stored in large chests layered with sheep’s wool and lined with lead.
3. One guard will be using a Lens of Detection, while another will use a wand of Detect Magic on more elaborately dressed guests. A wand of Detect Thoughts will be available for use on any suspicious guests.
4. All entrances will have smoke drifting slowly across them, to check for invisible creatures trying to get in.
5. Both ingress and egress will be strictly limited to no more than two people per round.
6. During the event, a guard on the balcony with a set of Eyes of the Eagle will scan the room at all times.
As is tradition for these sorts of ceremonies, clothing will be designed to show that nothing is being hidden beneath layers — this is not only an excuse for the upper classes to create racy ensembles, but it shows that the ceremony will be a peaceful one.
You will be sitting at a dining table and watching for trouble. Those who don't know Lumi or the Prince personally are not permitted to sit within 20 feet of the couple's table.
During the banquet, you can only be armed with concealable simple light weapons or martial light weapons — this excludes spiked gauntlets, shields or armor — and you will only be able to wear padded armor or items similar to robes. You can wear glamered armor as before. If you do not have such armor or items, Viscount Sihteeri will supply basic examples of these items them, along with appropriate tabards or tunics to cover any padded armor.
Questions? Suggestions?
This is to know things about the Grinning Ragamuffins.
The Ragamuffins mostly work like a standard group of thieves: they kidnap, they steal, and beat victims up. The main difference is that the Ragamuffins prefer not to kill. ‘A red face is better than a dead body,’ they say.
This is their main currency: the exploitation of weakness. Members capitalize on their victims' hidden secret, the irresistible vice, the concealed irrational fear or phobia, the unusual destination, the unexpected bedfellow. Instead of killing them, they use these things to ruin everything their victims hold dear.
This phrase has two meanings. First, it has a metaphorical meaning of of a poor man or woman rising to be monarch; secondly, it has a literal meaning: “skira” means “to cleanse or baptize” in the ancient languages that form the Ragamuffin's theive's cant.
More recently, “skira” has come to mean “name” or “nickname,” and talk of “Skira” has begun to make it sound like people are referring to an actual person rather than an ideal.
This tight formation makes it difficult for the authorities to get a firm grip on who is involved with the guild, and easy for the Grinning Ragamuffins to sever links or associations at a moment's notice.
1. Damage should be to the ego, wealth, reputation, and authority of a victim.
2. A ransom is better than a body. Maintained secrecy is better than a ransom.
3. Those who use their membership for self-gain suffer tenfold.
4. Losing today’s battle may be just the preparation needed to win tomorrow’s war.
5. If someone is thirsty, buy them a drink—they’ll buy you a meal when you are hungry.
6. A week to plan; a minute to execute; a decade to recover from.
7. It’s not what someone has that matters, but what they do with it.
8. Choose wisely whether to laugh with someone or laugh at them.
9. The mightiest avalanche starts with one snowflake too many.
10. Skira will return, although when and where may never be known.
True ragamuffins never have these coins — thus, the common knowledge about coins (the DC 12 check) is incorrect.
The boy thinks on it a moment more, and relays what he knows of the Ragamuffins.
"Brilliant, you are quite wise around these parts! I sure hope we don't wind up needing to go back to their lair, that memory I shared with you took place in that forest to the south."
"Viscount, I believe that your fears are likely correct; many of those traps were expertly hidden. Perhaps we should check everyone's pockets for the presence of their coins too! Also, I may avail you of some of that glamered equipment."
The viscount nods. Yes! Excellent idea, Klaytal!
”What? Really? You knew all that about these Ragamuffins? Have you been studying up on them in your free time or something? Seems like a lot of detailed information for a boy to know.” Gate grins at Jack.
”But, I’m glad someone here knows about these villains. Sounds like there’s not much we can do but be on the look out. This wedding sounds like exactly the type of thing they’re likely to disrupt.”
”Cheking pockets might work, but perhaps we need to hammer out some of these coins for ourselves, to draw these Ragamuffins out.”
The next day the banquet finally arrives.
The banquet is as elegant as expected — fantastical outfits and fine found can be found in abundance. At the less prestigious tables you rub elbows with upstanding citizens and the upper class, some of who are overindulging in drink. Small serving stations and mini bars are set up along the hedges where more guests mingle — Morsain hasn't seen a party of this sort in a generation, and everyone is doing their utmost to have a night to remember.
At the couple's table sits Prince Ruhtin, a dashing young man in gold-filigreed ceremonial armor; his long dark-brown hair is parted in the middle and his eyes are luminescent blue. He gazes fondly at Lumi from time to time and seems quite unperturbed by the guards standing close behind their table. To his left sits Lumi; there are flowers woden into her hair and and she wears a green, fur-lined, and high-waisted gown with slashed sleeves over a pale blue cotehardie. She glances to the guards behind her from time to time, seemingly unused to this level of security and attention. The Queen sits to the Prince's right at her ease, her horned wimple, sleek dress, and elbow-length velvet gloves the height of fashion but also at odds with Lumi's far more modest attire.
----
What are you doing during the banquet?
You will have to go to the bad part of town and find someone willing to undertake such duplicitious work. You go back to Gretel and she can point you in the right direction.
They have time to make coins at the cost of gold each.
Gate doesn’t mind going to the “bad” part of town. He heard Hansel and Gretel have a restaurant over there, so he’ll stop in for lunch and check out the daily special.
Hansel is a hulking man with missing teeth. He doesn't smell like a waiter. He slaps down a greasy menu on the table; some items seem to be crossed out and others hastily scrawled in, as if they make up the menu on an hourly basis.
Eat with vengeance!
Limited menue; freshest kills only
Crispy Riddywhipple wings glazed in Teriyaki
Bloomin' gremlin glazed in spicy Homunculus poison
Stirge stinger soup with crusted cat paw
Tidepool pseudodragon calamari
Leshy leaves with psychopomp eyes
Mage's Tears: imp confit, slow-cooked in owner's fat
Witch's Fears: Flame-roasted sprite in pseudosphinx gribiche
Singing rabbit rillette
Monkey fingers with wand-stalk (magical effects vary)
Vegan Azata, with vegetable medley
Nitro-Wysp cold brew
Beheaded whisky
Brain mole juice
Microdrake seasonal
Hedgehog Turnovers
Sin Seeker chocolate pie
Flambéed diva
Brownies
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Gate wrinkles his nose at the thought of anything vegan. He orders the Crispy Riddywhipple wings glazed in Teriyaki, which sound delicious, and the Flame-roasted sprite, which sounds almost too fancy for his wallet, but it’s not every day he’s in the capital city and this wedding job feels like a vacation so why not splurge?
He tucks his napkin into his shirt, ready to dig in.
Hansel reassures Gate that the dish isn't vegan — however, the source was.
You find that pseudodragon wings, when deep fried, mixes with teriyaki quite nicely.
The chef's special, Witch's Fear, is excellent. The sprite, clearly deep-fried in the utmost pain, is very tender. You are reminded of lobster.
The boy sidles up to his newly acquainted paragon of toxic masculinity and orders the rabbit. Mainly he plays with his food, spearing the meat repeatedly with his knife, and then burying it in a grave of mashed parsnips.
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"Hm, I'm glad you know of such things, Jack. I've only heard rumors of these Ragamuffins."
-----
Samen dresses for the occasion in a smart black coat over an elegant blood-red vest , with a shiny belt-buckle just visible and a neat grey cloak about the shoulders. A simple silver ring is the lone piece of jewelry visible on his person. Present but not visible is a black leather wrist sheath, strapped to the inside of his left forearm and concealed within his black coat. The intricately-carved hilt of a fine dagger, engraved with images of stars and butterflies just from the sheath .
The formal wedding negotiations went without a hitch, and everyone has relaxed a little, even the guards close to the top table.
It is towards the end of the evening. The Matching Glass is about to be performed.
During the course of the banquet, you have heard about this ceremony. It is the climax of the evening, right before dessert. The Matching Glass requires that prior to the wedding the couple-to-be has to craft, by hand (with instruction where needed), a single drinking glass that has a mending spell built into it. This glass is then carefully cut down the middle, with one half being given to each of the betrothed.
They keep these halves safe, and bring them back together at the banquet. In a public toast, mending binds the glass back together so that the couple can drink together from it.
This ceremony is symbolic, showing the two can work together, and that neither will be as good without the other. The bringing of the halves together shows that as one, the two are complete.
This ritual also helps prevent fey impostors, as they’d have to not only impersonate the betrothed, but also have possession of the original half.
The bells chime. The stars in the roses twinkle. The band plays a soft melody. The crowd is hushed.
Prince Ruhtin stands and produces his half of the glass from a wooden box; Lumi stands, and draws hers from a silk bag. As they fit the pieces together, there is a dim pulse of light and the two halves become one whole.
The chief steward brings forth a bottle of wine that was set down some seventy years ago by a previous ruler of Morsain. He pours the wine until the glass is almost full, and then offers it to Prince Ruhtin. The Prince stands and holds up the glass in a toast.
About my bride-to-be, Lumi, I have this to say: I want to be with her just as she is, and I choose her above all others. To my future wife, I say: I love you.
Ruhtin takes a deep breath and then drinks heartily, from the Matching Cup, only to immediately begin coughing and sputtering. As the Royal Guards and Lord Valta, alarmed, move toward him, Ruhtin holds up a hand. He coughs for another minute before gasping for air.
My apologies, everyone! I’m sorry! Some of the wine went down the wrong pipe!
There are sighs of relief all round followed by bouts of laughter and a ripple of applause. Ruhtin wipes his mouth with a napkin. Smiling at Lumi, he hands her the half-empty Matching Glass. She stands, holds up the glass in toast, and says in a clear voice;
About my groom-to-be, Ruhtin, I have this to say: I admire all I have seen in him and want to share those qualities all of my days. To my future husband, I say: I love you.
She grins broadly at her husband-to-be, glances with mock nervousness at the liquid, and takes a hesitant sip of the wine, causing more laughter. When there’s no coughing, she takes another sip and hands the rest to the wine steward.
The couple then exchange engagement rings, which confirms that the wedding will be going ahead. Ruhtin’s is a thick band of rough-worked gold, Lumi’s a delicate circle of entwined platinum and adamantine.
Dessert progresses normally for several minutes. Then, you hear a chair crash on the stage — the Prince is standing and looking at Lumi, aghast.
She is teetering in her chair, her eyes rolling back in her head. There is white foam coming out of her mouth.
Ruhtin grabs for her, but too late: she falls over across the table, scattering dishes. Her hand brushes the The Matching Glass; it rolld across the linen and shatters into a thousand pieces on the flagstone.
Lord Valta stands and begins begins frantically shouting: My doctor! Get my doctor! Something's gone wrong!
Suspect
Klaytal
A Boy
Gate
Samen
The suspect see he has been spotted and turns and roars at the finely-dresed couple hehind him: Out! Out of my way or be knocked into the mud!
The lord and lady gasp and move out of the way; the lord stumbles and falls into the a puddle of beer anyway. The man laughs as he moves past but nevertheless must still contend with the crowd.
Suspect
Klaytal
A Boy
Gate
Samen
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The Outfit
A circlet carved of pale ash wood. A chase of clever fox and tricksy hare about the brow, on skin most fair, protected by a pearlescent band of silk.
A jacket made of bright chiffon, embroidered dense with roses pink as drunkards’ cheeks. Breeches and a capelet match the pink expanse.
The Collapse
The boy sings and weaves his way through the cloud, voicing a command to his lady’s guards. ”After him! Let Robin’s fleetness take you to his side with but a thought.”
Klaytal, Gate, and Samen feel space stretch and shrink between themselves and wherever they may step.
The boy himself moves effortlessly through the crowd, calling to Lumi, "Let the fire burn like a furnace ’gainst this frosty froth. Resist the poison, fairest lady in this land."
Lumi continues to lay on the table, the poison sill coursing through her body.
Suspect
Klaytal
Hucklepuck
Gate
Samen
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The Look
A bright red cape clasped with a gold chain is draped over a black doublet and a gray velvet jerkin embroidered with silver-colored fleur de lis.
White ruffles at his neck and cuffs, and a thick black leather belt with a stylized pewter worg’s head as the buckle.
The Chase
Gate pulls the ruffles from his neck and drops them to the ground.
”Did someone say get him? Is that what I heard? And what’s this about fleetness by his side, or some such talk. Can someone who speaks Jack translate for me please?”
Regardless of the confusion, Gate attempts to get near the suspect and reposition him.
”Don’t think you’re getting away so fast buddy.”
The man looks at you; you see the fear in his eyes.
"Yes, Gate, grab that man!"
Samen is disoriented for a moment at Jack's warping of reality, but quickly recovers, neatly stepping through space to a position adjacent to the fleeing assailant, between the man and the main entrance.
With pinpoint accuracy, Samen steps across the crowd to the man, then nods to Gate and Klaytal.
He whispers to the man between himself and Gate "Things will go better for you if you give up now."
Suspect
Klaytal
Hucklepuck
Gate
Samen
Klaytal stands with concern in his eyes at the foaming bride. ”Who would dare spoil such an evening?!”
He will follow his companions lead, first spotting the target then attempting to move closely.
Surrounded by three teleporting adventurers, the intruder sees he has no other options and puts up his hands.
The guard captain, a stout woman who goes by Emelin the Smile, is pushing her way through the crowd with three soldiers in tow. You probably have time for a few questions before they get here.
You also hear the doctor at the head table yelling for people to clear the way. The guards there are trying to push the crowd back from the slumped-over figure on the table.
"Who are you, and who sent you?"
Now that you have paused to look at him, you see he's rather young; he is trying to grow a mustache but it's just sad patches on his upper lip. He is in a waiter's outfit, and looks to have been working the event.
He laughs defiantly in your face but his reedy voice cracks a little. Ha-ha…… ahhh… ha! You'll get nothing out of Dasko! Friends call me Dasko the Vault, so tight-lipped am I!
The boy continues to sing, hoping to revive his ward. This time he fills the doctor with the competence of a nymph in a nursery. He immediately calls the fire of poison to leave Lumi’s body.
Lord Valta’s doctor is trying to revive Lumi, to no effect. She has gone very pale.
A Boy sees the doctor bolstered by his song, and he confidently nods before turning and mutters something in Lord's Valta's ear. The prince leans in closely to listen, the concern writ clear on his face.
The doctor rummages in his bag and pulls out a small crystal vial, tilts Lumi’s head back, and forces her to take a thick, brown liquid.
The doctor seems deeply concerned for Lumi on a personal level, but professionally satisfied that he has made a good diagnosis.
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"Listen up Dasko the Vault, we've got a big battering ram named Gate, and he's gonna open you up without any problems"
"Doctor, what effect has this poison wrought upon My Fairest Lady?"
With the medicine administered, Lumi seems as if she is merely asleep. She is able to breathe freely again, though her skin is quite wan.
The doctor's thin, birdlike head leans forward as he peers at A Boy with hazel eyes distended by thick, round glasses. The handsome Prince puts his arm on the man's forest-green robe to reassure him. Doctor Turnipwhisper, this is one of Lumi's Special Protectors — appointed by Stepmother herself.
The man adjusts his glasses (which promptly slide down his nose once again), and smoothes his smooth goatee.
Special… protector. Hrrrm. Well! Effects of the poison, my boy, Lumi is asleep now, or like sleeping, as it is the poison's work, but it might have been much worse. She is lucky. Small dose. Assassin Vine Cocktail. Very rare. I would not have known, if not for a sudden burst of genius. Very rare, very special poison, indeed.
Lord Valta nods at the doctor. Turnipwhisper. Continue in quiet, in safety.
He turns. GUARDS! Take my daughter and the doctor to her room and keep a lookout. He turns again. You guards there! Stop lollygagging! Take Attendant Queen Haijyin and Prince Ruhtin to their rooms. And post watchmen immediately!
He points at A Boy. You and your friends. The special protectors. The trap-finders and poison-sniffers. Do your duty: find evidence, sniff poison, then help guard my daughter. With your life.
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"I can see that. So tight-lipped, in-fact, that in bragging about how tight-lipped you are you immediately answered the first half of my question. Now, what do you expect is going to happen to you, once the Lord's attention has turned from his daughter back in this direction? Of course, of more immediate concern to you is the attention of my dashing friend here." Samen nods to Gate. "If I were you, I'd be doing all I can to get back into any sort of good graces I could find."
Gate, knowing that the queen has been quick to dispense antidotes, but has done nothing to help Lumi, tries to read the queen’s reaction.
Quickly realizing his talents are better spent elsewere, he turns to Dasko and grins wide.
”Lookie at what we got here, boys.”
Gate pulls Dasko up by the collar, then licks his thumb and drags it along the the thin mustache on Dasko’s lip.
”Thought I saw some dirt on your face there. But no, that’s you trying to be a man, isn’t it? Trying to be a real tough guy. Would you like to continue, trying that is? Or would you like to tell us what you know, so that I don’t have to, as my friend here put it, open you up.”
Dasko quivers in Gate's grip.
ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh--ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohhhhhh… p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssse don't hurt me, mister! PLEASE!
A tear dribbles from the corner of his eye and warm snot drops on Gate's hand; Dasko the "Vault" begins hyperventilating.
Who sent me!? I… don't… I don't… I don't… knoooooooowwww! The last word morphs into a high pitched wail. He was at the Cracked Cleric. I was drunk. I'm… [sniff] sorry! He wails again.
He flails his feet in the air, and one of his dress shoes flies off; a pale big pokes out of a hole in the black dress sock. A coin rolls across the ground and settles on the flagstones at Samen's feet.
The boy begins to sing again from across the room, walking towards the captive as he does so.
"My lady lies asleep, a nightmare scene
For truly such a beauty, kind as doves,
Should walk among those folk of stony heart.
Some wicked force has called you hence this eve.
But I am here to let you speak the truth."
He gives the queen a glance as he speaks of hearts and spite.
The boy begins to sing again from across the room, walking towards the captive as he does so.
"My lady lies asleep, a nightmare scene
For truly such a beauty, kind as doves,
Should walk among those folk of stony heart.
Some wicked force has called you hence this eve.
But I am here to let you speak the truth."
He gives the queen a glance as he speaks of hearts and spite.
A Boy sees the queen sneer at him, and roll her eyes at his song as he goes by.
Samen picks up the coin with a smirk, holding it up to examine it.
Well now, isn't that interesting?